Attached Strings
by MarySLi
Summary: Innocence Rock Time! sequel. A lot of things can change in a year, things like feelings and persons, and not exactly in a pleasant way. In a world that twists feelings and deceives lovers, is it possible that something as sacred as love can truly exist?
1. Prologue

**Title: **Attached Strings

**Original story: **DGray Man by Katsura Hoshino

**Pairings: **LavixOCxOC, KandaxOC with Ticky Mikk meddling, AllenxLenalee

**Setting: **USA. More specifically: Denver, Colorado. 2011-2012

**Warnings: **OOC-ness, especially Lavi. Moderated sexual content. My mother tongue isn't English, so there can be grammar and spelling mistakes as well as verb/noun confusion.

**Genre: **Drama, romance, some humor.

**This is a sequel of Innocence Rock Time! Although the development of the happenings may be not strictly linked to the previous story, it may be advisable to check it out if you haven't. The warnings for that story, together with immatureness, are the same.**

_Attached Strings_

_Prologue~_

November 2, 2011

* * *

><p><em>Divergent: <em>_adj._

_1. __Drawing apart from a common point; diverging._

_2. __Departing from convention._

_3. __Differing from another: _

_4. __Mathematics:__ Failing to approach a limit; not convergent._

Izzie wrote down the definitions on her math notebook. The scratch of the pen against paper was everything that sounded in the wide, silent house.

After three months living there, Izzie still hadn't accustomed to the tranquility of the suburbs. At Kanda's flat, silence was usually interspersed with the typical sounds of the city: speeding cars, ambulances, patrols or dogs barking. Here, it didn't matter the time of the day, the calmness remained imperturbable.

Izzie glanced at the large living room through the arch of the kitchen. The walls were painted of a soft beige color –her election- whilst the furniture had a minimalistic style –Kanda's choice-. They had changed the 41' plasma T.V. the bassist had in his previous flat for a 42' LED television, which now hung atop the chimney.

The black sofas rested in front of the big screen, together with the Japanese-style coffee table Kanda insisted to keep. This, as well as the collection of sheathed katanas which decorated one of the walls and the Japanese lamps hanging from the ceiling, made it obvious the nationality of one of the occupants of the house.

The other half of the decoration: the coral-colored curtains, the pinkish carpet and the pair of maroon lamps, gave off the classy, elegant air that only a woman born in a high class family could have.

Izzie sighed, still not believing that this was her home. More than a year had passed since she lost everything she cherished in life; and more than a year had passed since Kanda appeared to save her from misery. Moreover, he, with his particular style, offered her a home and a future.

And now that they had moved from the concurrent flat in Denver to a bigger house in the suburbs, Izzie felt as if everything was back in track. She was about to finish High School and planned to apply for Medical School in Colorado's University. Yes, after Kanda received a shot that day because of her and was saved by an excellent team of doctors, Izzie decided that she wanted to save lives too.

A shudder ran down her spine upon the remembrance of the subway's incident. She shook the memory off with a motion of her head and focused back on the last bit of homework she had to finish.

After she scribbled down the last vague notes, the kettle started to whistle. Izzie closed her notebook and walked to the brand-new stove, where the poultry was getting cooked and the tea demanded her attention. She took the kettle away from the fire and checked that the stew wasn't burning.

She glimpsed at the clock above the counter. 6:30. With a ladle, she tasted a bit of stew to make sure it was ready. Smiling in approval, she turned off the fire and started setting up the table.

The principal door opened just when she placed the last spoon onto the tablecloth. Although Izzie already knew the identity of the person, she peeped through the arch in the wall.

The sight of him never changed: he always looked glorious no matter the time of the day. With his long hair waving at his back and the way his muscles marked beneath the thin fabric of his light-blue sleeves, Kanda Yuu looked more gorgeous than any human alive.

Though she knew he wouldn't notice, Izzie smirked warmly at him. Kanda tossed his black blazer onto one of the sofas and approached the kitchen with rhythmic steps.

Izzie hurried to clear the table from notebooks and pencils and left them on one side of the counter.

"Tsch, you didn't make soba. Again" Kanda complained as soon as he entered the kitchen, sniffing the air.

Izzie frowned while placing a wide plate with poultry in the middle of the table. "We ate soba three days ago"

"And?" Kanda huffed. Nonetheless, he sat on the same chair he always used. "What the fuck is this?" The bassist asked, glaring distrustfully at the stew.

"Chicken, complainer" Izzie rolled her eyes and took her place at the table. "The yellow creatures that say 'cheep cheep', remember?"

"I know what a chicken is, moron. I just don't want to eat it" Kanda snorted. Oblivious to his disgust expression, Izzie served a spoonful of the stew on her boyfriend's plate.

"Then, starve, because I'm not making soba especially for you" the girl sentenced. She focused then on chewing pieces of the food she had prepared.

Kanda flinched and reluctantly started eating as well. Truthfully, even though he didn't enjoy eating other type of food that wasn't Japanese, Izzie wasn't a bad cook after all.

He gazed at her while eating. Her short hair fitted perfectly the girl's thin face, better than the long, raven mane with which he met her last summer. Like six months ago she started using makeup everyday and it favored her a lot, although Kanda disliked the way her lips tasted with all that gloss on it. He would never say any of those things aloud, anyway, utterly keeping his mouth shut throughout his examinations and afterwards.

"How did it go? Did they like the lyrics?" Izzie inquired after a while, referring to the lyrics proposal she had sent with Kanda that day.

Kanda grunted, incensed with the way Izzie used him as a messenger just because she had 'too much homework to attend today's reunion'. He shrugged "They liked it. Also Lotto-san, or so I heard"

Now that Izzie had no family neither income, to survive she worked as a lyric writer for Black Order Music Corporation. She wrote songs principally for 'Innocence', Kanda, Lenalee, Allen and Lavi's band, who were intimate friends of her. Also, she had made some pieces for individual singers such as Miranda Lotto, opera singer Hevlaska, pop star Tewaku and some others, which, regarding the selling rates of the CD's, paid her a considerable amount of money regularly. Money with which, joined with Kanda's salary, helped them buy the new house they lived now in.

Izzie just smirked with satisfaction, relieved that she had done a good job. "How was Lavi?" she asked after another minute of silence.

"Tsch, sober and promiscuous" Kanda growled.

The girl sighed worriedly. After Angel left with Leverrier –her adoptive father- that dreadful day, Lavi hadn't been the same. The first weeks weren't that bad, though. He would mourn the whole day, barely talking nor smiling, and would get drunk three or four nights a week. Now, however, his attitude displayed a completely changed Lavi. Albeit his demeanor with the band recovered its cheerfulness and gleeful, Lavi Bookman had turned into an insensitive, reckless playboy who spent the nights drinking in different bars and clubs and woke up the next morning in different beds with a hangover with which he had eventually learned to live. As a consequence, his grades dropped -although that didn't matter after he graduated with lame notes- and he refused going to college, assuring that he was _Lavi Bookman,_ heir of Bookman's fortune and that he had a brilliant future in the music business.

"At least he was sober" Izzie grimaced. Watching Lavi, probably the sweetest guy ever, doing that to himself, turning into an alcoholic, promiscuous and presumably drug-addict, Izzie couldn't avoid blaming Angel for all that.

Despite how hard she tried not to hate her ex-best friend for all the damage she did with her departure, Izzie loathed her. Betraying her wasn't enough, Izzie bitterly thought, no, Angel also had to lift Lavi up to let him down afterwards. Leverrier's adoptive child should have known that she sometime had to leave when she started dating Lavi, and she should have talked that with him, but the girl preferred to have a good time and forget about the rest.

Angel…perhaps she was never the person Izzie believed her to be. She betrayed her, delivering Izzie Fletcher right into the hands of her father's enemies, and then she broke Lavi's innocent heart.

"Not for too long. He said he was going to Beta tonight" Kanda responded. "Anyway, it's his life; he can do whatever he wants with it"

Izzie, seeing that Kanda had finished eating, stood up and took the dishes to the sink "Still, it is worrisome"

Kanda didn't reply.

She opened the faucet and let the water splash against the porcelain of the plates. "When are you going to fix the dishwasher, Kanda?" Izzie questioned angrily, changing the subject. "I'm tired of doing the dishes everyday and you don't help me"

A pair of arms suddenly surrounded her thin waist. She tried not to jolt at the contact as always, but the noisy cluttering of the dishes gave her away. "You are wearing one of my shirts again" he softly accused, murmuring in her ear.

"I-I…" Izzie stuttered when Kanda bit the lobe of her ear. She closed her eyes, trying to gain enough self-control to form coherent words. "I spilt some of the stew on mine and…and this one was… handy in the…laundry room"

"Liar" Kanda cooed against her neck. He softly kissed the sensitive skin below her jaw line. "You know how badly it turns me on"

Izzie flustered. "I…that's not true…I…" She endeavored to explain, however, gave up after a while. She bit her tongue to suppress the moans which crept up her throat when Kanda started sucking _that spot_ below her chin.

She imperceptibly turned around, leaving the water flowing in the sink. She tangled her fingers in Kanda's hair, damping it with her wet hands.

Kanda finally met her expectant mouth with a fierce kiss. He tasted her, fighting against the remaining flavors of the poultry. When a cold drop of water ran down his back after Izzie cupped his face with her hands, Kanda jolted forward, coming closer to Izzie than intended. For a brief moment he felt her whole body pressed against him through the thin fabric of his shirt.

He kissed her more passionately, inserting his tongue inside her mouth, savoring her as hard as he could. She softly moaned and gripped the lapels of his shirt, pulling him down instinctively.

After biting her lower lip, Kanda released her mouth to repeat the trail up and down her neck, sucking at the spots which he knew were the more sensitive. She squirmed and endeavored to not moan like a prostitute, but, hell, it was just so hard when he was so good!

Slowly, Kanda started unbuttoning Izzie's shirt, his mouth kissing the now exposed collarbones. After undoing the last button, his hands seductively caressed the bare skin of her abdomen, moving slowly up, exploring the flesh he never touched before.

"Kan…Kanda…" Izzie murmured, fighting against her ecstasy.

Kanda didn't seem to hear. Or perhaps he did, because he kissed her in the mouth as if he wanted her to keep silence.

She did it for a while, lost in the way his fingers traced random patterns on her skin, but when he started to help himself with the clasps of her bra, she pushed him away.

"Kanda, Kanda, no, please" she whispered against his lips. With her arms she tried to push his downwards.

Kanda just kissed the crook of her neck again "Mm, why not? We live together" as if making emphasis to that statement, he drew her closer until there was no inch of her body that wasn't in contact with his. Stubbornly, he continued playing with the clasps of her bra albeit Izzie's futile complains.

"Kanda, no. Kanda, Kanda, stop it!" she raised her voice upon feeling the straps of her bra yielding beneath the Japanese's fingers and other _thing_ pressed against her hips. She pushed him away with one hand, holding her underwear piece in place with the other.

With a resignation grunt, Kanda finally let her go. He looked at her: her crimson cheeks, her messy hair and her almost-bare torso. It required all his self-control to not launch over her again.

"I-I am sorry" Izzie dully muttered "I-I am not ready, Kanda. Not yet"

"It's been more than a year, Izzobel" Kanda replied, appealing to her by her complete name, something he usually did when he got angry at her.

"I know, I know" the girl mumbled. She clasped again her bra in place and started buttoning her shirt again, avoiding looking the bulge in Kanda's pants. "But I'm not ready yet. I am sorry" she apologized.

Kanda looked at her in the eye. Fuck. She was just staring at him that fucking way…

"Whatever" he waved his hand in the air, taking away importance of the matter. Hell, he was hoping that this time they'd really be able to lie down. But if Izzie didn't want to, well, forcing her was not going to make it any better.

He shifted his feet uncomfortably, sensing _that _in his crotch. Fuck, what the hell was he supposed to do with _that?_ This time it didn't feel as if a cold shower could be enough.

The Japanese turned around and walked to the threshold. "I'm sorry, Kanda" he heard Izzie repeat. "I-This doesn't mean I don't love you, is just that-"

"I know" he interjected midsentence. Without another word, he climbed upstairs, leaving Izzie alone.

Izzie took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. The blood in her veins seemed to be running at uncontrollable speed and his heart thumbed like a maniac. She felt guilty for saying no to Kanda one more time.

It was not the first time he attempted to take them to the next step. It had happened before, but he had never gotten so close like this time. Izzie was still shaking.

Would it…would it really hurt if they _did it_ just once? Kanda was right: they were a stable couple, they lived together and, even though both were still studying –Kanda studied Enterprises Administration at Colorado University- they had a good income, in case any 'accident' occurred. But Izzie thought about her career. Medical School was quite hard, she knew, and raising a child…

But nobody had ever talked about having a child. There were contraceptive methods she could effectively use. Perhaps…perhaps they should try at once. Kanda was, after all, her boyfriend and the one who picked her up when everybody else had let her down. She owed so much to him…

Sighing, she finished doing the dishes, making up her mind about this new idea. Contraceptive methods…pills were fairly effective, right?

She needed to sleep over it. And talk to a specialist, if necessary. Also, perhaps Lenalee could give her some advice about it, although she doubted the girl had already started a sexual life.

Lavi. Maybe Lavi could help her. He knew some specialists, right? And he was not stupid enough to bed down with half of the town's female population without using any protection.

She'd have to talk to him about it.

* * *

><p>AN:Hi again! Alright, I know I should first update Camera Flash, but, err...well, I couldn't wait to start Attached Strings! So, for those Kazzie lovers, here I compensate the lack of them in Innocence Rock Time! epilogue ;) Hope you liked this.

And for Langel lovers...well, I'm sorry, but I can assure you that next chapter will be full of them ;)

Well, as I said, this story is going to be a lot more mature, explicit and complicated than the last one. I hope I cover your expectatives and, if not, be nice in your reviews hehe

Thank you for still following me! Thank you very much n.n Angel and Izzie appreciate that a lot.

Well, what about reviews? Or cookies? Hell, I'm really hungry now.

Sayo sayo!

Pd. There are some drawings that my good friend EdelyneElric made for this Fanfic. You can check them out on my profile, as well as the full summary of this because the space for summaries assigned by Fanfiction sucks ;)

Thank you, EdelyneElric! I gotta remind you that Angel and Izzie are original creations of her, so dedicate her an applause! And go check her profile too, she's got some nice stories there ;)


	2. Pour a Drink

_Attached Strings_

_Oh, sometimes love is intoxicating_

_Oh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking_

_When you realize there's no one waiting- Nothing, The Script_

The roar of the fans overwhelmed her, as always, but she hid it perfectly behind a mask of enthusiasm and excitement.

She looked around as every hand raised to the air. The people jumping at regular intervals created the illusion of waves in the ocean. Even though the bar where she performed wasn't that big and the amount of people was rather modest, she felt successful.

"Thank you very much, people" The girl voiced through the microphone, warmly smiling at the audition. The platinum-blonde hairs of her wig clouded her vision for a while when she gratefully bowed.

A chorus of 'Nana, Nana' accompanied the multiple applauses. Beaming, the singer said into the microphone "I've had a really great time with you today, thank you for receiving me so warmly, Denver. Now, to close the night-" a general commotion drowned her words for a minute. She waited with routinely patience until the bar fell silent again, and continued "-a very close friend of mine who is travelling with me in this mini-tour will sing one last song with me. Please, greet Matt Evans!"

From behind the false walls that separated the tiny backstage from the stage, a young man with a guitar strode into the blue-ish spotlight. His tanned skin acquired a weird tonality under the altered lights of the bar, whilst his shiny, brown hair messily covered his brow. He was attractive, and his sober style, conformed only by a pair of black trousers and a white shirt, contrasted terribly with Nana's eccentricity.

The young woman used a long wig, which hairs fell loosely around her face and trailed down her back. Her dark eyes were surrounded by layers of pink eyeshadow and glitter which artistically played the role of a mask while her lips shone with a dark, purple color.

The outfit wasn't less eye-catching than her makeup. She was wearing a pink dress that adjusted perfectly to her slim body, outlining every curve of it. The mini skirt left her tanned legs exposed to the public. From underneath its fabric, threads floated in the cool air of the bar, and silk strips equally fell behind her legs, as if the girl was standing in the middle of a peachy cloud.

Matt observed her for a fraction of second, and then smiled sheepishly to the public. He sat onto a stool a kind waiter had placed in front of a second microphone, at Nana's side. Accommodating his guitar onto his legs, he winked at the public: "Good night, everyone. I hope not to ruin Nana's fabulous performance with my unwanted intrusion" The man mockingly said.

"Oh don't say those things, Matt. They already heard you across the country" Nana warmly retorted. "Did you like '_Need you now'_ or what?" She bellowed happily to the fans.

The general roar was enough answer.

Nana nodded in direction of the keyboardist to indicate him he could start. The soft notes filled the air, silencing the people immediately with growing expectation. Afterwards, the rest of the instruments complemented the piece of music.

"This song," Nana started to say, using the intro of the song as soundtrack music, "I wrote it thinking about someone I love, but whom I left behind. This is for him, though he is not hearing now" the girl melancholically said. Although she was smiling, the happiness of the gesture didn't reach her eyes.

_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor  
>Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore<em>

She sang the first two lines alone. Her voice was soft, amid high-pitched and deep, finding the perfect, harmonic point between the two extremes.

Then, her voice intertwined with Matt's for the next line, his deep baritone perfectly harmonized with Nana's singing.

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
>For me it happens all the time<em>

The chorus they sang together, however, Matt's contribution was left in a second place, for it was Nana's participation the outstanding one throughout the chorus.

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
>Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now<br>And I don't know how I can do without  
>I just need you now<em>

_Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door  
>Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before<br>And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
>For me it happens all the time<em>

This second verse was left for Matt alone. He had a certain way of singing which few people had listened before. It was not a guttural sound, not yet a soft production of his vocal strings. It rather seemed to come from within the back of his throat, fueled by the air that came in and out of the singer's stomach at his will.

_It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now  
>Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now<br>And I don't know how I can do without  
>I just need you now<em>

_woah woaaah._

_Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all_

_It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now_

_And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

_I just need you now (wait)_

_Ooo, baby, I need you now_

Matt's and Nana's voices interspersed turns for the rest of the song, just to finish together in a perfect harmony, with Nana's singing raising through the stuffy air of the enclosed bar.

The wave of acclamations and applauses rose once the last note was played. Bowing with gratefulness, Nana and Matt waved farewell to the hordes of fans. The large group started to disperse, except for a bunch that remained standing in front of the stage, waiting for Nana to go down and spend a few minutes with the loyal followers.

"I'm your biggest fan!"

"Oh my God, I'm so glad you came!"

"You are awesome, Nana"

"I love your dress!"

This and similar exclamations embraced the young singer once she stepped onto the wooden floor of the bar. With a never-fading smile, she signed a few autographs, took photographs with the ones who were bold enough to ask her for one, and laughed and talked with the teenagers in a friendly manner. After a few minutes, Matt joined her in the crowd just to be received with a _really _warm welcome by the females.

It took an hour for the bar's owner to dismiss the customers. Nana remained there until the last of her fans walked away. She then stared at the empty seats faintly smiling.

"Tired?" Matt questioned, placing himself beside her.

The female singer shrugged "I'm getting used to it"

"Wanna go for dinner? I don't know you, but I'm starving, girl" Matt growled, patting his stomach emphatically.

"Yes, let's go. I know a few nice restaurants around here" Nana wearily responded, "Just give me a few minutes to take away all this makeup"

Nana was about to walk into the backstage when she heard another voice calling her.

"Nana? ?"A male summoned.

Nana turned around to face him. Beside her, Matt narrowed his eyes in direction of the newcomer distrustfully.

A man in his thirties slyly smirked at the singer. He was bald, except for a thick, blonde lock of hair which fell over one of his eyes, hiding it.

"Yes?" Nana gave a few steps towards him, curious. As far as she knew, her music was only heard by teenagers and youngsters, no full-grown adults.

"Hi, my name is Gozu" the man's smile widened and he extended one of his hand, expecting Nana to shake it. "I'm from Black Order Music Corporation"

Nana reacted a few seconds late. She unsurely took the man's hand, her smile already faded from her face.

"Hi, a pleasure" she weakly replied. "Err…he is my companion, Matt" she pointed to the boy's face with a gesture of her head.

"A pleasure" Gozu shook Matt's hand too. "Just to leave out all doubts; is it true, Mss. Nana that you haven't got a manager neither recording house?"

Nana nodded. "I've been working on my own"

Visibly pleased and relaxed, as if he had confirmed a supposition, Gozu continued talking, "Then, it is my pleasure to inform you that Black Order has shown great interest in you, mss. And the musicians who travel with you, of course" he added, eyeing Matt.

"Bla-Black Order…wants me?" Nana stuttered, kind of thunderstruck.

"They have got a really generous offer for you. It includes a personal recording studio, half a million copies for your initial album, your singles broadcasted on MTV and FM radio stations and the 50% of the profits, all of these subject to bargaining" Gozu enumerated, looking at the ceiling the whole time while recalling the aspects of the offer.

Matt whistled, "What an offer!"

Gozu grinned. "Here is my card," he handed a piece of cardboard with a series of numbers and letters printed in it. "If you decide to accept the offer, you can call to one of these numbers"

Nana took it with shaky hands "Oh..oh, I…of course I accept it!" she exclaimed, a beam crossing her face. "Oh, well, I, I don't know if Matt…" Nana glanced at her companion, suddenly doubtful.

"Oh, I am in. Of course I am in!" The male singer sharply nodded, too excited to babble something more.

Gozu, delighted with their response, took out from his jacket a BlackBerry and started to type in it. "Well, then I shall give you an appointment. What about Monday in the morning?"

Nana counted in her head the amount of days they could spend in Denver before heading to their last city of the tour. She nodded upon confirming they still had a wide range of days to spend freely. "On Monday, then"

"Emm…under which name can I arrange the appointment?" Gozu sheepishly inquired, glancing at the pair of singers.

"Matthew Evans" Matt said.

Gozu typed it and then looked at Nana, waiting for her name.

She sighed, "Angel. Angel Leverrier"

* * *

><p>Lavi strolled around the hallways of the headquarters nonchalantly, indifferent to whatever could be happening in the rest of the world.<p>

He shook the glass of whisky he was carrying in what hand, enjoying the clutter of the ice cubes crashing against each other.

The scratches on his back still ached from last night, but it was that kind of pain of which you feel proud of, no matter how bothersome it could be. Despite the leftover marks, Lavi didn't regret anything he did last night.

"Bookman!" a female summoned him from down the corridor.

Lavi spun on his heels to face her, already tipsy. "I already told you to call me just Lavi" said he.

"Whatever" Izzie shook her hand to dismiss importance from his statement, "I…I'd like to ask you some questions" she muttered in a low voice once she reached the young singer.

Lavi gazed at her. Her aloof countenance was somehow similar to Kanda now, and matched perfectly the cold, impersonal attitude the girl had assumed after her father left her. Or, rather said, she left her father.

"Well, I still haven't discovered the magical way of hiding a hickey, if that's what you want to ask" he replied, pointing indiscreetly to the scarf Izzie wore around her neck.

Color instantly crept to the girl's face. She cleared her throat uncomfortably, tugging at the fabric of her scarf. "That's…that wasn't my question!" she snapped.

Lavi chuckled and sipped his whisky, ignoring the disapproving glare Izzie sent him. "Well, then what were you going to ask me, Iz?"

Izzie didn't respond immediately. Instead, she shifted her feet, fixating her eyes on them, and took several deep breaths as she tried to shake the embarrassment out of her.

"I don't have all day, darling" Lavi pressed.

Izzie darted him a withering look, and said, "I…even though I think you have become pretty stupid and reckless-"

"Thank you?"

"I know you aren't that stupid to bed down with half the population without using any kind of…precaution and, and….Kanda….ugh….I…ask you how…you know…" Izzie opened and closed her mouth repetitively, like a fish pulled out of the water. At the end, she utterly shut up, completely blushed.

Lavi smiled, "Kanda wants to reach next step but you are unsure of it, since you don't want any kind of _surprises _to appear" he finished explaining for her.

Izzie mutely nodded.

The redheaded rubbed his chin with his fingers, feigning deep reflection, "Well, as far as I know, Kanda hasn't got any kind of STD. That guy was pretty touchy whenever he bedded down with some random girl, so your main concern should be just getting pregnant…"

"I know that" Izzie said. However, she never considered the possibility of Kanda having any STD, and scolded herself for skipping that dreadful possibility. She knew Kanda was nothing close to 'virgin' –his way of kissing and touching didn't leave space for doubting that- still, she never considered him as the carrier of any kind of sexual disease.

"Then, you can just take some contraception pills or use patches. I'm pretty sure Yuu wouldn't consider taking a _further step _without being, ya' know, _prepared_, although sometimes he can be pretty reckless" Lavi reasoned.

Izzie suppressed a growl. Lavi didn't say anything new to her. In any case, he just confirmed the viability of her plans. So she just got embarrassed in front of him for nothing…urgh

"Well, I guess…thank you…then" she wryly smiled, hiding her annoyance.

"But, Izzie" he called before the girl could walk away. The girl darted him a questioning look and waited for him to talk.

Lavi warmly smiled at her, "if you don't feel ready for this, you know, Yuu can wait. Don't exert yourself too much. Just because you are living together doesn't mean you have to give yourself completely to him"

Izzie smirked back at him and said, "I want to try this. That's all. I _want_ to do this" she assured.

The singer didn't seem convinced, but didn't say anything more. He knew Izzie didn't take criticism quite nicely and she was kind of pigheaded whenever it was about Kanda. Therefore, Lavi swallowed his opinion and watched her stride away, her head held high, walking with the security she didn't possess when they first met.

The singer was kind of worried about her. Kanda had turned out to be Izzie's world, so everything Izzie wanted, desired and _needed_ was mystically linked to the bassist. Of course, she didn't notice it. In fact, barely anyone noticed the sick dependence she had developed, people relating her demeanor to a deep state of infatuation.

He shook this out of his head with another gulp of whisky. Izzie was already a grown-up, as well as Kanda, and they knew what to do with their lives. Only time was to decide the route their relationship was going to take. At least, Lavi bitterly thought, Kanda got to stay with the girl.

Lavi finished the rest of his whisky, waiting for the alcohol to drag away all of his bitterness. He squared his shoulders just for the pleasure of feeling the scratches stir with the motion, sending jolts of pain along his body. For a moment, Lavi considered calling the woman for another round –she'd left him his telephone number-, but then remembered himself his rule of not bedding two times with the same person; women could get really clingy.

Lavi headed back to Innocence's assigned quarters to refill his glass, hoping that Lenalee hadn't thrown away his bottle of whisky again.

In order to get to his destination, Lavi had to cross Black Order's lobby. It was already late in the afternoon, the hour in which people started to rush out of their offices to go home and rest, just to start the same routine all over again the next day, so Lavi knew it'd be a chaos. It didn't disturb him, though, since he was still a social person who enjoyed others' company.

A cacophony of voices and exclamations reached him before he stepped into the wide, circular room. People walked from here to there and viceversa, carrying portfolios, suitcases or bunch of papers in their hands. Lavi recognized the majority of them, except for those ones of the minor status who continuously changed.

He glanced at the street through the glass doors. The orange rays of sun bathed the sidewalks and edifices of the city, preceding the arrival of dusk.

Deciding that walking to Innocence's quarters would be rather a waste of time, considering the possibility that Lenalee had already get rid of his liquor, Lavi opted for delivering the glass to the receptionist and retire from Black Order. He had nothing left to do there and he yearned for a nicely prepared mojito before searching someone interesting to spend the night with.

He approached the counter, randomly addressing some of the workers he came across with.

A few yards away, he saw Brigitte –the receptionist- talking to a woman Lavi didn't remember seeing at the headquarters before. She was giving her back to him, ungainly leaning against the white surface of the counter. Her dark hair, despite being fixed in a high ponytail, fell to the low part of her back.

Lavi shamelessly leered at her: the thin waist, the narrow hips, and the short legs hidden by a pair of trousers. The analysis provoked him a chill which he couldn't explain. There was something wrong, he sensed, something misplaced, amiss, but he couldn't tell what it was.

He shoved the idea out of his mine immediately. Anyway, the girl was entirely not his type, even though he had just seen her back. So he stepped right beside her without dedicating the stranger a single side-glance, and spoke directly to Brigitte, "Hey, Brig, can I leave this here?"

The clash of glass hitting marble caught the receptionist's attention. "I'm not your personal secretary, Lavi" she retorted while searching for something between a bunch of papers she had scattered onto her desk.

There was a gasp. Lavi looked to his side to see the source of the sound.

It felt surreal. Everything went smooth, everything felt smooth, as if his bones had been converted into just marrow.

There was no air. No air at all. He was choking.

And when she spoke, it was like the chime announcing the returning of forsaken demons; the beginning of his judgment; the confirmation that all his fears and dreams had converged in the same thing, the thing that was now standing right in front of him.

"Lavi? You are…Lavi!" the stranger gleefully beamed, her eyes glinting with emotions he once believed had faded.

He gave a step backwards, startled by the overwhelming torrent of emotions that flowed from those two pupils.

Angel stepped in his direction, still grinning. "Oh my God! I thought I was never going to see you! I thought…I thought, oh my God, Lavi!" She reached out, outstretching her arms to embrace the singer.

Lavi gave another step backwards.

"Go" he deadpanned, surprised by the coldness of his own tone. He wondered if it matched the expression of his face.

Angel's smile flickered and she tilted her head to one side in confusion. "What? Lavi, it is me! Angel!"

"I know it is you" he harshly snapped. Of course it was her! The high cheekbones, the tanned skin, the big eyes, the thin lips…if anything, she was just a bit taller, but the rest of her persona remained the same as he remembered, although he never wanted to remember.

Angel struggled for words, bewildered by his hostile behavior. "Then, what is…?"

"Go away, Angel" the name rushed out of his mouth like a poisonous snake, an unpleasant feeling.

"But I came…I came for you!"

"I never asked you to come!" Lavi icily blurted "Go away, Angel. Get your ass out of my sight" Without waiting for a response he turned around to leave, stamping his way out of the headquarters.

He hastily entered his recently bought Bentley and pulled off onto the road, stepping on the accelerator with more strength than necessary. Soon, the needle of the speedometer marked 130 km per hour, and increased with every turn of the tires.

It was a nice feeling, the velocity, the danger, the adrenaline running through his veins and, above everything, the necessity of focusing on the task of driving so as to avoid any kind of accident. It cleared his mind from any other issue and gave him the sensation of peace, something he seldom lost within the last year.

Concentrated in the task, he didn't even think about where he was driving. He just wandered around for the pleasure of it, not conscious about where the road was leading him, and when he reached some crossroad, he just turned to the less-transited street. There was no pattern, no way to follow, just the way he wanted his mind to function.

Or so he thought. When he noticed it, he had already parked in front of his grandpa's house or, better said, shack, in the outskirts of the city.

He tightened his grip around the steering wheel, staring at the shack with weary eyes. The lights of the modest living room filtrated through the dark curtains, illuminating a patch of dry grass in front of it. Apart from this small spot of visibility, the surroundings –the large courtyard, the willow tree and the old Cherokee which was probably last used on the 60's- slowly darkened with the shadows of dusk.

The last time Lavi saw his grandfather was when he arrived home one morning drunk and with his neck carpeted with hickeys. Panda had already seen his grandchild arrive in that state and even worse, and had no option but to shift worry for disapproval. The suitcases with his belongings were waiting for Lavi outside the house that morning and, no matter how adamantly he knocked at the door, Panda never opened.

The memory still bit his chest with dread. Panda was –or had been- the only family Lavi ever had and losing him was another struck to his already injured heart. He knew that if he changed his habits, going back to the sober, conscious Lavi he once was, Panda would open the door for him, however, the singer decided not to move a finger to accomplish that. That didn't mean he didn't care about the old man, because he did care and a lot. At least enough to pass every now and then in front of the shack to verify the lights were still on. It was just that Lavi didn't want to go back to the same he was before, because that'd mean he had to go back to the vulnerable, gullible child susceptible to be left heartbroken again, and that was something he couldn't bear.

No, he wasn't going back now that he discovered a way to become stronger, untouchable, and invulnerable.

He restarted the engine after another melancholic glance to the wooden walls and drove back to the city. Listing in his mind the different bar names he knew, the singer headed downtown in expectation of another amount of reckless obliviousness.

* * *

><p>"Alright, the camera's on" Allen smiled, giving a step back, his eye fixated on the camera, to catch a better vision of Lenalee's face.<p>

Lenalee beamed and waved hello to the camera. "Hi, Innocence's fans! I am Lenalee Lee, as you already know, and am here to thank you for purchasing our album 'Broken Strings'" At this point, the Chinese winked and made a 'v' with her index and middle fingers, then continued, "We are so happy to have your support, guys, without you, we could never have come this far. And you better get prepared, because for this winter we are planning to start our 'Attaching Strings Tour' around Europe! The itinerary will be uploaded within the next week, so stay tuned in, Europeans! A kiss and a hug to all of you, guys, thank you so much for sticking with Innocence! My other companions send their regards and a huge amount of hugs. Have a nice day. Bye, bye!"

At a gesture from Lenalee, Allen pressed 'stop' and lowered the camera. The Chinese girl ran immediately to his side to look at the reproduction in the small screen.

"How was it?" she questioned as she waited for Allen to play the video.

"Amazing, Lenalee" the Brit responded with a smile. Both of them, by tacit agreement, kept silence while the clip reproduced, Lenalee's minimized voice repeating the words she said a minute before.

"I think it is a little bit rushed" the Chinese twisted her mouth, doubtful, once it ended. "Shall I say more?"

"I think it is perfect. You covered the thanking and the announcement" Allen refuted. He eyed at the girl, who didn't seem fully convinced, "Want to do it another time?"

Lenalee shook her head after a short deliberation, "No, it is okay like that. Mind if we upload tomorrow? It is already late and Nii-san will be worried"

"More? I couldn't think it possible" Allen ironically, but gently, commented.

The female singer giggled, "You can be surprised. Can you accompany me to Nii-san's office?" she kindly requested.

Allen immediately nodded. He grabbed his jacket from a close chair and left the camera onto a desk, before turning off the lights. Afterwards, the two musicians walked down the empty hallway in direction of Komui's office.

Those quiet moments were the ones that Allen cherished the most. He yearned to take Lenalee's hand, intertwine his fingers with hers, but resisted the urge with Olympic effort. He needed to remind himself that she was still in a relationship with Kyle.

Allen darted a quick glimpse at the girl, as if to reassure himself that she was still there, by his side. The white lights of the headquarters fell perfectly onto her figure, highlighting every feature of hers.

She was still some inches taller than him, and that slightly annoyed the Brit. Anyway, someday he had to grow up, and, perhaps, when that happened and his body was big enough to make Lenalee feel protected, perhaps then she'd turn around and see him as something more than a friend.

He clung to that possibility with mad fierce, impatiently waiting for the moment his bones started to grow. It was stupid, he knew it, but as long as that tiny shimmer of hope existed, he had to hold on to it. Just hold on. Always holding on.

"Did you hear about the new singer?" Lenalee asked conversationally to him as they rounded a corner.

"Nana? I heard something about her in the cafeteria, but didn't pay attention. Has she joined Black Order?"

Up to that day, Allen swore he had never heard anything about that 'Nana' girl. However, if Black Order decided to hire her, then she ought to be really good, he thought.

Lenalee nodded, "Yep, they assigned her studio 5. I didn't get to see her today to give her the welcoming. Perhaps tomorrow" she smiled at the expectation.

"Yes, perhaps tomorrow" Allen repeated, not knowing what else to say.

There were some seconds of silence until Lenalee spoke again, "Do you think they'll ask Izzie to write songs for her?"

"I don't know," Allen shrugged "Izzie has become really renowned around here. Perhaps Nana herself will request the help"

"I hope so. Izzie will need that money to pay Medical School"

Allen wryly smiled. That was how Lenalee was: always thinking about others.

"Although I suspect Kanda is going to pay whatever amount Izzie misses. It's somehow adorable, don't you think?" The Chinese reasoned.

"Kanda and adorable don't fit in the same sentence" Allen dryly replied, feeling a slight sting of jealousy towards the Japanese. World was really unfair. He, the bastard of the band, the coldest and most arrogant person of all, got to be blessed with the fortune of liking someone and be liked back.

Lenalee smirked "Maybe not if we talk of Kanda alone, but when he is with Izzie, well…" she shrugged, not knowing how to finish the sentence, not that it was necessary at all, since Allen grasped what she meant.

Izzie and Kanda's relationship was something he could never get to understand at all. Izzie, at least at the beginning, was polite, educated and well-mannered. Kanda…well, Kanda was Kanda and continued being Kanda. The point is that they both were at the beginning like water and oil, completely opposite and unmixable. And now, Izzie seemed to have become someone to fit the Japanese, without losing at all her classy personality. She'd become more aloof and quiet than before, not getting intimate with anyone but Kanda.

Nevertheless, even when he denied it, Kanda was also affected by Izzie. Come on, the mere fact that Kanda Yuu bought a house in the suburbs as if to settle down, thing that none of them thought him capable of, was something that a year ago could have edged in the unfathomable.

They were opposites, but at the end they converted each other into fitting pieces, without noticing it, without wanting it at all. Was love always that manipulating?

Before he could reply, Komui appeared on the opposite extreme of the hallway. His eyes shone with relief when he saw Lenalee, and, after darting a withering look at Allen, ran to his beloved sister.

"LENALEE-CHAN! YOU ARE SAFE!"

Lenalee laughed uncomfortably "I…guess so?" She coughed when Komui embraced her, squeezing the girl between his arms.

"I was so worried!" the manager cried.

Allen suppressed the impulse to roll his eyes. Instead, he bowed politely at Komui in an Oriental-like manner. "I'll leave now. See you tomorrow, Komui, Lenalee"

Komui dismissed him with an unnoticeable movement of his hand, while Lenalee said, "See you tomorrow, Allen-kun. Argh, Nii-san…you're asphyxiating me!"

"BUT I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"Err…I can't breathe!"

* * *

><p>AN: Awful ending, I know xD Sorry! And also sorry for my redaction, I'll proof read this...later. Thank you so much, again, for sticking with me throughout this sequel! It means a lot to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Well, no Kazzie here :( But there was a lot of Langel and AllenxLenalee ;) I promise next chapter will have some Kazzie moment -perhaps hot moment, but we are still decent people, eh!-

I know, Lavi is OOC, and will keep being a bit OOC, so sorry about that :/ He is hurt, understand him!

For those ones which PM's I have not yet responded, I've been a bit busy these days, but I'll answer them as soon as I can.

Again, thank you for adding this to favorites/story alerts/and reviewing. It does mean a lot to me. Truthfully, I wouldn't have come this far if it wasn't for you, so thank you very much.

Reviews? Or cookies? Damn, I'm hungry. Two hours sitting down typing, ugh...

Sayo Sayo!

Pd: Song: Need you now-Lady Antebellum.


	3. I don't believe you

_Attached Strings_

_cause people change.  
>can't you see my eyes.<br>are they not the same after the lies?-One Day Robots Will Cry, Cobra Starship_

Izzie stared blankly at the small box of her new acquired pills. It was a normal, rectangular box made especially for medicines. Its inferior part was colored in yellow, and, on the white, superior part, the name of the pills was written down in big, black letters.

She ripped the box open and took out its content. Two sets of twenty-eight small, white pills together with a folded sheet of paper filled with instructions fell smoothly onto the tablecloth. There was no need to read whatever the indications were; Izzie had already investigated everything she could on the Internet. The contra-indications and secondary effects scared her a bit, but it was a risk she was up to take if that made Kanda happy. Besides, the cases in which using the contraceptive pills turned out fatally against the consumers were safely low. There was no reason for her, a healthy girl who carried out a healthy lifestyle, to become a victim of some of these consequences.

Kanda still didn't know anything about this, and she was not telling him until the _moment_ arrived. And how was she telling him? Well, letting herself be dragged by the lust of the moment. After all, there was no reason to rush _it_, was it? It was not as if they were dying or, worst, breaking up any time soon.

Izzie scanned the room to make sure there was nobody there. For some reason, doing this made her feel guilty, like a criminal carrying out some mischief. There was something deeply wrong about this. Surely, it had something to do with the previous sexual education her father had so awkwardly given to her the moment she started to become a teenager. But, then again, her father was a cheater, and a liar, and if he traded her life for power and acted against everything he once taught her, then how could she be sure that he truly believed in all the lectures he gave to her? And, if he didn't believe in them, why should she? It just didn't feel correct to follow the path made by someone who turned out to be a fraud in the end.

Angered by the doubts rose in her due to her father's instruction, Izzie grabbed a glass and filled it with water. She then, with the same urgency, broke the first bubble that contained a pill and swallowed the medication with a mouthful of water.

She heard a set of steps walking down the stairs. Hastily, she put the pills back into their box and tossed the medication inside the first drawer she saw.

By the moment Kanda's silhouette appeared by the doorframe, Izzie was already washing the glass in the sink.

"What are you doing?" The Japanese asked in a low, husky, tone, drowsy. He protected his eyes from the kitchen's light with his left hand and looked curiously at Izzie.

Izzie dried the glass with the cloth she always kept beside the sink. "I…I was thirsty"

Kanda narrowed his eyes, suspicious. He dropped his hand to his side once his eyes became accustomed to the illumination and gave a step forwards, witty eyeing the room, as if expecting something to pop out from a hidden corner.

"It's two a.m. and you were _thirsty_?"

Izzie sheepishly smiled at him. He was never easy to deceive, "Well…yes? People get hungry at night. I get thirsty"

For the look in his eyes, Izzie knew he didn't buy it, but he didn't make any further questions. Apparently, everything looked perfectly normal to him, so there was no reason to doubt the girl's affirmation. Izzie gathered all her self-control to not glance at the drawer where she knew the pills laid and stood Kanda's inquiring gaze.

There was a moment in which they just stared at each other, searching for the truth in the other's face –in Kanda's case-, or endeavoring to keep a straight countenance to convince the other of the veracity of her words –in Izzie's one-. A drop of perspiration ran down Izzie's nape and she was grateful that Kanda couldn't see that part of her body or, else, he'd notice there was something amiss.

Finally, the Japanese averted his gaze with a growl. "Go back to sleep"

Izzie obediently nodded and followed him out of the kitchen, turning the light off. Relief filled her gut as she climbed upstairs and heard Kanda shut the door of his room once he reached it. She looked at it for a second, pondering, thinking, imagining, before finally heading for hers.

Izzie's room was simple, as simple as had been the one Kanda assigned to her when they lived in the city. There was one matrimonial bed, a desk upon which rested dozens of scattered papers together with a laptop; a wardrobe and a night table. The two new, different objects, however, were the wooden door which leaded to Izzie's personal bathroom and another set of glass doors opposite her desk that opened to a modest balcony.

Usually, Izzie liked to leave the glass doors open to feel the breeze of the night leaking into her room. Silk, baby-blue curtains billowed in the wind, their hypnotic movement lulling her to sleep. Now, though, the cold, late-autumn weather made her abstain from leaving the doors open, sinking the air of the room in an oppressive stillness.

The girl slumped onto the mattress. She thought, and thought, and thought… there was something misplaced, something that bothered her, but she couldn't find out what was amiss. She crawled up to her pillow and covered herself with a blanket, since the coldness of late autumn was already falling onto her.

Finally, deciding that the sensation of wrongness was only a product of her ungrounded anxiety at consuming contraceptive pills, she drifted into an uncomfortable sleep, wondering when was going to be Kanda and hers _moment_.

* * *

><p>"C'mon, just let it go!" Matt insisted, throwing his fork onto the plate with a clatter.<p>

Angel half-heartedly sighed. She didn't even lift her eyes to meet her friend's face, fixating her gaze onto the fork instead. "I cannot…I … I …"

"You are clinging to the past, to a man who clearly…" he struggled for the words for a second, searching for a way to say whatever crossed his mind without being rude, "He moved on, Angel, and you should, too"

Angel frowned, a motion product of confusion rather than annoyance, "I don't think he moved on. The things he said…probably he was scared" the girl's countenance brightened upon considering the possibility. Her back even straightened as she looked into her friend's eyes with renewed hope, "Yes, I mean, I came here without warn or anything like that. He was so astounded by seeing me there that he freaked out and blurted the first thing that came up to his mind"

Matt gazed unbelievingly at her for a moment, quietly asking if she was serious. When the sincerity of her resolution didn't quiver a bit, Matt let out a soft sigh of surrender. He looked past his company for a moment, glancing at their surroundings. They were having dinner in the restaurant of the hotel they were staying in. The carpeted place was small and nicely illuminated, and the customers, most of them lonely businessmen, ate in silence at their tables.

"You aren't giving him up that easily, right?" the male musician questioned wearily.

"You know the answer to that," Angel sweetly smiled at him, "When have I ever given up? I just need to make up a plan to bring him back"

"But he…Angel…" Matt opened and closed his mouth like a fish searching for water, until he finally grunted, "Then, good luck"

Angel's smile widened, revealing her perfect, white teeth. "Thank you, Matt. I better go to sleep now" she declared, standing up. Matt imitated her after placing the last bite of meat inside his mouth and followed the girl to the lifters.

She pressed the button of the second floor and waited patiently beside Matt while the elevator reached its destination. It didn't take long, for the distance wasn't that big, and when the metallic doors opened, Matt and she walked nonchalantly down the hallway.

A high-pitched, clearly female laughter, followed by a series of really vulgar moans, reached them from behind one of the doors, its golden plate marked by the number 203. The sound gave Angel goose bumps, for it could only be related to one event…

Matt grimaced, "What the…can't they at least be discreet?" he angrily snapped, an expression of repulsion contorting his Hispanic features.

Angel snorted as well, but said, "That's none of our business" Nonetheless, she quickened her pace.

"Well, they are making them _our_ business. Couple of pigs" Matt barked as they rounded a corner.

The girl rolled her eyes at his intolerant behavior, "Just ignore them, they have nothing to do with us"

"Still…it is…disgusting" the boy muttered between clenched teeth. He stopped in front of his door and Angel did the same with the one at his right. They both took out from their pockets a key-card and opened the doors.

"Good night, Matt. Sleep well" Angel murmured, smirking, and stepped into her room.

"Good night, Angel" was the soft reply.

* * *

><p><em>Am I better off dead<br>Am I better off a quitter  
>They say I'm better off now<br>Than I ever was with her  
>As they take me to my local down the street<br>I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet_

_They say a few drinks will help you to forget her  
>But after one too many I know that I'm never<br>Only they can see where this is gonna end  
>But they all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense<br>__  
><em>Lavi scribbled absentmindedly on a napkin. He took another mouthful of peanuts, ignoring their rotten flavor.

The hotel's bar was solitary, empty except for the old bartender and him. That was nothing to be surprised of, since it was four a.m. in a Monday. Or Tuesday, by then.

Lavi's 'company' was sleeping in room 203 on the second floor. As hard as he tried, the singer couldn't drift into slumber like her, so he decided to go for a drink downstairs. And there he was, sipping his martini and writing random verses on a napkin.

_Her _face popped out in his mind all of a sudden. He frowned, and a bitter flavor, that had nothing to do with the rotten peanuts, filled his mouth. Her countenance was the same he saw the day in Black Order's lobby, her dark eyes oozing astonishment and pain combined. His heart turned violently inside his chest, and he drowned the sensation swallowing the remaining of liquor. He ordered another cup, and another, and another, until his surroundings became blurred and numbness clouded his mind.

"You drink with desperation" the bartender, a man in his early-sixties, noticed.

Lavi only shrugged, dismissing the comment with a mask of indifference.

"In my thirty years working here, I've come to the conclusion that the only cause of such a behavior is a woman," the man said as he poured more reddish liquid into Lavi's cup.

"She is not even a woman yet. Just a child" the singer grunted, his words slurred.

"Am I supposed to assume you are a pedophile?" the bartender mocked, but when he saw that Lavi showed no hints of smirking, he dropped his attempt to light up the atmosphere. "Child or not, she still got the weapons to attract your attention, and that makes her no different from a woman"

Lavi didn't respond, he just stared at the shallow remaining of his martini as if they were the most interesting thing he had came across with in his entire life.

"Women are the most evil creatures in the world," the man said, attracting a sideways glance from Lavi for the first time, "They make us love them, they bewitch us and take away everything we have and make us give them things we don't even own. And, then, they walk away, they vanish as if they never really existed."

Lavi let out a sardonic smile, "And that's why we should never offer anything to them, or at least not more than what we are willing to lose"

"There, my young friend, you are wrong," the bartender smiled at him, waggling his black-and-white mustache "Love is about putting everything on the line and not regretting a single thing you did even when losing it all. Whoever bewitched you and stripped you from everything you once owned only did what women do, because that's their charm. And if it hurt you and you felt as if they had knocked you down and kicked you when you were on the ground, then that means you never really loved her, because you expected something from her"

"Weren't I supposed to expect something from her? At least waiting for her to fight for me?" Lavi bitterly spat, remembering how easily Angel gave up their relationship. She didn't offer a fight, she didn't even stand against her father; she just followed as if everything they did didn't matter at all.

The man clicked his tongue. Shaking his head with sweet disapproval, like a father scolding his kids, he wisely answered, "Love is unconditional. That means it expects nothing from the other, it just desires to give, to fight, and to protect."

Lavi lowered his cup and stared at it thoughtfully. _Love is unconditional. That means it expects nothing from the other, it just desires to give, to fight, and to protect. _

It came up to his mind that they didn't fight for themselves. Lavi _tried_, he _tried_ to make her stay a year ago, but he didn't take out any other weapon he had. He didn't face his father; he didn't argue neither made a scene. He just talked to her expecting for Angel to make the decision to stay with him only after she had decided to go away. And she, she accepted their fate without complaining. She didn't put _everything_ on the line, because she kept her father from that risk.

Then, did that mean they never truly loved each other? To him, the bartender's words made perfect sense, leaving his past relationship in the shadows of nonsense.

Angel and him…what were they? They called themselves boyfriend and girlfriend and told each other how badly they loved, but did that mean their feelings were _love_? Who said that the butterflies in the gut and the fire on the skin were synonym of love? What if love was something else, something deeper which didn't manifest in such superficial ways?

They didn't know each other for a long time. She was a fan, yes, and if that was all the base of her love towards him, then were her feelings true after all? She _believed_ she loved him, and he _believed_ he loved her too, but believing something doesn't make things become magically true.

It was a puzzling thought which make all his previous mental constructions crumble. All that time he suffered because of being left heart-broken after loving so hard it hurt now was…what, meaningless? Then again, if his feelings weren't love after all, then…then did that mean that he could leave his door open for someone else to come in?

The dimension of the idea was hopeful and scary. Hopeful because it meant that there was something more than what he felt a year ago, something more beautiful and fulfilling. Scary because, if love was something bigger than what he felt, then that probably meant it was more painful if not correctly catered. And he was afraid to cast his feelings again. Hollow one-night stands were easy to handle and didn't mean he risked anything at all, and, truthfully, Lavi didn't want to risk anything more. He couldn't lose another part of himself, he wouldn't stand it.

What the bartender said had sense, more sense than anything he heard about the issue before, but that didn't make the perspective of love any more attractive. It didn't even help him soothe the pain of Angel's departure. Even though it changed the size of the past happenings to a more manageable length, that didn't mean it made his sorrow more manageable too.

He said this to the wise bartender, expecting him to provide another sensible explanation to his incessant pain.

"That's because you never fought against it," the man replied, cleaning the surface of the bar absentmindedly with a cloth, "Men who drink are men who elude their problems. That's a comfortable escape, although at the end that converts their dilemmas in a never-ending circle. I've watched the same persons run to here trying to flee from their problems. And the more addict they become, the more insignificant the problem needs to be to trigger their dependence on alcohol. If you want to make the pain go away, then face your problems like a man"

Lavi twisted his mouth. He understood what the bartender meant to say with the first lines of his lecture: it was easy to run away, to hide, and the more you did it, the more you sank in your own mess. He had proved that true when he stopped reserving alcohol just for the night and when he tried smoking weed for the first time in order to forget. The wrongness of it was clear to Lavi, Lenalee, Allen, Izzie and even Kanda had made that evident, still, the redheaded couldn't help it.

He sighed, already feeling tired with all that reasoning. The bartender have him the bill and he paid it before heading back to his hotel room, where the blonde he had met a few hours ago was still sleeping onto the bed.

Reluctant to rest near her, Lavi accommodated the cushions onto the sofa of the hotel room and drifted into a quiet slumber. Inside his trouser's pocket, he clenched between his fingers the napkin upon which he had been scribbling.

* * *

><p>AN: Hello there! I'm sorry if this was short. I wanted to update before the end of the year, and well, here I come with this! Besides, anything else I could have added surely wouldn't have fit with the general idea of the chapter, together with the fact that there's too much to digest in this few pags I wrote.

Well, first of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you have a wonderful and fulfilling 2012 and I really, REALLY hope world doesn't end because I still have material to keep on writing fanfics for another year and a half. Thank you for following me up to here, and for filling my 2011 with so much warmth and acceptance of my DGM fantasies. You are awesome, guys, never forget that! I want to say that I really appreciate each of your reviews, even when I don't reply them all, and well, whether you believe in God or no, I hope He blesses you all throughout this year and the upcoming ones.

Atra esterní ono telduin!

Pd. The song Lavi wrote is Nothing by The Script,which was requested by xXRedxXxMidnightXx.


	4. Me,you and the former you

_Attached Strings~_

_You never know, if you never try. _

_So forget your past _

_and simply be mine -One and only, Adele_

"Now, take your foot off the accelerator" Kanda's deep voice ordered.

Izzie obediently let go of the pedal little by little. The Audi continued moving forward, although the velocity noticeably decreased. From the corner of her eye, she could see Kanda looking attentively to the front from the passenger seat.

"Brake" Kanda commanded. They were approximating at a slow but yet dangerous speed to a red truck that had stopped.

Izzie intended to stop. Of course she intended to stop the car and halt their advance, but her brain cells got suddenly confused. She stepped, as a result, the wrong pedal and realized her mistake when the car abruptly sped forward.

"Oi, goblin, break!" Kanda yelled, a note of hysterics printed in his usually baritone voice. He supported himself on the dashboard, his eyes widened with something similar to fear.

Similar, of course, because Kanda was never scared.

"That's what I'm doing!" the driver shrieked, tightening her grip on the steering wheel.

The red truck grew inexorably closer and closer. Izzie's throat closed and she suddenly found it hard to breath. She felt as if her heart was about to jump out of her mouth. Her feet tried to remember which pedal was the break and which the accelerator. Unfortunately, her senses were all confused by the tons of adrenaline and terror flowing through her veins.

"BREAK, IZZOBEL, BREAK!" The bassist shouted; his face completely pale.

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

_California 3419_

That was what the truck's plates said. The information was clear and it impacted Izzie in a way she couldn't explain, attracting her to the degree that the letters and numbers were everything that her mind processed for briefs seconds.

"IZZOBEL!"

Maybe it was the way Kanda called her. Maybe it was that the numbers cleared her numb mind. Out of nowhere, without thinking and reacting in less than a second, Izzie opportunely stepped on the break. At the same time, Kanda pulled the handbreak up, so the car bounced violently forward with a screech before stopping a few centimeters behind the truck's back.

Izzie panted, her hands still holding tightly the wheel. At her side, Kanda stared blankly for some seconds at the nothingness, the fact that they had been about to die slowly downing on them.

Izzie felt her arms tremble with energy and fear. Her feet were equally quivering, and she felt unable to keep on driving after escaping death for few centimeters. Her breathe was racing as if she had run a marathon and her heart pounded fiercely inside her ribcage.

She sent Kanda a sideways glance. The bassist seemed to be more controlled than her –as always-, still, his countenance was paler than usual.

It crossed Izzie's mind that she had been about to kill him. With increasing horror, she realized that if she hadn't break just in time, they would have crashed with few probabilities of survival, since the velocity at which she was driving was dangerously high. Kanda could have died, or ended up in intensive therapy at the hospital at least. And it'd have been all her fault.

She could have killed Kanda. The realization of this arose a sudden wave of hatred against herself. If she had killed Kanda, even if she herself died, that would have been a crime that neither the world nor herself could ever forgive.

Izzie looked at him, her guilt written all over her face, "I-I am sorry" she murmured.

Kanda didn't answer. His navy eyes were fixated on the truck, vehicle that was now driving away. From their back, a series of horns and complains could be heard, but the couple didn't mind them. Soon, dozens of cars zoomed past the Audi, their conductors wearing angry expressions and some even gesturing obscenely at the Audi's driver.

Izzie tried to excuse herself, looking pleadingly at the bassist "I-I am really sorry! I don't know what…I panicked and I-"

Kanda briefly glimpsed at her. Afterwards, without a word, he set the car into parking mode and opened the door.

"Kan-Kanda?" Izzie helplessly whispered. She silently watched the musician as he walked in front of the vehicle to stop right next to the driver's door. He then opened it and, avoiding Izzie's gaze, and said, "Move"

Izzie got the message instantly. She released the seatbelt and carefully jumped to the passenger seat. Her limbs were still trembling, so she accidentally hit the dashboard with her knee. A wave of pain ran down her leg, but she stood it without saying anything. After all, it was her fault that Kanda kicked her out of the driver's position.

Soon, the car was again moving swiftly around the city, with Kanda driving it safely to the headquarters. Izzie couldn't even manage to look at him. Every time she did, a wave of guiltiness washed over her. Just the idea of him dying or agonizing because of her stupidity had her trembling from head to toes. She remembered the time he received a shot; the fear, the panic, the terrible emptiness and sense of loss… in that moment, more than a year ago now, she had been afraid of losing him, because she liked him a lot. Now, now that he had become a vital part of her life and the principal motor of it, losing him would be like losing her life as well.

No, she couldn't lose him. Whether it was death or something else the one to take him away, Izzie realized that moment that the pain Kanda's loss would cause her had to be unbearable. It was not like one year ago. The feelings of back then were light and quite not too attaching. Now, instead, after living with him, getting to know him and, basically, learning to _love _him, her feelings were exactly that, _love_. And losing someone you love… Unthinkable.

During the rest of her trip, neither Kanda nor Izzie opened their mouths. Izzie thought he was angry. Well, of course he was angry, she had been about to crash his car the first day of her driving lessons!

Izzie was surprised when, after almost two days of begging and pleading, Kanda finally acceded to teach her how to drive. Therefore, that same afternoon, while they were walking in the school's parking lot, he tossed Izzie the keys of the Audi –less expensive than the Aston Martin- and ordered her to drive to the headquarters. She was doubtful at first, but when Kanda started explaining how the car functioned, she felt surer. Kanda had parked the Audi backwards, so its front was facing the open gate of the parking lot, and, thus, it was really easy for Izzie to drive the car out of the lot. However, she drove around the carpark for a while, getting used to the movements of the steering wheel, and when Kanda indicated it, she ventured into the roads. The traffic was scarce since they spent about an hour circling the parking lot and the rush hour had already passed. With little traffic and easy obstacles to overcome, soon Izzie gained confidence. Headquarters weren't far away from the school, therefore, the distance she had to cover was rather insignificant.

And, still, long enough to risk Kanda's life.

Kanda arrived to the subterranean parking lot of Black Order and left the Audi there, this time, in the normal position. Nonetheless, he didn't show any intentions of getting off the vehicle, and Izzie was too submerged in her own world to think about leaving the car.

When the situation became awkward and she realized something was not right, she turned around to face the bassist.

Kanda was staring silently at her. He was expressionless, as always, but from the expression in his eyes Izzie could tell something troubled him. She couldn't decipher it, though, and the more she looked into his eyes, the more she kind of forgot what she was supposed to think about. The blue depths of his irises slowly swallowed the girl, sweeping all her thoughts away and leaving only a colorless void.

Swiftly, unexpectedly, he reached out and, cupping her face, fused his lips with hers. Izzie needed a few seconds to react, and by the time she did, Kanda had already deepened the kiss. In his touch, Izzie detected hints of desperation, as if he had been yearning for the contact for a lot of time. There was also anger at certain degree, but, above all, there was necessity in the way he moved his mouth against hers. It was as if he wanted to get deeper, closer, nearer, with the desperation of the thirsty and the passion only he could summon. In some way, it reminded Izzie of another time, the only time he kissed her with so many emotions flowing from her mouth to hers…

When the air started to become thin and scarce inside their lungs, Kanda let go of the contact. His hands released her face to grab her shoulders instead as he leaned his brow onto Izzie's.

"Never do that again" he heavily breathed. His voice was tense and hoarse.

"I'm sorry" Izzie apologized again with a sigh. Kanda's grip loosened and, before she could say anything else, he got off the Audi.

"Let's go" he ordered, shutting the door close and walking to the elevators.

Izzie closed her eyes and deeply inhaled and exhaled, paying attention to the movement her chest did with the action. She opened the door before the locks of the car activated and followed Kanda to the lifters.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God! I really can't believe it is you!" Lenalee exclaimed excitedly, looking at Angel with a glint of genuine happiness in her eyes. "I…oh my God, Angel!" For the umpteenth time since Lenalee knocked 'Nana's' door and Angel opened it, the Chinese embraced the poor singer in a tight hug.<p>

"Indeed, this is surprising" Allen consented with a broad smile. He sank in one of Innocence's sofas leisurely, "And you even brought a friend along" he added, sending Matt a welcoming sideways glance.

"Yes, Matt helped me a lot in the past months" Angel humbly said. She looked timidly at her friend once, and felt reassured when he smiled warmly at her. Matt…always so cheerful and supportive. Angel didn't know what she would have done if Matt hadn't been there the whole time.

A few moments before, Angel and Matt were surprised by a knock while they unpacked their stuff in their brand new section Black Order assigned for them. When Angel opened the door, there was a brief moment of stunned silence, followed by a loud scream of excitement, exclamations of surprise and tears of joy. Lenalee Lee, Innocence's singer and guitarist, jumped towards Angel to embrace her with her slim arms. Allen, who had come along with her, just gawked like a fish out of the water, and then happily grinned. After that surprising revelation and some unanswered questions, Lenalee took Angel and Matt to the Innocence's rooms without even asking.

"I can imagine" Lenalee replied thoughtfully, eyeing Matt, and then exclaimed "Oh I still can't believe you are Nana!"

"Well, I'm Nana" Angel bashfully smiled.

"She is Nana" Matt grinned, "And I am her loyal escort" he said, placing himself besides said girl, making a militar greeting.

Allen chuckled amusingly upon seeing them, and changed position on his seat. Lenalee sent Matt a suspicious gaze, but said nothing and instead she let herself fall onto a chair near their table.

Angel rolled her eyes, "Yes, at least until he gets a contract of his own"

"Hey, I already told you I'm fine like this! I don't want a contract. Besides, I'm applying for college on August. My sabbatical year is gone" Matt explained with a sigh. He slumped beside Allen in the loveseat while Angel stood awkwardly next to the door.

"Where are you planning to go?" Allen conversationally inquired. He shifted so he could be facing Matt more comfortably.

"I can't decide" Matt responded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. A faint shadow of beard could be seen covering his sharp jaw line, "I'm between Texas and Colorado"

"Texas?" Lenalee inquired, half curious, half indifferent.

Matt nodded, "My family lives there, but I'm not that keen on going back. I think I prefer it here. The weather is better"

Angel's gaze flickered continuously between Matt, Allen, Lenalee and the door. She shifted her feet, uncomfortable, aware that in any moment, Lavi could cross the door and find her there. Even though she had already decided that his reaction of the other day was a product of his surprise and astonishment, the remembrance hurt her like anything did before. It was like a pincer smashing her heart mercilessly. The expression upon his face, the ice in his eyes…she never saw him like that, not even when he faced the Noah.

She was decided to get him back. Still, the nervousness it caused her contrasted terribly with her determination. She didn't know how he'd react upon meeting again, and she realized that what scared her the most was this same unpredictability. Not being able to foresee what was going to happen made her feel anxious and uneasy.

What if Lavi entered and shouted at her? What if he asked her to leave? What if he… no, she couldn't think like that. She was not a pessimist, and she reminded herself that pessimistic thought brought negative results. What she needed was to remain positive and strong.

Lavi missed her. Lavi said he loved her, and when someone loves another person, that feeling doesn't fade away just in a year. It never fades. She clung to that hope, she needed to cling to it because, if not, then all her plans were destined to failure.

However, she still couldn't shake her uneasiness away. She looked at Lenalee as if pleading for some encouraging words, but all she found was the singer's inquiring gaze. She looked at Matt, but the boy was chatting amiably with Allen, apparently oblivious to her distress.

"Don't you want to sit, Angel?" Lenalee questioned, pointing towards a couch nearby.

Angel shook her head. Then, changing her opinion, she sat down just to stand up again when she remembered Lavi used to like that seat a lot. She paced back and forth, fidgeting with her fingers, unable to stay still.

The Chinese singer, noticing her behavior, approached the girl and softly murmured, "Lavi won't be arriving any time soon, if that's why you are so nervous"

Angel's shoulders relaxed immediately upon hearing those words, and she inquired, "How do you know?"

"Because," here, Lenalee made a pause and twisted her mouth, as if thinking on something disgusting, "he usually goes for a drink before coming here"

"A drink? You mean, like alcohol?" Angel alarmed, wide-eyed. She stared at Lenalee's serious countenance, waiting for an answer.

The Chinese nodded, "He has been….kind of lost. Broken, I shall say. He is not right"

Angel felt awed. She had no idea how bad the news could be, but judging for Lenalee's dreadful expression, the situation couldn't be less than that: dreadful. At first, she didn't want to believe it. Lavi was never an alcoholic. He drank, yes, but seldom, not every day.

"How bad is it? Since when has he been doing it?" Angel asked worriedly, staring at Lenalee like an abandoned puppy searching desperately for answers.

The Chinese girl gazed cryptically at Angel for the longest seconds, measuring her words and pondering the impact the answers Angel begged for could have. Finally, with a sigh, Lenalee responded, "It's been a while. He…" she paused for a moment and looked at Angel. Suddenly, the strangest look invaded her face; a look of longing and hope at the same time. Seizing Angel's hands and squeezing them between hers, Lenalee exclaimed, "You can help him! You need to get him back!"

"Me?" Angel gave a step backwards, startled by Lenalee's intense look, "Why…why do you think…"

"Because you are the one who can get him back!" The Chinese blurted. Her eyes were starting to get glossy with fresh tears and the pain Angel could see in them, the kind of pain that only watching a friend in trouble can produce, was genuinely deep.

Angel didn't know what to say. She barely knew what was going on, since the only time she saw Lavi was that day at the lobby. Other than that, their encounters were nonexistent. She went to his grandfather's house, just to realize each time that no one was there. His grandfather was a busy person, she knew, always collecting and decoding ancient runes, so it wouldn't surprise her if, in the two occasions she went in search of Lavi, the old man deliberatively ignored the knock.

Thus, from Lavi she had seen nothing else but that last, frosty expression. Nobody told her anything, since she didn't bother contacting the rest of the crew; not that she knew how. Once she visited Kanda's flat, just to find it occupied by unknown inhabitants. So, up to that day, she had zero knowledge of her old friends' and ex-boyfriend's life.

Knowing the truth now didn't satisfy her, however. There was something in Lenalee's words and pleading look that tormented her. It was like being right in the eye of a horror movie that was just about to start, and which principal victim seemed to be Lavi.

She felt terrible upon hearing those notifications from Lenalee's mouth. She knew the Chinese girl couldn't lie, and when she sent Allen a sideways glance, his serious countenance confirmed everything Lenalee said.

Heaving a sigh, Angel briefly smiled and bowed, "I'll do whatever is in my hands. After all, I came back for Lavi and for you" she affirmed.

Lenalee's anguished expression softened a bit, "Thank you. It's not that bad, we think. I think Lavi just needs something or someone to set him free of his own demons. The problem is that he is reluctant to accept help"

"Lavi was never reluctant to accept help" Angel murmured, memories of their past together flashing through her mind.

"He is not the same you met, Angel" Allen stated.

"He cannot have changed that much…" Even though she wanted to sound sure, there was a tone of doubtfulness in her words.

"I'm afraid you can be surprised" Lenalee wearily said. She walked into their small kitchen, if they could call it so, and opened the fridge. "Want something to drink?"

Angel declined the offer, while Matt accepted a can of Coke.

The younger singer sat down on one of the desk's chairs. She stared at her feet, thinking about Lavi and the things she had just heard. How much could he have changed? She didn't think a person could completely transform within a year the way Allen and Lenalee made it appear. And Lavi…not, Lavi could not be that kind of person to get drunk and hurt his friends. Perhaps he was going through one of those rebellious stages of life. Perhaps he just wanted to experiment. Why he suddenly decided to do so, she couldn't tell, but she was determined to discover it. If anything, Lenalee's petition to help Lavi only helped Angel convince herself that she made the right decision by coming back.

They chatted about informal stuff. Lenalee insisted that Angel saved her narration of how she became a singer for when Izzie and Kanda arrived. Angel wasn't quite sure if that was a wise decision, but she didn't complain. She thought that, by then, Izzie may have realized that it was ridiculous to accuse her for the failed kidnapping and the series of events that followed after they attended Innocence's concert in Atlanta.

How wrong she was.

Not too much time passed until the door of the room opened. In strode Kanda, with a rare expressionless countenance –usually, he was angry or annoyed-. Behind him, Izzie walked in, slightly pale and serious, although being serious was a characteristic she recently started to share with Kanda.

They both stopped at the door, looking at the two newcomers speechlessly.

Izzie was radically different from what Angel recalled. Her hair was short now, with a side longer than the other. As for her outfit, it was classy, as always, conformed by a red dress with black straps running down the sides, black tights and boots. Beside her, Kanda looked the same as ever, with his black shirt and denim trousers.

Angel had to admit it: they looked good together. Angel wondered if they were still dating, and with the same rapidity with which the question came to her mind, the answer equally appeared. Of course they were together. If not, why would they arrive together?

She didn't realized how the room's temperature had lowered until Kanda clicked his tongue. That same sound seemed to bring Izzie back from her thoughts, for the girl blinked rapidly and averted her eyes from Angel.

"I'll go with Miranda" she muttered between clenched teeth. Accommodating her purse on her shoulder, she turned around to leave.

"But, see who's here!" Lenalee so naively said, "Is Angel! And Matt, her-"

"I don't care" Izzie harshly interrupted in a way that made Angel think of Kanda. Without dedicating Angel a second glance, Izzie walked out of the room and slammed the door close.

Alright, maybe Izzie didn't change her mind, Angel thought disappointedly. Jumping off the seat, not thinking too much of what she was doing, Angel ran towards the door and swung it open before precipitating to the corridor beyond. There, she saw Izzie walking stoically away.

"Wait! Izzie!" Angel called, but her friend utterly ignored her. Growling under her breathe, Angel sprinted towards Izzie and stopped right in front of her, blocking her way, "Would you mind waiting?" Angel gasped.

"I don't have time" Izzie tried to walk past the girl, but Angel stubbornly blocked her way.

"I'm sure you have five seconds" the female singer insisted.

Izzie frowned. Sending Angel a withering look she now seemed to master, the girl cruelly deadpanned, "I have no time for traitors, Angel"

Angel gave a step back, hit by the unexpected blow, "So you still believe it"

Izzie raised her eyebrow, "Give me a reason not to do so"

"That I am _your friend!_ I'd never do something like that to you!"

"Friendship is a subjective term. Now, if you excuse me-"

"No" Angel stepped again in Izzie's way. She fixated her eyes on her old friend, and realized a little too late that she actually had nothing to say. Of course she wanted to deny everything Leverrier said that night, but the words never attended Angel's mouth. She just stood there, looking at her friend right in the eye, hoping that in that way she could see the sincerity of her feelings.

Unfortunately, Izzie wasn't that lenient. She looked frostily at her ex-best friend, blaming her in silence for the misfortunes of the past.

"Izzie, I don't know why you believe it. I don't know what makes you believe it, but I swear to you, I'd never do something that can hurt you. Never!"

"Do you think I still can believe in words?" Izzie dryly hissed, "I saw what happened. I _lived_ it. I told you I didn't want to go to that concert, yet, you insisted in dragging me-"

"I just wanted to go with you! Is there something wrong with wanting to share a concert with a friend?"

"Yes, if that implies dragging me to the mouth of the wolf!"

"I never intended to do that! I didn't know anything about their plans, Izzie!"

"Oh, so don't tell me now that you swallowed the fact that your father-"

"He is not my father"

"-miraculously let you go as long as you dragged me along?" Izzie blurted. In her eyes, Angel could see the fire of anger and disappointment; of the terrible hatred product of an unexpected –and, in this case, nonexistent- betrayal. Angel perceived she was not listening. Izzie was not listening to a single thing she said! Would she believe her even if she brought a mountain of evidence that proved her innocence?

"Yes, I swallowed it" Angel admitted, clenching her hands into fists. How stupid she had been for believing all the things Leverrier said. How stupid she had been for trusting him. But she was not making the same mistake again, not that she could do now that she was free and out of his reach. "But when I knew the truth…I ran away" she confessed.

She could feel Izzie's eyes fixing on her, but didn't find the courage to lift her gaze and meet the girl's one. She was afraid that the pain contained behind her dark eyes could ooze. Instead, she looked past Izzie's shoulders and waited patiently for her response, hoping that this confession would soften her friend's heart.

Sadly, the world doesn't function with such simplicity.

"Yeah, just after you had accomplished your mission" Izzie mumbled. Pushing Angel apart with a brusque movement of her shoulder, Izzie walked away with long, proud strides.

Angel watched her stray in stunned silence. How could she…how could Izzie be that cold-hearted? Since when was she that pigheaded? That closed?

It hurt her to know she didn't believe her. All that time, she had hoped that Izzie might have opened her eyes to the reality, and now she just realized that she became even more blinded, and the worst part was that it was willingly. Deep inside, Angel knew, since the moment she stepped in front of her, that Izzie was not listening. Her sixth sense, a lot more developed now than before, warned her, but she decided to give it a try.

Now, instead of giving a step forward, Angel felt as if she had given two backwards. Izzie didn't believe her and probably now she hated her more for coming back. Would it have been better if she had never appeared around?

No, of course not. This was just their first encounter and the first encounter, as she had proved, was always the hardest one. Now that she was past those first strikes, things might go downhill and flow naturally.

Yes. Maybe there'll be some obstacles, but she was pretty confident she'd be able to overcome them.

She walked back to Innocence's rooms, where Matt and the others were still waiting. Perhaps if she talked to Kanda and convinced him to side with her, they could both make Izzie listen reasons.

"I don't give a fuck about her, Lenalee"

Angel froze at the door, her hand a few inches away from the doorknob.

The voice that said those harsh words…it sounded like him…but it couldn't be him, could it?

No, of course not. Then, if that was not him, why couldn't she open the door?

"But she- she is here! Don't tell me you didn't miss her" a female voice, Lenalee, of course, replied.

"There's nothing to miss in that bitch"

"HEY! Don't talk about her like that!" Matt. That was him for sure. There was a dry 'thump', a pant and the squeak of a chair being dragged across the white linoleum.

"See?" the male who couldn't be Lavi said, "She's already got a boyfriend to defend her"

Something within her moved Angel without letting her think properly. The girl opened the door just enough for her to enter the room and mindlessly spoke, "He is not my boyfriend"

The scene would have made her pale if she hadn't been already colorless. Lavi was standing near the table, leaning on a chair. In front of him, Matt threatened the redheaded with a fist held high. Allen, Kanda and Lenalee were all surrounding the pair of contenders, ready to stop the brewing fight.

For a moment, Lavi was thunderstruck. However, soon his dumbfounded expression changed for a scowl. He averted his gaze from Angel, as if she was something unpleasant to see, and strode into the tiny, economic kitchen that only consisted of a fridge, counters and a microwave.

Angel sighed and, trembling but determined, followed Lavi into the kitchen. She stood by the threshold and looked at him.

"What's wrong with you?" she bluntly asked. Although simply formulated, the question guarded more complexity. What was wrong with him? Why was he so rude? Why couldn't he receive her with a smile, like before? Why was he taking a beer out of the fridge when he had just drunk? What was going on inside his head? In what was he thinking? What was it that made him change his behavior so dramatically?

Lavi opened the can of beer and sipped it. "I don't have to answer your questions"

Angel looked at her feet, "Well, you don't have to, but it'd be nice if you did" she innocently said.

The redhead didn't respond. He leaned on the counter and emptied his beer in three, long gulps. He then threw it into the trash bin nonchalantly. "Why should I be nice towards you?"

"Because that's what Lavi would do" Angel folded her arms and sent Lavi a saddened gaze. The male singer stood it for a pair of seconds, seconds in which they both looked into each other's eyes trying to see, to understand, to comprehend what was happening; seconds in which Angel felt pity for Lavi because in his eyes there was absolutely _nothing_. There was no love, and that hurt, but neither there was resentment nor hatred, like in Izzie's case. Looking into his eye, green like the summer's grass, was like looking into the nothingness, and that was even scarier than looking into the purest hatred.

Or maybe it was that she didn't recognize him. Maybe the reason that she couldn't see anything was because she didn't know what she was looking at. In all aspects, even though she had just treated him a couple of times, Lavi had changed radically into this strange human being.

"I'm not that Lavi, Angel" he deadpanned.

"I can see" the girl dryly said, "But, why?"

No answer. For a whole minute, the room was submerged in complete silence. Angel even wondered if the rest of Innocence's crew and Matt were still there. She didn't turn around to see, since her eyes were permanently fixated on Lavi.

"Because I don't want to be that Lavi" the singer admitted after a while. His expression returned to the hard one, and Angel realized a little too late that he had stopped frowning for a while. "Now, leave"

Angel obeyed, not knowing what else she was supposed to do. But before she stepped out of the kitchen, she wearily sighed, "You and Izzie are really…different, aren't you?"

"We are your creations" Lavi walked towards Angel and rudely pushed her aside in his way out. "Don't be so surprised"

That left Angel wordless and frozen. That…that…was he blaming her for the actual turn of things?

"_Yes, if that implies dragging me to the mouth of the wolf!"_

"_We are your creations"_

"Lavi! How can you say such things?" there was a female voice complaining. Angel didn't bother identifying it, enclosing herself in her own train of thoughts and emotions.

Why did she believe it? She knew that none of the things that happened a year ago were her fault, then, what was this feeling of guilt? What was this sensation of asphyxia?

"Just saying the truth" Lavi said.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! ANGEL ISN'T RESPONSIBLE OF YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS!" Matt yelled. Ah, Matt, always standing up for her… Perhaps because she hadn't still carried him problems…

"Boy, you are kind of bothersome, why don't you take your petty girlfriend and leave us alone? We are busy right now" Lavi contemptuously retorted.

"He is not my boyfriend" Angel mumbled. Lifting her eyes with the self-confidence she didn't possess, Angel looked at Lavi and steadily said, "How can you think I can start a new relationship when I never got over you?"

Her face felt suddenly wet, and she realized she was crying. It had been a while since she last cried. Was she becoming weak? Holding herself together, determined that this wouldn't bring her down, she took a deep breath and said, "I'll be leaving now. What about tea at six, Lenalee?" she proposed, smiling towards the Chinese singer, pretending it didn't hurt; pretending she wasn't guilty...

Lenalee looked at her for a second, slightly confused, but then nodded and smiled back, "I'll see you at the cafeteria. Upstairs, you remember, right?"

Angel nodded too, "Yes, of course I remember"

* * *

><p>"Take it from here to the house" Kanda said, turning the engine off. The sun was setting at their backs, its orange beams lightening the walls of the suburb's first houses. There was no traffic, and just a few kids played on the sidewalks in front of their parents' homes. Kanda and Izzie's house was just a few blocks away.<p>

"Really?" Izzie looked inquiringly at Kanda.

"Che, stop asking stupid questions and do it" the bassist snarled before getting off the car. Izzie observed him as he approached the passenger's seat, and jumped to Kanda's former place. She accommodated the seat to get nearer the pedals and moved the mirrors to a more comfortable position the way Kanda taught her hours before.

She took a deep breath and waited for Kanda to fasten his seatbelt up.

"Start the engine" the Japanese growled. Ignoring the usual harshness in his tone, Izzie turned the key in its hole and waited for the car's quiet roam.

"Drive" Kanda ordered, this time a bit gentler.

Izzie moved the lever next to the letter 'D' and softly, very softly, stepped on the accelerator.

"Oi, I didn't tell you to move!"

"Sshh" Izzie annoyingly hissed. She started to turn the wheel in direction to the street's middle line.

"There's a car coming. Break"

Izzie looked through the rearview mirror to confirm Kanda's words. Effectively, a Volkswagen was approaching in their direction, but it was still too far away. Izzie continued accelerating.

"I can do this before he-"

"Oi, goblin, stop!"

"Don't distract me! And don't call me by that stupid nickname" The girl annoyingly muttered. Stubbornly, she pulled off onto the road and the screech of tires was heard. Looking through the mirror again, she realized that the Volkswagen had to make an abrupt stop so it didn't crash against the Audi.

"I told you to wait!"

"Shut up, Kanda, I'm driving!"

Kanda scoffed. Izzie didn't respond this time, focused as she was on the difficult task of driving without killing anyone. She looked at the speedometer's needle and to the road again.

"Lower the velocity"

"I'm at 30 per hour" Izzie growled. After the incident, or semi-incident, that day, driving tensed her up. She tried to keep an eye on everything: the mirrors, the wheel, the pedals, the road, the houses… she was nervous and anxious, but tried to hold herself together so they could arrive home safely. There were no pedestrians or cars, and, yet, danger seemed to be right in front of them.

"Turn signal to the left" Kanda said, "And lower the velocity"

With a grunt, Izzie obeyed. However, she got a hard time looking for the stupid turn signal without ungluing her eyes from the windscreen. She lost command of the wheel for a second, and the car diverted to the left.

Opportunely, Kanda grabbed the steering wheel and straightened the direction of the car. By the time Izzie programmed the signal, they were already past the corner.

"Oi, we live over there, goblin! Are you retarded or what?" Kanda complained.

"Aish, I know where we live, BaKanda!" Izzie angrily snapped. Really, couldn't he be kinder? She was all stressed out and Kanda didn't help without all his shouting and insults.

"How did you call me?" Kanda muttered menacingly. However, Izzie didn't get intimidated by the darkness oozing through his voice.

"_How did you call me?"_ she poorly mimicked "Can't you just shut up? I'm trying to…Oh my God, I missed another block!"

"They were _three fucking blocks._ Useless woman"

"Don't talk to me like that! Oh, now, the turn signal was…"Izzie looked again for the small lever and this time she found it without losing control of the car. Nonetheless, the arrow pointed to the right instead of the left.

"It is wrong" Kanda pointed out.

"I don't care, I'm turning now" Izzie focused on the next corner, and let go of the accelerator to slowly turn.

"Are you fucking retarded or what? You can cause an accident by-"

"Shut up, BaKanda! I'm driving!"

Izzie drove in straight line to the end of the block, and then gave another sharp turn to the left. The velocity was relatively high, since she forgot to release the accelerator, and the tires screeched unpleasantly.

"OI, GOBLIN, I TOLD YOU TO LOWER FUCKING THE VELOCITY!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

"THEN DO IT RIGHT!"

Izzie felt like strangling Kanda with her own two hands. Seriously, why did he have to be so freaking annoying? Why couldn't he just shut up? Her grip on the steering wheel tightened and she missed their house for some meters. Just when Kanda was opening his mouth to bitch about it, Izzie changed for the reverse and stepped on the accelerator.

The car bounced backwards with a vertiginous velocity.

"GOBLIN!"

"AH, STUPID CAR!" This time, Izzie stepped on the break and stopped the car another meters away from their house. She changed to drive and carefully pulled off into their principal entrance. Kanda pressed the button above their heads that activated the automatic doors of the garage and told Izzie to park over there. Afterwards, he got off the car and opened the driver's door.

"Move" he dryly spat.

"What? Don't you think I'm capable of getting the car inside there?" Izzie retaliated, unmoving.

"I _know_ you aren't capable" Kanda said snappishly, "Now, move"

"You don't trust me"

"Izzobel…"

"FINE!" Izzie jumped off the car and slammed the door closed, "I'll go inside"

"Meanwhile, prepare dinner" the Japanese voiced out, so Izzie could hear him across their frontal yard.

Really? I mean, REALLY! After shouting at her like that?

Izzie sent him a withering look and opened their door, "Prepare dinner by yourself, Mr. I-can-do-everything-better!" she yelled and hurried into the house, purposely locking the door. Alright, Kanda had a key too, but at least she needed to make it clear that he and his stupid, short-tempered personality weren't welcome.

* * *

><p>That was the first cold night of the year.<p>

Kanda closed his windows and took a blanket out of the wardrobe. The wind whistled against the four walls like an ancient lullaby. Accompanied with the high-pitched sound, there was a soft sob. Kanda looked at the alarm clock. Its red numbers prayed 12 a.m. Izzie had been crying for an hour or so. He slept hearing it, and by the time the wind woke him up he thought she had fallen asleep too. Evidently, she hadn't.

It was not his fault, he knew. Of course it was not, why was he even considering it? They'd fought a lot of times before, and none of them made Izzie cry. Then, why was he feeling so…anxious this time?

Bullshit. The girl could weep everything she wanted. He had heard her a couple of times before, surely it had something to do with her parents or something like that.

Stupid, weak goblin. She needed to learn how to be stronger.

The next thing that woke him up was a dry thump. He opened his eyes and turned in the door's direction, from which the knock came.

"Err…Kanda?" a female voice called from the door as this quietly opened. The white light of the hallway leaked into his room, blinding Kanda for a couple of seconds.

"What?" he drowsily asked, sitting on the bed to look at her.

Izzie stood by the doorframe awkwardly. She was wearing pink pants and a loose, long sleeved shirt. Her hair was shaggy and her voice, broken. Kanda couldn't see her face, but he guessed that her eyes were probably puffy and her cheeks, humid.

"Can I…can I sleep here?" Izzie bashfully mumbled, "I…I can't sleep over there. You know, memories and…nightmares" she weakly explained.

Kanda looked at her. Certainly, this was an unusual request on her behalf. The girl was rather reserved when it came to invading each other's personal spaces. During the year they had been living together, she never asked for something like this. She must be feeling really bad…

Kanda growled an affirmation and submerged underneath the blankets again, giving his back to the girl. There was a sigh of relief and the darkness embraced the room once Izzie closed the door.

He felt the mattress sink under her weight, followed by the sound of fabric shifting.

Then, something warm pressed against his back. Kanda stayed still, realizing what Izzie was doing. She folded an arm around his shoulder and one of her legs tangled with his. Her warm breathe brushed his nape gently.

They were like that for a whole, silent minute. For some stupid, cheesy and dumb reason, Kanda's heart hit his ribs violently, and warmness spread from his stomach to the rest of his body.

After a while, Izzie was the one to talk, "I'm sorry" she whispered next to Kanda's ear, "For losing my temper and…not making dinner. I'm…"

"'s okay" Kanda murmured back. His eyelids felt heavier as he grew more comfortable. The air didn't seem so cold now, and the atmosphere was rather cozy. He didn't even feel the need to give harsh retorts.

"I love you"

Now, that really seemed to tear his heart out of his ribcage. Kanda didn't answer, as always, preferring instead to shake her limbs off him and turn around. He searched underneath the sheets for her waist and pulled her closer. Her head was placed right under his chin and the scent of wood soon filled his nose.

"I know" He whispered, half asleep. The last thing he felt before sinking into oblivion was Izzie's relaxed breathing and her hands finding a comfortable position upon his chest.

Now, November wasn't that cold. Who cared if they fought now and then? Who cared if Izzie got upset because Angel appeared, bringing back old, forgotten ghosts? As long as they were together, the world wasn't such a shitty place.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the long wait! I went through this HUGE writer's block, but I finally overcame it and...here it is! Hope you enjoyed it. I apologize for any grammar, spelling, or other kind of mistakes. I still haven't asked my beta-reader if I can abuse of her kindness and ask her to proof-read this fanfic too. hehe...I guess I'll do it...when I respond all my PMs :D

Tomorrow Valentine's day! I don't believe in it, yet, I gotta say I do enjoy all the amount of chocolate this date brings. ;)

Well, what about giving me a Valentine's gift and leave a review? eh eh eh? :D

ooh some points to explain:

1. Lavi is afraid of his own feelings, closed and stubborn.

2. Angel is waaaay stronger and more determined than before. Her story will be revealed in some further chapter, not yet ;) Hey, she also changed during that year!

3. Izzie goes to sleep with Kanda because Angel's sudden appearance brought some of her ghosts back. She remembered clearer than before all the happenings related to her father and the elections. Kanda is her support, her principal column and pile, and, thus, the first person to whom she runs when she feels down and sad. No, no sex in this chapter ;) Yes, she is taking the pills, but that doesn't mean we have to rush them, right?

4. I made Izzie and Kanda fight because, c'mon, they are not the perfect couple and they can be kind of explosive sometimes, fighting over small and petty things like driving. Okay, I can also get mad while driving, but still. Oh, by the way, I've never driven an automatic car before, I just know how the standard model works, so I'm sorry if the description of the car's functioning wasn't accurate. If not, I apologize sincerely.

I think that's all. I really want to sleep right now. Have a nice day and don't forget to click this button right here...

Atra esterní ono telduin!


	5. Wait

_Attached Strings~_

_So clear  
>Like the diamond in your ring<br>Cut to mirror your intentions  
>Oversized and overwhelmed<br>The shine of which has caught my eye- Vindicated, Dashboard Confessional_

The first thing Izzie noticed in the morning was the Armani scent that penetrated deep in her nose.

She nuzzled the soft pillow, her brain slowly recording the weirdness of the situation. Izzie rolled and tried to find a more comfortable position, pulling the covers with her. There was a soft growl and a quiet snore and, for some reason, none of those things resulted amiss to her. It was like they belonged there as much as the Armani cologne. She vaguely remembered the fact that it was Saturday, and, thus, there was no need to wake up early. Her drowsiness soon turned again into slumber.

The next thing that woke her up was the sound of water running. This time, Izzie opened her eyes and felt disoriented when the thing she faced was a wooden desk below a window instead of her balcony.

She abruptly sat up and analyzed the room. The closet was black and plain, with no intricate patterns in the wood like hers. Besides the closet, a door leaded to the bathroom, from where the sound of water running came. There was a set of swords with no blade hanging from the opposite wall; a night table with a Japanese-style lamp on it; a dark carpet onto the wooden floor and two windows covered with blinds, instead of the cloth curtains Izzie usually preferred.

Kanda's room.

Now it made sense, of course. In a thunder, flashbacks of last night attended Izzie's mind. She sighed with certain relief and lay down again, enjoying the fact that the covers and the pillow cases still smelled like Kanda. She recognized, amongst the Armani fresh scent, another smell, specific, unique and unmistakable that only Kanda possessed and that she irremediably related to the musician. It was magical, a combination between pine, liquor and wet soil and something totally different. Something that, for Izzie, wasn't from this world at all.

She continued looking around leisurely. Izzie had never slept in Kanda's room before. The only time that she remembered waking up in a shared bed was at the hospital, at a time that now seemed so far away, and not even that unforgettable moment was pleasant at all. The nervousness, astonishment and physical pain of it erased any traces of pleasure.

This time, however, it was totally different. There was no other sound besides the shower and her own breathing. Izzie sat up and shuddered when the covers slid from her shoulders to her lap. The air was cold and still. Evidently, winter was drawing closer and closer.

Izzie was rather unsurprised to find out how neat Kanda's room actually was. She sometimes suspected he was a clean-freak and that certainly made her life with him a lot easier. Despite their different tastes when it came to decoration, tidiness was something they never argued about.

In fact, they rarely argued about things related to the household. Aside from the fact that Kanda hadn't fixed the dishwasher and that he seemed to have decided to leave the kitchen to Izzie alone in spite of her seldom complains, their life together was peaceful and quiet. After some problems during the first months due to Kanda's short temper and Izzie's tendency to challenge him, they learned to deal with each other during their worst moods and live quietly.

Izzie sometimes thought theirs was an exemplary relationship. She saw couples at school, street or even at Black Order arguing in public, shouting and sometimes even splitting up in front of everyone. She thought that their dysfunction was a consequence of their lack of empathy and communication. Okay, Kanda was not a communicative person, neither she, but there were signals that alerted her when something was bothering him or when he was in a nice mood –as nice as it could be in him- and vice versa. It was just a matter of observation and mutual understanding.

She couldn't deny it: she was happy. Angel could come with whatever shit she wanted to come and even her own father could reappear and that wouldn't change anything in her life, because her life was perfect. Last night's crying was just a moment of weakness, a minimal rupture in the equilibrium of her reality, and a rupture was something easy to fix and that, as a matter of fact, was already fixed. It no longer hurt. It had been replaced by the quiet glee of realizing how perfect everything was.

The door of the bathroom swung open and out of it walked Kanda.

He was covered just with a towel attached to his waist, leaving exposed his perfectly chiseled thorax. His long hair fell past his shoulders, dripping.

His eyes fixated on Izzie and huffed, "What are you smiling at?" he said as he dried his hair with a smaller towel.

Izzie felt her breathe escaping from her lungs upon such a glorious scene. For a moment, her eyes acquired self-will and wandered around Kanda's body before she could get a hold of them and avert her gaze.

Izzie stared at the blankets and sheepishly answered, still wearing a faint smile on her face, "I was just…thinking" She eyed Kanda briefly.

She couldn't hear him, but she felt Kanda approaching, "Thinking about what?"

The natural, special scent of his skin reached Izzie's nose as he drew closer. She took a deep breath in an endeavor to subjugate the butterflies in her stomach. Gathering all her will, she lifted her eyes shyly and met Kanda's gaze. He stared back with a confused expression on his face as he tried to decipher Izzie's weird behavior.

There weren't frequent the situations in which Kanda looked perplexed or confused. For a moment, Izzie thought it was kind of cute. Widening her smile, she said, "Us"

Kanda raised an eyebrow, "Us?" He was just one step besides the messy bed, drying his hair.

Izzie exerted herself to be a little bit braver. Not wanting to screw the intimacy of the moment with second, unnecessary thoughts, she crawled to Kanda's direction and knelt in front of him, so his face was just in front of hers.

Rapidly, like the touch of a butterfly, she kissed him in the lips. "I-I am happy"

Their eyes only met for a sparkling second. Then, Kanda caressed Izzie's nape sending chills all through her body. Gently, he pulled her closer and kissed her slowly.

Izzie just recalled a handful of moments in which he had kissed her in that tender way. It made her guts twist delightfully and blacked out every thought in her mind. Literally, her knees weakened and she had to hold on to Kanda's neck, intertwining her fingers with his damp hair.

Kanda pushed her gently onto the bed, letting go of her mouth to catch their breaths. He climbed onto her and started kissing her lips again, this time a little bit more passionate. With one of his hands, he trailed the way down her left arm up to her waist, where he started tracing random patterns with delicacy.

Izzie just kissed him back sweetly, nibbling his lower lip at times. Her hands explored his strong shoulders and ran down his pectorals before clinging again around his neck.

Drops of cold water fell onto Izzie's body as Kanda's hair spread across his back. He gnawed her earlobe kindly and then sucked the spot below it, obtaining a surprised squeak from Izzie.

Slowly, as he ran through her neck with his mouth, he leaked one of his hands underneath her blouse.

Izzie closed her eyes and continued caressing Kanda's shoulders and breastbone. Meanwhile, the musician kissed that point right below her chin where he knew…

The girl sighed and clung with a bit more strength to Kanda. Her mind was working so slowly, with all her thoughts so separated the one from the other that it took her a lot of time to realize how far things were starting to go. By the time she grasped this, another revelation, another alerting light, fired up in the back of her mind as she felt Kanda's hands moving up her abdomen.

She wore no underwear to sleep.

A second too late. A second too late. The contact was so intimate, so personal and so unexpected…it scared her…her heart raced at a pace she didn't think possible before and her blood started pounding right behind her ears. In one motion, Izzie's hand flew to her chest where she pressed the blouse against her breasts; as if Kanda's hand wasn't _there_ already.

"Stop" she gasped, startled, confused, flustered. It downed on her that he was almost _naked_.

Kanda stared down at her, his hand still…still…_there, _even though Izzie had her hand onto his.

Izzie pushed him and tried to sit up. For a moment, Kanda resisted, and then reluctantly let her go. He sat on the border of the bed whilst Izzie crossed her legs at the center of the mattress, her breathing coming in and out at an unnatural speed.

"I'm sorry" she hastily apologized, "I-I-I'm sorry. I really want _it_. I really- " she tried to organize her thoughts and say something coherent, but everything in her mind was messed and she just got stuck with words.

"Then, why did you push me?" Kanda questioned warily, narrowing his eyes with suspicion.

Izzie tried to find an answer. Why did she push him? If she really wanted this…Because she wanted this….why? She was taking the pills, wasn't she? Then why…why couldn't she just let Kanda finish what they always started?

"I don't know" she mumbled, "I-I'm so sorry. I don't know. If I knew maybe I would…but I don't know and I…I'm trying. Is just that…maybe…you…I…" she frenetically looked for a reason, for words, for anything that could excuse her behavior. Nothing came. Absolutely nothing. There was just an eternal blankness in her mind and the tickling sensation that still extended from her breast to the rest of her body.

"You're scared" Kanda pointed out after minutes of tense silence. Izzie looked up at him apologetically, like a chastised child.

Was she? Was she scared? "How can I be scared of you?" Izzie murmured.

"Not of me" the musician said. He locked gazes with Izzie and seemed to see right through her soul. It required all her self-control to not avert her eyes, "You are scared of…the consequences"

"No. Not anymore. I-" Izzie was about to say 'I'm taking the contraceptive pill' but something stopped her tongue. Would it be correct to tell Kanda? What if he started pressing her even more once he owned that information?

Kanda waited in silence for the rest of the sentence to come out. Finally, Izzie sighed, "I'm scared…I think I'm scared of what I might become" Now, that didn't feel like a lie at all.

The musician didn't seem to understand it. His blink and expressionless countenance talked more than words. He waited for more.

Izzie thought for a while before answering. Was that what she really feared, becoming someone else? But how could she become someone different just by laying down with Kanda? Besides, wasn't that her purpose: throw away everything her father taught her to be righteous and correct?

The girl smiled bashfully at the musician, although the gesture had something of bitter irony in it, "Is like fighting…is like fighting against myself. I…just…" she grunted, angry at her own indecision and ignorance. She decided there was no point in carrying on a conversation with no background and fundaments like that. Things were the way they were and no matter how much she dwelled on it, she didn't feel able to come out with a solution in that moment, with Kanda half-naked in front of her, "I'm really sorry, Kanda…I'm really sorry" she bowed Oriental-like and rushed out of Kanda's room, slamming the door close.

Outside, she slid to the ground and cried.

* * *

><p>After a long shower, Izzie finally managed to calm her rioting. She let all her insecurity and troubles wash away with the dirt and walked out of the bathroom fresh and relieved.<p>

She pulled on a maroon, turtle-neck sweater and a pair of black, skinny jeans, together with her pink slippers.

The wind whistled softly and leaked into the house through the windows and doorways. Before going downstairs, Izzie closed all the windows of the second floor to avoid dust entering their home. The Hispanic woman that cleaned the house wasn't going until Monday and Izzie wasn't keen on living among bothersome particles of dirt until then.

She then headed for the kitchen, thinking about what she could prepare for breakfast. It was relatively early in the morning –just eight o'clock-, but her brain was already working at full speed.

To her own astonishment, the sound of dishes clinking reached her from the kitchen. Izzie frowned, disconcerted by the cacophony of noises. By that hour on Saturdays, Kanda was usually sitting in the living room reading the newspaper or scribbling down on his notebook. Izzie glimpsed at the couch Kanda always occupied, and found it empty.

Alright, now, this was weird. She opened the kitchen's door and stood by the threshold.

Kanda was helping himself with some tea from the metallic kettle. On the counter, at his side, a combination of rice and vegetables rested inside a white bowl. The Japanese man welcomed Izzie with a hasty, almost indifferent, sideways glance and took his food and cup to the table.

Izzie smirked. Now, was Kanda trying to make her feel better? She walked towards the pot where some extra rice still steamed. Without a word, she looked for a bowl and a cup and served the breakfast for her.

"You delayed a lot in the shower" Kanda blurted as an explanation when she sat down.

Izzie's wry smile flickered on her face, "I'm sorry"

"Saying you're sorry is not enough" Kanda deadpanned.

There was something grave in his tone that made Izzie lift her head. She stared at the musician gingerly, "You still mad" That wasn't a question.

Kanda sighed wearily and rubbed his face with a hand, as if he had just arrived from a tiring day of work. He then focused on his food, "I'm not" he shortly responded.

There was something alarmingly weird in his behavior, Izzie immediately noticed. He sounded…disappointed? Upset? Or maybe both together? However, there was no harsh edge on his tone. It was as if he had given up arguing before even starting.

Izzie considered asking further, but, truthfully, she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to start a new argument. She didn't feel like standing it and her mood was good enough to ruin it with repetitive, futile discussions that didn't lead anywhere.

There was nothing she wanted to say. Respecting Kanda's awkward silence, she finished her breakfast, letting the clink of utensils fill the air.

By the time she finished, Kanda too sipped the last of his tea and stood up. He took his dishes and hers to the dishwasher.

"It doesn't work" Izzie announced. She rolled her eyes while the ghost of a smirk played with the corners of her lips.

Kanda grunted, "Since when?"

"Since the day I started asking you to fix it" Izzie calmly replied, standing up too. She approached Kanda and extended her hand to take the plates, "I'll do that"

Kanda scoffed and pulled the dishes out of her reach, "Move" Walking past Izzie, Kanda dropped the plates in the sink and opened the faucet to let the water splash on them.

Izzie sighed. Reluctantly, she decided to leave the kitchen, since Kanda seemed to be all enthusiastic about taking over cooking duties. When she opened the door to go, however, Kanda finally loosed his tongue and talked. She didn't miss the resentment contained in his words. "I can wait. I'm not a creepy bastard that just seeks sex, and you better don't think that way about me because I'm gonna kick you out of this house"

Izzie blinked, perplexed. She didn't know whether she felt hurt by the last part or relieved by the first one.

He continued talking, turning for a very brief moment to establish eye contact with her. "I'll wait" Then, he continued rubbing the plates.

Izzie ran to him. She surrounded his waist with her arms and rested her head on his back. The Japanese halted his activity for a moment and stiffened.

"Thank you" Izzie whispered. With the same haste with which she hugged him, she let go and left the kitchen.

Kanda smirked. When he finished, he dried his hands and sent one inquisitive look at the drawer just beside the stove. He considered opening it again, just to make sure that what he saw while searching a spoon was real, but contained himself. That wouldn't make any difference. With a weary sigh, he walked out the kitchen too and headed for the music room, upstairs.

* * *

><p>AN: I know, I know. This was short...but none of the ideas I've got for the story could possibly fit the general idea of the chapter. Sorry, Langel fans! In fact, at this moment -I mean, while Kanda and Izzie are going through all of this- Angel and Lavi are doing nothing really...relevant. They need time to reorganize their ideas -especially Angel- and plan things -Again, especially Angel- and writing about planifications is rather boring. I prefer writing about those plans being carried out ;) Next chapter you'll know what I'm talking about ;)

Yes, Kanda found the pills in the drawer! He thought Izzie was exerting herself to please him, even when she is not ready for it, and that's why he said those things to her. And, yes, he decided to prepare breakfast to make Izzie feel more at ease. He can be cute at times, even though he doesn't know how to express his feelings :D

Well, I'm sorry if I hadn't answered your reviews/PM, I've been really busy. Fortunately, I'm about to get my spring break and sleep and write and sleep again ;) For those ones who also follow Camera Flash, I'm waiting for my beta-reader to answer me and send me back the document with its respective corrections. I'll be updating it as soon as I receive it, I promise!

Thank you all for reviewing, suscribing, and, READING! of course. That means a lot to me, really. *Bows*

I hope you have a nice day and *coff* leave a review *coff*

Atra esterní ono telduin!


	6. De la vie, de amours diluviennes

_Attached Strings_

_But you didn't have to cut me off__  
><em>_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing__- Somebody that I used to know, Gotye feat. Kimba_

Angel loved this kind of events.

The sun was shining in the sky, in spite of the coldness clinging to her limbs. It was a good thing, seeing the big, yellow star floating above their heads to counteract the cold bite of winter. Angel never really liked winter. It was just so…well, cold and sad and gray. The only thing that she could possibly enjoy during the freezing months of the year was a nice fire cracking in the inside of a chimney after a warm dinner.

Unfortunately, she didn't have a chimney in her recently-acquired apartment which Matt and she rented for only six hundred dollars per month.

Anyway, right now, with the sun making the naked trees of the park look decent for once and offering natural lightening to the stage upon which she was to perform, she thought this was probably the perfect scenario to start the first stage of her plan to get Lavi back.

Activity buzzed everywhere she turned. Several marquees extended in front of her, occupying half of the park. The big sign that hung behind the stage –and behind her- said: Charity Fair for St. Mary Orphanage 2011.

Every year, the St. Mary Orphanage organized a Charity Fair to collect the money they needed to keep the place running during the year that was to come. And every year, Black Order cooperated with the participation of two or three musicians. One was usually famous and the other one was a thriving artist.

This year, as promising as Nana and Matt were, they were asked to perform during the event. Of course, they didn't refuse. In fact, Angel was really excited with the idea of helping little, orphan children. Excited and touched. She, who once was an orphan too and, even though she barely remembered those solitary months, could feel empathy for those kids whose parents didn't want to take care of them. She knew how they felt or must had felt once, and if she could do something to make their lives better and entertain them for a while, there was nothing in this world that could make her reject the idea.

The other band to play that year, for the fourth time, in fact, persuaded by Lenalee and Allen's generous hearts and probably as a matter of fate too, was, of course, Innocence.

They were supposed to finish the show around five o'clock, and that was the reason why they weren't there already. However, Angel knew they had to arrive at least one hour and a half before their assigned schedule, since they had to get everything prepared. Angel and Matt's show was schemed to start until three o'clock, but they arrived with one hour of anticipation to install the sound equipment. If they needed that time to arrange only two guitars, a keyboard, microphones and loudspeakers, she didn't want to imagine the logistic a whole band –drums, bass, guitars, keytars, keyboards, etc- required to be accommodated.

Therefore, Innocence had to arrive just in time to watch her performance. And that was the moment in which she planned to throw the first bomb.

She didn't care how badly Lavi had treated her. From Lenalee's tale, she found out that the poor musician was more hurt than she expected. And that was her fault.

It didn't matter how many times she and Matt tried to shake the guilt away from her; it always returned to haunt her dreams. Lavi looking at her that coldly, that indifferently and with such emptiness in his eyes was worse than any monster created by her subconscious. Lenalee told her as tenderly as she could how much harm Lavi had inflicted to himself since her departure, about a year and a half ago, and that ripped Angel's insides.

It was her fault. She didn't have to leave him. She should have never left him. Never. He was the truest thing she had probably ever had in her life. His love was the truest one she could have experienced ever and she threw it thoughtlessly to go away with her adoptive father who didn't even deserve that name.

Now, she understood the root of his sorrow and his resentment. She changed him for a criminal. She believed the words of the man that tried to kill her best friend instead of listening to Lavi's quiet pleas.

Lavi loved her truly, and she threw it away. Lavi gave everything to her, and she threw it away. He, who was initially so afraid of giving his heart to someone, delivered his heart to her and she chewed it up and spit it out without second thoughts.

When she realized it, she felt awful, sad, contradicted, frustrated, guilty and hurt. For him. For her. For the way things ended up. But, after that and a short talk to Matt, she realized that, instead of suffering with this knowledge, she could use it to straight what was tangled. Matt didn't say much, in any case. Everything he had said, and the words that now helped her have hope, were: _Comprehension is power._ Yes. Understanding the nature of Lavi's despise was the key to get him back.

That was when she started making up her plan.

_Alright, here we go, _Angel said to herself while plugging some cables to the amplifier, _Step one: telling him that I still remember. That I still love him. I cannot talk fully for himself, but I can talk for myself. First stage. _

The loudspeakers made a screech for a moment before falling silent. A pair of hands landed on Angel's waist and started moving convulsively around, causing her tickles.

In one motion, she jerked away, shoving the person in the process, "Hey, stop that!" she exclaimed at Matt's diverted face.

The boy laughed loudly and tickled her harder, stepping closer to the girl. Angel pushed him at the same time she stepped backwards, laughing along. "Matthew!"

"You are so deadly quiet, Angel!" the musician chuckled, reluctant to relent his assault.

Angel never looked back, focused as she was on pushing Matt away. Therefore, she didn't notice the line of cables below her feet until she tripped on them clumsily. The laughter was interrupted by a small shriek when her body fell backwards. She clung to Matt's collar and felt two impacts at the same time: Her back hitting the wooden stage and Matt's chest falling onto hers.

The boy slowly lifted himself to take his weight off a breathless Angel. Nonetheless, he stopped when he was a few inches over her body, noticing how close their faces were. Angel could feel the tip of Matt's nose onto hers. She looked into his dark chocolate eyes and found him looking back at her.

Angel's tongue went numb. She found it hard to focus enough to undo the knot it seemed to have gone into and speak. When she finally remembered how to talk, she stammered, "I…I have to get dressed."

Matt's lips curved upwards and a spark of bitter irony passed through his eyes, as if he hadn't expected any other thing to happen. He swiftly stood up and offered his hand to help Angel up, which she gracefully accepted.

He looked into her eyes for just one second and smiled at her. Angel smiled innocently, almost gullibly and hurried towards the black van the Black Order lent them.

The moment elapsed as rapidly as it arrived, but, for some reason, Matthew Evans had his heart still racing after Angel's figure disappeared behind the metallic doors.

* * *

><p>Allen carefully took his Korg keyboard out of Komui and Lenalee's Outlander. Meanwhile, Lenalee waited in the driver's seat for Allen to indicate her that she could go to the underground parking lot and leave the car there.<p>

Allen carried the keyboard to the sidewalk almost tenderly. There, he crouched down and passed a hand through the strap of the instrument's case to throw it afterwards onto his shoulders. As he got up, he saw through the rearview mirror of the car the face of Kyle chuckling at something Lenalee had just said; or some of his bad jokes again.

Something clutched his heart. He winced at the sensation. Everybody would think that, by this time, after a year had gone by, he'd have gotten used to the stab, but he was not even close to be accustomed to it.

Kyle was…well, he was an asshole. That was the only adjective Allen could find to describe him. He usually made bad, offensive jokes at the worst moments. He never shut the fuck up and looked to the world in general with a tinge of despise. What was worse: his arrogance could not even be justified with gorgeousness, talent or intelligence, the kind of attributes that usually make arrogance acceptable.

No, everything Kyle had to show off about were those strong muscles which's size was inversely proportional to the size of his brain.

More than one time per day Allen asked himself what the heck Lenalee saw in this man.

"Allen-kun!" The Brit jumped at the bellow. He looked at the passenger's window, out of which Lenalee's body leaned. He didn't ignore the fact that she was almost lying onto Kyle…

Allen gulped, "Yes?"

"Are you done? I called you like three times, is everything okay?" she asked, blinking questioningly at Allen, wondering what was wrong with him. From underneath her, Kyle huffed with exasperation.

The keyboardist nodded, "Yep, I'm sorry. I…dozed off." He apologized.

"Yeah, we all saw that, boy." Kyle's deep baritone exclaimed, "Alzheimer attacking?" he mocked, laughing at him because of his abnormal white hair.

Allen blushed with indignation. He vaguely heard Lenalee scolding the man for his lack of manners before her voice was drowned by the roar of the car's engine. He looked downcast and dragged his feet to the center of the park, a thousand of thoughts flooding his head.

What remained above all of that, nonetheless, was the painful sensation of his heart throbbing loudly against his ribs. He tried to subjugate it with hundreds of logical thoughts, enumerating the list of tasks and homework he had to do. Suffering for things he couldn't change was pointless.

Allen caught a glimpse of Kanda and Lavi unloading the set of drums from a truck a friend of Lavi lent them for these occasions. As Allen walked between improvised food locals, street vendors, game spots and dozens of children and pedestrians, Angel's unmistakable voice reached his ears.

He stopped near the stage, right behind the big sign of St. Mary's Charity Fair, in a place from which he could not be seen by the audience. Thus, he couldn't see Angel's figure as well, but he could clearly hear her voice harmoniously accompanied by Matt.

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood  
>Miss "no way it's all good"<br>It didn't slow me down  
>Mistaken, always second guessing<br>Underestimated  
>Look, I'm still around...<em>

_Pretty, pretty please_  
><em>Don't you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're less than<em>  
><em>-' perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please<em>  
><em>If you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're nothing,<em>  
><em>You're - perfect to me<em>

He could feel himself smiling. Certainly, that sounded totally like Angel. And it matched his feelings of the moment almost perfectly.

Mistaken, underestimated, mistreated… no, he didn't feel bad because of the things Kyle said to him. He didn't care about it. What troubled him was the fact that, even though the man so blatantly insulted him, Lenalee stayed with him without complain.

Allen knew how childish it was to think that Lenalee should break up with her boyfriend just because of some bad jokes, but he couldn't help feel that way. She scolded Kyle frequently, that was true, but she stayed nonetheless, which meant that probably the aggressions didn't mean a lot to her. That irremediably led him to think…did she, sometimes, perhaps, think the same about him?

As stupid as it was, he even considered the possibility that she didn't look at him with romantic eyes because of his shortness, his weird hair, his scar…perhaps, if he was tall, brunette or blonde and flawless…

_The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear  
>The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer<br>So cool in line and we tried, tried, tried  
>But we try too hard, and it's a waste of my time<br>Done looking for the critics, cuz they're everywhere  
>They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair<br>Estrange ourselves and we do it all the time  
>Why do we do that?<br>Why do I do that?  
>Why do I do that?<em>

No, he couldn't think like that. Lenalee was not the type of girl to look only to the physical attributes. She always saw further, into the essence of the person. He wasn't being fair to her by thinking those things. She was with Kyle, wasn't she? That was just a proof of how deep into a person's soul she could see in order to find something worth liking. Kyle must have a treasure hidden underneath all that corporal mass, he bitterly thought.

"Hey, Moyashi, heellooooooo~" Lavi cheerfully greeted, embracing Allen in a tight hug that punched the air out of his lungs.

"Ugh….can't…breathe…Lavi…" the boy cried and roughly pushed the redhead away. From behind the singer, he heard the grave thump of a bass drum being thrown to the floor. Immediately following the dry echo, the clank of the cymbals alarmed Lavi to such degree that the musician was forced to push Allen away and fuss over his mistreated instrument.

"Yuu! What are you doing to my babies?" the redhead dramatically sobbed. He knelt down and started accommodating his instruments carefully while feigning to weep uncontrollably.

"It's your shit and I'm not your fucking mule." The Japanese snorted disdainfully. He then directed his glare towards Allen, "And where the fuck were you, Moyashi? You should have helped us, you, bastard!" he complained. Fortunately, his yell was drowned by Matt's guitar on the other side of the stage.

Allen sent him a withering look, "I was busy too, BaKanda." He retorted, "And where did you leave Izzie?" the Brit questioned once he noticed the girl was not with Kanda. That was weird, because she followed him wherever he went.

Kanda clicked his tongue, "None of your business."

"She stayed with Miranda at the HQ." Lavi responded between sob and sob, "Oh, my poor babies, don't worry, daddy is here, big Japanese madman won't hurt you anymore." Allen thought Lavi looked ridiculous hugging the stupid cymbal and lulling to it.

"If you keep sneaking out every night, I wouldn't be surprised if that soon becomes a real baby." Allen commented, rolling his eyes. He knew that was a spiky issue, since Lavi didn't like it when they meddled in his furtive activities, but, c'mon, somebody had to say it.

Lavi hid his discontentment fairly well behind a bark of laughter, "I'm always prepared, Moyashi." He said, finally standing up and taking a small, square package from his pants' pockets.

He showed the condom to Allen and waggled his eyebrows, "Wanna try it with me, baby?"

Allen stuck his tongue out and made as if vomiting, "I rather be burnt alive by Hitler while hearing an Iron Maiden's cover made by Rebecca Black, but thanks for the offer."

"That was rough, baby. I'll be around, anyway, in case you feel…_needy_." Lavi winked at Allen naughtily and put away the preservative.

"I ain't here for one minute and the first thing I find at my arrival is you two flirting…" Lenalee accused. She smiled and greeted her old companions while Kyle placed a set of microphones and loudspeakers next to the other instruments. Lenalee crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at Lavi and Allen, a tinge of amusement coloring her eyes, "Should I feel incensed for not being previously notified or should I call adoption service?" she teased.

"Oh, poor grandpa won't have energy for a baby, right, Allen?" Kyle rudely patted Allen's back and laughed heartily to the sky. Allen had to step forward, away from the wild, 'friendly', pats that felt more like punches. I don't need to mention the fact that nobody laughed at Kyle's joke besides himself.

A sharp response attended Allen's mind. He was always good at giving wit answers to those kind of offensive comments and didn't have reserves when it came to use them. However, this time, as well as all the previous ones, he had to restrain himself. Kyle annoyed him to no imaginable levels, but he was still Lenalee's boyfriend, and, therefore, he had the obligation as Lenalee's best friend to peacefully stand all of his brainless exclamations. So, he bit his tongue and prayed to the heavens that Lavi didn't go in his defense and generate an unnecessary argument.

"And why would we need an adoption?" Lavi followed the game with good, albeit nasty, humor, "There's enough in this pants to create-"

"Ugh, please, don't finish that sentence if you have any respect for humankind." The Brit flinched. "Why don't we start plugging some things here?"

"It'd be useless, idiot, we need to get up there and the girl is still singing." Kanda snarled.

"Why don't we all go and see the last of Angel's performance?" Lenalee cheerfully proposed with a single clap. "Let's go, c'mon!" before any of them could answer or Kyle could shut the fuck up, the Chinese singer pulled Lavi and Kanda's wrists and started dragging them to the front part of the stage. She knew her boyfriend and Allen would follow obediently, and, ignoring how much Allen disliked the idiotic man, Lenalee left them behind while threatening, begging and forcing her two other companions out of the backstage.

"Why so serious, grandpa?" the brute of Kyle charged, elbowing Allen.

The Brit flinched, "This is how I am." He dryly responded.

"Oi, don't take everything so seriously!" Kyle insisted and messed Allen's hair, "Laugh, little man!"

Allen jerked away immediately and pretended that Cro-Magnon was not there while following Lenalee to one of the tents set up in front of the stage.

"Still mad because I took your girl away?" Kyle pressed, but this time he spoke in a deadly serious undertone.

Allen froze before he could reach the first row of spectators that observed Angel and Matt. Parsimoniously, the boy lifted his eyes to meet Kyle's gray irises looking down at him. He averted his gaze and grimaced, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"I know about the song, mate." Why didn't he shut up? Wasn't it enough to stab him? Or did he want to broaden the wound too? "Guardian angel or something like that? The one you played for her."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Allen muttered and resumed walking.

"Of course you know, you're just hiding it~" Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. "I'm sorry. She's a really nice girl, you know. It isn't a surprise that you're in love with her."

"I'm not in love with her."

"Oh, really?" Suddenly, Kyle stepped in front of Allen, blocking his way, and stared at the boy curiously.

Allen solemnly nodded.

"Because she thinks you are. Or thought…it's been a while since she has mentioned something about it. Anyway, if you are not in love with her, then she doesn't need to worry anymore, does she? Oh, of course not!" Kyle laughed. Stupid laugh.

But that last phrase reverberated in Allen's head. _She doesn't need to worry anymore_. So…she worried. She…yes, probably after the club's incident, when Kyle appeared for the first time after Allen had dedicated her a song, she felt sad. She was Lenalee, after all, and that was what Lenalee did the best: worry about others before she could be happy for herself.

Suddenly, a wave of guilt stroke Allen. He had spent all that time feeling bad for himself and never wondered how it must had been for Lenalee to realize he was in love with her while she dated another guy. He had been so selfish…and he told himself he was in love with her.

Kyle continued walking until he arrived next to her girlfriend and surrounded her waist with one arm. Allen followed behind, his eyes focused on the floor the whole time. He didn't feel like lifting his gaze to see Lenalee…

How stupid he had been.

Just to make him feel worse, as if his own mind had turned against him, an idea formed in the back of his head to haunt him for what was left of the day. Or his life.

Well, she was sorry for him. She felt bad because she was hurting a person she cared about. If she worried, it meant she cared, that was a point to his favor. But if she still decided to continue her relationship with Kyle, then that meant she wanted him more than she cared about Allen. Maybe, she even cared about him more than she did about Allen.

Again, that clutch in his chest, this time, more painful, more excruciating and real. It was the worst of them all because its source was not the product of his imagination, but the confirmation of a dreadful truth.

And it was not going to fade away.

* * *

><p>Watching the crowd clapping at her sent waves of adrenaline to her body despite how many times she'd been onto a stage. Angel smiled gratefully at each of the faces that grinned, especially the kids, who were pretty amused by her outfit.<p>

Angel always wore eccentric clothes, tons of makeup and wigs for her shows. At first, she did it because she didn't want Leverrier to track her back in Atlanta. Even though he signed the emancipation act and they quietly agreed to never meet each other again, Angel never felt comfortable knowing that he may obtain news of her due to her new job. Leverrier never considered music as a respectable work; he reminded her that a lot of times after she went back home and broke up with Lavi.

If Leverrier had known the way she earned money, he'd have probably got furious. He couldn't do anything to her but she was kind of afraid of him. During the first weeks after the separation, she lived in constant fear that Leverrier may regret the emancipation trial and decided to go back and haunt her down. It was ridiculous, because he never cared about her. However, that same fear leaded her to dress in a way that she could be unrecognizable, and that was the way the world started to know Nana. The extravagant outfits became part of the artist's identity and she stuck happily to that.

Using her character's personality as an excuse, she wore a super-special outfit for the Charity Fair. The blue afro wig, the red nose, the colorful makeup and denim overall conceded her the aspect of a gleeful clown that was there just for the sake of the children. Angel was happy with her new role and enjoyed talking with the kids and making jokes. At some point of her show, she even forced Matt to wear another red nose. She sang, laughed, and had fun until _he _appeared, standing underneath the first marquees.

Still wearing her smile on, she sent Matt a meaningful glance that indicated that they were almost done with the show and it was time to proceed with the first stage of her plan.

Matt returned her the gaze, his smile fading, replaced by a completely expressionless countenance. He absentmindedly nodded, changed his electric guitar for an acoustic one and waited for Angel to announce their next song.

"I'm sad to inform you that our time is over." Angel waited patiently until the chorus of sad exclamations relented, "Matty-tatty-mitz and I had a very special time with you today, kids." She said, eyeing Matt to see him flinch at his totally ridiculous nickname. The public laughed at his incensed expression.

Angel continued talking, "We'll play one last song. But before we do that, I want you to know that this is a very special song that a special person wrote some time ago," discreetly, her eyes casted towards Lavi for a brief second. "I appreciate him a lot, and this is the way I can show him my affection…"

She beckoned at Matt and he started playing the rehearsed notes on his guitar. Meanwhile, Angel turned around to clear her throat before starting to sing.

_This is what I look like today  
>And I'm trying not to pull out my hair<br>I'm trying hard to grow it but I'm far too shy to show it back there  
>That is probably why I like wearing hats<br>There's no denying I'm deferring the facts  
>Avoiding confrontation<br>Lacks tact in a situation  
>Behind every line is a lesson yet to learn<em>

_But if you ask me  
>The feeling that I'm feeling is overwhelming<br>And oh, it goes to show  
>There's so much to know<em>

_I wrote this for my prettiest friend_  
><em>But while trying not to prove that I care<em>  
><em>I was trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away<em>  
><em>She can't see she's making me crazy now<em>  
><em>I don't believe she knows she's amazing how<em>  
><em>She has me holding my breath<em>  
><em>So I'd never guess that I'm a none such unsuitable, suited for her<em>

_But if you ask me  
>The feeling that I'm feeling is complimentary<br>And oh, it goes to show  
>The moral of the story is boy loves girl<br>And so on the way that it unfolds is yet to be told_

_I know that I should be brave_  
><em>Even pretty can be seen by the blind<em>  
><em>I know that I cannot wait<em>  
><em>Until the day we finally learn how to find each other<em>  
><em>Redefining open minds<em>

There was a loud screech. The people of the park uttered a collective complain and covered their ears. Angel kept on singing, but looked inquisitively around, seeking the cause of such discomfort. She hit the microphone absentmindedly to check if it was still working just to find out that it was turned off.

From her side, Matt snapped, "What are you doing?"

Angel casted her eyes towards him, then, followed the direction of his gaze.

Lavi was standing right behind the stage. The wooden platform covered his figure up to the waist, leaving his cold expression exposed to the two musicians.

"Time is up." He deadpanned. A bunch of cables hung from his left arm. He fixated his glare onto Angel and repeated, chewing every word before spitting it out, "Time is up."

* * *

><p>AN: This was horribly written, I know. My writing skills are slowly dying and I can't find a way to help it.

Sorry for the mistakes in here.

Songs:

Fucking perfect- Pink (I omited the 'fuckin' because..c'mon, they are at a child's event)

Prettiest Friend- Jason Mraz


	7. Resistance

_Attached Strings~_

_You're not a hero, you're a liar_

_You're not a savior, you're a vampire_

_Sucking the life out of all the friends you've ever known- Heroes, All Time Low_

"What the heck are you doing?" Matt exploded as soon as he was off the stage. He roughly pushed Lavi's chest, making the singer stagger to the backstage.

The redhead abruptly caught Matt's hands before he shoved him again and sent him stumbling violently backwards. "Don't touch me, idiot!"

"Then don't mess with us, arrogant prick!" Matt was about to send a blow in Lavi's direction when somebody stopped his fist midair. Angel wrapped his hand between hers and pulled it with unexpected strength downwards.

"Enough." She hissed. The girl darted a murderous glance towards Matt, so powerful it made him feel petty inside, but that didn't eased his anger.

Matt snatched his fist away from her warm hand and pointed an accusatory finger at Lavi, "He ruined our show, Angel. He thinks he can do whatever he wants but he can't!"

"That is _my_ song. Mine! And what you did is named copyright infringement and you can be sued for that!" Lavi snarled, glaring at both artists. His eyes sparkled with pure rage, and when he digested the sight of Angel standing beside Matt, her arm almost rubbing his, the temperature of his blood arouse uncontrollably.

Angel seemed to recoil when he mentioned legal business. She blinked owlishly, fear oozing through her pretty, dark eyes.

"But you won't do that, right?" the girl questioned in a tiny voice.

Lavi had just opened his mouth to sneer an answer when a female's voice interjected, "No, we won't, because Lavi never registered that song. His threat is hollow."

Lavi glared at Lenalee for disregarding his statements. "It is still fucking mine!"

"But you wrote it for me." Angel stepped forward, piercing Lavi's features with her penetrating gaze, "It is mine as much as it is yours." She firmly stated, demonstrating a steadiness of character she hadn't shown before.

Lavi's anger washed away for three seconds upon watching her reaction. After that, however, it returned with renewed vigor, threatening with taking his sanity away if he didn't repress himself. Clenching his fists so hard he almost hurt himself, the singer dedicated Angel his most deadly glare.

"It stopped being yours when you threw it to the floor and stamped on it." Lavi harshly muttered in an undertone, "Don't pretend we still have connections between us, Angela Leverrier, because we don't."

Angel staggered backwards, wide-eyed, all her determination suddenly elated. Between gritted teeth, the girl uttered an unintelligible whisper, "Not Leverrier."

Before he could control himself, Lavi spat out, "What?"

"Not Leverrier!" Angel said, raising her shaking voice, "I'm not his daughter anymore. Not after the things he did to Izzie."

There was a strong silence. All eyes were focused on Angel, who preferred to look downcast. Her body trembled with contained fury and sadness. For one fraction of second, one very brief fraction, Lavi longed to…

"Let's go, Angel." Matt placed both hands onto the girl's shoulder, who relaxed under the contact. "We're done here, anyway. I'll take the things to the truck, okay?"

Angel nodded obediently and lifted her gaze. It didn't fixate on Lavi, however, looking past his shoulders instead, "Lunch tomorrow, same place?" the girl smiled at Allen and Lenalee. Both returned her a wide grin.

"Yes, I'll like to know this thing about not being Leverrier's daughter anymore." Allen happily said, "Sounds like a pretty interesting story."

"And you still owe us an explanation of…this…" Lenalee pointed at Angel's outfit emphatically. "See you tomorrow."

"See you." Both artists, Nana and her companion, turned around, Matt sending Lavi one last withering look, and picked up their things.

Once they were gone, Lenalee let her vexation pour against the only guilty of what had happened, "You are an idiot!" Lenalee pocked Lavi in the chest with her index. "Interrupting like that!"

"It was my freaking song." Lavi stubbornly repeated, crossing his hands across his chest.

Allen clicked his tongue and bent down to grab a bunch of tangled cables, "You are being childish~"

Lenalee nodded in agreement and continued scolding her peer, "You hurt her, Lavi!"

"Yeah? Well, she hurt me first!" Lavi sourly retaliated. He rudely stepped away from Lenalee to pick up his cymbals.

"She didn't have an option!"

"We've been through this, Lenalee, a thousand times." The redhead snapped, tossing the bass drum onto his shoulder, "She had an option, and she chose her corrupt father instead of me."

"One does not forsake family."

"Well, she really doesn't seem to think that way now, which only convinces me more that everything she wanted was to stray from me. Us."

"How can you be so pigheaded?" Lenalee rhetorically inquired, reprehending Lavi with a frown. "She really must have had a good reason…I wonder…" Lenalee ran a finger through her lower lip, losing herself in deep thought until Lavi pulled her out of it.

"Exactly, wonder. You don't know anything for certain so stop defending her and prepare for the godamned show. First of all, we'll sing '_Get down on your knees and tell me you love me'_."

"So you're going for the subliminal message? That's low." Allen reproached.

"What subliminal message?" Lavi feigned innocence, placing his instruments onto the stage and leaving them to the staff to arrange it.

"You know she'll still be around here."

"I won't play that." the Chinese singer affirmed, glaring at Lavi.

Allen nodded in agreement, "Neither do I. It's cruel, man. The song itself, and with her here…"

Lavi raised his hands in surrender, "Okay, okay, two against one, let's see what Yuu-pon says."

Kanda's head popped out from the other side of the stage. He tossed something at Lavi –a drumstick- which the singer caught midair. "Don't call me by my name, usagi!" he roared.

"What about _'Get down on your knees and tell me you love me'_ for a start, huh? I know you like that song~" Lavi coaxed, his eyes smoldering with plea.

The Japanese shrugged nonchalantly. "I could not care less."

"Two against two, flip a coin?" Lavi turned to his mates.

Allen raised an eyebrow, "He didn't say yes."

"He didn't say no, either. I choose-"

Lenalee curtly interfered, cutting whatever he was about to say, "I'm not playing that song, and I'm sure Allen neither, even if you win."

"And I support her!" A male's voice exclaimed cheerfully from behind the singer.

Kyle approached with long strides, carrying two ice-creams in his chubby hands. He delivered the strawberry one to Lenalee and licked his like a five-year old, "What are we arguing about?"

"Well, that makes three against one and a half." Allen announced, reluctantly accepting the inclusion of Kyle for the greater good. He finished plugging some cables and jumped off the dais to join the small group, "Give up, Bookman." He grinned triumphantly.

"He is not even in the band!" Lavi childishly defended.

"He is my boyfriend and his opinion counts to me." Lenalee replied, giving Lavi a sharp look, defying him to confront her statement.

Lavi stared at the Chinese's determination for a safety amount of time, long enough to make it clear he was not pleased but making sure Kyle wouldn't get jealous. The man had proved to be really possessive.

Heaving a defeated sigh, Lavi changed his mind, "_Heroes_?"

Lenalee rolled her eyes exasperatedly, "This is a Charity Fair for an orphanage, not a contest of 'let's see who punches better'"

Lavi frowned, "I'm not…

"_You can't be missed if you never go away_" the girl proposed, "That's the most I can accept."

* * *

><p><em>I was buried alive<em>_  
><em>_I came back to haunt you__  
><em>_Are you dying to believe__  
><em>_I can't go on without you?__  
><em>_All we are is too fast for love__  
><em>

There was no way in the world that Lavi was going to admit this, but he was truly satisfied by the fact that Angel and her friend stayed to listen the first song.

Perhaps satisfied wasn't the exact word. Maybe, flattered? No, flattered neither. Lavi couldn't find a word to describe his good humor, and he didn't really care. He continuously sent the girl sideways glances to make sure she was listening, not only the song, but also the truth expressed in lyrics of his first months alone.

_We're too young__  
><em>_I hate to love you__  
><em>_The night's gone__  
><em>_And you're gone too__  
><em>_But you can't be missed__  
><em>_If you never go away_

_It's the end of a broken heart__  
><em>_I went on without you__  
><em>_I was lost from the start__  
><em>_I did what I had to__  
><em>_All we are is too fast for love__  
><em>

The combination of drums, guitars and keyboards was rather monotonous. However, the importance of this song resided mostly on the lyrics and all the feelings printed in them. Lavi was glad to admit that this one was a song he wrote by himself alone, notes and everything.

It was the revelation of the breakpoint in which he decided that he didn't want to keep on dwelling on the past. That crucial moment of his life where bitterness was not an option and so, he chose a path of numb dissolution that could allow him a brief glimpse of what they call 'love' without getting too immersed in that world ever again.

He was not going to get hurt again.

_We're too young__  
><em>_I hate to love you__  
><em>_The night's gone__  
><em>_And you're gone too__  
><em>_But you can't be missed__  
><em>_If you never go away__You don't know what I've seen__  
><em>_You can see that I've been drownin'__  
><em>_Without you__  
><em>_And I don't know where you've been__  
><em>_But I can wash your sins away_

Yes, that was a plain admission of his weakness, of his never fading melancholy. Nonetheless, those two points were nothing compared to the rest of the song, in the same measurement in which they were insignificant now in his life.

_We're too young__  
><em>_I hate to love you__  
><em>_The night's gone__  
><em>_And you're gone too__  
><em>_But you can't be missed__  
><em>_If you never go away__It's the end of a broken heart _

"It's the end of a broken heart." He whispered into the microphone, fixing his gaze on Angel.

The end arrived a long time ago. There was no turn back and she needed to understand that. Because, once you cross certain limits, there's no way back. There was no u turn for them.

* * *

><p>Izzie crossed her arms in front of her chest and watched Kanda's fruitless efforts while suppressing her amusement. "Why don't you just call a plumber?"<p>

Kanda was lying on the floor, his head and shoulders incrusted in the now empty interior of the dishwasher. The rails and plate holders were scattered around him as the musician tried to discover what was wrong with the machine. "We don't need a fucking plumber."

Izzie raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Kanda was being the stubborn prick he always was, and it was just needed an amount of time and failure to make him see the need of hiring a specialized person. She knew him so well… However, she couldn't help teasing him for his stubbornness.

"I'm pretty sure a plumber knows that you should take the dishwasher out and analyze the machine from the back." she nonchalantly commented, leaning her rump against the circular table.

"Plumbers don't know nothing." Kanda growled for all answer. "Where is the screwdriver?" he asked as he pulled his right arm out of the dishwasher's compartment, touching the surface of the adjacent counter in search of the tool.

Izzie was about to stand up and fetch it to him when Kanda's arm accidentally pressed the 'start' button. Automatically, the inconspicuous sprinkles sprayed cool water all over the musician's face. Kanda swore out-loud and hastily sat upright, hitting his head with the top of the compartment by accident.

Izzie couldn't help it. A bubble of laughter rose up her chest and exploded in her mouth. She doubled herself as her stomach convulsed with the guffaws.

"Oi, what is the fucking funny thing?" Kanda infuriatingly barked. As soon as he freed himself from the devilish machine, he smashed the 'stop' button and glared at the giggling girl.

His long hair was dripping as well as his shirt's collar, for not mentioning the appearance of his soaking face. Izzie drank in all of that with growing amusement, sensation that soon turned into deep appreciation. It was incredible how he was still able to be stunningly good-looking even with his drenched clothes.

She could have envied and coveted him if she didn't have him already. Smiling at herself, cherishing dearly the fact that he had chosen her from all the other girls, Izzie grabbed the kitchen's towel and gently rubbed his moistened cheek with it.

"You." Izzie simply said with a sweet grin, answering his question a bit too late. Her soft smile soon became a scowl after Kanda snatched the towel out of her hands and tossed it away.

"That thing is fucking filthy." He grunted, still looking vexed with the whole situation.

Izzie crossed her arms again. "Well, if you want a clean towel, go and get it from the laundry room." She scolded him in an almost motherly-fashion.

"Why don't _you _go and get it?" the man retaliated. His eyes flashed behind the soaking eyelashes that seemed more prominent than usual with the little drops hanging from them. The water itself bestowed the navy eyes an ethereal air, making the irises look larger and deeper.

Izzie felt like losing her ground. God, his eyes! Even when they flashed with anger, the life in them was the most mesmerizing feature of his. They could reflect anger as easily as they reflected tenderness, even when he never admitted himself susceptible to such emotion. Izzie knew that, given the option, she would lose herself in those pair of almond-shaped eyes for the rest of her life.

Kanda cleared his throat audibly to catch her attention, "Oi, goblin, I'm talking to you!"

Reality sucked Izzie back from her hypnotic state. She blinked twice and blushed upon meeting Kanda's smug smirk. He knew what she had been looking at so intently, perhaps he could even guess what she had been thinking and was now using it to mock the girl.

Izzie flinched, "Don't call me by that stupid nickname." She sneered trying to appear incensed, although all her vexation was far gone.

Kanda stepped closer to her, his tall figure menacing the girl. "Don't drool, goblin. It doesn't fit you."

If Izzie could turn even more crimson, she was pretty sure that she did. The girl staggered backwards, fretting, and replied in her most steady voice, "I'm not drooling!"

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. Now, move, I'm calling the plumber." Izzie intended to shove Kanda out of her way, but the bassist blocked her way deliberately.

"I already told you, we don't need a plumber." He bent down so his forehead was leaning on hers, making sure that her eyes met his in an intense gaze. "In fact, we don't need anyone else." He added in an undertone, trailing his fingers along Izzie's jaw line.

A shiver ran down the girl's spinal cord. Kanda smirked at her squirm and soon covered her mouth with his in an intense kiss. At the beginning, the contact was passionate, relentless and breathtaking. Soon, however, it slowed down to a rhythmic cadence that edged on sensuality. He took all his time to explore every inch of her mouth, savoring the most pure taste of the girl's flesh. There was no rush, not even in the way his hands caressed random places of her anatomy. Izzie's knees buckled underneath her.

Kanda opportunely held her, nesting the girl's rump in between his extended arms. Carefully, without letting go of her neck's flesh, Kanda placed her on top of the table.

After Izzie recovered from the first impression, she started trailing Kanda's chest-bone with her slim fingers, sliding them underneath the fabric with a boldness she had never had before. She tested the strong pectorals and the abdomen muscles so perfectly marked and well chiseled that if she hadn't been able to touch them, she wouldn't believe the existence of such perfection possible.

Kanda sighed audibly against the skin of her collarbone when the girl started tracing random patterns just below his navel. Sensing the Japanese's satisfaction, Izzie continued caressing the zone with light touches of her fingers, eventually leaning her whole hand against the skin.

After one last kiss to the crook of her neck, Kanda stepped back with certain reluctance. His eyes were set on fire and his chest was moving rapidly with accelerated respiration. "Enough." He declared in a husky voice.

Izzie blinked, utterly surprised by the Japanese's demeanor. She was always the one to declare when it was enough, and he was usually the one wanting more and more. The girl never imagined that the papers could be reversed anytime soon, but here they were. Izzie was not done with their make-out moment. Her fingers still yearned for the recently tasted flesh and her mouth felt dry without his to moisten it. Then again, Kanda looked more affected than ever and Izzie came to the conclusion that there was a reason why he had called them to a halt. What this reason could be, she didn't know.

The answer came when her eyes casted downwards, right to the space between his…

Kanda gave another step back, his eyes closed as he tried to behold something she couldn't see. He pinned the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index and took a deep breath.

Izzie smiled sadly at him, finally understanding. He was trying to control himself. Kanda was really trying to respect the imposed celibacy and draw a boundary.

Touched by his respectfulness, she approached his still figure and rubbed his arm gently. "Go take a shower, I'll clean here."

Kanda sharply nodded and exited the room in one motion. Izzie sighed, not knowing if she felt happy that he accepted or if she felt disappointed by the fact that she couldn't please him. However, the truth that she was the one still wanting more remained. What would have happened if he had continued? What would have happened if the fire within her hadn't stopped like always? Would they have… would she have been willing this time to deliver her body to him?

Izzie sighed as she picked up the scattered tools from the kitchen. The truth was that she didn't have the answer to any of these questions, and she was just tormenting herself with 'what ifs'. Kanda and she had decided, by mutual agreement, to postpone their sexual life and the Japanese was respecting that. She was supposed to feel grateful and not confused.

"Stop fretting about it, Fletcher." Izzie muttered to herself, "It will happen when it is meant to happen."

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry this was lame. I really didn't like this chapter; it felt more like a filler. Anyway, I'd like to enter in details of what my aims were for this, but right now I'm in quite a rush (so usual these days).

Sorry for not replying to some of your PM's, I'll do it as soon as possible.

Sorry for any mistakes, I proof-read this but...err...my head is elsewhere. This was supposed to be longer, but since I'm in the middle of a hurricane of happenings, I couldn't find inspiration for more.

Reviews and a cookie?


	8. What you don't know

_Attached Strings~_

_You know I look after you,_

_What you don't know is that I want to be,_

_That one for whom you are sleepless and you desperate for. – Translation from "Yo Quisiera" (I'd like to) from the mexican group Reik._

* * *

><p>Allen looked into the clear water streaming underneath him.<p>

He heaved a sigh, the heat of his body condensing in a small cloud of vapor in front of his face.

The park was stunningly quiet, although it couldn't be any different during a cold November morning. The children were still attending classes, and the grown-ups were working their asses off to overcome the economic crisis.

He should be at school too, but the truth was that Allen didn't feel like attending classes that day. They were doing practically nothing since the semester was almost over, and the Brit could imagine a thousand leisure activities he could do instead of enclosing himself with twenty-five fools.

Dwelling on his romantic situation was his favorite leisure activity ever, the unavoidable and painful one.

Allen stooped and let his chin rest onto his folded arms while looking downcast. He was standing on a small bridge that crossed a stream, right in the middle of a large park that counted also with a lake some miles north following the creek.

This was Allen's favorite place to come when he wanted to brood. Nobody seemed to know about this half-hidden, decrepit bridge, protected by a line of oak trees at each side of the water current. He discovered it during a camp, back in Elementary School, and had shown it to nobody but his best friends. It was a secret they shared, and a place especially reserved for him to pour out his grief.

Her face popped out on the surface of the stream like an ethereal ghost, just the product of his imagination. Allen had every feature of hers carved with fire on his frontal lobe: the dark, silky hair that framed her delicate face; the high cheekbones and narrow chin; the big, chocolate and kind eyes.

He wished he could touch her, stroke her hair and kiss her lips…he yearned for it so badly…

But she was with Kyle. Tall, brunette, handsome Kyle, a football player, maybe a bit of a dumbass, albeit good hearted. Too innocent to realize the world is not the funny place he made it out to be, although Allen thought that quality only made him more endearing to Lenalee.

As much as Allen wanted to hate Kyle, he could not. The man never really made anything to hurt Lenalee. Perhaps he gave her more happiness that he could ever offer her. Despite having to hide from Komui's enormous sister-complex, the couple enjoyed their furtive relationship like any other teenage functional couple.

It was because of this felicity Kyle provided to Lenalee that Allen could not loathe him, in spite of his unfunny jokes and pigheadedness.

He felt embarrassed that some part of him, the selfish part, wished that their relationship failed. Sometimes, he surprised himself wondering, almost desiring, how it'd be if they suddenly felt unhappy with being together. How it'd be if Lenalee broke up with him, or vice versa.

She'd be destroyed, probably. No, he couldn't wish her that kind of wretchedness, but there he was, desiring one more time that they broke up.

Allen clicked his tongue. He was such a selfish bastard. If he really wished Lenalee that kind of ending to her actual romance, then he didn't deserve to even kiss the ground she stepped on. He was his best friend, wasn't he? He was supposed to wish her the best of lucks through any time of her life!

_I'll shake his hand, and smile, and say I understand. Well I do__  
>That don't mean I don't think about you<em>

_I know we__  
>Said it's just as well that I won't keep, keep you for myself<em>_  
>But I don't want to see you happier with somebody else<em>

_Oh, why can't you just be lonely?_

The rush of bushes being moved apart brought Allen out of his contemplations. The boy turned to look at the source of the sound, preparing himself to leave for another lonely place. He was in no mood to deal with any human being.

Anyone but the person that came out of the bushes.

Lenalee smoothed down her black skirt as she straightened up. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail that trailed down her back up to the waist. A blue blouse delicately hugged her figure, the slim neck exposed. Tall, heeled leather boots hindered her advance upon the rocky surface.

What called Allen's attention, however, weren't those details, but the puffy aspect of Lenalee's eyes.

The girl lifted her gaze as she walked towards the old, wooden bridge. Her eyes came across Allen's, and she dedicated the Brit a wry smile.

"Hey." She weakly saluted.

"Hey." Allen answered back, walking gingerly towards her. "Are you okay?"

Heaving a sigh, Lenalee sat down on one of the moldy stairs that leaded to the bridge, giving Allen her back. The keyboardist quietly sat down beside her, peering at the girl from the corner of his eye.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" he murmured.

Lenalee shrugged. "Mr. Ferrer didn't arrive and I…" her hands rubbed each other nervously. "I didn't want to be there anymore." She added in a barely audible whisper.

Allen stared at her hands. They were clean and slim, except for a rough patch of skin on her fingertips product of the multiple cuts and small injuries playing the guitar had inflicted her.

Allen noticed how her hands gave nervous twitches and rubbed each other continuously, indicating the girl was fretting about something.

Curiosity poked him, together with a sense of protectiveness that arose within. Eyeing the girl's profile, Allen talked through the lump in his throat: "What happened?"

Lenalee took in a deep breath. Her eyes fixated on a spot several meters in front of them while her lips moved to articulate the answer, "Kyle and I fought."

Allen remained quiet for a respectful amount of time, just enough for him to accommodate his ideas inside his head.

This was not the first time Lenalee came to him weeping after an argument with her boyfriend. It wasn't pretty often, but it did happen, as it'd occur in any healthy relationship. There were disagreements, snaps and retaliation, although they always made up afterwards.

Although, as far as Allen was concerned, Kyle had never physically threatened Lenalee nor insulted her in a special manner, he always felt vexed whenever the prick made the girl suffer. Watching her in such distress was painful to him in every possible way, physical and emotional, and thinking who was the responsible of her anguish only worsened his wrath.

Keeping himself together, the keyboardist inhaled and carefully asked, "Why?"

She didn't answer at first. The girl just stared at the floor, brooding silently on something fluttering inside her head. Her expression was rather contemplative, with a couple of shivers running down her spine now and then. Slowly, as if she had just understood Allen's question, she eyed her friend and said in a hushed voice: "He wants to tell Nii-san... about us."

Oh. That. Well, that was kind of perilous, and probably the boy had no idea that his life was endangered, because telling Komui Lee that his little, precious Lenalee had been dating a stranger for over a year could cause a Third World War or something of similar magnitude.

Allen could totally comprehend Kyle's train of thought, though. After a year, it is pretty normal to get well acquainted with your girlfriend's family, unless you are an arrogant bastard like Kanda. Lenalee had certainly not done well by hiding her relationship from her brother, but it was her decision and Allen was no one to question it. The girl had her own reasons and he could half understand them as well.

He wondered how deeply in love could she be to hide something to her beloved brother. She never liked lying; however, she had lied a thousand times to go out with Kyle, or more like, made Allen, Lavi, Izzie and Kanda lie for her.

Allen chose his words meticulously before letting them drop from his mouth, "Well…maybe you should… I mean, what's the worst thing Komui could do?"

Lenalee sent Allen a sharp glance, then sighed and hugged her legs, resting her chin atop one of them. "You know Nii-san." She mumbled softly.

"It's been a year, Lenalee." Allen murmured, "You have to tell him…sooner or later…if you plan to continue with Kyle." The Brit audibly gulped at the sudden flash of pain in his heart. Damn him and his gentleness. Why couldn't he just tell her to break up with Kyle? Oh, right, because he was trying to be a nice guy.

She stayed quiet. Allen spared her a long sideways glance in an endeavor to decipher what was going on inside her head. Nonetheless, her expression didn't give away anything special. If anything, her eyes were only a reflection of the disarray in her own mind, out from which he couldn't conclude anything specific.

"I know... but it's been a year… what will Nii-san say when he finds out that I have been dating behind his back for that long?"

"It'd be worse if you let more time go by. And Kyle, well, he has the right to know Komui." He couldn't believe it. Was he defending that bastard?

Lenalee let out a helpless whine and buried her face in her hands, "I know! It's just that…you know how he is…"

"He's just afraid that someone might hurt you. Show him that Kyle makes you-" Allen made a great effort to swallow his pride, his own feelings, and speak, "-happy. Happier than any other person… He has to accept that eventually."

There was a long period of silence in which none of them said a word, Lenalee rummaging and Allen discreetly watching her, fighting against the clashing emotions inside him. He wondered how much more he could be able to resist before he snapped.

Seeing the one you love hang out with someone else was painful. Being forced to watch it for over a year could eventually be unbearable. Still, Allen had managed to cope with it with a straight face, so he wouldn't trouble Lenalee in any way.

He remembered Kyle telling him the other day how much the Chinese singer worried for him upon discovering his feelings.

Allen was glad he decided to lock it all inside his chest and keep an effortless friendship with the Chinese. However, that decision put more weight on his shoulders than if he had chosen to stray. Throughout the last year, he had been there to give Lenalee his shoulder to cry, to advise her and comfort her whenever she had a row with Kyle or doubted whether she should go on with the relationship or just throw everything away. He was the first one to whom Lenalee ran in search of support, and Allen endeavored to keep her trust.

However, he knew this couldn't last forever. It didn't matter how resistant or resilient he was, he had a limit, a breakpoint, and if Lenalee pushed things farther with Kyle, making the relationship official, Allen wasn't sure if he could be able to put up with it.

Everything he did, he did it for her. Since those late months of Junior High School, in which the girl approached them to offer Kanda, Allen and Lavi help with their songs, Allen placed her in a special section of his heart. At first, he didn't notice how infatuated he was, but when he started to notice the jealousy that watching her with other boys provoked in him, Allen realized there was something more inside; something bigger than friendship, and less disposable.

And, after three years, there he was, encouraging the girl to take the next step with her boyfriend even though he wished with all his heart that she could turn around and look at him instead.

Just to make sure, just because he was a fucking masochist or perhaps he desired to listen to a specific answer, Allen quietly asked, "He makes you happy, right?"

That elicited a wry smile from Lenalee. Leaning her elbows on her knees, she imperceptibly nodded, "I know he may be a little…insufferable at times, but he has a big heart and can be really tender. And he is charming in his own way…the way he surprises me with flowers or jewelry at random…or with expensive restaurants… he…" as if realizing her mistake, Lenalee trailed off, looking warily at Allen. The Brit just smiled warmly at her. "He cares." She finished, averting her gaze shamefully.

"You really love him." Allen concluded after an uncomfortable moment of silence.

Lenalee smiled, "I think so. Allen, I-" the girl choked with her words for a second. Carefully, undecided as if she should speak or not, she wetted her lips and continued, "Kyle told me you…you don't…that you aren't…"

Allen immediately grasped what she meant. Saving her the trouble to find the correct words, he said, "That I moved on."

The girl sighed and nodded. For a very brief second, Allen thought she had gotten upset, due to the expression on her face, but the impression disappeared as soon as it had popped out.

"I'm...well…I don't know what to say…but…thank you?"

Allen tried to conceal the pain those words caused him. Was she thanking him for 'letting her go'? Something that, to begin with, was not real and not even close to become real.

"You don't have to thank me. Those things…happen."

Gently, Lenalee leaned her head on his shoulder. Her scent, a mixture of cherry and chewing gum, penetrated his nostrils, sweeping every coherent thought out of his mind. He stayed stiff, waiting for his senses to come back.

"You're the best friend I could have asked for." Lenalee softly said. "Thank you, Allen."

Yeah, best friends, Allen bitterly thought. Well, friends rather than anything. "And you're my best friend too, Lenalee."

* * *

><p>Angel sat down across Lenalee and besides Allen at the table. At her left, Matt appeared with a glass of soda and a plate filled with spaghetti.<p>

The restaurant was full, the clank of utensils and dishes and the multiple conversations filling the air harmoniously. The smell of the Italian food made Allen and Matt salivate, and soon both males were wolfing down everything on the table. It was a buffet, and before fifteen minutes had gone by, Allen stood up and went for another monstrous ration of lasagna.

"So…you're telling Komui, then." Angel inquired after swallowing a mouthful of pasta.

Lenalee nodded, "Could you…well…just be there to make sure…he doesn't…put on a show?" she unsurely requested, abashed by having to ask a favor like that.

Angel rolled her eyes and smiled, "He's going to put on a show nonetheless."

The Chinese couldn't help but smirk resignedly, "I know."

"He'll get it…eventually." Matt assured, winking at Lenalee playfully, "I mean, he can't lock you up or something."

Angel laughed, "No, but he can castrate Kyle-chan."

"Or make him flee to Mexico." Lenalee added.

"And beyond." Angel completed. By then, Allen had already returned to the table with three plates balanced on his hands and right forearm. He carefully set them onto the table and swallowed a huge piece of meat in one mouthful.

"Wow, dude, how can you do that?" Matt gaped, surprised by the subnormal amount of food the small teenager was able to ingest.

"That's the mystery of the century." Angel responded, returning for a second to that summer in which she travelled with the band and watched with her own eyes how bottomless Allen's stomach could be.

"You can try to solve it, though." Lenalee shrugged, smiling at the other female singer. It was good to appreciate her good humor in spite of all the things she had been through.

And, thinking about those things…

"You still ought us a story, Angel-chan. Don't you think I have forgotten it." She commented nonchalantly, rolling up a bunch of spaghetti strings around her fork.

Angel looked at her hollowly, utterly confused, her mouth puffed due to the food in it.

"The story of how you became Nana!"

"Ssshh!" Matt exclaimed hastily, eyeing their surroundings suspiciously, "Don't say it so loudly."

Lenalee gave him a queer look, "Why not? Is it a secret?"

Matt twisted his mouth, sending Angel a conspiratorial glance. The girl forcefully swallowed and fidgeted quietly with her fork and fingers. "Not much like a secret, but…I don't want Leverrier to find out."

Allen frowned, "Why not?" he asked, spitting pieces of poultry accidentally.

"Mouth closed, Allen." Lenalee motherly scolded the boy, "you said you weren't his daughter anymore. What happened?" the Chinese questioned with all the delicacy she could muster.

Taking deep breaths, setting her plate aside, Angel narrated what happened that dreadful afternoon last year. "-when I found the pictures of Izzie being tied to the chair, haggard and wounded, and all those letters, all I could think of was that I had been fooled for almost fourteen years. Leverrier never loved me…what kind of loving father participates in the kidnap of his daughter's best friend?" she explained, gulping to lower the knot that had formed in her throat. "I told him that I preferred being an orphan again than being a pawn. And so, I left. At first, I started working in a local bar at night, attending school in the morning and sleeping at…Mr. Fletcher's place."

"You stayed with Izzie's father?" Allen asked disbelievingly.

Angel nodded, "I…didn't have anyone else to go to. I thought about some friends, but it had been a while since I last talked to them and, well, after all those bulletins on t.v. accusing Izzie and I of being…" Angel struggled a while to find the correct word. Finally, she settled for the most known term, "'groupies', I doubted any parent could be willing to accept me in their homes. Mr. Fletcher was the only one who knew the truth, and he opened me the doors of his house gladly. Please, don't tell Izzie! I'd prefer it if she didn't know for a while…until we can smooth out our differences." She pleaded, looking wide-eyed at her friends.

"My lips are sealed." Allen promised before washing down a plate of pasta.

"What happened after that?" Lenalee inquired, leaning forward on the table to listen to the story better.

"They heard me singing while working at the bar." Angel continued, chewing absentmindedly a strap of meat, "They offered me a change of duties: instead of serving drinks, I was going to sing on the stage. I accepted. At first, I sang songs the owner of the place handed me in a list, and then I bought a guitar in a flea market and started composing. A lot of people started coming to the bar just to listen to me…" she admitted with a blush. Then, she lifted her gaze and met Matt's briefly, "Three months afterwards, Matt appeared looking for a job. He was new in town, and had been travelling all the way from Lockhart, Texas, seeking an opportunity. They told him that he could play the guitar or the piano while I sang, and, so, we started our duo."

Angel nibbled a strap of seasoned dough, interrupting her tale timidly. She didn't feel quite comfortable sharing her experiences with Lenalee and Allen, especially when she knew that her success was a product of luck rather than talent, or so she thought.

"And then?" Lenalee softly pressed.

"And then we started going to other bars, they started requesting our presence and paying us more and more." Matt responded, sensing Angel's discomfort. "Until Mr. Fletcher convinced the Auditorium's manager to hire us for the opening of Simple Plan's concert." He smiled proudly.

"That's when I decided that I should hide my identity. Leverrier never liked the idea of me going to concerts, even less me giving them. I…I don't trust him anymore, and I know way too much for him to simply leave me alone." Angel looked downcast, suddenly not hungry anymore. Her gut twisted painfully while her heart started to throb loudly inside her ribcage. Thinking about the possibility of Leverrier plotting against her made her sick, although it was highly possible. After that afternoon, all her conceptions about Leverrier's feelings and limits were utterly undone to the point that now she believed him capable of anything regardless the damage he could cause.

It was painful to think that way of the person that raised you, but she couldn't change her mind anymore. Not after all she had seen, after all the things he said.

"So I became Nana." She rapidly recovered her voice, looking at Lenalee and Allen, a wry smile crawling to her lips. "We started going from town to town to offer small concerts in bars or cafeterias, and then Black Order found us while giving a concert here."

"And that's basically it." Matt interfered, grinning widely. "There's a lot more, of course, but the core is that." One of his hands travelled furtively underneath the table up to Angel's knee, where her left hand rested balled into a fist. Delicately, the man covered the back of the fist, stroking it gently until the tendons relaxed. Across the table, Angel dedicated him a faint smile.

"Didn't Leverrier attempt anything against you?" the Chinese questioned after a long, thoughtful minute.

Angel shook her head, "I don't think he knows who I am."

"And what do you think will happen when he finds out?" Allen wanted to know from the other side, setting his food aside for a short second. A very, very, short second.

Matt and Angel exchanged a long, consternated glance. None of them separated their lips. Gently, Matt squeezed Angel's hand between his before letting it go reluctantly.

"We hope he doesn't find out." Matt confessed, "but if he does, well, then…then I shall keep Angel safe." He added with a determined frown. He didn't look specifically at Allen or Lenalee, his eyes fixated on the spot upon the table where Angel's other hand toyed nervously with a fork.

The girl looked at him, somehow surprised and touched by such confession. He had assured her a lot of times before that he was going to take care of her while she solved her problems and even afterwards. At first, it made her uncomfortable, especially because that could mean that he was going to place himself in the eye of the hurricane for her sake, but then she got to appreciate the gesture, feeling grateful inside. Even if it was just chivalrousness what motivated him to say such things and not a feeling rooted deeply inside, hearing that from a friend was equally welcomed.

Lenalee and Allen didn't seem to take it quite lightly, though. They glanced at each other, a somber of worry crossing their faces for a very brief second. Nonetheless, they both nodded, accepting Matt's statement doubtlessly.

"Well, we will help you keeping Angel safe, too." Allen contested with a sly smile, "She is our _friend _too, and that's what _friends_ do."

Matt smirked unsurely, "Yeah, that's what friendship is for."

* * *

><p>Matt opened the bar's door.<p>

It was a rather big, crowded place. There was a small lobby with a puffy, white loveseat in it. Past it, Matt could see a quadrangular bar with a hollow space in between, where bottles, cups, glasses and three bartenders were messily huddled. A LED television hung over one of the sides of the square the bar consisted in. It was tuned in ESPN, where an American Football player talked to a reporter through a microphone.

Nonetheless, very few of the people were paying attention to anything the man was saying. Almost all set of eyes were fixated on a darkened spot at the left of the entrance. There, a lonely man was seated on a stool, the profile of a guitar crossed atop his lap and a microphone set in front of him. Two weak beams of light half lit his silhouette, although it was not enough to distinguish his features from the distance.

Matt didn't pay him special attention, though. He was there to assemble some business and close a contract. He approached the bar confidently and leaned on it, waiting patiently for an employee to notice him.

"Can I help you?" a lean bartender with brown, shaggy hair, questioned. He couldn't have more than twenty years. Faint marks of acne were pocked in his cheeks and brow, and he'd have been handsome if it hadn't been for those flaws on his skin.

"I'm looking for Mr…" Matt fumbled in his breast pocket, looking for the piece of paper where the name had been hastily scribbled down by Angel hours before. "Mr. Arthur Adams, the owner of the place."

The man glanced briefly at the note and then turned around, stirring his neck to look above the crowd. He inserted two fingers in his mouth and let out a high-pitched whistle, extending his other arm to catch someone's attention. "Arthur, somebody is looking for ya' here!"

Matt raised an eyebrow, surprised by the way the bartender addressed his own boss. Keeping a straight face, Matt didn't say anything, opting for waiting in silence.

"He'll be here in a minute." The young bartender said, "Can I offer you something in the meantime? Bloody Mary, a tequila shot?"

Matt thought for a moment. He was not the kind of man to drink. He didn't like the way alcohol burned down his throat whenever he ingested it, and disliked as well the dizziness it provoked in him. For being an American teenager, Matt considered himself quite conservative in that area. Shaking his head politely, he rejected the liquor and settled for a glass of water. The bartender gave him a confused look, but obeyed quietly.

When the liquid was handed to him, he turned to his left to watch the show the bar was offering that night. The sound of guitar strings being tensed up and relaxed filled the air of the local, while a masculine's voice accompanied the melody.

_Am I better off dead?__  
><em>_Am I better off a quitter?__  
><em>_They say I'm better off now__  
><em>_Than I ever was with her__  
><em>_As they take me to my local down the street__  
><em>_I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet__  
><em>

The voice sounded quite familiar to Matt. He tried to look among the group of people that blocked his view.

_They say a few drinks will help you to forget her__  
><em>_But after one too many I know that I'm never__  
><em>_Only they can see where this is gonna end__  
><em>_They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense__And my mates are all there trying to calm me down__  
><em>_'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town__  
><em>_I'm swearing if I go there now__  
><em>_I can change your mind turn it all around_

There was a moment in which the crowd parted for few moments and he caught the glimpse of a patch of red hair. His lips pursed and an unsettling sensation dwelled in his chest. Before he could get a better view, a man tapped him on the shoulder and he was forced to turn around, the music still resounding throughout the entire bar.

_And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words__  
><em>_And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred__  
><em>_Dialed her number and confess to her__  
><em>_I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing__So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences__  
><em>_I know if I'm face to face that she'll come to her senses__  
><em>_Every drunk step I take leads me to her door__  
><em>_If she sees how much I'm hurting__  
><em>_She'll take me back for sure_

"Charly told me you were the one looking for me." a black haired man said, pointing with his thumb to the young bartender that had helped Matt.

"Oh, yes." Matt straightened on his seat and cleaned his hands on the side of his pants before extending one of them to the man. "I'm Matthew Evans, Nana's co-worker."

The owner nodded, as if he already knew his identity, and shook his hand amiably. "Arthur Adams, although you already know that." he smiled. Dark stubble shadowed his jaw, fused with a prominent mustache atop his mouth. His eyes were of a vivid blue, the color matched with a long-sleeved shirt of the same tonality.

"Well, I guess you came here to discuss about our offer." He inferred, sitting down on a stool beside Matt's. The musician turned around, slightly disappointed by how the man's head blocked his view of the stage.

"Nana wasn't able to come, so I'll close the deal in the name of both. She apologizes, but she had another engagement." He excused, not quite comfortable with the idea of lying. Well, looking at it from a specific point of view, Angel _did_ have an engagement, with music, and the reason she wasn't able to go to the bar was because she had to stay at home writing down the lyrics of their next single. Black Order Corporation had offered them the opportunity to record a song and sell it on iTunes, testing how the audience was to take their music before they thought about recording an album. Angel was quite excited by this idea, albeit tensed up. This was their first, big test, and the song had to be amazing to catch the audience's attention. They had already recorded a CD as an independent production, but having another financed by a large corporation meant a larger range of customers to satisfy.

"It's okay, it's okay." Arthur assured, dismissing the matter with a movement of his hand. "Well, then, what about Friday night? One of the singers called and cancelled her show, so I have that space empty to fill."

Matt repressed a flinch of disagreement. They didn't have any engagement that day, but he had never liked the idea of working on Fridays. Anyway, they were at the disposition of the owner and they had already made Arthur wait too long for an answer. Moreover, Reever, one of Black Order executives, had hinted to them that the high officers were considering the idea of sending them off in a tour with another musician. The sooner Angel and he dealt with their other engagements, the better.

_And my mates are all there trying to calm me down__  
><em>_'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town__  
><em>_I'm swearing if I go there now__  
><em>_I can change your mind turn it all around__And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words__  
><em>_And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred__  
><em>_Dialed her number and confess to her__  
><em>_I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing_

"Friday is fine." He reluctantly agreed, "Hour?"

"From eight to twelve o'clock. Eleven if Bookman comes."

"Bookman?" Matt inquired with a knot forming in his throat. He sent another glance to the small dais in the far wall. This time, he listened more attentively to the lyrics.

_She said nothing__  
><em>_Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing__  
><em>_Oh I got nothing__  
><em>_Nothing__  
><em>_I got nothing__  
><em>_Nothing__  
><em>_Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing__Oh sometimes love is intoxicating__  
><em>_Oh you're coming down your hands are shaking__  
><em>_When you realize there's no one waiting__Am I better off dead?__  
><em>_Am I better off a quitter?__  
><em>_They say I'm better off now__  
><em>_Than I ever was with her_"Lavi Bookman, from Innocence." The man said proudly, oblivious to Matt's sudden interest on the dais. "He comes every third day, has a drink and sometimes gets up the stage and sings."

"Oh…" was everything Matt managed to say, a slight frown appearing on his brow when he caught a glimpse of the eye-patch and vivid, green eye shinning under the lamps' light.

"Well, so we leave the matter settled like this or do you want to sign something?" Arthur proposed, getting Matt's attention back to him. The boy realized he was still scowling, and rapidly settled his expression for an amiable smile.

"Like this is okay, if you don't mind." He responded, not keen on signing anything.

Arthur smiled and hopped off the stool, stirring his muscles with a grunt of tiredness. "Well, then, if you excuse me, I shall take care of other issues." He extended a hand towards Matt, sending a sideways glance to the glass atop the bar. "And you shall be better treated here. Hey, Charly, boy! Bring our guest here our best Scotch. Jesus, these boys need to learn manners." He added in a hiss, although a smirk took off severity from the expression. Meanwhile, the boy hurried to follow his orders. "Feel as if you were in your home, please, Mr. Evans."

"Thank you, sir." The musician mumbled, unsure as if to tell him that he wasn't keen on drinking. Arthur, in spite of appearing to be gentle and polite, seemed like a man who was used to be obeyed, and so, Matt acceded to drink just one glass of Scotch.

_She said nothing__  
><em>_Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing__  
><em>_Oh I got nothing__  
><em>_Nothing__  
><em>_I got nothing__  
><em>_Nothing__  
><em>_Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing__  
><em>_Oh I got nothing__  
><em>_I got nothing__  
><em>_I got nothing__  
><em>

Matt paid attention to the last piece of the song, his mind recalling the rest of it. He let his facial expression reflect his inner emotions freely while his eyes fixated on the tremulous content of his glass. He shook it absentmindedly and took the first gulp.

The liquor ran down his esophagus effortlessly, leaving a tickling trail of fire. Wincing at the sensation, Matt drank another bit, and the sensation started to vanish slowly.

_And my mates are all there trying to calm me down__  
><em>_'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town__  
><em>_I'm swearing if I go there now__  
><em>_I can change your mind turn it all around__And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words__  
><em>_And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred__  
><em>_Dialed her number and confess to her__  
><em>_I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing_

That last part felt kind of an extra addition, quite unfitting, nonetheless, Lavi made it appear coherent with an improvised modification of the chords.

Matt disliked how that sounded. Was it something he had written to Angel? He had assured, more than assured, that he wasn't in love with her anymore, but what the song said was a complete different thing. If he was still in love with Angel, then why was he acting like such a dick towards her? Didn't he know that she still cried for him at times? Matt had heard her, faint sobs rising in the middle of the night like unsuspecting ghosts, trying vainly to go unnoticed.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he got at the singer. Downing another gulp of Scotch, Matt was preparing himself to leave when he saw the redheaded walking right into him.

Their gazes crossed and lingered there. Lavi's smiley expression hardened as he seated down on the stool besides Matt, in front of which a long, tubular container with a blue-ish liquid was set. Lavi grabbed the long glass and sipped it nonchalantly.

"So now she's sending her boyfriend to stalk me, huh? Can't she do the job on her own?" he muttered disdainfully after swallowing.

Matt glowered. "I came here to fix some business. Not everything spins around you, man."

"And does she know that?" the redheaded asked cryptically, averting his eyes from Matt.

Matt rolled his eyes, "Of course she knows that. She's getting through this without becoming an asshole, unlike _others._" He emphasized the last part of the sentence, chewing the words before spitting them out.

The hand that was holding the glass tightened its grip. "She's not getting through this. She's clinging like a filthy, pathetic fangirl."

"Oh, and you are not clinging." Matt sardonically contested, earning a sharp glare from his companion.

"I'm not."

"That's not what that song said."

To his surprise, instead of bickering back or snapping a harsh retort, Lavi smiled wolfishly at his drink. "I was naïve when I wrote that, brat."

"Naïve or in love? People use to confuse it."

"Infatuated." Lavi bluntly admitted, "Never in love. It has never been love. Angel should understand that."

"What if what she feels _is _love?" Matt sharply retaliated; pissed off by the mere idea that Angel could feel something so deep for a man like this.

Lavi gave him a look, "Then why the fuck did she leave?"

"Because it was her father! _You_ should understand that. It wasn't her fault, she had no option."

"She had an option!" Lavi barked, slamming the bar with the flat of his hand. Some people turned around to look at them, but Matt just ignored the stares. "She could have stayed! She had a home here, school, she could have gotten a contract more easily, goddamn it!"

Matt stared wide-eyed, baffled and slightly disturbed by such a display of emotions. Nonetheless, anger was deeply rooted within, so he didn't let himself be intimidated by that. "If you had to choose between your grandpa and your girlfriend, which one would you chose?" he snarled, endeavoring to get a hold of his emotions.

"I would've found a way to stay with both." He muttered.

"Imagine there's no way you can stay with both. You can only choose one. Pick."

Lavi glared at him. His eye was like melted emerald, shinning with the fire of hatred intensified by a strong agony.

"You don't know anything." Was everything Lavi said as he stood up, taking his drink with him.

"You'd choose your grandpa, wouldn't you?" Matt smugly suggested, knowing that he was right, "because you care about him, the same way Angel cared about his dad."

"_Cared_." Lavi resentfully pointed out, "I don't see that she minds that anymore."

"She found proofs." was everything Matt dared to say, aware that there were still many ears listening. "She ran away."

"Why didn't she return my calls?" suddenly, Lavi snapped, going back to the pseudo-yell. "When she escaped, why didn't she call me? Explain that, boy."

"Her father confiscated her phone. All the numbers were in there, she didn't have time to memorize them." Matt quietly responded. While he summoned for the bartender to bring the bill to him, he fixated his eyes on Lavi's face, seeking for some change in his expression that could betray his emotions.

The redheaded seemed troubled, with the shadow of anger still lingering on his green eye.

Lavi wetted his lips and blurted, "She could've come here."

"She had no money." Matt continued, "And she didn't want to bother Mr. Fletcher anymore. She still feels indebted towards him. We came here as soon as the opportunity appeared."

"That's bullshit! We could've paid everything from here!" Lavi argued. In that moment, the bill arrived to Matt's hand. He pulled out his wallet and counted the money while answering.

"You know how she is." He shrugged, "Besides, she knew that probably here was the very first place where her father might look for her."

"And she is here now, though." Lavi raised an eyebrow.

Matt left the money atop the bar and stood up, "He hasn't shown any interest in her. Bookman, that's why we're here." the grievous tone in his voice caught Lavi's attention, and he narrowed his only eye suspiciously. Matt locked his eyes with his daringly, lifting his chin haughtily. He was almost as tall as the musician, "If you ever cared about her, stop hurting her. Ignore her if you don't want anything to happen between you two, but stop throwing bullshit at her. She's been through a lot of shit. The last thing she needs is a boy's tantrum messing her mind. If she ever cries again for something you do to her, I'm gonna kick your ass, man." He finalized in an undertone, taking his leave without turning back a single time.

* * *

><p>AN: I AM SO SORRY! I know, this took like...two months? ugh, :/ But I have an excuse! I only had one week of vacations -at the beginning of June, week in which my mother sprained her ankle and I had to take care of her- and then I had to attend a course for College, in which I had four exams, awful exams, and well...that's the selection process, so I invested all my time in it. Yesterday I had my last exam, and now I have a month to wait anxiously for the results. Wish me luck!

Anyway, to make up for the wait, here there was a long chapter :D

Well, back to the story...now that I explained some things about Angel and Matt, it is time to set the REAL wheel spinning. From now on, I hope things will start going faster for all of our characters, although I think next chapter will have a bit of a filler in it.

Lavi is not THAT bad, guys, I think it is pretty cleared up with the song.

By the way, the song is Nothing-The Script, recommended by xXRedxXxMidnightxX (Did I write it right?)

Your recommendations may take a while to appear, since I have to look for a space in which they can fit along the story, so, please, be patient :D

No Kazzie here :( What about a suggestion for a Kanda-Izzie song? :D I'll choose the one that fits the best!

Well, what about rewarding me with a review now, eh eh? :D

Pd. All of the PMs will take a while to be answered. I'll dedicate my weekend to that if inspiration for Camera Flash don't get in my way :D

Have a nice weekend!


	9. Baby Steps

_Attached Strings~_

_Like a bird with broken wings_

_it is not how high it flies, but the song it sings- Courage, Orianthi ft. Lacey (Flyleaf)_

The ring of the alarm clock made her jolt. It was a high-pitched beep that drilled her eardrums mercilessly at a ridiculously early hour in the morning.

Izzie hated it. She liked waking up at the peaceful sound of her mobile's alarm clock, not this devilish whistle. Another thing that she loathed with all her heart was the clatter the stupid alarm clock made when it fell to the wooden floor. Why the hell couldn't Kanda just buy a stupid rug so the damn thing didn't make such a scandal? Or, even better, why the hell couldn't he just press the damn button instead of throwing the thing to the ground?

Izzie hissed just to let Kanda know that she was not happy. She pulled the quilt up to her head and to her side, purposely uncovering the Japanese.

Kanda growled in an undertone. The sound of sheets drifting accompanied the mattress's movement as he got up.

Out of pure vexation, Izzie rolled on her side and haughtily gave Kanda her back, grumbling during the whole process. She could almost feel his eyes fixate on her figure, like every morning, and, as always, he muttered the same damnable thing: "If you dislike it so much, go sleep in your room."

"Shut up." The girl hushed angrily and pretended to sleep.

Kanda didn't answer back. Even though Izzie couldn't hear him, she knew that he was walking across the room, barefoot. The door of the bedroom opened and closed, and the world was adorably silent again.

It was the same every morning since the day she woke Kanda up in the middle of the night to ask him if she could sleep beside him.

That first night had been almost magical, as well as the next morning. The idea of sleeping besides the one you love, as if they were already a stable couple, fascinated Izzie. She loved the way his hair and neck smelled at night, just after he bathed for the second time in the day. The glorious scent reminded her of pine and wet soil, and it elicited strange reactions in her body. Also, it made her thrilled the way she could easily drift away to sleep with his arms around her and her arms clutching him too. In those secret moments, in that little spot in the immensity of darkness, Izzie felt safe and happy.

That was until morning arrived. The first days hadn't been that hard to handle, and she kept on thinking that the stupid beep and the clatter were happenings that seldom occurred. As the days went by, however, she realized with great dismay that all of that was part of a routine, and it was only worsened by Kanda's habit of getting up at five thirty a.m.

From being dazzling, waking up together became the source of early disagreements.

What bothered Izzie the most was that Kanda never did anything to change that. She talked to him, exposed the situation clearly and proposed some solutions –like, using her mobile's alarm or let her handle the alarm clock,- but he wouldn't hear a word about it. He refused to change his habits, and when Izzie threatened him with going to sleep on her own again, the man just shrugged and muttered a cold 'do as you please.'

That was the end of it. Even a week after that argument, it still hurt Izzie to recall those last four words, as if he didn't care about her at all. Well, the truth was that now Izzie really believed that Kanda didn't give a damn about her sleeping near him or not. It didn't mean anything to him, and that indifference cut like a hundred blades. The girl didn't show it, of course, and never fulfilled her threat.

Why? Because she was stupid, Izzie concluded…_again_. And, again, she promised herself that she'll sleep on her own that night. That same promise felt more and more meaningless as days went by and nights arrived with the consequential break of the self-made oath.

And the story would repeat on the next morrow, and the next, and the next, and the next, because Izzie couldn't gather the willpower to remain locked inside her room during a whole night. She always ended up missing his warmth, his scent and even his hateful snores.

Slowly, with these thoughts blurring as one followed the other, Izzie finally dozed off.

An hour after that, somebody touched her shoulder slightly and shook her, "Izzie, wake up." A deep baritone commanded.

"Ugh, five more minutes." The girl groggily mumbled.

"I've already given you the five minutes." Kanda's voice responded, this time from farther away. Izzie heard the wardrobe's doors open with a click.

Izzie sighed, feeling like a kid. It didn't help the fact that Kanda used an almost condescending tone with her every morning, as if she was a stubborn child.

She kicked the covers away and sat on the edge of the bed, her feet touching the cold floor. Once again, the girl wished Kanda had a rug. The wooden laminates were chilly to the touch and she needed a few seconds to get used to the temperature. Kanda didn't like her wearing slippers inside his room, keeping the Japanese tradition of leaving every shoe outside. Izzie had convinced him of forgetting the rule in the rest of the house, and he reluctantly acceded, except for his bedroom.

Izzie dragged her feet out of his bedroom without sparing the Japanese a single glance. She crossed the small hall towards her room and her bathroom, where she resumed her morning duties, trying not to think about how insufferable Kanda could be.

* * *

><p>"Lenalee." He called her.<p>

Lenalee pretended to ignore him and continued walking. A knot formed in her throat, and the last argument was still fresh in her mind even though it had been…three days? Four, maybe?

His steps approached at a higher speed, and Lenalee had to make a great effort to not start walking faster. She didn't want to give away the impression that she was avoiding him, even when, clearly, that was what she had been doing these past days.

"Lenalee, please," Kyle said pleadingly. He seized her arm as delicately as he could, but the movement still guarded the typical rudeness of a football player.

The Chinese didn't turn around. She froze in place, stiff. She took in a deep breath before facing her boyfriend, "Yes?"

"I don't want this to be like…well, this." He gestured with his hand, pointing to the girl and himself alternatively, "Let's talk." The man dropped his grip, although he stared at Lenalee intensively, ready to stop her if she tried to run.

Lenalee regarded him with a sorrowful look. Suddenly, she felt the need to cry, but rapidly repressed it.

"I'm sorry." She whispered weakly, looking downcast.

Kyle's feet shifted. Some students passed near them, gazing at the couple curiously. It was well known that Kyle and Lenalee Lee were dating, at least there, in school. Nobody dared say anything, though. After some misunderstandings and problems with the press, Lenalee's classmates had learnt not to gossip where they could be heard by others.

"Stop saying that." Kyle replied. The man gently grabbed Lenalee's arm and guided her to a deserted area of the school, just behind the sports' warehouse. There, between one of the white, large edifices and the small wooden structure, not a single soul wandered.

Lenalee lifted her gaze sheepishly, her eyes wetting shamefully. Why did she always have to cry whenever she argued?

Nonetheless, Kyle didn't seem angry this time. He wasn't even looking at her, his dark eyes fixated at some spot over her head, and his lips were pursed in a tight line. For the way his eyebrows furrowed, Lenalee knew he intended to do something he didn't want to. Her heart shrank inside her chest.

Kyle closed his eyes and passed a hand through his hair, "I'll get straight to the point." He gazed at Lenalee almost coldly, as if he was talking to someone from very far away, "You're pretty, and funny and…well, amazing, and I really, really like you." Lenalee gulped. She could see where this was going. Breathlessly, she murmured, "Kyle-"

Kyle raised a hand in a command for her to stop. Lenalee shut her mouth meekly, "Let me finish," he softly requested, and continued, relentless, "I like being with you, Lenalee," _But? _"But I cannot be with someone who doesn't take this relationship seriously."

Lenalee stared at him dumbly, wide-eyed, "What do you mean? I take you seriously, Kyle, I-"

"Hiding and sneaking around is not something serious couples do, Lenalee." Kyle curtly interjected, "It is not even mature. It's been over a year now, and I've never ever seen your brother once personally."

"Is this about my brother? Kyle, I already told you-"

"That he has got a big sister-complex, I know." Kyle blurted, "But he has to know that you're not a child anymore, and you have the right to date whoever you want to date."

Lenalee closed her eyes, thin tears already streaming down her face, "I know, Kyle."

"It doesn't seem so." He coldly replied. There was a moment of silence in which Lenalee tried not to sob.

She felt his hand caress her cheek, drying the tears gently with his thumb. Kyle murmured, "I like you, Lenalee, and we're great together, but I don't want to be with someone that is not willing to formalize a relationship. We're not in Elementary School anymore."

Lenalee's lower lip quivered. "I'll tell him." The whisper practically wasn't hers. It was as if someone else, someone braver and wiser, talked through her lips. "I promise. Just give me time. I'll do it."

"How much time?" Kyle quietly whispered back, his breath tingling on her lips.

"During the tour." The woman inside Lenalee said, a plan already forming in her head, "that way, he'll have time to assimilate it before meeting you."

Kyle didn't answer right after. Instead, he kissed her softly, savoring her lips with his tongue. Lenalee sighed with relief, opening her mouth to deepen the kiss, her arms hugging his neck like they always did.

When they finally separated to catch their breaths, Kyle whispered his consent, surrounding Lenalee's waist with his arms and sealing their pact with a bolder kiss.

* * *

><p>Izzie was sitting on one of Innocence's couches, looking down at some verses Kanda was writing, when someone knocked the door.<p>

Since she was the one closest to the entrance, Izzie stretched her arm and turned the doorknob. The newcomer pushed the door and peered inside. When his eyes landed on her, Reever smiled.

"Izzie, I was looking for you." Said the blonde man.

Kanda turned to look at Reever suspiciously, while Izzie raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

Reever encountered Kanda's eyes, "Oh, don't get jealous, Kanda. We all know you have that katana with you, so we won't touch her." He mockingly said, smirking, "One of the singers needs help with a song. Her first single, in fact, and you are one of the best songwriters, so…" he left the sentence in the air, waiting for the girl to respond his unasked question.

Izzie smiled proudly. She rejoiced in the fact that she had been recognized around Black Order for being the author of six out of the ten greatest hits the Company had produced during the last year.

The girl swiftly stood up, leaving aside her pen. "Be right back." She said to everyone in the room –Allen and Lenalee were in the kitchen, while Lavi sat at the table playing random notes on the guitar.- Izzie then glanced at Kanda, who nodded imperceptibly and focused again on his notes.

"Remember that today we're going to Arthur's." Lavi reminded her from the table. "Don't be late~"

Izzie turned around, "Oh yes," casting her eyes towards Kanda, she waited patiently for his response, since they had still not decided if they were going with the band or not.

The Japanese returned her the gaze, "I'll wait for you in the parking lot." He simply said.

The girl smiled, "Alright." She prepared to stride out of Innocence's quarters when Lavi's voice called her again.

"Hey, aren't you kissing Yuu-pon goodbye?"

Kanda and Izzie glowered at him at the same time.

Allen, whose head had already popped out from the kitchen's threshold, whistled "Wow, perfect synchronization."

"No." Izzie deadpanned to Lavi, ignoring Allen.

Lavi let out a dramatic whine, "But but but but but but but….he is your Yuu-kun, your sun-and-stars, the love of your life, the father of your-"

"Ugh, Usagi, shut the fuck up and finish that song." Kanda growled, glaring at him menacingly.

"Not until Izzie-chan kisses you~ Izzie-chan, get there and kiss him goodbye!"

Izzie rolled her eyes. "Finish the song, Lavi."

Allen walked towards the table and examined the disarray of papers that lied atop it. He picked up one random sheet of paper, the one closest to Lavi.

A wicked grin crossed Allen's face as he started to read the paper out-loud.

_She thinks I'm crazy.  
>Judging by the faces that she's making.<br>And I think she's-_

Before Allen could finish talking, Kanda abruptly tackled him. Literally. Izzie observed, astonished, how the Japanese collided with the young Brit and snatched the paper away from him as they fell to the floor roughly.

Lavi hastily jumped away from the mass of limbs and hair. Right after, Kanda stood up too, clutching the paper in one hand.

"Are you alright?" Izzie asked, preoccupied. She ignored Reever's summon and walked towards Kanda and Allen, rubbing the Japanese's arm gently.

Within a second, Lenalee was there too, kneeled beside Allen. "Can't a day go by without you trying to kill each other?" she scolded motherly, trying to hide a smirk.

Making sure that Lenalee was already taking care of Allen, Izzie looked at Kanda, searching for any injury. "Are you hurt?" she softly asked.

Kanda put his free hand inside his trousers' pockets and shook his head, "Go with Reever." He murmured in the typical gentle tone he only used with her.

Izzie's eyes lingered on his profile stubbornly, "What was that?"

Even though somebody was going to ask that doubtlessly sooner or later, the question made Kanda's shoulder stiffen. He delicately brushed Izzie's hand away and said, "Nothing. Go with Reever, I'll meet you in the carpark."

The whole group watched him saunter into the kitchen. When his figure was out of sight and the click of a Coke being opened filled the room, Allen dared to speak, "Is it me, or that was a love song written by our not-so-gay BaKanda?"

"Oh, that definitely was it." Lavi exclaimed, sitting down again. He grinned at Izzie, a spark of mischief glimmering in his unique, green eye, "And it has music now."

The songwriter's heart swelled inside her chest, and a lump appeared in her throat. Before she could say anything, however, Reever started dragging her out of the room, muttering things about musicians and madness.

* * *

><p>Angel tossed another compact ball of paper into the trash bin. There, it bounced to the floor when it hit the growing mountain of similar balls of paper. She pursed her lips together and tried another set of chords in her guitar, alternating looks between the instrument and the two sheets of paper onto the table.<p>

Her quarters were similar to Innocence's, although smaller and without the huge window on the wall opposite the entrance. Matt and she had a kitchen furnished only with the counters the company provided, a small refrigerator and a coffee maker. Matt planned to buy a microwave when they received their first paycheck, but Angel sincerely didn't care. The cafeteria was only some steps away.

There was a small bathroom beside the kitchen's threshold; an old, red sofa in the principal room, accompanied by a rectangular coffee table. They also possessed a round table provided by Black Order with its respective chairs, empty shelves and their own sound equipment scattered around.

Angel gritted her teeth as she tried to find an adequate rhythm. Not too slow, not too rapid; melancholic without being depressive; a sequential cadence but not repetitive. It was harder than it seemed, and she hadn't even picked one of the two songs she had written down.

Matt walked out of the kitchen with two cans of Dr. Pepper. "Still nothing?"

Angel shook her head, not even lifting her eyes to look at him.

"Reever said he'll-" before he could finish the sentence, a knock attracted the musicians' attention. "And there he is." Matt smiled enthusiastically, swinging the door open. "Hey , Reever! And…" whatever he was going to say, it died in his lips.

Angel lifted her gaze, curious about the way Matt's exclamation had trailed off.

The male musician's figure blocked most of her vision, but above his head Angel could see manager Reever's blonde hair spiking, and a raven scalp behind.

When the newcomer spoke, Angel's blood froze.

"Izzobel Fletcher." She said courteously, and, for a moment, Angel felt transported back to Atlanta. "I've…seen you somewhere…" Angel's old friend pointed out, confusion plain in her voice.

Matt sent one nervous glimpse at Angel before responding, "Err…yes, I'm Matthew Evans."

Angel observed Matt introducing himself politely, and waving his hand to Reever doubtfully when the manager bid them farewell.

Before letting the songwriter in, Matt murmured something to her. Angel pricked up her ears to listen, and caught some random words, "I think you … Innocence…my partner…Angel…"

Upon the mention of her name, Izzie stepped back into the hallway.

Angel swiftly stood up and approached the entrance, "It is only work." she said, fixating her eyes on her friend. Izzie was smartly dressed in beige slacks and a black shirt, accompanied by black stilettos. She seemed to have gained a little bit of weight, and Angel thought that suited her better than her former skinny appearance.

Her expression was a hard one, with cold eyes that regarded her despicably. Angel gulped anxiously, "We need help and, I guess, you want the money, so let's just forget…other things and…pull this off." She proposed, forcing a smile.

Izzie narrowed her eyes. Angel noted that she was wearing a lot of black eyeliner, unlike a year before. "Was this planned?"

"We had no idea." Matt hastily replied, "I told Reever we were struggling a little, and he said he'd send someone. We never thought it'd be you."

Angel nodded, "Lenalee told me that you worked here now," she explained, deciding that it was better to be sincere about everything, even though Izzie didn't ask, "I didn't know it was as a writer, and less we thought that they'd…well…send you." Her hands were shaking, and Angel had to intertwine her fingers behind her back to hide it.

Izzie, her friend... no, this was not her friend. There was nothing left of the Izzie she remembered now. The person that she saw standing on the hallway, with the short hair, sharper features and more developed body seemed nothing like the girl that attended school with her. The first time they met, Angel didn't get to notice these changes, but now that she could observe her more, it struck her how much someone could change in a year.

Izzie's cold eyes and weary sigh matched this persona, although it'd have been strange in the other, "Fine." She muttered.

Angel half-heartedly smirked, and moved aside to let Izzie in. _Once step at a time. _She thought. After her failed intents, Angel had decided to take things slowly, approaching her former friend and boyfriend with baby-steps; adapting herself to each situation.

Deep inside, Angel thanked Reever for aiding her in this little mission, conscious or unconsciously.

Izzie walked into their small quarters with long, proud strides. Angel couldn't help but notice their similarity with Kanda's way of walking. A small frown appeared on her brow at this, but she said nothing.

"What do you have so far?" the songwriter asked, looking around curiously.

Matt immediately handed Izzie the two lyric options they had. Angel offered her a chair, and Izzie sat down, her eyes glued on the paper.

Angel sat opposite her, while Matt slumped on the loveseat with his guitar.

Now and then, Izzie lifted her gaze to scrutinize Angel with critical eyes, just to focus again on the lyrics. Finally, she leaned back on the chair and set the two papers in front of her, "You wrote this?" she asked to Angel, staring at her with those fierce, violet eyes.

Angel nodded and gulped. She could feel the heaviness of Izzie's judgment as the girl studied her face. Uncomfortable, Angel averted her gaze sheepishly, casting it in Matt's direction. The male musician stared at the scene, his expression unreadable.

Just when Angel was pretty sure that Izzie was not going to speak again, the black-haired girl stood up and approached the keyboard set on the other side of the room. She only looked back once to beckon Angel and Matt.

As the three musicians cuddled near the keyboard, dragging a chair and a stool, the songwriter said, "Both are good, but I think this one," Izzie placed one of the sheets of paper atop the small screen of the keyboard, "is the best. The structure is clearer and the impression it gives is stronger."

"I think that one," Matt pointed to the other paper, the one Izzie had rejected, "Is better…I've already worked on it, and…"

"It's too straightforward." Izzie sharply replied, "It'd be better if we have something metaphorical, like this line, _You and I walk a fragile line, I've known it all this time._ That's good." She complimented, nodding towards Angel.

Angel smiled bashfully, and sent Matt an apologetic smile. She understood why he seemed so reluctant to accept the other song, and she herself felt quite guilty. Leaning forward, Angel asked, "What if we change this part?" she quietly whispered and pointed a verse.

Izzie read out loud, to Angel's distress, pressing some keys at the same time, "_He would try to take away my pain. And he just might make me smile. But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead." _

Angel avoided Matt's stare by all means. _He said it was alright. He said he understood._ She thought to herself, and only felt guiltier.

"What about changing it for…"

"Leave it like that." Izzie proposed, or, more like, commanded. She pressed some other keys, scribbling down on the sheets of paper now and then.

Angel insisted, "There might be some other-"

"Do you want to get Lavi back or not?" Izzie snappishly retorted, leaving the pencil and the lyrics atop the keyboard to turn her face towards Angel.

The singer responded without thinking, "Of course."

"Then leave it like that." Izzie went back to her work and, for a moment, Angel thought she had seen the faintest hint of a smile on her face.

Matt didn't say anything else.

They worked peacefully for hours, Izzie trying different notes on the keyboard, changing the sounds from the classic piano to violin. Once the piano chords were written, Matt tried them on the guitar, making the necessary adjustments, while Angel sang for both. Now and then, Izzie smirked, her face resembling for a moment the one of the girl that travelled with Angel eons ago. That lifted her humor, and the song, albeit sad, had a dynamic, varied rhythm. The violin sound added the perfect amount of melancholy, and Angel thanked Izzie for that awesome suggestion.

After they tuned the very last details, Angel let out a long exhalation and leaned back on her chair, "Do you think it is gonna be a hit?"

Izzie shrugged and stretched her arms above her head, "You already have some fans, so it's not gonna be that hard for you." She tranquilly responded.

"Good news at last. That's nice." Matt responded, and Angel couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "Do the ladies want anything from the kitchen? We have Dr. Pepper…and Dr. Pepper…oh! And Dr. Pepper."

Izzie politely accepted and Angel gave an enthusiastic nod. Matt grinned at her before disappearing into the small kitchen.

Angel and Izzie stared into the distance, deliberately avoiding each other. Angel's eyes, however, flickered from Izzie to the loveseat and back to Izzie. She had never felt so nervous around her friend, and the sensation felt unnatural and made her awkward.

Seconds ticked by, and, since Matt seemed to be delaying on the kitchen on purpose, Angel finally spoke, "I like your new haircut."

Absentmindedly, Izzie caressed one side of her head, "It feels strange to have it shorter than Kanda." She admitted timidly.

"Why did you cut it, then?" Angel gingerly asked, making sure she didn't sound too nosy. _One step at the time. _

Izzie looked away immediately, and her eyes clouded with some emotion Angel couldn't name. Before she could observe more attentively, the songwriter blinked and replied, "I guess I wanted a change. Something that suited this new…lifestyle better."

Angel nodded, not knowing what to say. In that moment, Matt appeared with three cans of Dr. Pepper balanced on his big hands. "What took you so long?" Angel asked.

"I fixed some of the disorder in there." He explained, but Angel didn't believe him. Not because the tone of his voice gave away anything amiss, but because his mouth always twitched when he lied. She had noticed it before, and it surprised her how close they had become; it was as if they have known each other for a long time now.

Izzie opened her can and sipped from it, glancing at her wrist watch, "I have to go." She stated as she stood up.

Angel was about to ask her not to do so, and changed her mind instantly. _Baby steps. _She reminded herself as she escorted Izzie to the door.

Angel shifted her feet awkwardly. Why was it so hard to thank her? It didn't use to be so complicated, "Err…Iz…thank you."

Izzie nodded, "I left some ideas for the other song. See you." The ghost of a smile crossed her face. The girl turned around and strode away, while Matt and Angel watched her go.

"Well, that turned out well." Matt murmured.

Angel grinned, her heart feeling lighter, "Pretty well."

* * *

><p>AN: I know this has mistakes, but it's late night and...well...I was pretty impatient to publish.

Well, the pieces of song in here are, in order:

I must be dreaming- The Maine, suggested by Assastla The Elf

Haunted-Taylor Swift, suggested by lolekandmysi

Complete songs will hopefully appear in future chapters.

Thank you so much for your support, guys! I wouldn't be here without you.

I promise next chapter will be more exciting!

About Kanda and Izzie: This was just a glimpse of the storm that is brewing for them :D Oh, did you really think they were going to have a happily ever after? I'm not that good, guys ;)

Angel and Izzie: they are becoming friends again, yay! Izzie is not that cold-hearted, and the lyrics helped her recover a bit of the regard she had for Angel.

Lenalee and Kyle: *sighs* Lenalee, sweet Lenalee. *shakes head*


	10. Everything you do

_Attached Strings~_

_Dressed up as myself_

_To live in the shadow _

_Of who I'm supposed to be._

_We're all part of the same sick little games –Sick Little Games by All Time Low_

* * *

><p>Angel stepped into the local warily. The air smelled of liquor and cigarettes, stench that made the girl flinch. Even though this was not the first time she entered a bar, her nose couldn't get used to the penetrating, disturbing stink.<p>

She staggered under the weight of her guitar and amplifier. Angel was a petite girl, with skinny limbs and small strength. Nonetheless, she always managed to carry heavy things albeit her physical handicaps. The girl approached the performing platform, elbowing her way between the noisy customers. "Excuse me, excuse me, sir…excuse me…"

Matt's footsteps fell in behind her, following the girl closely. When Angel finally reached the dais, she let her load fall softly to the wooden surface with a dry thump.

As they prepared their instruments for the night's show, different murmurs surrounded them.

Angel knew the source of the whispers, and a secret smile curved her lips. Long strands of yellow hair fell down past her shoulders, the rest of the wig fixed in a high, puffy bun.

The recently applied eyeliner sometimes made her vision blur, so Angel had to blink repetitively to clear her vision and plug the wires where they needed to be plugged. She could still smell, beneath the liquor and cigarettes, the queasy scent of her powder and foundation. It hadn't passed more than an hour since she applied the makeup, and the strong smell of it still leaked into her nostrils.

Matt crouched between the amplifier and the electric socket. "Can you hand me the black wire?" he requested, extending his hand towards Angel.

Angel did as he bid. She let him plug the guitars and amplifiers, and focused on the arrangement of the stuff atop the dais.

A laugh, clear and loud, flew through the air, on top of the other noises. A shiver ran down Angel's spine, and she immediately stepped on her toes to look over the crowd's heads. She scanned the room thoroughly, looking desperately for familiar faces.

Allen's hair was her first reference. The snowy scalp shone in between the bunch of brunettes and blonde heads. Right beside him, Lavi's red hair pointed in every direction messily. He was wearing a bandana instead of the eye patch, and was laughing so hard that his head was thrown back, a hand clutching his stomach. Allen was laughing too, but in a more discreet manner. Lenalee and Izzie giggled elegantly at their side, while Kanda just glowered at them.

They were sitting down on a red couch that curved around a wooden table. In front of Lavi, a beer mug, already half empty, rested. Similar recipients were in between Kanda and Allen's hands. At the same time, Izzie and Lenalee sipped what seemed lemonades.

Angel averted her gaze right the moment in which Lavi recovered the composure. The girl hastily turned around and continued doing what she was doing, trying to control the furious pound of her heart. This was totally out of her plans. She never expected them to be there…she didn't… and the song she had planned to play first…

This was out of her 'baby steps' plan, and she could only hope that Lavi didn't recognize her. It was quite ironic the way the situation had turned around: at first, everything that she wanted was to catch his attention. Now, however, the only thing she prayed for was that he didn't notice her presence there. She couldn't predict the way he'd react if he saw her, and, even though Angel considered herself a pretty strong person, facing him was a perspective that scared her. His skittishness made her nervous, especially because she wasn't familiar with this side of his.

Fortunately, she hid her feelings so well that Matt didn't notice it. Once he was done with the plugging and the final arrangements, the musician glanced at Angel and nodded.

The girl half-heartedly smiled. Sheepishly, she turned the microphone on and tapped it to make sure it worked.

The thump of her finger against the microphone resounded all through the bar. Expectant faces turned around to look at her, and some others simply dedicated the duo a glimpse before returning to their business.

"Hey…hey." Angel greeted. Summoning all her willpower, she kept her eyes away from the table by her left, "I hope you're having a great time. We're going to play for a while and…well…this is called 'Firewood'. I hope you enjoy."

Matt sent her a queer look for the sudden change of plans, but said nothing. Before getting to the place, they had agreed to play one of the two single options to see how it was welcomed by the public. Naturally, she didn't count with Lavi's presence. With him sitting right there, staring at her, with that green, almost liquid eye…

Before she could get deeper into her thoughts, the melody of the song filled the air as Matt played the guitar.

_The piano is not firewood yet  
>they try to remember but still they forget<br>that the heart beats in threes  
>just like a waltz<br>and nothing can stop you from dancing_

She sang softly, almost sweetly, closing her eyes and letting herself get lost in the music. When she sang, when she heard the melodies and the music's cadence, everything around disappeared, and there was a moment in which there existed only two things: her voice and the guitar. There was nothing that could hurt or disturb her.

That was what she liked the most about music, and that was the only think that kept her sane after all the things Leverrier and Lavi had put her through.

After the song finished, Angel had recovered enough self confidence to follow the scheme Matt and she had traced for the night. He was the one to introduce the name of the second song, and started playing it once Angel gave her consent with a nod.

Fixating her eyes on the plasma TV atop the bar, Angel pretended that neither Lavi nor anyone else was sitting down at that table in the corner. She wondered if Matt had seen them, and discarded the possibility almost immediately. When he played the guitar, Matt didn't pay any heed to his surroundings. In that moment, a hurricane could be flooding everything around and the musician wouldn't even notice it.

She prayed that Lavi didn't notice either.

_I've had so many words__  
><em>_But I had no courage__  
><em>_Now we're saying goodbye__  
><em>_Don't want to miss you tonight__  
><em>_Oh, tell me it's not over now__  
><em>_I can change your mind somehow__  
><em>

_I, I give it all__  
><em>_I trip and fall for you__  
><em>_And I hope you wouldn't mind__  
><em>_Just one more try for something new__  
><em>_I need you, I need you__  
><em>

_Don't be shocked if I cry__  
><em>_You've changed me inside__  
><em>_I turned my back on you__  
><em>_You were the only reason I pulled through__  
><em>_I pulled through__  
><em>

_Tell me it's not over now__  
><em>_I can change your mind somehow__  
><em>_My head feels so heavy__  
><em>_My heart is so empty__  
><em>_I, I give it all__  
><em>_I trip and fall__  
><em>_I trip and fall__  
><em>_I trip and fall__  
><em>_I, I give it all__  
><em>_I trip and fall for you__  
><em>

Out of pure habit, Angel opened her eyes and let them wander across the room. People were staring at her, some smiling, others simply listening. A smirk curved her lips, and she continued analyzing her surroundings quietly.

When her eyes casted towards Innocence's corner, green, bright eyes met her.

She averted her gaze without a second thought, but that didn't prevent her voice from quivering a bit during the last verse.

_And I hope you wouldn't mind__  
><em>_Just one more try__  
><em>_Just one more try for something new__  
><em>_I need you__  
><em>_I need you_

Matt and Angel halted the show for a moment to receive a round of claps. The musicians dedicated each other one encouraging look, and Angel forced herself to smile.

_Please, don't let him recognize me. Please, please…please, tell me he didn't recognize me._ For some reason, she didn't want Lavi to listen to the song she had composed for him in secret. She didn't want him to be a witness of her weakness now…not now. Let him listen to the official single and know it was hers: she wouldn't be there when that happened, hopefully. She wouldn't contemplate his possible change of mood, and, therefore, wouldn't get hurt by it. Right now, Angel's plan was to give him his place and stop pushing his boundaries. Let him be and approach him slowly, very, very slowly.

This was totally out of that scheme, and she was afraid…

Still, she kept on singing, pretending that none of those preoccupations existed.

* * *

><p>Izzie sipped her drink, her gaze flickering between Lavi and Angel.<p>

Of course she knew it was Angel. Earlier that day, she heard her singing, and Izzie never forgot a voice. Angel's style was sweet, with a delicate high-pitched voice that could rise and octave upper that Lenalee's and one below Hevlaska's.

Lavi may have not recognized the voice at first, but he had a photographic memory that would ensure the recognition of the girl. Therefore, Izzie couldn't do anything but stare at the scene with curiosity.

The moment the group's eyes landed on the singer's figure, Lavi's profile stiffened visibly. His hands clutched the mug until the tendons were visible beneath the skin.

It was true that Izzie didn't trust Angel yet, albeit having to work with her. However, she could see right through the lyrics into the singer's soul. The words were so precise and her voice, so sincere, that one could only wish the girl good luck in her task of getting Lavi back, breaking down all his self-imposed walls.

Izzie thanked the heavens that she had Kanda with her. She couldn't imagine how it'd feel like to be despised by the one you love the most…

Poor Angel.

Her hand slowly travelled under the table to her right, in Kanda's direction, and curled around his fingers timidly. For a moment, she could feel Kanda's limb stiffen, before he relaxed it again. He didn't return the gesture, but left his hand where it was, allowing himself to feel the warmth of Izzie's touch. The first days, Izzie remembered, whenever she tried to intertwine her fingers with his or approach the musician in any romantic fashion, he cringed away automatically. _'That's freaking cheesy'_ he'd say, and then he'd stride away. That disappointed Izzie to unimaginable levels, although she never showed it. Slowly, as months passed by, Kanda started to get somehow used to the girl's intents, and allowed some of them as long as nobody noticed.

"She sings well." Lenalee commented nonchalantly, eyeing the scenario intentionally.

_No, don't say that…don't point out that to Lavi…let him notice by himself…_

"And the lyrics are good, don't you think, Izzie-chan?" Allen followed Lenalee up.

_You, fool!_

Izzie shrugged indifferently and let go of Kanda's hand to grab her glass of lemonade, "They ain't bad at all." Was all she said. Of course she was not following this foolish act.

All of the eyes focused and unfocused on Lavi alternatively, except Kanda's. Izzie suspected the Japanese was not aware of the person atop the dais, or maybe he just didn't care.

Lavi kept on sipping his beer, awkwardly quiet. His gleeful expression had elapsed with the second song, and his veiled eye was lost in the distance, drowned in some kind of forgotten melancholy. His face was carved in stone, but his eye was still as expressive as always, and Izzie, for a moment, felt pity for him. He was so lonely…

The mood in the table settled into a weird silence. They weren't sure if it was wise to speak or not, seeing the sudden change of Lavi's mood. The wisest thing to do would be to talk about any other subject and distract him from his brooding, but nobody said anything interesting, and Lavi kept on staring at Angel from time to time.

Finally, Allen came up with something to lift the humor, "I think tonight is karaoke night, isn't it?"

Lenalee's face lit up immediately, "Yes! After eleven o'clock, right?"

Lavi returned back to earth once he heard the word 'karaoke' be pronounced. His eyes fixated on Izzie and a mischievous smile crossed his face, returning the man to his usual self in less than a blink. "We've never listened to you singing, Izzie-chan…" he enigmatically informed.

"I don't sing well." The girl muttered, lowering her gaze.

At her side, Kanda snarled and sent her a look, "Liar."

Color attended Izzie's cheeks. She met Kanda's knowing eyes for one second, bewildered and flattered at the same time. The only ones that had heard her sing were Angel, Kanda and her own father, because she was pretty convinced that her voice wasn't made for singing.

"It is true." She quietly retaliated, endeavoring to not start another argument, "You know it."

Kanda only scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You're nothing special, but you're not bad." He blatantly said.

Izzie didn't know how she was supposed to take that.

"Well, that's quite a compliment coming from Kanda." Lenalee smiled enthusiastically, as if reading Izzie's mind, "So, it is decided…Izzie sings tonight!"

"Wait, no! I…I don't sing well, and there are a lot of people here…"

Lavi clapped his hands together, his eye shinning, "But you won't be singing for them…you'll sing for Yuu-pon!"

Before the girl could do anything to stop the redhead, Lavi pushed Allen away and nonchalantly approached the sound technician standing by the corner of the dais. Not a single glance escaped in Angel's direction, although he was only a few feet away from her.

The proximity didn't seem to affect the female either. Angel kept on singing to the people of the tables at her feet, but Izzie was quite sure that the girl was conscious of Lavi's presence. Her partner, Matt, she remembered, did notice the redhead, and sent him a sullen glare before focusing again on his guitar.

"Do you think he knows?" Allen asked in a hushed voice, leaning closer to the two females.

"Of course he knows." Izzie answered, "And she knows too, but they pretend they don't."

Lenalee set her glass aside and placed her elbows atop the table, "Did you see how serious he became during the second song? He was almost…sad, the way he was after Angel left… his expression became exactly the same one of those days."

"That's because he misses her." Allen declared, "We all know that, but, does he?"

"He knows, idiot, that's why he fucks whores all the time: to forget it." Kanda muttered in a low voice. All the eyes turned around to stare at him, surprised that he knew what they were talking about…and even gave his opinion about it. Kanda raised an eyebrow, "Stop acting like you don't fucking know him."

"It's because that's the way he makes us feel, Kanda-kun," Lenalee patiently explained, "Since Angel left…"

"He's the same." Kanda stubbornly interrupted, "He's just hiding."

* * *

><p>"I said I don't-"<p>

"And Kanda-kun said another thing~"

"But I don't!"

"Go, on, Izzie-chan!" Lavi gently pulled her hand to help Izzie onto the dais –or, more like, force her to get on it.- "You cannot sing that badly!"

"I _do_ sing badly!" Izzie protested, and that was as fruitless as her previous complains. She frantically sought Kanda with her eyes, and found him sitting down tranquilly on their small, red couch, oblivious to her situation.

After Angel and Matt left, Izzie stood up to go to the bathroom, hoping that there may be a possibility to come across her ex-best friend in the way. It didn't happen, but Izzie was sure that Lenalee had bid the duo goodbye in her name.

When she was on her way back, Lenalee and Lavi intercepted Izzie and pulled her onto the performing platform against her will, deaf to her complains.

So, there she was, standing all the curious glances the customers sent them. Lenalee pushed her as gently as she could, while Lavi shove the microphone into her trembling hands. All around her, people turned around to look at the 'brave' girl that dared sing first.

"Lavi, Lenalee…" Izzie hissed, covering the microphone with her hand. "Please?"

The Chinese girl giggled animatedly, "Just enjoy it. The lyrics will appear on that screen." The girl pointed to a plasma TV set in front of the scenario, above the bar, "Remember this is for Kanda."

Izzie blushed, "What song…?"

"I already picked it!" Lavi cackled, and hopped down the dais, "Come, Lenalee-chan!"

Lenalee patted Izzie's shoulder and murmured, "Relax, it is fun!" and left her standing alone on the dais.

"No, it's not." Izzie sullenly mumbled, but they didn't listen. Her legs were trembling, and her heart pounded so hardly that she thought it was going to jump out of her chest. She never liked the idea of people staring at her, especially large crowds; it made her knees tremble and her palms sweat.

Izzie never really comprehended how Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda and Allen and, well, everyone in the music business, coped with thousands of people looking at them, all at the same time. Once, Allen had confessed her that it still made him uneasy to walk onto stage, but that the sensation disappeared after the first songs. From that moment onwards, everything was all fun and adrenaline. No matter how much she thought about it, she still couldn't understand how it could be funny.

Izzie tried to ignore the men and women sitting down at the tables. Instead, she looked for her safe spot, the one in which Kanda was sitting down.

The Japanese was staring at her curiously, his body turned on the couch towards her direction so he could behold the girl better.

That only made Izzie's gut twitch harder.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" Somebody in a far table yelled, and Izzie suddenly realized that everyone was quiet.

"You're Izzie Fletcher, aren't you?" a young male asked.

They must have recognized her. More than three quarters of the customers were conscious of Innocence's presence, and half of them could identify Kanda's partner as well. Once or twice Izzie had caught sight of a picture of hers circulating on magazines and newspapers with ridiculous news about her relationship with the Japanese. Due to the few information that the couple let be leaked, journalists started to elaborate complicated and ultimately bizarre theories about their current situation, most of them a bunch of stupid lies created by very imaginative people.

From the other side of the bar, another girl yelled, "She's Izzie Kanda, you idiot. They say they're already married." Yes, that was one of the bizarre hypotheses she had heard of.

However, she couldn't deny the fact that she liked how 'Izzie Kanda' sounded.

"Err…no, we're not married…" Izzie bashfully corrected, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks, "Well…I…am…Izzie, and I…I really don't want to do this…so I'll just…go?" she said, as if asking for some kind of permission.

"No! You must sing something!" the same girl of the 'married theory' yelled.

"Don't be shy, sweetheart!" a male from one of the closest tables said. He was visibly drunk, and the sight of his flushed cheeks and confused eyes scared Izzie.

"If you're up, you sing. That's the rule." The sound technician by her left declared. Said this, he pressed a button in the machine at his right, and a cheerful melody filled the air.

Izzie skipped the first part, which consisted on a foolish 'do do do do' that she was not quite sure she should imitate. After that, the true lyrics appeared on the screen, turning from white to yellow as the song advanced.

_Let me introduce myself,__  
><em>_I'm all smiles.__  
><em>_You may know me as a former 'most love only last a while.'__  
><em>_Pessimistic, so realistic,__  
><em>_You get the picture.__  
><em>_I met you now my world is so much bigger._

Her lower lip quivered as she followed the song, and her voice came out shaky and high-pitched. Izzie moved away from the microphone and cleared her throat, missing half a line, and then followed the song with a little bit of more confidence than before. Albeit weak and nervous, her voice didn't sound awfully bad in the loudspeakers, and people smiled at her encouragingly, except for the jealous girls at one corner, but, by now, she was already used to the hostile, female glares.

_When you touch me, it's like the very first time.__  
><em>_I'm so lucky, to say that you're mine.__  
><em>_I still get those stupid butterflies,__  
><em>_But it's just what you do,__  
><em>_I'm loving everything you do. _

Again, she avoided the 'do do do', swaying slightly instead. A timid smile lit her countenance, and she even let herself look in Kanda's direction.

It was weird to have the positions inverted. Usually, he was the one atop the scenario, and, she, the one who contemplated everything, dazzled by his gorgeousness and talent.

She doubted he felt dazzled too, but, at least, she could read certain amusement in the way his eyes glimmered. Never before had she seen such an…almost-cheerful emotion expressing through his navy irises and his heartbreaking smirk. It made her happy to see him…well…happy too.

_Crazy how it happened so fast,  
>Truly blows my mind.<br>Going on a hunt for four leaf clovers,  
>To wake up to that smile each sunrise.<br>Whenever I'm not by your side,  
>I get home sick.<br>A little pathetic, with a dash of ooey gooey so romantic._

_Upside down off the ground, God I love you.  
>upside down off the ground is what you do.<em>

_When you touch me, it's like the very first time.__  
><em>_I'm so lucky, to say that you're mine.__  
><em>_I still get those stupid butterflies,__  
><em>_but it's just what you do.__  
><em>_I'm loving everything you do._

Before she could control herself, she held the microphone with both hands, and her gaze flickered between the lyric screen and Kanda. She knew she was blushed, because there was no way she could ignore the fact that dozens of persons were witnessing her cheesy exchange. However, somehow, she didn't care. This was not about them; this was about the way she felt, about…

_Yes sir you came and you took my breath,__  
><em>_My head is feeling a little light.__  
><em>_All right, I hope that you feel it too.__  
><em>_Yes sir you came and you took my breath,__  
><em>_My head is feeling a little light.__  
><em>_All right, I hope that you feel it too._

By the time the song ended, Izzie was so red that she imagined herself as a light bulb. Her bowels were tangled in a hard mass, and she thought she was going to faint from the embarrassment.

A round of claps followed her as she returned to her table, not looking at Kanda. What kind of madness took command of her while being on the stage?

She purposely avoided everybody's stare as well. Izzie sat down on the edge of the couch, beside Kanda.

"What? Ain't you gonna kiss him?" somebody bellowed. In that moment, Izzie realized that all the eyes were upon them…

"Kiss him!"

"Come on, boy, she sang to you! Kiss her!"

Izzie's heart pounded so fiercely that she could almost choke with it. The girl gave the crowd a dismissive smile and tried to ignore them, forcefully keeping her gaze away from Kanda. Oh God, what had she done?

* * *

><p>By twelve o'clock, Kanda was so sick of all the persons in the bar that he and Izzie decided to leave, and the rest of the band imitated them. They paid the bill and strode out of the bar.<p>

Even while walking towards the entrance, some drunken idiots dared boo Izzie and him mockingly for not kissing. Of course they were not going to kiss in front of that bunch of retarded folk. They didn't even hold hands. It was ridiculous and stupid.

And, to finish worsening his humor, Lavi never stopped babbling stupidities. He was half drunk and, his tongue, looser than ever. The stench of his breath accompanied the Japanese all the way to the parking lot.

The parking lot was subterranean, dark and almost deserted. There was only Lavi and Kanda, since they planned to pick up the rest of their companions at the entrance of Arthur's. Lavi was dropping Allen and Lenalee at their homes, although Kanda suspected that Allen was going to end up driving all the way there. After that, Kanda knew that Lavi would resume his night looking for some slut to sleep with. The redhead always concealed his promiscuous habits while hanging out with the band, because he knew the huge fuss Lenalee would make if Lavi dared bring some whore in the group. Besides, he knew that it'd made everyone uncomfortable, and Lavi was not so stupid as to ruin the night's mood. Most of the times.

"So, you're planning to have a great night, hmmm?" Lavi said, winking. "If you know what I mean."

Kanda clicked his tongue. Of course he knew what he meant, and that only irritated him more. His sexual life was nothing that concerned the stupid rabbit. He had told Izzie that he was going to wait, and wait he did, as hard as it was.

With every night that she slept by his side, his desire seemed to grow more and more. Listening to hear quiet breaths made him think of how vulnerable and, well… desirable she was, and the way she always pressed herself against him awakened his lowest instincts. It didn't help the fact that he knew that she never wore any small clothes underneath the pajamas.

"Oh, c'mon, don't be so sullen!" Lavi laughed and poked his cheek, "How is it, huh? Having sex with her?"

Kanda slapped his hand and stepped away from the stupid rabbit, "That's none of your business."

"Oi, oi, it cannot be that bad!" the redhead insisted, "Izzie is cute. I still remember how flustered she was when she told me about the contraceptive pills!"

That immediately called Kanda's attention. He hastily turned to look at Lavi's darkened profile, halting his walk halfway to his Audi. "She told _you_?!" he grunted, unbelieving the redhead's words.

Lavi regarded him with a questioning look, "Yes, she asked me if it was okay, didn't she tell you?"

She told Lavi…LAVI! And she tried to hide the stupid pills from Kanda, why?! He was her boyfriend, not the idiotic rabbit. Why didn't she tell Kanda instead? Didn't she trust him? Did she trust Lavi more or what?

Kanda growled, frustrated, betrayed and furious. What the hell did Izzie think he was going to do? Tell her to not eat the freaking pills? Those were couple problems that only couples should try to solve, not stupid, promiscuous men.

The Japanese stalked to his vehicle, purposely ignoring Lavi's questions. He could not stand the sight of him right now. He wondered if he'd be able to stand Izzie's sight as well…

* * *

><p>AN: I know it's been AGES. But I have a good excuse!

I entered university and it's my first year and...well...you know how it is. It's madness! I've had time for nothing until now, and I decided to type this chapter.

Part of it is a filler, I know...but, well...I like fillers.

I apologize for any mistakes. This was not written with the previous carefulness, due to, you know, time -or lack of it-

I'll respond to your PMs as soon as I can! I'm sorry if I hadn't done that yet. I just thought that some of you preferred to read the continuation of this story, so...here the story is...but I will answer, I promise! Just give me some time :(

Check out my profile! There are some cool Attached Strings' Sims that SapphiePeanut45 made! I promise they are cool!

Songs:

Firewood- Regina Spektor

I give it all- He is We, a recommendation SapphirePeanut45 made.

Everything you do- He is We, a recommendation of ShadowHex27014.

I'm sorry if I still haven't used some of the other recommendations. I'm just putting them where I think they fit, and some of them won't fit until the last chapters. Please, be patient. :S

What about a review for staying up late night to publish this when I can as well be sleeping since I don't have time for that lately? :D


	11. Fortune Teller

_Attached Strings~_

_I don't know why you're acting like this_

_I don't know why you have to do it again_

_Why you have to go and ruin the night_

_Don't worry about tomorrow's mess- Fortune Teller, Maroon 5_

Izzie climbed into the Audi as soon as it parked near her. She bid her friends a hasty goodbye from the window and rapidly fastened her seatbelt.

Kanda drove tranquilly through the streets, his eyes fixated on the road and the city lights. Izzie was glad he didn't drink too much this night or, otherwise, her nerves would have been on edge.

However, there was something in his countenance and his silence that she didn't like. After the karaoke thing, she expected him to have a lighter expression or, at least, to stop scowling all the time. Instead, his eyebrows were furrowed and, his mouth, pressed in a thin line.

Just when she was about to ask what was wrong, her mobile vibrated. The girl extracted the device from the purse and read the text message.

_From: Lavi, 00:17_

_Did you tell Yuu-pon about the pills?_

She blinked, confused. Why was he asking this now? She blushed at the mere thought of confessing to Kanda her little secret. How could she tell him something like that without stuttering?

Izzie immediately suspected something was amiss. Kanda's demeanor, Lavi's question…the redhead and the Japanese had been alone for a pretty long time while they went for the vehicles, and Lavi was tipsy…did the alcohol loosened his tongue?

_To: Lavi, 00:18_

_What did you do?_

_From: Lavi, 00:19_

_Talk to him. Try NOT TO FIGHT. In the end, he is right._

Izzie could be clueless at times, but she wasn't blind enough to not see THIS coming. Oh, dammit…Lavi, what did you do?

Just to make sure, she sent another message.

_To: Lavi, 00:21_

_Right about what? What did you tell him, Lavi?_

She didn't know what kind of answer she wanted, but, certainly, it was not the one she received,

_From: Lavi, 00:24_

_You should have been the one to tell him. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you problems. Just try to fix it. Good luck :*_

And that was the end of it. Izzie recognized a dismissal when she saw one, and she knew that Lavi was not going to send any more messages for the rest of the night. Sighing, with her heart throbbing painfully inside her ribcage, she put her phone back into the purse and glanced at Kanda.

His eyes were focused on the road, but she noticed his shoulders were stiff and square.

He knew. Izzie closed her eyes and discreetly took a deep breath.

He knew.

_Fuck you, Lavi. You ruined everything._

She licked her lips, unsure of what to say. She knew she had to say something, at least offer him an apology, but the words escaped from her reach. How do you tell your boyfriend that you started to take the pills just in case _something_ happened? For other people, it'd be easy, almost casual, but to Izzie…it was a whole drama. Sex was almost a taboo for her, and contraceptive methods had been out of her preoccupations until now… So, how could she talk with Kanda about something like that?

Izzie gulped and decided to start from zero, and pray that God put words in her clumsy mouth, "I-" Should she say how sorry she was?

_No_, she thought, _make it look casual._ "It was Lavi." She commented as nonchalantly as she could.

Kanda's grip on the steering wheel tightened, and his countenance became more somber than before. A little too late Izzie realized she used the wrong approach.

The words tumbled out of her mouth mindlessly, "I-I mean…he…he said that you….." Izzie herself felt surprised by the way her own voice trembled; even her hands were shaking. Why was she so nervous? This was not the first time they were on the edge of another argument…so, why did she have this sense of dreadfulness?

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he didn't say anything neither looked at her. Whenever he got angry, Kanda bitched and swore restlessly, piercing her with his fiery, blue eyes. Now, he seemed cold and aloof, as if he despised her so deeply that he couldn't stand the sight of her.

"See…I know…." Izzie took a deep breath, "I was scared. I…Kanda, please…at least look at me, just let me expl-"

"What if I wanted to have a baby?" he abruptly interrupted her in a hoarse voice.

The question took Izzie aback. She gaped at him, blinking like an enlightened owl. She couldn't avoid asking, "Do you want a baby?!"

Kanda clicked his tongue disdainfully and snarled, "Of course not, but what if I wanted one?"

Where the hell did this come from?

"I don't get it…" Izzie confessed, bewildered and confused. She looked out the windscreen to the suburbs, realizing suddenly that they were close to home. For some reason, she was afraid to arrive.

"Of course you don't get it." Kanda snorted, turning his face away from hers.

His exclamation exasperated Izzie. "What about explaining, huh?" she challenged him, then, she sulkily muttered, "I hate it when you talk in riddles."

Kanda dedicated her an intense glare for a fraction of a second, "Is it too complicated for you or do you really understand so little?"

Alright, that was low, even for him. Izzie was trying to fix things. She knew she did something wrong, and intended to make things right, but how could she act regret when he insulted her so blatantly?

"Can't we just have a normal conversation?" she scornfully questioned.

"Apparently, no." Kanda coolly stated. By then, they were already in front of the house. Kanda drove the car into the garage with expert movements, "But you can have it with the stupid usagi, can't you?" he spat out, turning the engine off and getting out of the car. The slam of the door shook Izzie's bones to the marrow.

Izzie imitated him, "Well, it is not my fault that it is easier to talk to him than to you!"

Kanda glowered at her from the other side of the black Audi. The garage gate slid down, concealing the couple from the onlookers. At the same time, their surroundings darkened, and everything that Izzie could see was Kanda's blazing eyes, "Then what the fuck are you doing here? Go fuck him and leave me alone!" said this, he turned around and entered the house.

Izzie stared at the wooden door blankly, not believing Kanda's harsh words. How could he say things like that? How could he pretend that he didn't care? Could it be true, then, that he didn't give a damn about her? If she went right now and became one of Lavi's prostitutes, would Kanda feel at least a little bit lost, or perturbed, at least?

Darkness embraced Izzie, and she noticed coldness running down the sides of her face. It took her several minutes to realize she was crying. Ashamed and furious, Izzie entered the house, stalked across the living room and caught sight of Kanda in the kitchen through the arch that connected both rooms.

The sight of him opening a can of Dr. Pepper irritated her to unimaginable levels.

Izzie stepped into the kitchen, opened the first drawer and threw the half-empty box of pills onto the table, "There. Big deal." She dryly exclaimed, her voice surprisingly steady.

Kanda looked at the table, at the small box, and said nothing…not a single inquisition after her health, not a single question about the side-effects…no nothing. Just like he didn't care…

Izzie ranted aggressively, "Why should I tell you things when you don't give a fuck about how I feel, Kanda? You never listen and never want to talk. You say you're not a bastard looking for sex, but the truth is that the only couple stuff we do is make out, and make out, and make out-"

"You don't fucking tell me anything!" Kanda rudely defended.

"I tell you things and you don't care! I, on the other hand, have to deal with all your lusty habits and…"

"Don't you dare say I forced you, bitch, because I-"

"What?" Izzie gasped, eyes wide- open. It was as if they had punched her in the stomach, taking all her breath away. How…how did he call her? She had to repeat it to herself…. Never before had Kanda called her like that…he knew she didn't like it, he knew it was the top of the insults to her…and yet…

Kanda was about to continue his rant when he realized his mistake. He only stared back at her, anger slowly draining from his face, "Izzobel-" He stepped forwards, but it was already too late for apologies. Izzie ran out of the kitchen, climbed the stairs and shut her door close soundly.

* * *

><p>The alarm clock sent a shiver down his spine.<p>

With hasty, clumsy movements, Kanda's hand slid towards the alarm clock's button, throwing the device to the floor in the process. If the annoying beep didn't wake him up, the clatter did. Groaning, the man sat up, his feet searching for the coldness of the floor. He stayed there, waiting for…for something. The room was oddly quiet, and no noise besides his own breathing flew through the air.

Some seconds had to tick by for him to remember. Kanda sighed, closed his eyes and slumped on the empty bed again.

He called her bitch.

He told her to fuck Lavi.

He fucking called her bitch.

And she didn't come to sleep by him. That could only mean that she was really, really upset.

But, then again, it was not his fault. Kanda couldn't believe that she started to take the contraceptive pills without asking for his opinion. They were a couple, weren't they? This is the type of decisions you take after consulting with your partner. Kanda was conscious of the risks that taking the contraceptive pills carried, and, if Izzie had asked him, he would have told her that there were other methods, but she took the decision on her own.

Not, not on her own. She ran to Lavi in search for advice about their sexual life. That was something private that only concerned Kanda and her. Why didn't she come to him? What was so difficult about telling him what she planned to do? Didn't she trust him?

How could she not trust him? He was there when she cried…most of the times. He sat beside her, or just listened to her in the quietness of the night. Kanda gave her a roof, food and security without asking anything in exchange. Didn't he deserve at least a little bit of consideration? Did his opinion mean nothing to her?

Kanda sighed and stood up, his stomach tightened in a hard knot. This whole situation was so wrong. He should be the angry one, and he was vexed, but a tinge of guilt threatened to erase all that anger. Perhaps he had been too harsh on her… He still remembered her expression after he called her…the way he called her. Hurt was written all over her face.

Kanda shook his head and approached the wardrobe. He pulled on a white shirt and changed his sleeping pants for something more apt for exercise. As he opened the door to exit the room, the corner of his eye glimpsed a pink square pasted on the door. Curious, he turned around and jerked the post-it off the wood.

_I'm sorry._ It prayed in clear calligraphy, obviously, Izzie's one. Kanda could recognize that cursive style anywhere.

Something in Kanda shifted, and he even discovered himself smirking. However, the previous bitterness numbed the sensitive fibers in him. Kanda returned the post it to the door and descended the stairs in direction to the small dojo.

As he crossed the living room, the high notes of Minueto reverberated through the walls. Kanda looked at the clock. It was five thirty in the morning, and Izzie never woke up at this hour. Thus, Kanda warily walked towards the dining room they had converted into a music room.

Izzie was sitting there, in front of the piano, with her back to him. The instrument extended in front of her, and he could appreciate her fingers moving masterly from one end to the other of the keyboard. She was still wearing the outfit she used in the bar, and her hair fell in messy knots. Her shoulders were slumped; as if the girl had no energy to do anything else but play.

After finishing that song, Izzie stretched her arm towards the notebook she always kept atop the piano. That was where she wrote all her songs, the ones that she didn't sell to anyone because they were too personal for that. Kanda himself had only read one or two of them, and just because she asked for his opinion.

He still remembered those days with certain satisfaction. After she started working for Black Order and he entered College, they haven't had many opportunities to write songs together. It marveled Kanda the way Izzie could find the exact words to express her feelings so swiftly. Words were always a problem to him. He could compose any melody they asked him to and add music to the lyrics, but he stuck when he had to write the lyrics himself. Just twice or thrice had a song been completely his, and those were quite exceptional moments of inspiration. Kanda was always going to prefer wordless communication.

_When the days are cold_

_And the cards all fold_

_And the saints we see_

_Are all made of gold_

_When your dreams all fail_

_And the ones we hail_

_Are the worst of all_

_And the blood's run stale_

_I want to hide the truth_

_I want to shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

Her voice rose through the air, clear and soft. Even though she said she sang badly, Kanda liked the childish, high-pitched notes she reached.

He was about to reach out and sit by her when he remembered their previous argument. Anger flared in his insides and he turned around to leave.

"I'm sorry." She suddenly murmured.

Kanda stayed by the threshold, undecided about if he should leave or stay. She was apologizing, wasn't she? And that was what he wanted her to do, after all.

When he didn't respond, Izzie shifted her position so she could face him directly. Kanda noticed her eyeliner had been poorly cleaned off, and the eyes were glossy and pleading. It unsettled him to notice that she looked pretty even now… wait, what?

"I was scared, Kanda." The girl mumbled, downcast, "I _am_ scared. I don't know what you want from me…I don't know how I should act. I…" she closed her eyes and inhaled profoundly, "I was trying to make things easier, and…"

"You should have told me." Kanda icily stated.

"I know." Izzie sighed, "But I was scared."

Scared? What was there to be scared of? This sounded roughly like bullshit. Kanda played with the option of leaving, but something in Izzie kept him here… he observed her closely, and the sight of her messy makeup and puffy eyes transported him back to those critical days in which her father left her to die.

In spite of the different hairstyle, the weight gained and the more mature aspect, Izzie was still the same girl that was abandoned to her luck a year and a half ago. Kanda sometimes forgot that. Since he grew up practically alone because Tiedoll was always travelling here and there due to work, Kanda was used to loneliness and independence. He took his own decisions, and accepted the responsibilities that they carried along. It was different with Izzie. Her father protected her from everything after her mother's death and she grew up sheltered and comfy. All this independence surely unbalanced her even now, a year after. Sometimes, it was hard to remember that she was only seventeen, just about to turn eighteen –in a couple of days, in fact-.

Kanda closed his eyes and sighed. Why did she have to give him _that_ look? Did she know what it did to him?

"Whatever," Kanda said. He tried to sound nonchalant, but his voice came out softer than before. He left the room before Izzie could say anything else, avoiding her face on purpose.

Kanda walked to the dojo in silence, his head working out the possibility of forgiving her. However, there was something that kept him from taking that decision. He could tell her that it was okay, that they could leave it all behind, but Kanda knew it wouldn't be a sincere statement, because he still felt resentful by the fact that she ran to Lavi instead of going to him. He couldn't understand her actions, and, as long as he could not do that, he wouldn't be able to forgive her completely.

"_We're different."_ He thought bitterly, _"Maybe too different"._

* * *

><p>"<em>Black Order has finally released the identity of the band that's going to travel with Innocence around Europe in their tour 'Attaching Strings'" <em>the handsome woman announced from a red loveseat. Excited exclamations and high-pitched voices resounded all through the set and out of the television's speakers.

On a screen behind the woman, the photograph of Angel and another young man appeared. They were both smiling nervously at the camera from what seemed to be a recording studio. Angel's hair was as long as ever, tied up in a high ponytail, and she was wearing a white, Polo shirt.

"_If you are one of Innocence's veteran fans, you surely remember Angela Leverrier and Izzobel Fletcher's scandal."_ The host said, all fake smiles and makeup, "_As you may all know, Izzobel, better known as Izzie, is in a current relationship with the bassist Kanda Yuu." _Cries of anguish and disappointment filled the set for a moment. _"I know, I know,"_ the woman said, shaking her head, resigned to the reality. _"But Lavi Bookman is still free! Opposite to what everybody believed, Angel and Lavi didn't get back together. This was confirmed yesterday by the singer himself, who left it very clear."_

In that moment, the photograph was replaced by a video, in which the redhead musician was being harassed by a horde of journalists while he tried to make his way out of Black Order Edifice.

"_How do you feel about having to travel with Angel?"_

"_Are you getting back together?"_

"_Did you know that she is Nana?"_

"_Were you the one who got her and Matthew Evans the contract?"_

Lavi shoved away some microphones as gently as he could and tried to be patient, although his own vexation leaked unconsciously through her eyes, _"We're not going to get back together. Her contract with Black Order has nothing to do with me, and any communication with her will only take place when professionalism demands it. Thank you."_

The video stopped then, and cameras focused on the blonde host, _"Well, I guess we still have an opportunity, right?"_ the woman giggled girlishly and smiled, _"We tried to contact Malcolm Leverrier to listen to his opinion about all this, but our informants told us that the judge signed Angel's emancipation and the singer is no longer living with him. We tried to ask her about this, but the girl denied us any kind of information. However, her co-worker, Matthew Evans, insinuated us that it has something to do with Izzie's hijack a year and a-"_

Leverrier turned the television off and reclined on his seat, strangely calm. The studio was quiet except for the crack of the fire in the chimney, and that helped him focus on this unexpected situation.

Angel was famous. He didn't really count with this. Leverrier knew that Angel liked music and that she had a good voice, but he never imagined that she could reach fame. When he signed the emancipation act, he believed that the girl was going to work as a waitress or something to pay her studies. This was totally out of frame.

He wouldn't worry about it if she didn't know anything about Izzie's kidnap and the fraud. Unfortunately, she knew, and now that she was a public figure, her accusations were not going to pass unnoticed.

This was bad.

The knock on the door interrupted his line of thoughts, "Come in." he commanded.

Link walked into the room with long, proud strides. On one hand, he carried a clipboard and a manila envelope with what Leverrier supposed were the reports of the week.

"Did you watch it?" the assistant inquired, glancing at the black screen of the small television.

Leverrier nodded. Link handed him the papers and observed the judge's countenance, "What are you going to do? If she speaks…"

"I wouldn't worry about her." Leverrier said at last. He was quite confident about the fact that Angel was not going to open her mouth; she was not that stupid. What worried him was the amount of information her friend possessed, and the things he was likely to say. So far, he said too little, but that too little could drive people to make questions and discover what was behind the fraud of a year ago.

"The boy?" Link guessed, expressionless as ever.

Leverrier nodded. He flicked through the documents, reading the titles absentmindedly, "Good thing they're going to Europe."

Link raised an eyebrow. He didn't have to think too much to know what Leverrier meant, "Noah family again? They failed the last time."

"No. Mikk failed the last time." The judge sharply corrected, "Angel and her friends accused them and made them flee the US. Everybody knows the Noahs are resentful people."

Link stared at the flames in the chimney while he processed the information, "You want Angel to believe it is all for revenge?"

"Yes."

"Noahs will do it with or without a pay, why do you want to hire them?"

"I want Lulubell to lead it." Leverrier abruptly said, deciding it in the same moment he blurted it out, "And I don't want Angel hurt."

Link blinked and questioned Leverrier with a confused stare. The judge smirked and lit up a Havana cigar, "Tell them to deal with the boy."

* * *

><p>AN: I know I'm a horrible person for publishing without finishing answering PMs and reviews yet :( But...I have a good excuse! Most of this chapter was written between classes and study hours in my cell phone. I know, I'm a little bit creepy for doing that but, well... I had to write the continuation of this!

I don't think I'm gonna be able to get any contact with Fanfiction during three weeks or so, because I'll have exams and stuff. I promise I'll respond to all PMs and reviews as soon as possible, it's just that some of them are so long that, in order to give a coherent and complete answer, I have to sit down and type tranquilly...and I need time, which I certainly don't have. In fact, right now I should be sleeping because I won't get enough time for that soon...anyway, I'm just saying stupid things. However, you can always find me on Twitter (marimuse).

Song: Demons by Imagine Dragons (RedTheAmazing, thank you!)

I'll go now. Wish me luck in my exams! And what about a review to make me happy? Or coffee? I've become addicted to coffee.

Ps. For the ones who believed that Leverrier was going to aim for Angel...oh, no, no, no. Life has unpredictable ways.

Ps2: Kanda and Izzie drama has started! I was really looking forward to it! I'm an evil human being.


	12. Music on planes

_Attached Strings~_

_Go spin circles for me_

_Wound relentlessly _

_Around the words we used to sling- From a mountain in the middle of cabins by Panic! At the Disco_

_(The video described here is fictional. Any similarity with reality is coincidence, especially you, Elijah. Fuck you.)_

With a huff, Matt put his luggage and Angel's onto a table for inspection. The policeman opened the suitcases and examined its content with an expression that made Matt believe that work was the most boring of jobs.

Angel was by his side, chatting amiably with Allen. Behind Allen, Izzie stood in an awkward silence. Matt thought it was weird that she was not with Kanda, but didn't ask about it. The rumor was that they had a big fight, according to something Lavi told Lenalee and Lenalee told Allen and Angel. They didn't give out details, just that Izzie and Kanda's relationship was not in its best moment. Matt always wondered why the sweet, polite girl Angel had described him could be with someone like Kanda. They were completely different. Anyway, it was not his business. If they wanted to tell him, they'd tell him.

The policeman told them that everything was alright, and he tied a tag on both handles and put them on a cart together with their music equipment. Matt still couldn't believe the ridiculously high taxes they had to pay in order to get the guitars and amplifiers on the plane. Fortunately, all that money ran on Black Order's account.

"I still can't believe we're going to Europe!" Angel exclaimed for the third time in the day.

Matt smiled. She reminded him of a little girl on the first snowy day of the year. He passed an arm around her shoulders and smiled, "I know. You have never been to Europe, right?"

Angel shook her head, "You?"

"Nope." He admitted. He was excited too, and his feet couldn't stop shifting from the emotion. Finally, he couldn't contain it anymore and exclaimed, yanking a fist in the air, "We're going to Europe, baby!"

Angel heartily laughed. It gave Matt goose bumps, like it happened whenever he listened to awesome music. Perhaps it was because hearing Angel laughing was like listening to Freddy Mercury's live concert to him.

Of course, he pushed that thought to some remote corner of his head. He knew these feelings could risk his friendship with Angel and, no matter what, Matt didn't want to push her away. He knew she needed him, and, somehow, Matt needed Angel too.

The icky feeling of being observed installed in Matt's head. As a matter of reflex, he turned around, and caught Lavi Bookman glaring in his direction from the end of the queue. Matt scowled at the singer and then ignored him. Allen must have seen the exchange too, because after he had his stuff revised, he approached Matt and Angel and said, "Wanna go for a cookie?"

Matt cocked an eyebrow, "Just one cookie?"

"He means a HUGE cookie." Angel chuckled, "I think I saw a Starbucks somewhere near here."

"Yeah, that was exactly what I was thinking." Allen responded. As if remembering something, he looked back, in Izzie's direction, and called her gleefully.

Izzie walked towards them sheepishly, "Yes?"

"Wanna come with us?" Angel immediately asked. Matt smiled sadly. She was trying so hard to get things back to the way they were that her endeavors were heart-breaking.

Izzie blinked, surprised by the sudden invitation. She looked back at Kanda, who was waiting in the queue right behind Lavi. From what Matt could grasp, she was not used to move around without the Japanese, "You can come alone, you know." He mindlessly said, and flinched when Angel elbowed him.

Izzie jolted, as if not expecting his comment. She casted her eyes in their direction again and smirked, "Yeah…yeah, of course. Let's go."

The four of them strayed from the revision area. Some people dedicated them second glances and even murmured, which made Matt feel slightly uncomfortable. Was it going to be like this every time they went out?

However, nobody bothered them directly. They paid a coffee and a dessert each one and seated down at a table near the glass door, from which they could see their companions clearly.

A few awkward minutes ticked by. Matt noticed Angel toyed distractedly with her straw, and Matt knew that was a sign of nervousness. The girl was not comfortable yet with Izzie's presence. She probably was afraid of whatever her old friend could snap, although the songwriter hadn't acted rudely towards her lately.

After swallowing a piece of a huge cookie, Allen said, "So…Ebola. That must hurt."

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Really? Is that the best topic you could think of?" he mocked.

The keyboardist huffed and rolled his eyes, "I can talk of other things, but there are ladies here."

"Oh, come on, Allen," Angel laughed, "You're the most innocent guy in this city."

"Now that you're in the music industry, Angel, there's something you need to know" Allen replied, sipping his coffee nonchalantly, "Nothing is what it seems."

"And with that, ladies and gentlemen, we close the dramatic episode of 'Life's Lessons with Allen Walker.'" Matt raised his cup of coffee in a toast sign, "To the wise Allen."

Angel laughed and clashed her cup with Matt's. On the other side of the table, Izzie sniggered while Allen pouted, "Laugh all you want, but I know what I'm saying." He said.

"Oh, and I believe you." Matt defended, "I just like to make fun of you."

"Don't you say." The keyboardist sarcastically commented, "Don't make too much fun of me, Matt, or you can regret it." He menaced him with his classic, creepy smile, which didn't scare the musician at all.

After an exchange of a few, trivial words, Allen stood up from the table and summoned Matt. The boy cocked an eyebrow at the unexpected call, "Yes?" he blurted out a bit too harshly.

"Can you come with me?" the keyboardist requested in a gentle voice, "I think I left my wallet on the counter."

"No, you took-"

"I think I left it." Allen repeated, lifting his eyebrows emphatically.

"No, I saw you taking it." Matt insisted, frowning at Allen's weird behavior. He was sure the white-haired put away his wallet after paying for the coffee and the huge cookie.

Exasperated, Allen stormed to Matt's side and pulled his blazer to make him stand up, "Can we have a talk outside, Matt?"

"What for?"

"Boys stuff." Allen smiled. He looked at Izzie and Angel, "Would you excuse us, ladies?"

"Do we have an option?" Izzie raised an eyebrow. Matt stared at her, not knowing if she was teasing them or was really pissed at Allen's indiscreet demeanor.

Still confused, but more-less getting an idea of what Allen wanted, Matt excused himself and accompanied the boy outside the small coffee local. There, the keyboardist walked to a corner from which he could see the two girls through a window without them knowing.

"You're a little bit slow, ain't you?" he commented absentmindedly after a while.

Matt stood behind him, "You talk in riddles, man."

"Nope, you're just slow."

"Nobody would've got that!"

"_Everybody_ would've understood that!" Allen laughed and shook his head, "Now, let's watch."

Matt frowned. From this angle, he couldn't see Angel's face, but, in his mind, he could almost picture the girl looking downcast and playing with her fingers. He didn't like the idea of her being alone with Izzie. Even though the songwriter had been quite nice during the last weeks, he still feared that she could say something hurtful to Angel. He wished he could be there to protect her, but he knew that Izzie wouldn't talk as long as Angel was accompanied by him.

Therefore, all that Matt could do now was observe and hope for the best.

* * *

><p>Angel toyed absentmindedly with her cookie, taking pieces of chocolate little by little. Needless it is to say that Izzie's presence still made her nervous. Her friend didn't seem angry anymore, but in her eyes Angel could see distrust. It was going to take a lot of time to make her believe in Angel again, and that hurt. She still remembered those days in Junior High School, where Izzie and she could chat and laugh for hours and hours. Now, it was hard to even start a conversation.<p>

From the corner of her eye, she saw Izzie stare out the transparent door. Angel knew what she was looking at without even asking. Remembering the tale Lenalee had told her, she gathered her courage and delicately inquired, "Are you okay?"

Izzie averted her eyes from the door and slowly fixated them on Angel, "I guess they told you." She dryly said.

Angel bit the inside of her cheek and nodded, "It'll be alright." She assured, not knowing what else to say.

Her friend sipped the coffee silently. Just when Angel thought she was not going to say anything else, Izzie exclaimed, "I wish he tried to be a little bit understanding."

Angel nodded, noting a checkmark in the inside of her head: Izzie was willing to talk about her problems with her. That was quite an important step.

"He…doesn't want to fix things?" Angel hoped she was not being too nosy. She couldn't ask direct questions, because that could push Izzie away. Most of the time, Angel felt as if she was trying to capture a bird. She had to approach cautious and inconspicuously, watching out every tiny step. It was hard to keep the pace, and sometimes she despaired, but she knew this was the best, if not the only, plan with opportunities to succeed.

Izzie shook her head, "He thinks he is right. And…well, _he_ is right, and he doesn't want to forgive me."

Angel didn't exactly know the reason Kanda and Izzie fought, and she inferred that it was something the couple didn't want to make public, not even among their closest friends. Thus, Angel only ventured to say, "Was it that bad? What you did."

Izzie nodded and fell silent. It was obvious that she didn't want to talk about it right now. Before, she would have narrated everything to Angel. Now…well…

Fearing that the atmosphere could fall into an ominous, awkward silence, she collected herself and, with the most tranquil voice she could summon, she asked, "What do you think about Lavi?" Talking about Lavi was easier than talking about Izzie's personal life, and it was a chance for Angel to know a little bit more about the situation.

Izzie locked gazes with Angel. The female singer tried to read those violet eyes, and she couldn't discover anything. Maybe, a little bit of disbelief and caution, but nothing that could help Angel predict her next movement. She feared Izzie would stand up and leave.

Fortunately, the young scriptwriter averted her gaze and said in a quiet voice, "Well, Kanda says he is trying to hide from his feelings."

Angel frowned. She didn't like that 'Kanda says'. Was now Kanda thinking for Izzie or what? "And what do _you_ think?" she pushed.

When Izzie didn't respond right away, Angel feared she may have gone too far. For a moment, she thought Izzie would explode and blame her for Lavi's state, the same way he did. That mere idea made her feel small and guilty. Her feet urged her to run away before Izzie could spit out venom, but her legs refused to move. Whatever the songwriter planned to say, Angel was going to receive it straightforwardly.

However, when the response came, she needed a few seconds to assimilate it.

"I think he is weak." Was what Izzie haughtily sentenced, "Couples break up every day, and you don't see all those men become complete alcoholics just because of that. Some do, but most just stand up and get over it."

Angel gaped, breathless for a moment. Izzie didn't blame her! She…"I…" she needed to make sure, "So, you don't blame me?"

The girl across the table straightened her back and stared intently at Angel. She pondered Angel's question for a moment, and then confessed, "It is your fault you broke up, but it isn't your fault Lavi dealt with it like some weak lad."

Matt would defer from the opinion that the breaking-up was her fault. Nonetheless, she believed it too. After all, it was Angel who decided to go with Leverrier. She could have told him that she wanted to stay with Lavi, and she didn't do it, and these were the consequences of her weakness. Angel sighed, slightly depressed. However, she also felt relieved upon knowing that Izzie didn't blame her for everything.

"I…well…thank you." Angel clumsily murmured.

From the other side of the table, Izzie dedicated her a shy smirk, which Angel regarded with a similar gesture.

* * *

><p>As the airplane started to move, a flight attendant spoke through a microphone to the people on board. From their seats in first class, the crew listened attentively to the instructions of how to fasten the seatbelt and use the mask.<p>

Even after the instructions were given, Angel struggled with her seatbelt. Unlike her friends, she had never been on a commercial airplane before. She saw one or two other persons having problems with their seatbelts, and felt relieved to know she was not the only one. In the end, Matt had to interfere and tie her to the seat.

The area they were in was comfortable and big. Rather than simple seats, their assigned places were like reclining chairs upholstered with white leather. In a bag set on the side of her seat, Angel found earphones, a menu, a tiny pillow, a bag of peanuts, and a magazine. Right in front of her, incrusted in the seat of the other passenger, there was a small television screen. The flight attendant clearly requested them to only watch the television with the earphones on, since the noise could bother other passengers.

"This is amazing!" Matt exclaimed, drinking in his surroundings. "I've never travelled in first class!"

Angel feigned a smile. Her stomach was tied in a hard knot, and thinking about the many hours she was going to spend floating over the ocean didn't help her ease her nervousness.

She grasped the sides of her seat and sank her fingernails in the soft leather, as if that could make her stay on earth.

"Are you alright?" Matt questioned, "You look pale."

Angel nodded, "I'm fine."

Across the corridor, Allen and Lavi glanced at her, the last one only briefly. She sent Allen a soothing smile that soon disappeared with a 'beep' of the plane.

"Close your eyes." Matt suddenly said. He clutched her right hand tightly and pulled it onto his lap.

"I…"

"You travelled in a helicopter before." Lavi abruptly snapped, "Stop being melodramatic."

Angel's heart skipped a beat and she felt like drowning with her own saliva. For a moment, she wanted to cry, as pictures of that magical day sailed across her mind. The helicopter, the edifices…everything was so far away in time that now seemed to be part of a dream rather than a memory.

"It was different." She mumbled. Why was it different? Well, maybe because she was with him, and he made her feel safe. Besides, they didn't spend eighteen hours flying above the sea, "We didn't cross the ocean."

"Is that what scares you?" Matt inquired, raising an eyebrow, "The ocean?"

Angel gulped and nodded, "I…I don't like the idea of having to fly above it. What if the airplane falls? What if nobody finds us?"

Lavi clicked his tongue, and then grunted when Allen punched him in the arm. "What?" the redheaded defended, "She's just trying to get attention."

"I- I." Angel stuttered, visibly uncomfortable. Her tongue became still, and, unable to formulate a word, she decided to stare at her lap.

"She has Matt's attention. She doesn't need yours." A female voice spat bluntly from the seat in front Angel. She knew it was Izzie, and that made her half-heartedly smile.

From the corner of her eyes, Angel saw Lavi raise his eyebrows, "You're actually defending the girl who betrayed you?"

Angel counted her heartbeats while she waited for Izzie's reply. She wished she could talk, but something kept her mouth paralyzed.

"I'm just trying to make you shut up. You're annoying." Izzie finally muttered, and settled the manner with that. Angel didn't know if she should take the evasive as something good or bad.

Matt squeezed her hand, making Angel turn around to see him. The boy smiled warmly at her, although she could see sympathy in his brown eyes. "It's gonna be alright." He murmured, "Don't worry. You have me, don't you?"

Stiffly, Angel nodded and smirked.

"Then, you don't have to worry about anything."

* * *

><p>Some seconds after they leveled in the air and the pilot declared it safe to turn their devices on, the flight attendant grabbed the microphone again and exclaimed, "For all of you who don't know, today we have with us Innocence band! United Airlines give you a warm welcome and expect your travel is pleasant." There were a few claps and ovations. Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee stood up to say hi to the fans –except Kanda, who just grunted and nodded-. "In honor to our guests, we'll transmit their latest video on the televisions. If you want to see it, turn on your screens and plug in the earphones, please. You're travelling in United Airlines. Thanks for your preference."<p>

The woman repeated the announcement in Portuguese, since it was the language of the country they were travelling to. As she spoke in the foreign language, Angel plugged in the earphones and turned the screen on. At her side, Matt did the same.

The logo of the airline appeared on the screen for a few minutes before the video started. A lively rhythm filled Angel's ears, and she recognized the song immediately. She had seen this video before. She gulped, conscious of the person Lavi was thinking of while he wrote this song. Trying to ignore the oppression in her chest, she forced herself to watch the video. Even though it made her nauseous and sad, she was determined to not show weakness in front of Lavi. He had said enough in the day to make Angel aware of the fact that he was observing her movements.

Angel was going to demonstrate Lavi that his songs didn't hurt her; that, in spite of all that shit, she still loved him and believed in his kindness. If she refused to listen to his creations, he'd take as if she was hiding from him, and she was not.

Angel was facing him.

_I've been played a fool four, three, too many times and  
>When did lust for you become an organized crime?<em>

Lavi appeared in the screen, dressed in brown trousers and a cardigan. He entered into a white room where a group of teenagers were sitting in chairs right in front of a dais. Upon the dais, a blond girl talked eagerly to the crowd, pointing repeatedly towards the projection of a cross behind her.

_I tried to keep you honest, babe, but I was just a pawn  
>You played the part so well, it hurts to know you're gone<em>

Lavi sat down at the end of a row and listened to the girl. She smiled at him briefly, and then the scene changed. Now, they were all picking the chairs up and cleaning the room. The girl approached Lavi and started to talk to him. While they talked, she caressed his shoulder discreetly. After that, the same blonde girl and Lavi walked in a park at night. Suddenly, the girl tiptoed and kissed Lavi passionately.

_(Chorus)_

_Did you mean it? Could you feel it when you broke into my head?  
>Did you fake it just to break another stranger in your bed?<br>Was it worth it? Was it perfect when you up and left me cynical?  
>Like you planned it, you're a bandit.<br>Just a no good, two-bit, filthy, rotten criminal._

During half of the chorus, a scene of the band playing in a club appeared. They focused alternatively in Kanda, Lenalee and Allen, while Lavi sang. In the other half, the blonde girl was seen cornering Lavi against a wall and then pulling him into her bedroom. The door closed, and the scene changed.

_Let me count the ways; I six, seven, ate my words  
>Right from your silver plate, we checked in, checked out, checkmate<br>_

The same blonde girl dragged different boys to her bedroom in consecutive nights. Within them, there were Allen and Kanda. The tempo of the song matched the frequency with which her door opened and closed. At the end of one of her encounters, Lavi watched from the corner of her block how one of the boys of the religious group exited her home as she blew him a kiss.

_I couldn't keep you honest, babe, 'cause I was just a card you played  
>The draw so well, it hurts to know you're gone, you're gone, you're gone<em>

Lavi threw the flowers he was carrying for her to the floor and took out his cell phone. There, he took the first photograph of the scene. During the next days, Lavi attended the same corner and took photographs of each boy that left her house and every kiss she blew.

_Did you mean it? Could you feel it when you broke into my head?  
>Did you fake it just to break another stranger in your bed?<br>Was it worth it? Was it perfect when you up and left me cynical?  
>Like you planned it, you're a bandit.<br>Just a no good, two-bit, filthy, rotten criminal._

Then, the Christian meeting scene appeared, and the girl leaded the pray of the day. She wore a white dress and a necklace with a cross hanging from it. She looked pretty, but she was fake, and Lavi knew it. He joined the group, feigning ignorance, and glimpsed all the guys she had slept with.

There was a musical bridge, in which the band appeared playing the song in the same club. The camera focused on Lenalee's hands as she played the guitar. Lavi and Kanda had exchanged positions, so Kanda was hitting the drums while Lavi used the bass and sang. The scene changed for one in which Lavi made up a video with his photographs, alone in his room. His cell phone vibrated and the picture of the girl popped out in it, but he just ignored it.

_Did you mean it? Could you feel it when you broke into my head?  
>(I couldn't keep you honest, babe)<br>Did you fake it just to break another stranger in your bed?  
>(Cause I was just a pawn you played)<em>

Then, they returned to the meeting. This time, however, the one onto the dais was Lavi. He said something to the boy in charge of the computer, and started to sing as his photographs were projected on the screen behind.

_Was it worth it? Was it perfect when you up and left me cynical?  
>(I couldn't keep you honest, babe)<em>

The camera recorded the girl's stunned expression. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked to all her lovers. They regarded her with gapes and glares, and people started to murmur. Without anything to say in her defense, she stood up and left the room silently.

_Like you planned it, you're a bandit.  
>Just a no good, two-bit, filthy, rotten criminal.<em>

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey there! I'm sorry for the delay, but, well, you know. School and stuff._

_Also, I want to apologize for the shitty redaction. To be sincere, I didn't like how this chapter ended up like, but I couldn't think of anything better. Stupid writer's block. Sorry :(_

_Song: Get down on your knees and tell me you love me, by All Time Low._

_Chapter points!_

_1. Conversation Izzie-Angel. Their relationship is improving!_

_2. Matt being cute because he is cute._

_3. Work off some of my suppressed emotions. The video was a lot more dramatic but the gist is similar to what happened. -Nope, in real life there was no sex.-_

_4. I needed to get them on a plane to Europe. Now, the real fun starts! They are heading to Portugal right now. _

_Holy Cow! I had forgotten it, I'm so sorry!_

_Here is a playlist made by PopHorrorScheme646 (did I write it right?) It is made with songs related to AS and it is pretty cool. I hope you like it w w w. /playlist?list=PLodHkZII-GJ6gBoXpO0EXmSdQH8QitZbt _(Eliminate the spaces)


	13. ar de Lisboa

_Attached Strings_

_Can't stop, won't stop, I must be dreaming- I must be dreaming by The Main._

Lisbon, with a population of 545.245 inhabitants, is the capital of Portugal, and also the country's largest city. It is situated at the mouth of the Tagus River and near the ocean. An important fact about the city is that Lisbon itself narrows to the historical centre only. The rest of the city is formed by different municipalities and is known as Greater Lisbon.

The first thing the group noticed in Lisbon was the warm weather. The late Autumn here felt more like a Spring day in Denver. All of them took off the sweaters and jackets to enjoy the warm rays of sun that filtrated through their skins.

Some journalists approximated the group as it made its way through the airport. Most of them spoke in a board English, while other babbled something in Portuguese. None of the band's members understood it, but they contested the questions in the most polite manner.

Upon their entrance in the airport's lobby, dozens of fans yelled and approached the group to beg for a photograph or an autograph. Innocence pleased them the best they could without halting the advance.

Angel and Matt sheepishly walked behind Innocence. They weren't that famous yet, and their presence was rather inconspicuous. However, it gave Angel the chance to observe Lavi and Izzie's behavior in front of the fans.

Lavi was all smiles and kindness. He signed everything they put in front of him and took as many pictures as he could. Izzie, on the other hand, fell in behind Kanda in silence. She let him be reached by the other girls and take photographs with them. Angel felt surprised when she discovered that the grumpy musician even dared to smirk to the cameras. It seemed he enjoyed the fame. At certain point, however, he turned back and grabbed Izzie's hand, dragging her to his side. This intimated some of the girls –and saddened other ones- and fewer of them had enough courage to talk to him since then.

Angel frowned. Was he using her to scare his crazy fans or was he doing it because he actually cared about her? Because, if the reason Kanda carried out that unusual action was the first one, then he was being a selfish bastard.

When they finally lost the reporters and the fans, the band focused on the tedious task of settling everything on the bus. The vehicle was very similar to the one they used to travel around America, except that this one turned out to be a little bit bigger and it smelled of coffee beans.

Komui told the driver to take them for breakfast first. The man nodded and, once the luggage and instruments were rightly secured, he drove through Lisbon's streets.

Angel sat down at a loveseat near the economic kitchen. The yellow drawers, the black microwave and the small fridge transported her back to their first tour with Innocence. It was amazing how many things could change in a year. Persons, feelings, life…and not in a pleasant way. She felt glad that she was now on the bus in the role of a singer and not a guest. That change, at least, was good. As for the other ones…well…

Lavi hadn't directed her a single word since the incident in the airplane. Angel didn't know if she should feel relieved or worried. In that moment, he was lying down on a bunk. From her position, Angel could only see his feet and ankles. She wondered what he was thinking…

Matt sat by her side and passed an arm around her shoulders, "Pretty city, right?"

Angel smiled at him. She knew what he was trying to do. He must have seen her staring at Lavi and was trying to cheer her up with something else.

"Yes…" she directed her gaze to the window.

Lisbon was truly beautiful. Most of its streets represented the Mediterranean style and architecture perfectly. Tradition and modernity were reconciled perfectly in the form of red tiles next to electrical wires. The majority of the houses had balconies from which people looked down on the street or talked to their neighbors. The buildings, even the newest ones, followed a Mediterranean pattern, with the wide entrances, the gable rooftops decorated with red tiles and the lined windows.

"Did you know that this is built upon the remains of an old volcano area?" Matt commented nonchalantly, "That's why the terrain is so irregular."

Angel could see that. There were a lot of hills, and the houses erected on the sides of them. Some of the streets were reduced to stairs so narrow that only one person could walk through them at the time.

As they scooted through the streets, a big hill crowned by a fortress appeared in Angel's field of view. She admired the construction with awe. The stones were grey and old, but the building itself appeared to be steady. A wall branched from the fortress just to stop abruptly beside the hill. Angel remembered that these antique cities used to build ramparts to protect themselves against invasions. Thus, what she was seeing had to be the remains of Lisbon's wall.

"Mesmerizing, right?" Allen exclaimed as he stood beside them. It was incredible how he, and all the members of Innocence in fact, was used to walk around a bus in motion freely. Allen glanced out of the window too.

Angel nodded, "I never saw anything like this before." She murmured.

"That's the magic of tours." Lenalee exclaimed from one of the passenger seats. She turned to wink at them, "You see places you wouldn't have been able to see otherwise."

* * *

><p>Amongst the members of Innocence, it was a tradition that they stayed in a suite the first night of their tour. It was like their 'inauguration present'.<p>

Therefore, the group divided itself in males and females. All men, including Komui and the sound engineer Leonel Thompson, stayed at the Imperial suite. Since there were fewer females, they were to stay in the Junior Suite, next to the Imperial one.

"I call out for a girls' night!" Lenalee excitedly exclaimed. She jumped on the sofa and poured down wine in glasses.

"I like the sound of that." Nina, their makeup artist and designer, beamed. She was a twenty year old woman who started to work for the band during the release of their latest album. Nina had a cheerful, out-going character that, together with her skills, helped her become a member of the team in less than two months.

She grabbed one glass and sat down on a couch, smiling. Angel declined the liquor, but joined the two girls.

Heaving a sigh, Izzie pulled a chair and sat by them. "What do you want to do?"

"Well, this works better with tequila shots, but the wine will suffice." Lenalee grinned, "Let's play 'never never'"

Angel cocked an eyebrow, "How do you play that?"

"Oh, it is easy!" Nina exclaimed. She tied her long, blonde hair in a high ponytail and clapped her hands, "One of us will say something like 'I never never kissed a rockstar'. If you have kissed a rockstar, then you drink from the glass. If you have not, you don't. And that's how it goes until we're drunk,"

Angel wasn't too sure if she wanted to do this. Before, she accepted to drink with the band doubtlessly, but she was different now. She didn't act so recklessly and was far more reserved after all the things that happened. However, a night with the girls was not going to hurt, right?

Slowly, she grabbed her glass of wine and nodded, "Okay…"

* * *

><p>Izzie was, if nothing, a little bit tipsy, but conscious of her actions and words; and critical too. It was a good thing that she hadn't done too much wild stuff in her life. Jumping from a parachute, making out with a total stranger, play pranks to your neighbors…those were mischief that Izzie was never encouraged to do, therefore, she was not as drunk as her friends.<p>

Angel and Lenalee's words were slurred and they laughed hysterically at random times. Nonetheless, they weren't too drunk either. Nina, on the other hand, seemed to be about to vomit. The reckless woman was a wild one, and she almost drank after every sentence.

Ignoring Izzie's advice of halting the game, they said four more statements. Izzie drank two times in response to: "I never made out with someone in the kitchen" and "I never laughed at a fat boy." Angel drank two shots too. Her cheeks were pink and she started to hiccup repeatedly.

Izzie was quite surprised by the stuff Angel revealed. For example, the "I never ran away from home", and "I never confessed to a boy," and other secrets were things that she never confessed so easily, not even to Izzie. The alcohol seemed to have destroyed her inhibitions, and she was willing to admit every mischief she had done in her life.

Therefore, an idea occurred to Izzie. It was an experiment and, whatever the answer was, was going to shift a little bit her confronted emotions about Angel.

When her turn came again, and after Angel had one more shot, Izzie grabbed her glass and said, "I never never betrayed my best friend."

Angel fixated her gaze on Izzie. She stood it stubbornly, challenging her to drink from the glass. None of them drank.

Izzie's heart felt lighter. She still wasn't willing to trust Angel entirely, but she was not reluctant to talk to her anymore. Maybe…just maybe, things happened the way she affirmed they happened.

The game continued for one last round and, after that, Izzie obliged every girl to go to sleep.

* * *

><p>Angel glanced at her mobile's screen. It prayed 2:42 a.m. She didn't want to go to sleep yet, although she knew that the next day was going to be long and exhausting. The alcohol in her veins had erased all apparent need of sleep.<p>

She slid out of the bed she shared with Lenalee. The Chinese girl rolled on her side and mumbled something in her sleep.

Once she made sure Lenalee was not going to wake up, Angel dragged her feet across one of the suite's archways. At her right, the entrance to the bathroom was preceded by a walk-in-closet. In front of her, and opposite to the arch, a balcony opened to the night. Angel slid the glass-door open wide enough for her to slide through it. Once she was outside, she closed it with delicacy and breathed in the salty air.

The notes of a guitar reached her from her left. She turned around and found Lavi leaning on the edge of his balcony. Needless it is to mention that the boys' suite was beside hers.

One of his legs was on the metallic rail, while the other one rested on the floor. The sight of him sitting nonchalantly on the rail made Angel uneasy, but she decided to not say anything. Lavi was so absorbed by his guitar that he didn't seem to notice her.

_I lock the door  
>Turn all the water on<br>And bury that sound  
>So no one hears anything anymore<br>Mirror, lie to me, tell me you can see  
>Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now<br>I know you can feel, all the things you steal  
>And you're taking, you're taking it<em>

Angel listened to the song in silence, unsettled by the melancholy that oozed through his voice. She leaned on the farthest wall and watched him in complete silence.

Lavi was wearing red, checkered pajamas. His red hair spiked messily in every direction, held back by a brown bandana that also covered his missing eye. She thought about the way he lost his eye and a shiver ran down her spine. It was insane to keep the Noahs free after all the crimes they had done.

_Feeling so easy  
>Make me skin and bones<br>I'm always on my knees for you  
>You break like it's even<br>When you're faking it  
>Thin, Where the hell have you been?<em>

Angel wanted to hug him so badly that it hurt. She really missed the sensation of his arms around her, his kisses and the way he smiled at her. Those afternoons spent in his grandfather's house were more like a dream now. He didn't even talk to his grandfather anymore.

She thought about what Izzie said of Lavi being weak. Angel always pictured him as a confident man who couldn't be brought down by anything. When she left him, she was pretty sure that he was going to get over it sooner or later. Angel never imagined that Lavi was going to become a lonely and promiscuous alcoholic.

She hated herself for breaking up with him.

_Well, sometimes it burns  
>Baby I'll wash it out<br>It all looks so big  
>Never mind, I don't feel anything<em>

_It only hurt a bit_  
><em>I still feel like shit<em>  
><em>And I think you won't be able to recognize me now<em>  
><em>It's easier to quit<em>  
><em>It's harder to admit and<em>  
><em>You're pushing me, you're fucking pushing me!<em>

Angel always dreamt of travelling with Lavi to some magical place like this. Lisbon's lights shone all the way to the shore. There, the flickering lights reflected on the water. The warm breeze tried to soothe her worries, and failed catastrophically. Angel had achieved one of her platonic goals: travel with Innocence and sing with them in a strange city. However, she didn't feel satisfied at all. A small part of her was excited at the picture of those big auditoriums, the shinning lights and the fans. The other part still cried for Lavi, telling her that she would give everything up if that guaranteed his welfare.

Could it be possible that she loved him more than he ever loved her?

_Feeling so easy  
>Make me skin and bones<br>I'm always on my knees for you  
>You break like it's even<br>When you're leaving it  
>Thin, where the hell have you been?<em>

_'cause you always win_  
><em>And you... yeah!<em>

_Laughin' like it works_  
><em>Bleeding like it don't hurt<em>  
><em>Knock you off your feet<em>  
><em>Even if you need me<em>  
><em>Tear you apart and I hate how I need you<em>

He was singing that he needed her. Why? Was it to make her happy or for him to be happy again? Those were two types of desire that worked perfectly when one carried the other, but, what happened when a relationship was unidirectional? Even though Angel never considered Lavi a selfish person, she was starting to think that she was the one to give the most and keep the less.

Anyway, if he needed her, what was he doing pushing Angel away? Was it because of pride? Did Angel's closeness hurt more than establishing distance?

Or maybe that song wasn't for her. That sudden, remote possibility froze Angel's flesh to the bones.

_Feeling too easy, make me skin and bones  
>I'm always on my knees for you<br>Break like it's even  
>When you're leaving<em>

_It's too fucking easy, make me skin and bones_  
><em>I'm always on my knees for you<em>  
><em>Break like it's even<em>  
><em>When you're leaving it<em>  
><em>Thin, where have you been?<em>

_'cause you always win, and you always win, you always win_  
><em>I will burn all this<em>

When he finished, Lavi lifted his gaze and accidentally met Angel's troubled expression. He stared at her, wide-eyed, thunderstruck and slightly nervous. He was clearly not expecting Angel to be there.

Watching his soundless reaction, Angel considered that the song was not only about his melancholy, but also about her role in it.

Before he could hiss something rude to her, Angel jumped to her door and bowed her head politely, "I'm sorry." She murmured. _I'm sorry for listening without your permission; I'm sorry for leaving you alone; I'm sorry for coming back; I'm sorry for pushing you. _"Good night." Said this, Angel swept into her room and out of Lavi's sight swiftly.

* * *

><p>Izzie sat down at an empty seat between Komui and Nina in the Pavilhão Atlântico, the arena where all the big concerts took place in Lisbon. With a capacity of 20 000 people, the huge structure reminded Izzie of a stadium rather than an auditorium.<p>

Izzie couldn't imagine this place full of people. Three months before, when the tickets were available for purchase, the entrances were sold out in less than a day. Everybody wanted to see Innocence. Everybody wanted to be in the same room with them.

The stage was set up that same morning by staff members and electrical engineers, who installed the huge reflectors and colorful lights. From what Izzie heard, they had been working on it since a day before they arrived to Lisbon.

The songwriter's head was still throbbing after last night's excess. The strange, green liquid Nina gave them for the hangover reduced the pain a bit, but it was still uncomfortable to walk around with her head feeling heavy. She flinched at any loud sound, and being in the sound test was going to hurt like hell. However, she was going to endure it stoically.

Izzie looked up at the stage while the band's members moved around with the instruments and obeyed Thompson's instructions. Her eyes fixated on Kanda, following his movements as he plugged in some of his bass's cables. They hadn't exchanged a word since they picked up their luggage at the airport, and the phrases they had pronounced were too trivial and meaningless that they didn't matter. She was surprised when he grabbed her hand during the fans' harassment, but, since he acted cold again once they were alone, she guessed it was just to keep the appearance that everything was alright in front of the cameras.

Izzie sighed and massaged her temples. The next day was going to be her birthday, and she really wished Kanda and she had fixed their problems by then.

Apparently, the band wanted the same, because after Lenalee made her vocals' sound test and rehearsed the songs, Lavi approached the microphone and said to the small crowd –Innocence's crew, Angel, Matt and the staff people-, "This song was written by one of my best friends for a pretty lady he met last year. They are having problems now because none of them is able to confess their feelings straightforwardly. That's why I stole the lyrics from Yuu's folder and added music to it." The redheaded smiled mischievously towards Kanda. Then, he winked at Izzie and exclaimed, "This one goes for you from Yuu-pon's heart."

He started to play some chords in his guitar and cleared his throat.

Kanda's eyes widened when he heard the first verse. He made move to snatch the microphone away from Lavi, but Allen and Lenalee stopped him opportunely.

_She thinks I'm crazy.  
>Judging by the faces that she's making.<br>And I think she's pretty.  
>But pretty's just part of the things she does that amaze me.<br>And she calls me sweetheart.  
>I love it when she wakes me when it's still dark.<br>And she watches the sun.  
>But she's the only one I have my eyes on.<em>

From one corner, Angel and Nina screamed excitedly upon hearing the lyrics. Lenalee and Allen smiled knowingly, which made Izzie believe they knew of Lavi's plan beforehand.

_Tell me that you love me.  
>And it'll be alright.<br>Are you thinking of me?  
>Just come with me tonight.<br>You know I need you.  
>Just like you need me.<br>Can't stop, Won't stop.  
>I must be dreaming.<br>Can't stop, Won't stop.  
>I must be dreaming.<em>

Izzie's heart pounded and turned violently inside her chest. A smile crossed her face unwillingly and her gut tickled with warmness. Her eyes fixated on Kanda, asking him if it was true that he wrote the song. The bassist averted his gaze immediately, although a slight blush could be perceived in his pale face. He struggled to release himself from Allen's grasp, but the keyboardist and Lenalee joined strengths and made him sit on the floor obediently.

_She moves in closer.  
>Whispering to me "I thought I told ya"<br>And oh she's playing games now.  
>And I figured it out now that we're<br>Now that we're closer.  
>Two kids, one love.<br>Who cares it we making it up.  
>Her voice is sweet sound.<br>Our clothes lay on the ground.  
>She moves in closer.<br>Whispers "I though I told ya"_

Saliva stuck in her throat upon hearing the clothes' part. Izzie had to cough repeatedly to avoid choking stupidly with her own saliva. Was this really written by Kanda? Was this a reflection of his feelings and dreams? His desires?

Again, Izzie felt guilty for not being able to satisfy him completely. It was just that…it was so difficult for her…

_Tell me that you love me.  
>And it'll be alright.<br>Are you thinking of me?  
>Just come with me tonight.<br>You know I need you.  
>Just like you need me.<br>Can't stop, Won't stop.  
>I must be dreaming.<br>Can't stop, Won't stop.  
>I must be dreaming.<em>

_Remember the day when we started this._  
><em>And she made the shape of my heart with her hands.<em>  
><em>We try to make some sense of it.<em>  
><em>But she called me on the phone and said..<em>

_Tell me that you love me._  
><em>And it'll be alright.<em>  
><em>Are you thinking of me?<em>  
><em>Just come with me tonight.<em>  
><em>You know I need you.<em>  
><em>Just like you need me.<em>  
><em>Can't stop, Won't stop.<em>  
><em>I must be dreaming.<em>  
><em>Go one and tell em that you love me<em>  
><em>And it'll be alright. (I must be dreaming)<em>  
><em>Are you thinking of me.<em>  
><em>Just come with me tonight.(I must be dreaming)<em>  
><em>She moves in closer.<em>  
><em>Can't stop, Won't stop.<em>  
><em>I must be dreaming<em>

"You're dead man, usagi" Kanda yelled when the song finished. Allen and Lenalee let him stand up and stalk towards the redheaded.

Lavi stepped back and laughed nervously. "Hehehe, I did it for the best…don't give me that look…"

A dark aura seemed to surround Kanda from everywhere. He rudely unplugged the stand of a microphone and held it with both hands in a threatening way. The Japanese's face was still red, but Izzie couldn't tell if it was of anger of embarrassment.

In an endeavor to save Lavi from a painful death, Izzie stood up and said in a loud voice, "I liked it."

Kanda immediately turned around to see her. He blinked, perplexed, and Izzie smiled encouragingly at him. "Thank you."

At this point, a man in a black shirt ran to Izzie's side and asked, breathless, "Are you Izzobel Fletcher?"

Bewildered, Izzie nodded.

"Someone wants to meet you in the lobby." The man informed, straightening up. He wasn't taller than Izzie.

Izzie raised an eyebrow. She glanced at Kanda, who frowned at the worker and put the stand back in its place. "Who is he…or she?"

The man's eyes were widened. He seemed to be startled by something. "She is the owner's niece. Please, come with me."

"What does she want?" Since the kidnapping incident, Izzie had learned to become suspicious and cautious at these kinds of eventualities. Kanda thought the same, and he jumped off the stage and stepped at Izzie's side.

"She'll tell you there. Please, come with me. Alone." The man said, eyeing Kanda nervously.

Izzie's gut twitched. This couldn't be good.

"I'll go with her." Kanda curtly stated. The whole group followed the conversation and weird request.

"I'm sorry, sir." Komui finally interfered. The manager stood up and approximated the worker, "But we cannot let one of our crew's members move around a strange city on their own."

The man was obviously conflicted. He twisted his hands nervously and, in a whisper, suggested, "The miss's boyfriend can wait at a prudent distance from them." He said, pointing to Kanda with a movement of his head, "My mistress has specified that she wants to meet Mss. Fletcher privately. She left this room just after the redheaded's song finished."

Komui frowned. Izzie didn't remember seeing anyone in the room. Then again, she didn't pay attention to anything that was not Lavi or Kanda.

The Japanese looked at Izzie, waiting for her answer.

Well, the auditorium was surrounded by security guards, and the lobby was a rather concurred place due to the food locals in it. Even when there was no concert, the stores were open and people liked to stroll around and eat.

Besides, she was really curious about this strange woman that claimed to be the owner's niece.

"Don't go too far away." She murmured to Kanda, "Take me there." Izzie then commanded to the man. Satisfied and relieved by her answer, the worker guided them out of the auditorium and to the food pavilion that functioned as a lobby too.

"Stand here, sir." The worker said to Kanda. Grunting, the Japanese reluctantly stood by a taco's restaurant and observed Izzie as she was taken to a table occupied by a young girl.

Izzie looked back to reassure Kanda that everything was alright. Then, she fixated her eyes on the girl.

"Hello." When she lifted her face, Izzie's stomach jolted, "I'm Rhode Camelot, but I'm aware you may already know that."

* * *

><p>AN: I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and I wish you all a Happy New Year!

I update now because I don't think I'll have an opportunity to write in a while, since I'm leaving for the capital city. -Well, it is a city near it called Toluca, but it is almost the same- Anyway, you don't need to know that xD

I hope I can be able to correct this tomorrow. If I can't, then, forgive me for any mistakes. I tried to correct this, but it is late night and I'm half a zombie by now.

Songs!

Skin and Bones by Marianas Trench (I love those guys. I highly recommend their music.) A suggestion made by Hana Meina.

I must be dreaming by The Main, a song requested by Assastla-The-Elf.

Even though I love the way some of you are eager to recommend songs, I want to remind you that they may or may not appear in the story. I'd love to use all of them, and I try really hard to make that happen, but I cannot change the story's course or hold it for too long because it'd get repetitive and tedious. Again, I'm sorry :/ I beg for your comprehension. You're still free to make your requests, of course.

Pd.2: I want to send a special hug to PopHorrorScheme64 for the playlist she made. It helped me get through a writer's block. Truthfully, this chapter wouldn't have been possible without the playlist! Here is a link to it: w w playlist?list=PLodHkZII-GJ6gBoXpO0EXmSdQH8QitZbt Just eliminate the spaces.

Also, a special hug to SapphirePeanut, Rubi and EdelyneElric for their dedication to this story and the amazing fanart they have done and are doing. The links to their deviantArt accounts are these: (If the links here don't work, they are in my profile as well)

sapphirepeanut. / gallery/

agnusnyx .deviantart

Thank you all for following this story through another amazing year! You are awesome!


	14. Drift away

_Attached Strings~  
><em>

_Love starts by uneasiness,_

_Diligence, ardour and sleeplessness;_

_It grows with risks, slings and mistrusts,_

_It stands with weeps and pleas._

* * *

><p>Izzie looked suspiciously at the young girl. She saw her once, in the woods, during their first tour with Innocence. Angel told her that she was Rhode Camelot and that, in spite of her age, she was the songwriter of The Noah's Ark.<p>

Now that she had her closer, Izzie observed the girl more attentively. She had tanned skin, like Tykki Mikk's, and golden eyes and black hair too. She was wearing a pretty, red dress that reminded Izzie of the Lolita Style.

Rhode couldn't be more than thirteen. However, in her eyes, no childish innocence was left. Izzie felt as if she was staring at a woman in her middle twenties rather than a girl that is about to start puberty.

"So…" Rhode Camelot intertwined her fingers businesslike on the table, setting aside an empty tray of food, "You're famous Izzie Fletcher."

Izzie raised an eyebrow. Famous? "Yes." She harshly responded, tense. There was something in this girl that she didn't like.

The girl let out a giggle, "You're not that pretty." Izzie frowned. What was this about?

"What do you want?"

"Oi, don't get so cocky." Rhode breathed in deeply and smiled, "I just wanted to meet you, that's all. I have been wondering what makes you so special."

"Special?" Izzie exclaimed, raising an eyebrow. Was she making fun of her?

"Yeah." Rhode shrugged nonchalantly and smiled creepily at Izzie, "You know, so my uncle didn't kill you. I mean, he had the chance. I know that, and it was his obligation, but he…" here, the young girl frowned, showing confusion proper of age. Her golden eyes looked right through Izzie, as if trying to decode a crypt, "he let you live. Despite knowing what he was risking…I wonder, why? Why let you live?"

The way this young girl talked about death and her hijack sent chills down Izzie's spine. How could a kid touch those subjects emotionlessly? That couldn't be natural.

Izzie suddenly remembered Rhode was the daughter of Sheryl Camelot, her father's contender. The man, besides Leverrier, that wanted her gagged and tied up. Why didn't she think that in first place? Izzie felt stupid…that was the first thing that should have crossed her mind upon seeing Rhode Camelot.

She looked around nervously in search of any suspicious movement. Her eyes fixated on Kanda, some yards away, and she prayed to the heavens that they didn't hurt him. He didn't have anything to do with the elections and that stuff. The picture of the bullet hitting Kanda still haunted Izzie at night.

"Did I scare you?" Rhode Camelot asked, strangely thoughtful.

"No" Izzie curtly replied. She couldn't show fear… not in front of a little girl. "I'm guessing your uncle is Tykki Mikk."

Rhode smiled, showing off perfect, white teeth, "Yep. I have it understood you became perfectly acquainted with him…if you know what I mean." The perverse gaze the girl directed to Izzie looked even creepier than her smile.

Izzie scowled. During the days her kidnap lasted, Tykki Mikk tried to take advantage of the situation. He did do some things…but nothing too alarming. Compared to the stuff Izzie had done with Kanda in the last year, Tykki's approaches were children's games. However, it still made her uncomfortable to remember them.

"You shouldn't be talking about this." Izzie sternly replied. Then, she stood up, "You saw me, now I'm leaving."

"Oh, no!" Rhode exclaimed, "Please, sit down. I still want to talk to you. You're funny." She grinned.

"I'm not funny."

"Uncle Tykki wants to see you!" Rhode blurted out. Izzie glared at her. Seeing that she caught her attention, Rhode beamed, "He doesn't say it…but I know it. He has slept with less women since he met you. He…"

"He kidnapped and hit me." Izzie spat, "I have nothing to do with him. If he dares come close to me, I'll…"

"You'll what?" Rhode haughtily asked. She leaned back on her chair and smugly crossed her small arms across her chest, "You're far away from the US. You're in our territory now and we still have pending issues."

A boulder installed in Izzie's stomach. The threat in that statement made her feel unsafe and fearful. Not for her. For Kanda. She glanced at him, her heart racing. Kanda had this charming and worrisome tendency to protect fearlessly the persons he cared about, in spite of the cost that it'd carry to him. Tykki didn't hesitate when he shot him the first time. He was clearly aiming for Kanda's death. Would he dare to shoot him again? Would he succeed? Was Kanda going to die while trying to protect her? And her friends…she couldn't let the Noah hurt them either.

"What do you want?" she sourly muttered, averting her gaze from Kanda's figure.

Rhode grinned, "Oh, now we speak the same language." she giggled, "I just wanted to tell you…if my uncle Tykki asks something from you, you better accede. You know, he is the owner of this place and many others after all. It'd be a disgrace if some tragedy befell accidentally on your friends during the tour." Said this, the little, not-so-innocent girl, took out from her dress's pocket a lollipop and unwrapped it nonchalantly.

"By the way," Rhode added. There was something in her tone –was it shyness?- that made Izzie linger by the table a little bit more. The young girl's gaze flickered and she casted her eyes downwards, a slight blush spreading across her cheeks. For the first time since they started their conversation, Rhode Camelot looked like a totally normal girl. She took out something from the same pocket and slid it across the table in Izzie's direction, "Could you give this to Allen-kun? Tell him I think he is the cutest boy in the band." She timidly smiled.

Izzie glanced at the object Rhode had handed her. It was a key chain with a charm of a tiny, plastic keyboard hanging from it. It also had a little, red heart glued to one of the keyboard's corners.

For a moment, Izzie considered the idea of refusing to do the errand but, given the circumstances, she was not in the position to deny Rhode anything. If her threats were true, and Izzie had reasons to believe they were, then she'd have to lower her head until she knew more. She hated being treated according to the caprices of a whimsical girl and her uncle, but she didn't have a lot of options right now. She knew beforehand that Portugal was the home of Tykki Mikk, and the auditorium, part of his property, so, as long as they were in Lisbon or anywhere near, Izzie had to watch her back and protect the ones she cared about.

"You should tell him that I'd like to go out on a date with him too." Rhode mumbled.

Izzie frowned, "We're going soon."

"Oh, don't worry." The girl smiled confidently, "We will move around Europe too."

There, another threat written between lines. Izzie's marrow froze. Were the Noahs going to follow them around Europe?

* * *

><p>Izzie walked towards him and smiled, although she looked pale and nervous. Kanda raised an eyebrow, demanding an explanation. He had recognized the girl the minute he landed eyes on her, and he needed all his self-control to not snatch Izzie away from her. If Rhode Camelot was there, there may be others around, and he was not going to risk her safety when no danger arouse.<p>

"Let's go back inside." Izzie said in a thin voice.

Kanda frowned, "What did she say?"

"Nothing." Izzie snapped, "Let's go back."

There was something wrong. He could tell by the way she refused to meet his eyes. Just before she could sweep back into the auditorium, Kanda took her arm. "Izzobel, what did she say?"

Izzie jerked her arm back and hissed, "Nothing, Kanda." She looked up at him and wryly smiled. A fake smile. "I promise."

The Japanese narrowed his eyes with suspicion. Old resentment crawled into his chest and he grunted angrily at Izzie, "You still don't trust me, right?" he bitterly muttered.

Izzie opened her eyes even more, "It's not like that, Kanda. It's-"

"Forget it." He bluntly said, and walked past her.

"Kanda!" he heard her call, but he kept on walking towards the stage. He ignored her summons, as well as the inquiring looks her band mates darted in his direction. Instead, he grabbed his bass and tuned it absentmindedly, abstracting himself from the world that surrounded him. Izzie babbled something, but he drowned her voice with the low notes of his bass.

He didn't want to hear lame excuses anymore. It all leaded to one same end: Izzie didn't trust him. Living under the same roof was not enough to make her open up to him. What was the point in sharing the food, the house, the money and the cars if they didn't share their feelings, thoughts and secrets? They could have a roommates' contract as well.

Why was he feeling suddenly like this? So angry, so lost…so lost…lost…that was it. He felt lost, and the only place that he found refuge in was his own music. His notes, the melodies…they filled him with comfort and obliviousness. That was why he devoted his life to this: because here he had a place he belonged to, and where he could go when everything outside was starting to crumble down.

Because, let's face it, his relationship with Izzie was crumbling down. It was not just about the pills. It was about trust and comprehension and communication…all those relationship keys that they were lacking of.

* * *

><p>The concert went on without any major incidents. Lavi acted like always in front of the fans. He was cheerful and funny. He never let his personal issues ruin his relationship with his fans, neither the atmosphere of a concert. Not even when <em>she <em>was there and _she_ sang a song written by Matthew Evans, Izzie and Angel that was clearly meant for Lavi.

He poured down a glass of vodka in the tiny bus's kitchen and discreetly glanced at the bunk where Angel was taking a nap. Her body was concealed from the group by a black curtain, but he could hear the blankets shift as the girl rolled on her side. For a moment, the impulse to slide the curtain aside to admire her sleeping form flowed through Lavi's body. He rapidly suppressed it with a gulp of the strong liquid in his glass. Pretending that nothing had happened, he slumped on a couch and looked out the window.

They slept in the hotel last night and, at first hour in the morning, packed everything up to get back on the road. They were out of Lisbon before the sun showed its timid rays in the horizon.

The countryside of Europe was lovely. Everything seemed clean and minutely arranged, as if the meadows were especially made to amaze the spectator. While he admired the panorama, Angel's song buzzed in his mind again, like an annoying mosquito.

_You and I walk a fragile line  
>I have known it all this time<br>But I never thought I'd live to see it break_

_It's getting dark, and it's all too quiet  
>And I can't trust anything now<br>And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake_

_Oh, I'm holding my breath  
>Won't lose you again<br>Something's made your eyes go cold_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Something's gone terribly wrong  
>You're all I wanted<em>

_Come on, come on__  
><em>_Don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out__  
><em>_Can't breathe whenever you're gone__  
><em>_Can't turn back, now I'm haunted_

_Stood there and watched you walk away__  
><em>_From everything we had__  
><em>_But I still mean every word I said to you_

_He will try to take away my pain__  
><em>_And he just might make me smile__  
><em>_But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead_

_Oh Oh, holding my breath__  
><em>_Whoa oh, I'll see you again__  
><em>_Something keeps me holding on to nothing_

_Come on, come on__  
><em>_Don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out__  
><em>_Something's gone terribly wrong__  
><em>_You're all I wanted_

_Come on, come on__  
><em>_Don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out__  
><em>_Can't breathe whenever you're gone__  
><em>_Can't turn back, now I'm haunted_

_I know, I know__  
><em>_I just know__  
><em>_You're not gone__  
><em>_You can't be gone, no_

_Come on, come on__  
><em>_Don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out__  
><em>_Something's gone terribly wrong__  
><em>_Go finish what you started_

_Come on, come on__  
><em>_Don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out__  
><em>_Can't breathe whenever you're gone__  
><em>_Can't go back, I'm haunted_

Suddenly, Angel's curtain ruffled. A gasp came out of the bunk and, followed by it, Angel's head popped out of the small compartment. Her eyes met Lavi's and, without repairing in whom he was talking to, she exclaimed, "Today is Izzie's birthday!"

Lavi almost smiled at her alarmed expression and needless preoccupation. Almost. Instead, he smirked and shrugged, "I know."

"We haven't given her anything!" Angel whispered. She eyed to the frontal part of the bus, where Izzie was occupying one of the six seats. The young songwriter had her earphones on, but Angel still murmured, "Oh my God, I can't believe I forgot-"

"We bought her a cake." Lavi whispered back. He surprised himself by the lack of harshness in his voice. It was just that watching Angel fret about something they had already taken care of was…adora-

No. He could not use that word in her. Never.

Angel frowned, confused, but her shoulders relaxed. She leaned on the kitchen's counter and murmured, "When? Have you already-"

"In the night." Lavi responded before she could finish her sentence. Gosh, he was being too nice to someone who broke his heart mercilessly, "It's a surprise, so don't you dare say anything." He warned, glowering at Angel. Better.

She seemed unsettled by the change in his tones. However, she kept her comments to herself and just nodded with comprehension. Afterwards, she climbed back into her bunk and isolated herself again.

Lavi felt observed. Or, more like, being murdered by a pair of eyes. He didn't have to even dart a look to the bus's seats to know who was killing him. He had done nothing wrong, though, and Matt could not make a scene this time. Lavi had won that much, at least.

His conversation with Angel spun in his head several minutes after they finished it. A weird feeling spread in his chest and he found out that it was some sort of satisfaction. Satisfaction for what? For being civilized towards Angel or for talking to her?

Lavi suddenly realized that this was probably the first time that they exchanged trivial words in a peaceful manner. There were no harsh retorts or complains, just questions and answers. He didn't like the way they talked so effortlessly when he had his guard down. And he liked even less the fact that this short conversation stirred up weird feelings inside of him. He couldn't allow himself to trust in Angel again. Lavi was not going to be thrown down again by a petty girl…

_Stop looking at her bunk, Lavi. _He commanded mentally when he discovered his eyes travelling back to the black curtain. Lavi forced himself to admire the beauty of the European countryside and wait for their arrival to Madrid.

* * *

><p>They arrived to Madrid at dusk. The city was just as Izzie remembered. There were streets filled with tall buildings and modern edifices. Entire blocks were occupied by malls and offices. At the same times, classic neighborhoods with pretty, Spanish houses were found at certain sections of the city. Plazas with high fountains, lights and benches were common, and the air had that special Spanish smell that Izzie always related to sugarcane and tobacco.<p>

Izzie felt excited, but disquiet at the same time. She never returned to Spain after the subway's incident, so many years ago. The city was impregnated with the fatality of tragedy, in spite of being certainly pretty. To Izzie, this was just a reminder of how ephemeral life is. One minute, you are asking for permission to sit on a bench. The next one, you are bleeding on the floor with a tube in your stomach.

That was why Izzie didn't take the earphones off during the whole trip. The turbulent Bach's symphonies kept her mind busy during hours, and then she changed for elegant Vivaldi and relaxing Debussy. That way, her mind fluttered away from painful memories.

They stopped at a restaurant in downtown. Somebody said something about their hotel being some blocks away, but Izzie didn't pay attention. Lenalee dragged her out of the bus before anyone else could even peep, and the Chinese distracted Izzie by asking her the meaning of some words in Spanish. Izzie knew what she was doing. Her friends were probably going to take the cake out of the fridge and explain in a broad Spanish their plans to a restaurant's employee. They were not very good at discretion and Izzie was sharp-eyed. Besides, they did the same last year. However, she played along to not make them feel bad.

What really surprised Izzie was Kanda's civilized demeanor after their small disagreement. He behaved the same way he did after their big fight –serious and aloof- but murmured a 'Happy Birthday' in the morning when they were accommodating their equipment. That made Izzie's predictably awful day a little bit better. Nonetheless, after that, they didn't exchange anything but a handful of irrelevant phrases before Izzie enclosed herself in her music. It was better this way, she believed. She needed to think in a way to make up with Kanda.

"Well, let's go inside." Lenalee said after a while. Izzie smiled at her and nodded, feigning complete ignorance. It was better this way.

When they arrived at the private section they had requested, Allen was already ordering dish after dish of Spanish food. Izzie half-heartedly smiled at the scene. She had always wondered how he managed to store everything inside. Matt ordered three entries and two main dishes,

so he didn't stay behind. The rest of the crew asked for normal and healthy amounts of food.

They have left the head of the table free for Izzie. She sat there without asking and smiled at her companions. Kanda was at her right and Lenalee at her left. Besides Lenalee, Komui sat down. Angel and Matt sat opposite to the formers and Nina.

They joked and chatted nonchalantly during the entire evening. Izzie chuckled disheartedly and tried to make some conversation to Kanda. She surrendered at the third intent. The Japanese responded to her questions politely, but he didn't make any effort to keep the conversation alive.

All in all, she spent a good time. They sang Happy Birthday in an awful Spanish and Izzie laughed at their intent.

"_Feliz Cumpleaños_." She sweetly corrected them while distributing pieces of the chocolate cake, "_Cumpleañññññññññños_." She emphasized.

Allen frowned and, between bite and bite, repeated, "_Cumple-anos_."

"Pronounced that way, it is kind of an obscenity." Izzie laughed.

"_Caracoles, Batman!_" Matt said, scratching her head. Everybody stared at him, bewildered by his expression. Noticing the perplexity in their faces, the young musician shrugged and said, "I heard that in a TV sitcom. It was set in Mexico."

Everybody nodded in comprehension and started to talk in a lame Spanish. They didn't know much, just a few words they had learned from the Latin immigrants, most of them profanities.

Izzie shared some of her scarce knowledge with them and then summoned Kanda outside. Discreetly, they left the restaurant without telling anyone else.

Outside, a small plaza extended across the street. Street lamps of wrought iron stood every three meters, illuminating the benches and the plaza's pathways. Sections of grass and trees were separated from the cobblestone pavement by iron fences, so the visitors didn't step on the vegetation.

Izzie led Kanda to a rather solitary bench. No peasants were seen around, and the closest lamp was two meters away. Without saying anything, she made him sit.

"I want a birthday present." Izzie demanded. She paced back and forth in front of Kanda, too coward to meet him face to face. Her stomach was twisting and her hands were sweating, but she needed to do this. "I want you to tell me in a calmed voice what is going on inside your head."

Collecting her nonexistent courage, Izzie stopped walking and stood in front of Kanda, challenging him with a defiant, yet comprehensive, look.

Kanda stared at her mutely, his expression unreadable. His blue eyes were shinning with the dim light, and their mesmerizing power almost overwhelmed Izzie. However, she couldn't lose her mind right now. She was determined to fix things, because Kanda's aloofness was driving her crazy. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone, and she wanted, she needed, to fill any gap before the distance ended up with them.

He stayed in silence for so long that Izzie was starting to believe he would not answer. A stab of pain was leaving her breathless and she knew that it'd be the end of them if Kanda chose to remain silent

In the end, however, he opened his lips and said, "I believe you don't trust me."

The explanation hit Izzie, although it was not quite unexpected. She had sensed he felt this way when he found out about the pills. He practically yelled it at her, but they were so angry and she was so frustrated that nothing she said was right, and nothing could convince Kanda otherwise anyway.

Izzie took in a deep breath and carefully chose her words, "I never lived with anyone besides my dad. And I never had a formal boyfriend before. It is not that I don't trust you. You are the person I trust the most. It is just that…I'm afraid to try something new and fail and disappoint you."

"You disappointed me by not telling me things." Kanda coldly stated.

"I know." Izzie sighed. She slumped beside him on the bench, "But sometimes it is so hard, Kanda!" she moaned and hid her face in her palms, "You are not very expressive and sometimes I just feel like you don't care." Her voice came out weak and cautious. Izzie regretted saying them right after they were out. The last thing she needed was to have Kanda retaliating and arguing.

Surprisingly enough, his voice came out in the same calmed tone, "I'm not good with words," he reluctantly admitted between clenched teeth, "But I listen."

Izzie nodded. She knew this…she always knew this, then, why did she need to hear it from him? Was her resolution that weak?

There was a long moment of silence. It was not tense, like before. Izzie enjoyed the chilly breeze of the night, but the remembrance of the awful happenings that impregnated this city hovered above Izzie's head like a curse.

Kanda was the first one to break the silence, "Promise me you will tell me everything that is important from now on."

"Only if you do the same." Izzie rapidly replied.

Kanda thought about it for a moment and nodded.

Warmness substituted the previous anxiety in Izzie's body. She moved closer to Kanda and placed her head on his shoulder. The Japanese relaxed instantly at the contact and surrounded her shoulders with an arm, pulling Izzie closer. She inhaled the scent of his skin and the feeling of dreadfulness disappeared.

"Kanda Yuu being romantic?" a male's voice sardonically exclaimed. A shadow approached the couple, his features hidden by the darkness. However, his voice was enough to make Kanda tense and Izzie fret.

"I never imagined this could be possible." The shadow transformed in Tykki Mikk when he stood under the lamp, steps away. He was just like Izzie remembered: dark skin, black curls and golden, glimmering eyes, all of that in a perfectly chiseled body. He was wearing denim trousers, a black shirt and a gray blazer.

His eyes soon fixated on Izzie and, by the way his eyebrows raised, she guessed he felt rather surprised. However, Kanda concealed Izzie from his sight. "What do you want?" the Japanese hissed.

"Nothing, I was just strolling around…great concert, by the way. I was not able to be there, but Rhode told me…I believe she talked to you, right, Izzobel?"

Izzie had just opened her mouth when Kanda interfered, "Don't talk to her."

"Oi, don't tell me you're getting all possessive. Tsch, tsch, girls don't like that."

Izzie knew what Tykki meant by his inquiry. _I just wanted to tell you…if my uncle Tykki asks something from you, you better accede. You know, he is the owner of this place and many others after all. It'd be a disgrace if some tragedy befell accidentally on your friends during the tour._ Izzie gulped. "Kanda…"

Her quivering murmur attracted Kanda's attention. The Japanese turned to look at her and held her hand reassuringly. Then, he faced Tykki again, "Get lost." He growled.

"Hmm….I don't think so." The Noah grinned. In his eyes, Izzie recognized malice, resentment and hatred. It was clear how much Tykki hated Kanda, and perhaps all of Innocence. They were the ones to denounce him, after all. That realization only made Izzie fear for Kanda's precious life.

Tykki walked towards the bench until he stood face to face with Izzie. Kanda extended an arm protectively in front of the girl and glowered at the Portuguese.

"You owe me a date, if my memory doesn't fail me." The Noah said to Izzie. "Would you mind walking around with me?"

Izzie frowned. "You had me for three days. I think that's enough time."

The chuckle Tykki uttered was so out of place that it unsettled Izzie and vexed Kanda.

"That was work…and quite distasteful." Tykki flinched, "C'mon, I won't steal much of your time, sweetheart."

It sickened Izzie the way he called her 'sweetheart'. However, she swallowed her repulsion and forced herself to think rapidly. The look Tykki was giving her intended to be friendly, but his mouth twisted in a mischievous smile that Izzie didn't like. Tykki raised an eyebrow in Izzie's direction and a hand discreetly disappeared behind his back, as if he was fetching something hidden.

Izzie gulped. Her heart raced again and a cold perspiration started to run down her nape. The sight of Kanda bleeding at one side of the subway's rail flashed behind her eyes, and she knew what she had to do.

"Fifteen minutes." She firmly declared. Delicately, she pushed Kanda's arm downwards and stood up.

"What the fuck, Izzie?" he exclaimed.

Izzie spun on her heels and met Kanda's scowl. She forced a smile and leaned to kiss him on the forehead, "Fifteen minutes."

"Izzie, that man kidnapped you!" Kanda roared and stood up, grabbing Izzie's wrist tightly, "Are you crazy?"

"I swear on my honor that I'll return the lady safe and sound." Tykki Mikk promised.

"You have no honor, fucking Noah." Kanda retaliated. Then, he locked gazes with Izzie.

Izzie heard a click, or maybe it was just her imagination. Either way, the sound resembled to the one a gun makes when its owner prepares it to be shot. "I'll be back." Izzie tried to convince Kanda, although she was not quite sure that was going to be true.

Kanda stared at her for the longest minute. Then, he whispered, "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Izzie…"

Izzie sighed. They had just promised… but if she told Kanda about the threat, he'd try to protect her and would end up hurt or worse… It pained her to break their promise just a minute after making it, but it was necessary.

"Trust me. I have something to ask him too…about my father." She lied, undoing his grip. "Fifteen minutes."

Said this, she hesitantly walked to Tykki.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey! I'm sorry for any mistakes and the delay and...you know. I have just returned to school and this first week was ...hard. I'm a zombie, so...sorry.

Song:

Haunted-Taylor Swift. A recommendation from lolekandmysi :)

w w playlist?list=PLodHkZII-GJ6gBoXpO0EXmSdQH8QitZbt this is a playlist made by PopHorrorScheme646. It is awesome! I believe she has a second playlist in her account, so check it out too! :D and subscribe! :D

Fanart in my profile :D

Next weekend is going to be PMs weekend, so I'll answer all of them until then.

Now, I'll go to sleep...I really need it :(


	15. Daydream Away

_Attached Strings_

_You're just a daydream away_

_I wouldn't know what to say if I had you_

_And I'll keep you a daydream away_

_Just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose –Daydream Away by All Time Low_

Izzie made sure she kept a safe distance between Tykki and her. His presence was still as imposing as she remembered it, and equally intimidating. It didn't help the fact that she knew he was carrying a weapon.

She had to make a great effort not to look back at Kanda, and she prayed he would not follow them. Tykki didn't bother to keep an eye on the bassist either, although Izzie believed his self-confidence was product of the strict vigilance his associates provided. That made her even more uneasy.

Hiding her fear and discomfort, Izzie spoke in a steady, strong voice, "What do you want?" she haughtily asked.

When Tykki Mikk kept walking by her side in perfect silence, not bothering to answer the question, Izzie sent him a sideways glance. His flawless, tanned skin shone under the park's lights. The dark clothes, on the other hand, seemed to absorb part of that light, transforming him into an inconspicuous shadow in the middle of the night.

Just when she started to believe he wouldn't reply, the singer broke the silence, "I wanted to see you."

The sincerity in his tone took Izzie aback. She frowned with confusion, "Why?"

After another awkward period of silence, the man said in a strange voice: "I couldn't kill you."

Izzie's body froze to the marrow, and she haltered her walk automatically. Her eyes fixated on Tykki, who had stopped as well and was staring intently at her face.

Her brain cells worked out different possible scenarios and outcomes. For a moment, she thought of fleeing, but she wouldn't get far away, and Kanda was still close enough to be used against her.

So, instead of freaking out, she inhaled deeply and summoned all her self-control to conclude, "So, you're here to kill me."

"No." Tykki responded immediately. A frown of confusion appeared on his brow, and the expression looked so out of place that Izzie's worries disappeared for a second. "I want to know why." He thoughtlessly mumbled, his eyes lost somewhere beyond Izzie's scalp.

Izzie tilted her head to one side, disconcerted by Tykki's odd demeanor, "Because the police was outside?" she tentatively said.

Tykki shook his head and conveyed her gaze, "I could've pulled the trigger in the moment your father closed the laptop. I _should've_ pulled the trigger. There is always time for that. But I didn't, and I don't know why."

Put in that way, the question seemed more transcendental than Izzie would've imagined. She knew he was right. A shot couldn't take more than a fraction of second, and Tykki had many seconds, if not minutes, to put a bullet inside her skull. Why didn't he do it?

Izzie observed the man's countenance in search of any suspicious signal; something that told her that this was all a charade, but nothing but confusion was recognizable in his golden eyes. The words Rhode exchanged with her a few days before attended Izzie's mind: _Uncle Tykki wants to see you! He doesn't say it…but I know it. He has slept with less women since he met you._

Did that has something Tykki's existential problem, with the reason why he didn't pull the trigger? Could it be possible that, after all, he felt some sympathy for her?

They stood in the same position for what seemed hours. Izzie wasn't quite sure of what she should say or do. It was like walking on a rope: if she moved too fast, she could fall into serious trouble in less than a second. However, time was running, and Kanda would go find her if she didn't return after the fifteen minutes. The last thing she wanted was to have Tykki close to Kanda or any of her friends.

"Do you have an idea?" Izzie warily inquired.

Tykki slowly shook his head, "No. That's the problem. I never let anyone go." He muttered between clenched teeth. His hands turned into fists as he talked.

Izzie gave a half-step backwards, "But you're not killing me now…" She doubtfully replied, and hoped that it was true.

The look Tykki sent her was very unsettling. There was a glimmer of determination, yet a shadow of confusion darkened it. It was as if he _knew _and _wanted_ to finish what he started a year ago, but he _couldn't _do it.

"I have to." Tykki stated.

"But you won't." Izzie insisted.

His fists clenched so hard that the knuckles became white. Then, he relaxed them abruptly and sighed, his shoulders plumbing down, as if he had lost another battle, "I won't."

Izzie didn't know what to do next. She shifted her feet uncomfortably, the tic-tock of the time loud inside her head. Kanda was waiting for her.

"Today is your birthday." Tykki burst out suddenly, and recovered his usual sardonic smile. Watching him recover his usual self somehow relaxed Izzie, even when she knew that that deceitful grin was more dangerous than anything.

The girl curtly nodded and looked over her shoulder in search of Kanda. Far away, a shadow was approaching.

"I'll take you out on a date. Tomorrow." Tykki Mikk smugly informed when his eyes encountered Izzie's. He had followed the direction of her gaze, and he had probably guessed her thoughts.

Nonetheless, she frowned and crossed her arms stubbornly, "I don't want to."

"I don't care."

"I have a boyfriend."

A mischievous grin appeared in Tykki's face, and she knew it meant trouble, "A mortal one. Just because I can't hurt you it doesn't mean I can't hurt _him._"

Izzie stood there. The breeze hit the right side of her face, undoing her hair and chilling her pale skin. There was no sound but the frenetic beat of her heart upon thinking of the mere possibility of Kanda dead…gone…forever… in this same city, where she lost half of her heart eleven years ago.

"Why?" she weakly whispered.

Tykki's smile widened as he covered the distance between them. He took Izzie's chin between his thumb and index and lifted it so they were face to face. "Because I need to know…I have to know why I can't kill you."

* * *

><p>Matt opened his eyes and looked around. Beside him, sharing the same bed, Allen lied soundly asleep. Far to the other side of the room, on another bed, Kanda and Lavi kicked each other while sleeping.<p>

Matt glanced at the alarm clock set on the bedside table. The number 7:13 shone bright red in the middle of the dark. Even though they went to sleep late last night, he didn't feel tired anymore. Smoothly, he slid out of bed and pulled on a pair of sneakers.

The hotel employees were fulfilling their duties energetically. Waiters and waitresses ran up and down the hall and the dining room, while cooks filled the buffet trays with food. Some of the guests were already breaking their fast when Matt crossed the dining room.

One of the walls of the dining room was made of glass. Through it, it was visible an artificial waterfall feeding the pool sculpted in the form of a lake. Since there was nobody outside, Matt left the dining room and sat down on the edge of the pool.

In a low voice, Matt started to hum an improved melody. Little by little, the unintelligible hum turned into lyrics as a face materialized behind his eyelids.

_Now I'd like to tell you  
>And I'd like to say<br>How I, I feel right now  
>And I'd like to follow<br>You down the hall  
>And see where it goes from there<br>But you, you don't care_

_Cause you don't see me that way_  
><em>You don't see the <em>_way I look at you__  
>When you are not looking at me<br>I wish that I could tell you  
>Every single thought I ever had about you and me<br>But you don't see me that way_

_Now I'd like to hold you_  
><em>Here in my arms<em>  
><em>And have you never leave<em>  
><em>And I'd like to give you<em>  
><em>All that I have<em>  
><em>To have you stay with me<em>  
><em>But you, you don't see me<em>

He remembered in that moment why he woke up so abruptly. He had been dreaming…a good dream; one of those dreams for which you would accede to sleep forever and become invisible to your friends and family in order to stay in that little paradise endlessly.

It was nothing spectacular. No white horses, no zillions of dollars and no exotic island. Angel and he were in a cottage in the middle of nowhere. The scene seemed to be an extract of Golden Locks and the Three Little Bears, or any other children story. She was preparing poultry in the small kitchen, while he chopped onions on the table. A knock on the door made him stand up and meet the guests. Izzie, Kanda, Allen and Lenalee entered the room.

_I stare at you across the room  
>I maybe make a move at<em> _you__  
>I don't think you'd take it too well<br>I steal another glance or two  
>I maybe take a chance with you<br>But you, you don't need me  
>You don't even see me<em>

After everybody sat down in the small living room, Matt returned to the kitchen with Angel. There she was, beautiful as always, leaning against the counter. A light green dress hugged her petite figure and the skirt fell loosely around her thighs. There was no makeup in her face, and her dark hair streamed down her back. She smiled at him, a smile that she only wore when she talked about Lavi, but that now was dedicated only to Matt.

"And if we run away?" she happily proposed.

Matt's insides shrank with contained excitement, "And where will we go?"

"I don't know."

A splash woke him from his daydream. He jolted when cool droplets fell on the bare skin of his arm.

"_Oh, lo siento_." A female, seductive voice said. A black-haired woman looked at Matt from the middle of the pool. He was so self-abstracted in his thoughts that he never noticed the woman entering the water…until now that she practically splashed him.

"I don't speak Spanish." Matt shyly smiled.

The woman raised an eyebrow and grinned charmingly at him. She crossed her arms on the edge, right beside him, and looked up at Matt's face. "I said that I was sorry."

"Oh." Matt wryly smiled. "Don't worry."

"No, I think you got wet." She climbed out of the pool and sat down beside him. Matt couldn't avoid noticing that she only wore a rather small, black bikini that left most of her skin exposed.

A shiver ran down his spine when she caressed his wet arm. He jerked his limb away immediately.

The woman watched him cautiously, surprised by his hostile reaction, "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She purred.

Matt gulped, "Don't worry."

"My name is Lulubell." She offered him her hand.

Matt blinked and shook it gently, "I'm Matthew Evans."

"Matthew Evans? Nana's companion?" she tilted her head to one side and observed him with renewed intensity. Lulubell looked almost like a fangirl, and that was slightly scary.

"Yes." Matt timidly responded, "Right from America."

"I love your voice." Lulubell complimented, and slid closer to him, "And you're even more handsome in person."

Matt helplessly blushed. Although some girls confessed their admiration for him in previous occasions, Matt never considered himself especially good-looking. Besides, whenever any female said something like that to him, his tongue became a knot and any possible, smart reply escaped his intellect.

"Thank you." He bashfully replied, eyeing Lulubell inconspicuously.

"Are you staying here for long?" she sat so close to him that their bare arms were almost rubbing.

"Justafewdays." Matt nervously spat, avoiding eye-contact.

"Matt?" another female, familiar voice, called. Relief washed upon Matt and he swiftly turned around to meet her big, brown eyes.

"Hey, Angel."

Maybe it was his imagination, but he could swear he heard Lulubell growl.

She was still wearing her sleeping pants and a loose, old shirt. Her hair was held in a bun on the top of her head, with rebel strands spiking in every direction.

Angel sent Lulubell a sideways glance and swallowed, "I-I'm sorry, did I interrupt?"

"No." Matt rapidly replied, "I-" he turned around to look at Lulubell, realizing suddenly how rude he had behaved, "I'm sorry, she is-"

"Nana." Lulubell smiled and stood up. She approached the other girl with long strides, and the contrast between them both was shocking. Angel wasn't very tall, and her petite form was outshone by Lulubell's voluptuous curves and proud strides. However, to Matt, this was a worthless comparison, because, no matter how attractive Lulubell could be, she was nothing compared to Angel's kindness and talent.

"I'm Lulubell. Nice to meet you." She offered Angel her hand.

Angel looked at her suspiciously before shaking her hand, "How did you know I'm Nana?" she questioned.

"I watch T.V." Lulubell breezily replied, "Saw some paparazzi captions."

Angel sharply nodded for all answer and faked a smile, "Well, nice to meet you."

After that short exchange, Lulubell looked back at Matt and flashed a perfect smile towards him, "I hope we meet again soon, honey." She said, "Excuse me."

When she was gone, Angel approached Matt and frowned at him, "Did she bother you?"

Matt sent her a confused look, "Bother? No, she was just swimming here. Is there something wrong with her?" for a moment, just for a tiny moment, Matt hoped that Angel's weird behavior was because she felt, perhaps, a little bit…jealous…

She plucked him off his cloud soon, though, "She's a Noah, and…you know…"

He didn't need any explanation to understand, "I didn't know she was one of them." _Jealousy? From her? Of course not. _"I'll be careful next time, then."

Angel nodded, "Why are you up, anyway?"

"I don't know." Matt stood up and walked away from the edge of the pool when a group of kids ran towards it, "I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."

"Oh." Angel said, "I couldn't go back to sleep either. What about having breakfast? I'm starving."

"Yes." In that moment, Matt's stomach growled, claiming for food, "Let's go. I guess everybody is still asleep?"

"Like logs." Angel smiled…a strange smile. She didn't meet his eyes, and, for a moment, Matt believed she was avoiding them. However, as soon as they crossed the dining room's glass doors and saw Lavi helping himself with some eggs, she returned to her usual self.

"Except one." Angel exclaimed and tiredly sighed.

"Except one." Matt conceded.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm back! For Easter's break, at least. I'm sorry for the delay, but, well...school absorbed me. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. The song used is You don't see me, by SafetySuit, a recommendation of xXRedxXxMidnightXx.

To those ones who also follow Camera Flash: I'm currently working on next chapter, please, be patient. I went through a writer's block that I'm in way of overcoming.

I hope you all had a fabulous Valentine's Day (mine was...awesome!) and Spring break and Easter and everything.

Thank you for your faithfulness and for the reviews and follows :D You're awesome!

To those Allen-Lenalee fans: I promise you some Allena action in next chapter :D I planned to write about them in this chapter, but Matt and Izzie's problems occupied everything! Not my fault, people!

I'll reply to all the PMs in the next days :D Have a nice day!


	16. Pretty Little Liars

_Attached Strings~_

_We were the kings and queens of promise_

_We were the victims of ourselves -Kings and Queens, by Thirty Seconds to Mars_

* * *

><p><em>This love has taken its toll on me<em>

_She said goodbye too many times before_

Lenalee touched blindly the night table's surface. The song that she used as a ringtone flew through the chilly air of the hotel room and she feared it may wake up her roommates.

_And her heart is breaking in front of me_

Her hand finally closed around her iPhone and she creaked open one eye to look at the shiny screen. She clumsily pressed the green button and put the mobile next to her ear.

"e-ello?" She drowsily mumbled.

"Why did it take you so long to pick up the phone? I was about to hang up." Kyle exclaimed from the other line.

Lenalee inhaled deeply and sighed, "It's …" she glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table, "It's four in the morning here."

That made Kyle hesitate, "oh…really? Oh, well…I didn't know that."

The Chinese girl rolled her eyes and delicately stepped out of the bed, making sure she didn't disturb Izzie too much. The girl only babbled something in her dreams and rolled on her side.

Quietly, Lenalee went to the small balcony. When she slid the glass door open, the chilly breeze leaked into the room. She hurried to cross the threshold and closed the door behind her.

The cold night air gave her goose bumps. She rubbed her arms in an endeavor to warm herself up.

"Yeah, well…what's up?"

"Are you sure you don't want to go back to sleep? I mean, I'm already paying a fortune for this call, but if you feel tired-"

"I'm fine, Kyle." She tried to suppress the yawn that crawled to her throat and talked as clearly as she could, "What's up?"

"Huh…well…I just wanted to know about you. It's been a while since we last talked. I miss you."

Even though his voice didn't have any flex of emotion and the sentence came out flat, she smiled warmly upon hearing him, "I miss you too, babe. I'm sorry for not calling before, I've been busy…"

"With the tour, I know." Kyle sighed, slightly disappointed, "Is everything going okay?"

It broke Lenalee's heart to hear him upset. She leaned on the rail, feeling guilty for not calling him before. She had had some spare time, minutes that she could have used to make a fast phone call.

"Yeah, everything's fine. What about you?"

"Fine, fine." He mumbled, "But I feel slightly nervous…you know, about your brother…"

Lenalee flinched. She sensed where this was going.

"Have you told him already?"

She closed her eyes and pressed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index. "Not yet."

"Why?" Kyle asked. From the tone of his voice, Lenalee deduced he was upset.

"Because…" Lenalee frowned, "Because I haven't found a…chance to bring up the topic. I…just give me time, okay?"

Kyle sighed, "I don't want to be pushy, sweetheart, but with each day that goes by I get more and more nervous. The sooner you do it, the-"

"The better for both, I know." The Chinese sighed and looked in the distance. Madrid at night was simply beautiful. Most of the hotel and edifices' lights were off, but the street lamps and the bars' bright signs bestowed the streets life and youthfulness. For a moment, Lenalee wished she was down there with Allen, running through the streets, dancing to the trending songs' vibe. It was nearly four thirty am, and the party didn't seem to have stopped. Or maybe the lively atmosphere was just an effect of the brilliant lights and the speeding cars. For all Lenalee knew, bars started to close around this hour.

"But take your time, don't think too much about me." Kyle assured. Lenalee could hear the soothing smile in his voice, "Do it when you feel comfortable…but just don't delay too much, okay?"

The Chinese couldn't help smiling. He could be sweet sometimes…"I'll text you after I talk to him, okay?"

"Okay. I gotta go to sleep, sweetie. Are you sure you're okay? You sound tired."

Lenalee yawned and said in her sweetest voice, "I'm fine. Go to sleep. We'll keep in touch."

"Okay. Rest a little. I love you, baby."

"I love you too."

Lenalee pressed the red button and looked into the distance. She was sleepy, but she didn't feel like going back to bed. The same speech that she had been preparing for weeks now came back to her head.

_Nii-san, you know how I'm practically an adult now. Well, it is natural…for an adult, to have…relationships. No, no, don't take it like that. Please, let me talk. I am an eighteen year old girl, and I know how to take care of myself. You paid for those tae kwon do lessons, didn't you? Well, I won't let anybody hurt me, and I won't let anybody tear us apart. You are my brother and I love you. I know that you are afraid that some evil man may hurt me or take me away from you but…guess what? Well, I've been dating a guy for over a year and…well, look at me! I'm perfectly fine and I'm right beside you! His name is Kyle and he is gentle, polite and respectful. _

She wanted to believe it was a good speech, but she still feared Komui's reaction. Whichever it was, he was going to exaggerate. Would he get angry at her? Would he be disappointed? Was he going to feel betrayed, hurt? What was he going to do when he realized that everybody else knew about the relationship? Would he unload his anger on them?

With these thoughts in mind, it was impossible for her to go back to sleep. So, she stayed there, in the balcony, dreaming about the different outcomes of her dilemma. Her only consolation was to know that Kyle was an ocean away from Komui.

* * *

><p>By the time Allen arrived to the hall, Lavi, Matt and Angel were already eating in different tables. Lavi was sitting near the buffet bar, alone, while the other two friends ate near the window. They were all still dressed in their pajamas and with the hair disheveled.<p>

Allen wished he could give himself that freedom. If he didn't have to take care of his hand and his hair in order to look less weird, he'd run straight to the food just after jumping out of bed.

Then again, he was not as handsome as Lavi, neither as carefree as Angel and Matt.

He collected a monstrous amount of food and carried it to Lavi's table. The singer received him with a cheerful smile. "Same amount…"

"Different day." Allen completed. It was a local joke, a phrase they invented in their first tour, when the whole band became aware of the amount of food Allen could swallow in consecutive days without getting a stomachache.

"So, did you sleep well? No wet dreams?"

"Lavi!" Allen exclaimed, face red.

"What?" Lavi raised his eyebrows, feigning innocence.

"There are questions…" Allen explained, "That should never be asked."

"So, that's a yes." The singer laughed, "Hmm…Komui won't be very happy~"

Allen's heartbeat sped to one hundred kilometers per hour, and all that he managed to do was to insert a piece of bread in the singer's mouth and push it hard between his teeth to make him shut the fuck up.

Lavi gagged with the bread a second before snatching it out. He examined it and then bit it. "Woah, just kiddin', man." He said with his mouth full.

Allen frowned, "I know, but I like having my head glued to my neck, and if Komui hears you say that…"

Lavi sniggered and rolled his eye, "Komui is not here."

Allen bit off a piece of bacon and nodded, "And how do you know he didn't install a microphone in the depths of my clothes?"

"He is not that…"

Before Lavi could finish the sentence, Allen sent him a meaningful glare.

"Okay, yes, he is that sick." Lavi yielded with a smile, "So…there were no wet dreams?"

"Of course not, Red." Allen exasperatedly burst, "I'm not you."

"I know, there's no way you can be this cool."

"Or stupid, reckless, childish…"

"Hey!"

"Did I already mention stupid?" Allen smiled and then swallowed a pair of scrambled eggs with a glass of orange juice.

Allen saw her coming from the elevators. He smiled and waved at her automatically, and felt his heart fill with warmness when she smiled back.

"Hey, guys." Lenalee saluted. She was wearing a pretty baby blue dress with high-heeled boots and a knitted sweater.

"Buenos días, mademoiselle." Lavi politely replied.

" 'Mornin'" Allen responded, stuffing more food inside his mouth.

Lenalee went to greet Matt and Angel and help herself with a plate of scrambled eggs and bread. Allen could swear she was going to sit with her other friends, but, surprisingly, she came back to his table and sat down beside the keyboardist.

It was true that food absorbed his complete attention most of the times and he became oblivious of the rest of the world while eating. However, he noticed that there was something wrong with Lenalee that morning. She was ominously quiet and toyed with her food absentmindedly.

And he was not the only one to notice. Allen felt a sudden need to strangle Lavi when he asked first.

"Is there something wrong, Lena-Lady?"

Lenalee lifted her gaze long enough to dedicate her friends a brief smile, "Yes, I'm fine."

"_Adre yu sule?" _Allen babbled between bite and bite. Ninety five percent of the world's population wouldn't have understood his mumble, but after years and years of friendship, it was easy for Lenalee to decipher the meaning of his unintelligible sentences.

"Yes, Allen-kun, I'm sure." But her eyes didn't tell the same story. Allen could see the corner of her eyelids colored in red, and a dark ring barely existent circled her eyes. It looked like she didn't sleep well. He decided that he'd not ask or push her unless she wanted to tell him what happened. He had a gut feeling that it was related to Kyle, but he couldn't say that for sure. However, if Kyle was the one who made her this way, he'd have another reason to hate him. Disturbing an artist during a tour was a major crime in the business.

* * *

><p>Izzie tried to stick to Kanda's side, and when he wasn't around, she stayed with Allen or Lenalee. After eating breakfast, the group went to the stadium 'La Peineta' to make the sound test and familiarize with the surroundings. According to Lenalee, they had never performed here. The last time they came to Madrid, they weren't very famous and offered the concert in an auditorium.<p>

Now, they had a stadium for themselves. Izzie wondered if this was the place where the Real Madrid trained. Neither she nor Kanda were into football, but when the organizer mentioned something about soccer players, Lavi and Allen became all excited and effusive. Perhaps they were going to meet Leonel Messi or something like that.

The musicians went onto the stage to revise the right installation of the equipment. The sound engineers went with Thompson, and Komui talked to one of the stadium managers. Before she could do anything to prevent it, Izzie was left alone at one side of the stage.

She shifted her feet uncomfortably and observed the movement. Staff members dressed in black carried beams and lamps across the field. Wherever she looked, there were people fulfilling their duties, and that calmed her down. In a place full of people, Tykki wouldn't dare…

"Good afternoon, s_eñorita._"

A shiver ran down her spine, giving her goose bumps. Slowly, very slowly, she turned around to face him, wishing the greeting had been a product of her imagination.

And there he was. Tall, elegant, handsome and dangerous.

"Ho-how did you find me?" Izzie stammered, dumbfound.

Tykki raised an eyebrow, amused, "Where else would you expect to find Innocence?"

Izzie gulped. Alright, he made his point: silly question. She looked over her shoulder to make sure no one paid attention to her meeting. Kanda and her friends were busy discussing something about wires and a stupid mixer.

"They will be busy for at least another hour." Tykki waved his hand nonchalantly and then offered her his arm, "Shall we go, my lady?"

Izzie stared distrustfully at him, "Where?"

Tykki's mischievous smile faltered and his countenance became serious and grim. He looked at her straight in the eye and wryly smirked, "You'll see. Trust me."

Izzie almost barked out a laugh, "Trust you? Really?"

The Portuguese musician frowned, "Well, you don't have an option, do you?" he said, pointing to Kanda with a movement of his head, "Do it for him."

The girl scowled, "Are you really willing to go on with this madness?"

"Of course." Tykki smiled, "The question is: are you?"

* * *

><p>The sound of rails trembling and metal clashing made her nervous. The air smelled of smoke and burnt gas. People walked around the plaza without paying attention to them. Izzie glanced at the hour on her cell phone's screen. Tykki assured her that he wouldn't entertain her more than an hour and that she'd be back before anyone noticed her absence. For some reason, the idea of Kanda not realizing that she was gone hurt her, as necessary as it was. Could he be so self-involved to not notice she wasn't there anymore?<p>

"How far is it?" Izzie asked. They had left the car behind, since no vehicles were allowed further into the complex. They were someplace near the principal subway station. Tykki had the sensibility to not take her underground, guiding her to the offices instead. She guessed they were standing somewhere above the subway routes' beginning, since the floor trembled now and then and metal screeched below her feet.

"We're…here." Tykki said, halting his hurried walk. He moved aside to let her see their destination.

Izzie stopped breathing.

In a corner formed by what seemed a command kennel and a grey wall someone had built a tiny altar.

Altar was probably too elegant to describe it, though. In the corner, several candles burn inside glasses. Different people looked back at her from the photographs…dozens of photographs that went from big pictures in elegant frames to passport black-and-white photos stapled on the wall. On the kennel's wall someone had written down an endless list of names with permanent marker.

"It was raised to honor the victims of subway accidents." Tykki explained quietly. "The subway workers wrote down the names there," he pointed to the list, "so each time that someone came to pray, the prayer went to all those persons."

Tears rolled down Izzie cheeks' silently. She didn't want to look for her mother's name, but her eyes scanned the list whatsoever.

_Rebeca Fletcher_

The ink was partially washed-out, but the syllables were readable. Izzie touched the rough wall lightly, caressing with her finger each letter, from R to R.

"Why did you bring me here?" she whispered, still too abstracted to think coherently.

"Contrary to what many people believe, I do have a heart." Tykky smugly exclaimed, "I thought you'd like to see this."

She didn't reply. Images of that dreadful day attended her mind in a vortex.

_Screams, cries. _

"_Hold on!" Her father yelled. He pulled Izzie to him, but the impact sent her sliding to the other side of the wagon. Her father's hand grabbed the air. _

"_DADDY!" _

"_IZZIE!_

"_IZZIE!" her mother yelled. Izzie seized a tube with her small hands and clung to it. She opened her eyes to look for her parents. "MOM! DAD!"_

_Rebecca Fletcher gazed at her little daughter, fear oozing through her eyes. There was a loud screech, shrieks and everything disappeared in front of Izzie's eyes._

At least they prayed for her. All the people that came here…they prayed for her.

She could do the same, couldn't she? Pray for her? For all the people that were in the wall? Izzie knew she owed them that much at least.

Thus, she closed her eyes and prayed. It was Rebeca the one that tried to teach her how to talk to God, but after her death, Izzie lost the habit. She had no idea of how she should start. Therefore, she just greeted God clumsily, and, like a little girl, prayed for the safety and welfare of her mother and all the people whose names were written on the wall.

When she was done, she stepped back and looked at Tykki, her vision still clouded by tears, "Thank you." She sincerely murmured.

Tykki half-heartedly smiled, "Now, do I deserve a kiss or what?"

Instead of getting all offended by his comment, Izzie only found herself giggling, "Of course not. Now, take me back to the stadium before Kanda kicks your ass."

Tykki raised an eyebrow, "He couldn't kick me even if he wanted." Upon receiving a glare from Izzie, he shrugged, "A promise is a promise. Let's go."

* * *

><p>The stadium had the capacity to hold twenty thousand persons, and the tickets were sold-out three days after the release. Adrenaline ran through Lenalee's veins during the whole show. Listening to thousands of voices chorusing their names and singing along touched a special fiber in her being. She felt like flying and falling down at the same time, and it was wonderful. The lights, the faces, the roars…it was crazy. Totally crazy.<p>

_Let me hold you  
>For the last time<br>It's the last chance to feel again  
>But you broke me<br>Now I can't feel anything_

_When I love you,_  
><em>It's so untrue<em>  
><em>I can't even convince myself<em>  
><em>When I'm speaking,<em>  
><em>It's the voice of someone else<em>

_Oh it tears me up_  
><em>I try to hold on, but it hurts too much<em>  
><em>I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay<em>

Lavi's voice flew through the air, and her voice harmonized with his perfectly. The instruments followed them in their frenzy, or maybe the singers were the ones following the instruments…who could tell? It didn't matter. The sound was amazing, the public was wonderful and the show was, all in all, terrific.

_You can't play on broken strings  
>You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel<br>I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Oh the truth hurts_  
><em>And lies worse<em>  
><em>How can I give anymore<em>  
><em>When I love you a little less than before<em>

_Oh what are we doing_  
><em>We are turning into dust<em>  
><em>Playing house in the ruins of us<em>

_Running back through the fire_  
><em>When there's nothing left to save<em>  
><em>It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late<em>

Lenalee never wanted to get off the stage. She wanted to stay there, singing and dancing endlessly. Here, she felt alive, fearless. Down…well, once she got down this specific stage, she was going to tell Komui about Kyle, and all her courage and energy would probably be dragged away.

But, for now, she just wanted to sing…she just wanted to do what she loved and enjoy the ecstasy of the moment.

_Oh it tears me up  
>I try to hold on, but it hurts too much<br>I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay_

_You can't play on broken strings_  
><em>You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel<em>  
><em>I can't tell something that ain't real<em>

_Well the truth hurts,_  
><em>And lies worse<em>  
><em>How can I give anymore<em>  
><em>When I love you a little less than before<em>

* * *

><p>They were back on the road, in the middle of the night, playing 'Resist or go to sleep'. This time, Lenalee didn't join the game except for two tequila shots she swallowed to give herself some courage. She needed her head clear if she wanted to retaliate Komui's possible arguments.<p>

The female singer silently sat next to Komui on one of the seats behind the driver. Their manager smiled at her and welcomed his little sister with a hug.

Lenalee embraced him with her slim arms. She buried her face in his neck and breathed in, like little Lenalee used to do when she was scared. That simple touch always soothed her fears and worries.

But not this time. Now, it only made her feel a stab of guilt. _You lied to him. You lied to him for over a year._

Before she could utter a word, Lenalee burst into tears.

Komui caressed her hair, perplexed, "Lenalee? What's wrong?" he tried to make her look at him, but Lenalee only pressed her face against his chest and cried.

"Lenalee?" Komui's tone suggested fear. Lenalee guessed it was natural that he felt afraid, since he didn't have a clue of why she was crying. She tried to talk, but only an unintelligible croak came out when she opened her mouth.

Komui had no option but to hold her close and wait patiently for her to calm down. The racket at the back of the bus silenced her sobs, so no one but the driver and Komui were aware of Lenalee's state. In secret, the Chinese girl felt grateful for that.

"Did they do something to you?" Komui worriedly asked, "Did they abuse you? Touched you? Did they-"

"I'm sorry." The girl finally mumbled, "I'm so so so so so sorry."

Lenalee felt Komui's muscles tense. "Sorry about what? You haven't-"

"About hiding it from you." Lenalee sobbed, "I'm so sorry. But I was afraid…I…I was afraid that you didn't….approve. Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about?"

Her speech, her speech….where did the speech go when she needed it?

* * *

><p>AN: aaaaand yes, I'm a horrible human being, I know. I just couldn't resist the idea of leaving this cliffhanger, although most of you want to hang me right now xD

I'm sorry for being away for another month or so, but, there are good news! I'm on vacations :D Finally! I will take a summer course, but it won't take more than two hours per day, so, don't worry, I'll be updating more frequently now than before :D

The song is Broken Strings- James Morrison and Nelly Furtado. This is the song that inspired this whole sequel, and I feel terrible for not using it before xD Anyway, since I have already covered half of the story -or at least the most difficult part, which is setting up the situations-, I thought it was just appropriate to use the song :D By the way, it is also the single of Innocence's new album. I'll give a psychological cookie to those ones who remember the album's name!

Thank you for sticking with this story throughout the months, albeit the updates are getting slower and slower. You're awesome n.n

Hope you have a nice day :D

Pd. for those ones wondering: yes, Tykki did return Izzie to the Stadium.


	17. When a heart starts to break

_Attached Strings~_

_should I keep on waiting  
>while you keep fading?- Holding on to nothing by Lovers and Liars<em>

"Lenalee?" Komui worriedly asked. He delicately lifted her face up to look at her glossy eyes.

She beheld his face. Preoccupation contorted his countenance, and a deep, sincere love shone in his eyes, behind the glasses. How could she lie to him? To him! The only person that loved her unconditionally in the good and the bad times…

She was the worst sister in the world…

"You can tell me anything, Lenalee." Komui murmured, trying to make her calm down, but that only renewed the hysterical cry. She clung to his shirt and sobbed.

"I'm sorry…" she kept mumbling, making up for the lack of words.

Without knowing what else to do or say, Komui only held her close and waited patiently. His silence helped her to put herself together and after deep breaths, she finally straightened her back and locked gazes with Komui.

No speech would ever change the fact that she had a boyfriend, she realized. No words would take back the lies and the time, so there was no point in wasting her saliva, it would not make the news more bearable. That would be only more time thrown away.

"I'm dating someone." She spit out recklessly.

Komui stared at her in a stunned silence. She watched his Adam's apple move vertically as he gulped.

"His name is Kyle…and he studies in my same school. He is a nice guy, Nii-san, I swear. Allen knows him, and he…he approves. You know how he is…I…" she gulped, unnerved by his silence, "And I'm fine…I'm happy, I swear!" she forcefully smiled, "I wanted you to know because…you're my brother…please…please, say something…"

She watched his expressionless countenance with increasing nervousness. Slowly, his unreadable face changed to one of uncontained pain. He looked downwards, swallowed loudly and returned her the gaze, "For how long?"

Now, this was the worst part…the question Lenalee feared the most. She could lie to him, but that wouldn't solve anything. "A year and three months."

Komui's face contorted. Lenalee could almost enumerate the emotions that showed through his dark eyes: pain, anger, disappointment…

She reached out and held his hands between hers, "I wanted to tell you, I really wanted to, but I was so afraid of your reaction… Allen and Kyle wanted me to tell you too."

"Why now?" he acidly muttered.

"Kyle wants to meet you." Lenalee sighed, "He…wants to make things right."

"Well," Komui stood up and approached the economic kitchen parsimoniously. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out a knife, "He'll know me."

Then, he came back to his usual self, "MARTIN, TAKE THIS GODDAMNED THING TO AN AIRPORT! I'M SLICING THAT PERVERT DOWN!"

"NII-SAN!"

Komui jumped to the driver's seat and threatened Martin with the knife. Lenalee guessed he didn't really want to hurt the man; he was just looking for someone to unload his anger on.

"Oh…sir…we…the next airport…Barcelona.." the poor driver stuttered, sweat suddenly sliding down his forehead.

Lenalee took Komui's arm and softly guided him to the seats, apologizing to the driver, "Nii-san, calm down. He's not guilty-"

"You're right." He exclaimed, stood up again and glared at the bewildered group of musicians, "YOU!" He pointed at them with the knife. Angel gasped and Matt put himself in front of her. Kanda, on the other hand, pushed Izzie behind his back clumsily.

"YOU TRAITORS! YOU KNEW AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! TRAITORS! TREASON!"

"What the ffff-fuck?" Kanda was too drunk to function correctly, but he managed to pull off a frown, even when he staggered a bit.

"YOU KNEW MY PRECIOUS SISTER HAD A…A…." Komui seemed to have problems wording out the noun, so he simply burst out, "DIDN'T YOU?! DIDN'T YOU?!"

Allen gave Lenalee a meaningful glance. He was not drunk enough to stop understanding what was going on. Lenalee only shrugged and smiled apologetically at him.

"Ow, man, rr-relaaxsss" Lavi exclaimed, high with alcohol. He staggered towards Komui thoughtlessly, as if he didn't have a knife in his hand.

Angel took Lavi's arm and roughly pulled him back. Lenalee did the same with her brother, although softly and pronouncing soothing words, "It's okay, Nii-san." She enveloped his hand between her fingers and tried to make him put the knife down, "They…did what they had to do. They supported me…and protected me."

"THEY INDUCED YOU INTO EVIL, DIDN'T THEY?!" He barked, relentless. "ESPECIALLY THAT MAN!" he sent Kanda a withering look, "THAT MAN AND HIS DISSOLUTED WAYS AND HIS…HIS…HIS GIRLFRIEND!" he glared at Izzie, "LIVING TOGETHER!"

"Mind your own problems, sister complex." Kanda angrily snorted, keeping Izzie behind him.

"HOW DARE YOU-"

"Alright, enough!" Lenalee stepped in front of Komui, her fists on her hips, and looked severely at him, "This is not their fault. I wanted to be with Kyle. I _like _Kyle. I…" she hesitated for a second, and then, recovering her composure, she determinately affirmed, "I love him, and I want to be with him. We just want your…blessing."

Komui stood her gaze and hesitated. He slowly put the knife down, "But, Lenalee…that man…that…that Kyle…" he spat the name as if it was venom, "He-"

"He loves me." She assured, even though it didn't feel quite right. Was she sure he loved her as much as she loved him? However, she couldn't back down now, "I need you to trust in my judgment. Don't you trust me?"

"Y-yes…"

"Then, accept my decision and…be happy for me." She smiled to soften the atmosphere.

Komui's shoulders slumped and he looked at his sister with surrender and tenderness mixed, "I love you, Lenalee." He whispered. He threw the knife to the floor and hugged the young singer, "I just don't want anyone to hurt you."

"He won't" she murmured, "I'll introduce you to him when we get back, okay?" she felt Komui nod mutely and smirked, "Only if you promise to behave."

The manager grunted, not quite convinced, but his lack of retaliation was enough for Lenalee.

* * *

><p>The next morning they woke up by a restaurant next to the road. They were still two hours away from Barcelona and the driver needed to rest and the band, to eat.<p>

Allen didn't suffer hangover like most of the people. He just needed a cold shower and the headache would be gone by midday. However, it still felt like a hammer hit his head when Komui ordered them to get up and refresh themselves.

The British boy slid out of bed with a grunt. He stumbled towards the door, rubbing his temples to control the headache.

The sun blinded Allen's dilated pupils as soon as he stepped outside. He narrowed his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the illumination before looking around. They were near the parking lot of a shack with a sign of 'Comedor de María'. Besides it, a list of dishes was written down on a chalk board. Allen's stomach grumbled upon sniffing the delicious smell of sausages and pepper.

He was about to go into there when someone rubbed his arm and gently pulled him. Allen turned around to see Komui, clean and smart like always, although with his hair undone.

"Can I talk to you honestly?" he said in a rather calmed voice.

Allen didn't let himself be deceived by Komui's rather civilized behavior. It was still vivid in his mind the image of the man menacing them with a knife last night.

Warily, Allen sent him a sideways glance and nodded.

Komui smirked at him. He guided Allen to the back part of the bus, away from the door and the band members, "How is he?" he abruptly said.

Allen knew who he referred to without asking, "He seems honest." He said, averting his gaze, "He…well, he is…tall…with black hair and…I guess he is good-looking." It made Allen sad to enumerate the virtues, physical virtues, of the man Lenalee claimed to love. No matter where you saw it from, Kyle had everything Allen lacked of: charm, strength, muscles… They were two worlds apart, and Lenalee chose Kyle's world, "He liked Lenalee since Junior High, from what I've heard."

"Is he…" Komui scowled, evidently uncomfortable with the conversation, "Is he…honorable?"

Allen frowned, "Maybe you should have this conversation with Lenalee." He cautiously suggested.

Allen expected some kind of aggressive retaliation, but everything that Komui did was sigh in surrender and stare at the horizon. The British would have left if it hadn't looked rude, especially with the manager in such emotional state.

"I always thought it'd be you." He bashfully confessed after a while.

The keyboardist looked up at him, "Huh?"

"You always hung out together, understood each other…it seemed logical."

Allen looked down at his feet silently. He used to think it too…he even confused things terribly last year and made a fool out of himself in front of dozens of persons, and just to find out that Lenalee was already in love with another man. He was a football player, a tall, handsome and popular boy with dark hair and perfect eyes. Allen never had a chance…besides him he was nothing else but an outcast albino.

It made sense that Lenalee, pretty, agreeable and popular, hung out with Kyle. It was as if they were meant for each other. This was the natural way of things, and Allen should start learning that. There were no exceptions to the rule: the popular girl always ended up with the popular boy. That was it. No movie and no spectacular, happy endings.

Since he guessed Komui wanted a response and not just to have him brooding by his side, Allen swallowed saliva –and his pride- and mumbled, "But it didn't happen like that."

The silence extended for another tense seconds, and then Komui pronounced words that were so unnatural and unexpected that Allen needed extra seconds to process the information, "I wish it was you."

At first, the words made a meaningless sentence. What? What was that? Did Komui just say…

When his brain decoded the sentence, Allen gulped and mumbled, "Why?"

Komui looked down at him sympathetically and smirked, "Because I know you love her more than any other brat out there."

Allen gaped at Komui. His eyes prickled suddenly and his mouth dried. He averted his gaze, ashamed of being caught and, moreover, of being pitied by Komui. Was he that obvious?

Komui patted his back supportively and sighed, "I know you'd never do anything that hurt her."

"Probably because you know where I live?" he joked in an endeavor to hide his grim mood.

Komui chuckled heartlessly. He ruffled Allen's hair, "Thank you, Allen."

"For what?"

"For taking care of her." said this, Komui walked away. As he strode along the side of the bus, he hit the vehicle and yelled like he did every day: "GET UP, GET UP, WE HAVE HALF AN HOUR TO EAT!" Afterwards, he walked into the restaurant, ignoring on purpose the grunts and insults that Kanda uttered loudly.

Allen stayed where he was and leaned on the bus. He observed the panorama. The highway was empty and the sun was low on the East. He sucked in the cold air while dwelling on Komui's words. So he knew…of course he knew, he fucking kissed Lenalee whilst drunk! But Allen never imagined that the manager could approve. He always pictured Komui biting off his head the moment he knew Lenalee and him were together…if there was ever a chance of that happening. Allen wouldn't mind losing his head for Lenalee. After all, he had already lost it metaphorically.

He remembered the last night's happenings. Lenalee did mention that Kyle wanted her to tell Komui about their relationship, but she never told Allen when she was doing it. Exactly when did she take the decision? Why didn't she communicate it to him? He would have helped her… Did he offend her in some way? Had she discovered that he still had feelings for her albeit saying the opposite?

Whatever the reason of her silence was, he'd never know, because he'd never ask her. Bitching, or even asking, about it would be possessive and low. Allen trusted Lenalee and her judgment. If she did it on her own, it was because she felt better doing it that way and that was all…wasn't it?

He trusted her. Then, why was he feeling so uneasy and lost? What was this emptiness inside him? Why the announcement of the relationship affected him this much? He rubbed his chest, searching for the beat of his heart and sighed. It was regular and strong, telling him that he was alive. Why did it hurt, though?

_Because she made it official, _a voice in his mind said, _She said she loved him to Komui._

And that was it, Allen realized. That was a huge step forward with no possible turn backwards. Lenalee told Komui that she loved Kyle.

If she had the guts to tell Komui was because she was sure of her feelings.

Lenalee loved Kyle.

And something in Allen died every time he thought about it. It accelerated his respiration and pained his chest.

_And what did you expect? That she realized you are the one she loves? Did you really have hopes?_

Allen closed his eyes: to the world, to reality, to the truth itself.

She loved Kyle. Not him.

"Allen-kun?" her soft, sing-sang voice called.

Allen inhaled deeply, opened his eyes and smiled at her, "Hey."

She was smart and clean as always…and beautiful. So beautiful it hurt to behold her.

"Are you okay?" she quietly asked.

"Yes." Allen lied effortlessly. He had been doing it for quite a long time by now, "You?"

Lenalee sighed and leaned on the bus beside him, "I don't know. Nii-san seems to be accepting it…more less."

"He is just worried." Allen defended, _we all are,_ "Give him time."

Lenalee half-heartedly smirked and nudged him, "And you? Have you talked to the girl of the key charm?" she subtly changed the subject, turning the conversation to his love life. Allen guessed she didn't feel comfortable talking about her last night's behavior.

Allen grasped the keyboard charm Izzie had given him in Lisbon. She told him secretly that it was from Rhode Camelot and that she wanted a date. Although the songwriter said it in a confidential manner, Lenalee overheard the conversation and asked Allen about it afterwards.

"I'm not interested." He sentenced, "I mean, it was nice and everything but…"

"But?" Lenalee tilted her head to one side and stared at him with curiosity.

Allen looked at her for a moment. Her eyes were shinning with excitement. It was evident that she felt happy for him and the possibility of Allen moving on definitely. Little did she know that Allen would never move on as long as she and her perfection were around.

However, Allen understood that it would make her happy to see him go out with someone else. Perhaps it had something to do with her desire to share the 'couple happiness' with him. In spite of rejecting his romantic approaches, she was his best friend and wanted nothing but happiness for him, and since she found it in a relationship with Kyle, Lenalee probably believed that Allen should find it too with a European girl.

"She is a Noah." He objected.

Lenalee rolled her eyes and smiled, "She is a girl, Allen. A young teenager. I bet everything she thinks about is you and boy bands."

"That doesn't make her any less Noah." He scowled, disgusted by the mere idea.

"Don't despise her for her family's sins." The young singer softly scolded, "It is not her fault. Maybe she is a sweet girl. Give her a chance."

Allen suppressed the need to snarl and only sighed, "I'll think about it."

"You said that last time." Lenalee nagged.

"I mean it this time." The British looked up at her and smiled, "I'll consider it…seriously." Eager to finish their conversation, Allen straightened and pointed towards the restaurant with a swift movement of his head, "C'mon, let's eat something."

Lenalee stared at him questioningly before nodding.

* * *

><p>Izzie sat down on a chair and avoided the looks of the family in the farthest table. She put her head between her hands and breathed in quietly. Kanda sat down beside her with a grunt.<p>

Since neither of them was used to drink excessively, their hangovers were always the worst. Kanda was in a fouler mood than usual and she didn't feel like putting up with his whims. Thus, Izzie ignored his morning rage and stumbled out of the bus without waiting for him.

Matt and Angel sat down across them on the table, and Lavi occupied the seat beside Kanda seconds later. Thompson, the driver and Nina sat somewhere near Komui and, finally, Lenalee and Allen joined the group at the common table.

They ate breakfast in a tired silence. Izzie glanced at Kanda now and then, wondering what he was thinking. Would it be about her health? Would he be worried about the unhealthy amount of alcohol she ingested last night? Izzie didn't quite enjoy the sensation of being drunk, but, unlike other nights, she felt like she really needed to drown her thoughts in alcohol.

After Tykki returned her to the stadium, she ran towards the side of the stage and pretended to have been there the whole time. She even prepared an assortment of excuses she could give to Kanda to explain the absence.

However, Kanda didn't say anything. Only Lavi and Angel only gave her inquiring looks, yet, they remained quiet. The other members of the band didn't notice…they…

Kanda didn't notice her one-hour absence and that was disturbing. Even though she should feel relief upon not having to explain, the bassist's obliviousness hurt. What if she hadn't return? How long would it take for him to notice she went missing? Did he care that little for her? Didn't he look after her?

Those questions crowded her mind, one after the other, stumbling to occupy the first spot in her consciousness. They had had a conversation in the park…yes, but…but…

_It was because I forced him to have it_, the bitter woman in her head said, _not because he wanted to. _

_That's ridiculous_, she scolded at herself, shaking her head. They had talked…he even admitted his own clumsiness with words, thing that he wouldn't have done with anyone else. He made her promise to tell him everything…

And she broke the promise a few minutes later.

Maybe she deserved this. Maybe she deserved his indifference. After all, she was the oath breaker and the liar. The least she could get as a vengeance was a little bit of disregard.

Nonetheless, if still felt like a stab in the heart.

And in the head. Ugh…Izzie swallowed the black coffee and asked for a glass of cold water.

She toyed with her food absentmindedly, not hungry at all, until the door of the restaurant opened again.

Four persons strode ceremoniously into the shack. Two were dressed in fancy clothes, while the other two, one with a blonde mane and the other with short, black hair, seemed rather scruffy and carefree.

Izzie recognized them without giving the group a second glance. As if feeling her gaze, the blonde one turned around and smiled devilishly at her, "Lady girl!" he cheerfully greeted.

Jasdero and Debitto approached her with similar grins, glimmering, yellow eyes and rhythmic steps.

"How-" Jasdero started.

"Are you?" Debitto finished, passing an arm around her shoulders.

"I hope you remember us!"

"We're unforgettable!" both laughed earnestly and high fived each other.

Izzie shook Debitto away and glared at the brothers, "What do you want?"

Kanda, not so kindly, shoved Debitto's arm away and stood up, "Fuck off."

"Woah, woah, chill out, pretty face." Debitto raised his arms, palms out, in a peace gesture, "We just came by to say hi."

"We don't want your fucking greetings!" Kanda pushed the chair away and stepped between Izzie and the duo, "Get away from her." He deadpanned.

Lavi and Allen were already up, ready to interfere if a fight exploded.

"Kanda…" Izzie shyly pulled Kanda's sleeve, "Leave them. Let's eat." Needless it is to say how nervous Izzie felt in that moment. The threats against Kanda were always at the edge of her mind, and right now all her fears were starting to materialize. To have Noahs and Kanda in the same room was the dreadful situation she had tried to avoid the past days.

If he could only calm down…

"Why so aggressive, pretty face?" Jasdero laughed mockingly and stepped closer to Kanda, "Afraid we might steal your-"

"Enough." A third voice interfered. Tykki appeared behind his two peers and put a hand on each one's shoulder, "Let our travel mates eat alone." He looked up at Kanda and then scanned the whole table, dedicating each occupant a breath-taking, cynical smile.

Upon hearing the words 'travel mates', Komui frowned and glared at the Noahs, "I don't remember having any contract to travel with you."

"Oh, no, of course you don't." A female, Lulubell, approached from Matt's side and lingered by his chair, "We're travelling on our own." Slowly, almost seductively, her hand caressed the back of Matt's chair. She leaned closer to his ear and purred, "Long time no see, Matthew"

Matt gulped and shifted uncomfortably on his chair, "Matt." He cleared his throat, "Just Matt is fine."

"You're following us?" Allen exclaimed, scowling, "That's pathetic."

Jasdero and Debitto guffawed at the same time, an utterly bothersome sound that even disturbed the family eating by the corner.

Tykki didn't seem quite pleased with the display of diversion. He sent his companions a withering look and then smiled politely at the members of the table, "We have business to do and we owe you no explanation." Then, he smiled blatantly at Izzie, "Except you, maybe."

Izzie swallowed loudly and felt Kanda's eyes lay upon her form. What the hell was Tykki Mikk doing with the open flirt? She thought they were going to keep this a secret…wasn't that the deal?

But, then again, they didn't have a specific 'contract' with clauses about what they were allowed to do and what not. Izzie suddenly considered the idea of writing one. Meanwhile, she had to deal with this without attracting unwanted attention. Therefore, she diverted her gaze with a haughty movement of her head and sneered, "You owe me nothing. I have nothing to do with you."

She didn't turn around to observe Tykki's expression, although she was dying from the curiosity.

"You heard her." Kanda growled and touched her shoulder possessively, "Fuck off. Go wherever you want, but not near her."

Her heart lifted and swelled. Kanda…always so protective. Even though she didn't wish for, well, dangerous situations, she liked it when Kanda defended her. It reassured to her the existence of Kanda's unconditional love. The fact that he was willing to fight for her made all their problems fade away. What if they had their differences? What if he acted cold and aloof sometimes? That didn't mean he didn't love her…right?

Tykki babbled something that seemed like a sardonic apology and walked away.

From the corner of her eye, Izzie saw Lulubell hover over Matt. She slid something into his shirt's pocket and then walked away, wiggling her hips with every step she gave. Izzie stared discreetly at Matt to see his reaction. The boy's cheeks had acquired a fade-pink color, and his fingers touched lightly the pocket where the paper was in.

Beside him, Angel glanced at the boy quizzically. Izzie would have taken the look as a simple, mute question, or just confusion, if she hadn't known Angel better. However, in spite of the recent distance, Izzie still had the ability to decipher Angel's humors from the expression in her countenance, and what she saw wasn't only confusion. When she fixated her eyes on the plate before her, Angel scowled and picked the food absentmindedly, deaf to the discussion going on around the table.

Could it be that Angel felt like she was being casted aside? No, that didn't have sense. Matt never disdained her neither preferred Lulubell over the young singer.

Then…maybe…maybe Angel felt threatened by Lulubell. But, why? She wasn't taking Matt away, was she?

Was Angel jealous?

* * *

><p>AN: finally new chapter! This one was a little bit longer to make up for the wait :) I hope you liked it.

Thank you for sticking up with the story. You make my life more amazing!

Thanks for the reviews :D I hope I might be able to reply to most of them and to the PMs. I'll be soon getting back on track with the songs, so don't lose hope! It's a challenge to use all the song requests I have, but I'm glad to take it up :D

Hope you have a wonderful day/night.


	18. Subtle hints

_Attached Strings~_

_Is it really possible to tell someone else what one feels? -Leo Tolstoy_

* * *

><p>As soon as they arrived to Barcelona, Lenalee got into a phone cab and dialed Kyle's home number.<p>

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered when the telephone operator connected her to Denver. A smile involuntarily spread across her face and she toyed with a free strand of hair absentmindedly as she waited.

A drowsy, male's voice babbled something incoherently. Lenalee pronounced Kyle's name shyly and the voice was substituted by the sound of shuffle and a knock.

Then, Kyle's guttural voice reached her ear, "Lena?"

Lenalee smiled, "Hey, sweetie."

"Do you know what time it is?" he growled annoyingly, "It's…ugh…" on the other side of the line, there was a clatter and a dry thump, "It's three in the morning here."

Lenalee's heart sank upon hearing him so vexed. A stab of guilt sliced her heart and she swallowed, "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't know." Whispered Kyle sarcastically under his breath, more to himself than to Lenalee, "Well, what's up?"

"I-" Fretfully, Lenalee leaned on the side of the phone cab and glanced at her watch. She only had ten minutes, "I wanted to tell you that I told Nii-san about us."

There was a moment of silence and then an exclamation, "Oh, really? Wow…and couldn't you wait until tomorrow to tell me?"

Lenalee frowned, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know the hour." She repeated.

"Just kidding, love." Kyle softly replied, although he didn't seem to be honest at all with that, "How did he take it?"

Lenalee bit her lip, "Fine, I guess…well, I mean…he made a big fuss about it, but I think he is finally accepting it right now."

"Oh." Was all Kyle said. Then, he yawned, "Honey, I have to play tomorrow. Mind if I call you back later?"

Something about his lack of interest bothered Lenalee. Wasn't he the one insisting on confessing their situation to Komui? Why, all of a sudden, did he act like he didn't care?

Lenalee wanted to rant against him, to tell him that she had paid for ten minutes and she wanted to use them talking about the 'so important matter' Kyle had been bitching about for the last month.

However, everything that came out from her mouth was, "Okay, sorry, love. Call you later."

* * *

><p>Izzie sneaked out of the hotel a quarter after midnight. She put on a pair of tennis shoes and a dark-blue hoodie.<p>

She turned her face away from the night watchman and waltzed to an alley a few feet away from the hotel. There, she took off the hood and waited patiently.

A dark figure approached her. It was dressed in black, with an old-fashioned, tall hat on his head. As soon as he saw her, he dropped the cigarette from his mouth and stepped on it nonchalantly.

The man leaned arrogantly on the wall, in front of Izzie, and smiled, showing off a set of perfectly white teeth.

"So, why did you want to see me, honey?" Tykki Mikk sweetly asked.

Izzie flinched at the tone, yet, she said nothing. Instead, she pulled out of her bag a folded paper and handed it to Tykki Mikk, "A contract."

"A contract?" the man raised his eyebrows, surprised.

"If we are going to do…" Izzie frowned as she searched a word to describe their situation. When she couldn't find one, she just made a vague movement with her hand and settled for, "this, we need to have some rules."

She assumed that Tykki Mikk would get offended, or that he would even refuse to do such a silly thing. However, the singer only chuckled well-naturedly and unfolded the paper, "Okay, let's see what we have here." He moved towards a street lamp and read under the yellow light. Izzie followed him reluctantly.

"First: no open flirting. Flirting?" Tykki raised another eyebrow and laughed, "If you call a conversation 'flirt', then you don't know anything about human sexuality." He gave her a sideways, dirty glance, and smiled charmingly at the young girl. "Sweetheart, I-"

"Keep on reading." Izzie commanded and crossed her arms stubbornly.

Her adamancy seemed to take Tykki slightly aback. He blinked and then hid his bewilderment behind a smug smile, "Alright, second…hmm…no surnames?"

"No sweetie, baby, honey, sweetheart or anything similar." Izzie explained.

Tykki twisted his mouth, "Now, that's ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I don't like it." The girl deadpanned.

Tykki stared at her with a calculative expression for two long seconds and then went back to his literature, "No phone calls, only text messages. Okay, that seems fair enough. Hmmm."

He read thoroughly the following clauses, not complaining about anything at all. Izzie believed herself to be quite reasonable, so she couldn't find a reason why Tykki would oppose to sign the contract.

"Well, so, summing this up," Tykki folded the piece of paper again and handed it to Izzie, "We're sex-free lovers?"

Izzie lost her balance for a second, "We don't use the word 'lovers'. We're nothing. This is just you trying to…prove something to yourself, and this is me setting up the rules."

"Well, since you can't get out of this, it seems fair." Tykki haughtily assured, "I'm still not sure about the surnames and the smoking thing, though." To make out his point, he pulled out of his breast pocket a cigarette and a lighter.

Izzie swiftly snatched it out of his mouth and stamped it on the floor, "No smoking while you're near me."

"Alright, alright," seeing that she was being pretty serious about it, Tykki lifted his hands in a surrender gesture and stepped back, "Then, I can call you surnames."

Izzie scowled, "What?"

"I'm asking you to cross out one of the two stupid petitions." Izzie disliked the term 'petition'. This was not a request letter; it was a list of rules, "Either I smoke and stop calling you by cheesy names, or I call you whatever I want and I stop smoking."

The girl narrowed her eyes, "I'm not bargaining, Mikk. These are my rules. You either take them, or-"

Tykki smiled, "Or your pretty boy goes three meters underground."

Izzie scowled and sent Tykki a withering look. She snatched the paper out of Tykki's hand and stole one of his pens from his pocket, "Alright, moron, the surnames rule is out." She hissed between clenched teeth as she crossed out that line.

"That's my girl." Tykki chuckled and took both, paper and pen, "Now, turn around."

"Huh?"

"So I can sign the damn thing on your back."

"Use the wall." Izzie curtly said.

Far from getting offended by her attitude, Tykki shook his head and did as she commanded. Once the paper was signed , he returned it to Izzie for her to sign it as well.

"Then, it's done."

"Okay." The man took out a cigarette, "Calm down, I'm not going to lit it up yet." He assured when Izzie's menacing glare reached him.

"Okay…"

"So, I'll see you at the concert."

"Are you attending?" Izzie warily asked.

"Oh, you didn't know?" he feigned innocence and smiled excitedly, "We're your surprise openers."

* * *

><p>Kanda's stomach was about to explode from the contained anger. He wanted to punch everyone in the face, especially Tykki Mikk and the genius that had the idea of making Noah's Ark their brand-new extra openers.<p>

They had their own openers. Why did the stupid auditorium council decided to involve a group of tasteless dimwits?

He tried to follow Izzie's advice and ignore them, but it was so fucking difficult when the demoniac twins laughed so fucking loudly and the idiotic bitch waltzed around like she was the most beautiful thing in the goddamned planet. They sickened him, and Kanda had little stomach for this shit.

The rehearsal had been extremely tedious. Since they were planning a different entrance for this concert, Innocence spent a whole day in the auditorium, together with Noah's Ark, and Kanda's limit had been surpassed several times by now.

Also, the tense atmosphere was almost electrical and it gave him goose bumps. The enmity between Noah's Ark and Innocence could be tasted in the air, yet, they gave it a truce and avoided conflicts.

During the night of the concert, Innocence band waited patiently behind the stage. Angel's music reached them from the front stage meanwhile, her voice and Matt's harmonizing and exchanging verses perfectly.

_it's been so long  
>since you've shown me a sign of life<br>this feeling comes and goes  
>but it's here tonight<br>this time the hurt isn't worth  
>putting up the fight<br>I wish my head could tell my heart  
>how to get it right<br>I thought I'd be someone you'd love by now_

Izzie subtly leaned on his arm and put her head on his shoulder. The contact helped Kanda calm down. Her soft, quiet breathing filled him with a warm feeling that prompted him to surround her waist with his arm and pull her closer. Her sweet scent penetrated his nose and, all of a sudden, his anger relented for a second.

_should I keep on waiting  
>while you keep fading?<em>

_I keep holding on to nothing_

_with every move I make I only push you away_  
><em>why must I kill everything that I try to save?<em>  
><em>some want it all but it's only you I crave<em>  
><em>with every word I write I'm only digging my grave<em>  
><em>I thought I'd be someone you'd love by now<em>

As the lyrics acquired meaning, Kanda gave Lavi a swift sideways glance. The singer's countenance was expressionless, almost cold, although his hands were clenched into fists and his shoulders trembled. Kanda could've said that it was anger, but Lavi never reacted that way to anything. If he didn't like the lyrics, he'd just wrap himself in carelessness, like he always did when something disgusted him.

Therefore, the man's physical language was as contradictory as his own actions. He said that he didn't care about Angel anymore, yet, the encountered feelings in his interior oozed through his brusque treatment whenever the girl was around. Therefore, Kanda didn't believe him when he said that he didn't hold feelings for the young singer. It was clear to him how much Lavi craved for her, principally because he hid it behind rudeness, the same way he masked his melancholy with alcohol and hookers.

_I'd give you anything you want  
>but you want anything but me<em>

you have everything you need  
>and that's anyone but me<p>

After Nana's songs, fucking Noah's Ark got up the stage and started to play a song in Spanish. Kanda didn't get a word of what it said, but he found Izzie smiling at whatever stupid message the song had.

"Why are you smiling?"

"The song is cute." She replied nonchalantly, "I think it's romantic."

"It's bullshit." Kanda snarled, "Don't forget who they are."

Izzie rolled her eyes and smiled, "I'm not saying I like them. I'm just saying I like the song."

"That's pretty much the same." Kanda argued stubbornly. Izzie didn't reply, probably in an endeavor to not fuel his anger even more, and Kanda thanked the thoughtfulness in silence. There would be nothing worse than to have his girlfriend defending those idiots.

Another song was finished, and then Tykki Mikk's voice resounded through the microphone. He was saying something in a clean Spanish, and Kanda didn't understand it. However, when he saw Lavi frown and glance at Izzie while she scowled too, he got an icky feeling.

An acoustic guitar started to play at a really slow, soft tempo.

_Have I told you how good  
>It feels to be me<br>When I'm in you  
>I can only stay clean<br>When you are around  
>Don't let me fall<em>

_If I close my eyes for ever_  
><em>Would it ease the pain<em>  
><em>Could I breath again<em>

Izzie shivered between his arms, and Kanda looked at her quizzically. She was pale and wide-eyed.

_Baby I'm addicted and out of control  
>But you're the drug that keeps me from dying<br>Baby I'm a liar but all I really know  
>Is you're the only reason I'm trying<em>

_I'm wasting away_  
><em>Made a million mistakes<em>  
><em>Am I to late<em>  
><em>There's a storm in my head<em>  
><em>And it rains on my bed<em>  
><em>When you're not here<em>  
><em>I'm not afraid of dying<em>  
><em>But I'm afraid of losing you<em>

"Big fat asshole." Izzie mumbled.

Kanda scowled, "What?"

" .Asshole." she repeated out-loud. "How dare he…how?" she squirmed fretfully between his arms and sent him a nervous look.

"What's going on, Izzobel?" he grimly questioned, returning her an intense gaze.

"He is so…shameless, he…" she averted her gaze and blushed out of indignation.

_Baby I'm addicted and out of control  
>But you're the drug that keeps me from dying<br>Baby I'm a lair but all I really know  
>Is you're the only reason I'm trying<em>

_When you're lying next to me_  
><em>Love is going through to me<em>  
><em>O it's beautiful<em>

_Everything is clear to me_  
><em>Till I hit reality<em>  
><em>I lose it all<em>  
><em>I lose it all<em>  
><em>I lose it all<em>

His brain's engines started to work, and an idea formed in his head. Since he didn't understand a bit of Spanish, he was forced to ask, "What did he say?"

"Nothing." Izzie abruptly spat and wriggled out of his touch. "I-I…ugh…"

"Izzobel." Kanda grabbed her arm and lifted her head up with the other hand, obliging the girl to look at his face, "Tell me."

Izzie gulped audibly and tried to evade Kanda's eyes, eliciting his anger. However, Kanda was not going to make the mistake of exploding once again, so he made an effort to swallow his wrath and face her, "Izzobel…"

"He said…some stuff…I…" Izzie's beautiful violet eyes suddenly filled with tears of fear and…regret? "I…Kanda, I don't know why he is doing this! I-"

_Baby I'm addicted  
>And trying ,trying ,trying<br>Baby I'm addicted  
>Don't want to lose it all<br>Baby I'm all lair but all I really know  
>Is you're the only reason I'm trying<em>

_Baby I'm addicted_

An icy feeling installed in the pit of his stomach, "He wrote it for you." He deadpanned.

"No!" Izzie exclaimed, "he just…he…said…that…" she frowned and stared at him with her puffy eyes. A lonely tear ran down her left cheek, "he…mentioned…that it was for…a…songwriter…half-Spanish, half-American and that…that she was…"

Kanda had heard enough. The sight of Izzie weeping for something that another man did finally broke down his wall of composure. He didn't want any explanations, because he caught the gist of the situation: Tykki had offended Izzie by the open confession.

Noah's Ark said their farewells and walked to the backstage.

As soon as Kanda saw Tykki's profile, without waiting for him to be out of spotlights, he approached the singer and punched him in the face.

Tykki stumbled back and rubbed his jaw, "What the fuck?" he spat.

"Don't make her cry." Kanda commanded in a husky voice.

"Make her cry?" Tykki asked, bewildered. He blinked owlishly and his eyes searched for Izzie, "Did I make her cry?" a smug smirk curved his lips, "Did she like the song that much? I gotta say, I didn't write it specifically for her, but I think it matches with my feelings."

"Your feelings?" The Japanese snarled.

Tykki's smile widened, "See, Kanda, this is the situation." he gave the public a sideways glance and walked past Kanda to a darker corner, "I kind of…_like_ your girlfriend."

"What are you doing?!" Izzie yelled in a wretched voice.

Upon hearing her anguished tone, Kanda lost it. He launched on Tykki once again, but, this time, the Portuguese dodged. The bassist rapidly pivoted and threw a blow to Tykki's ribs. The singer bent over and, at the same time, ambushed Kanda until the both were sprawled on the floor. Tykki saddled on the Japanese and started to hit his face, but Kanda swiftly kneed his hip and inverted the position.

He didn't hear Izzie's exclamations, or the 'awed' sound that the viewers uttered. Everything that Kanda could focus on was a primitive instinct of action-reaction. Hit here, duck, hit again…

Soon, a pair of arms pulled him back and a male's voice yelled into his ear. His blood was boiling through his veins and his heart beat frenetically. He wanted to rip out Tykki's throat, and he may have, if another person hadn't pushed him away, blocking his view of the singer.

Kanda spat out blood and glared at the man in front of him. Allen's face materialized as he tried to keep Kanda in position.

"Move, brat!" he roared. The person behind him held his arms more tightly.

"Calm down, Kanda." Lavi sternly commanded from Kanda's back.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tykki Mikk shouted indignantly, "Can't you handle a little bit of competence?"

Kanda clenched his teeth, "How dare you…"

"It's not worth it, Kanda." Allen hissed.

Another face popped out behind the Brit's shoulder. Izzie nudged Allen aside gently and cupped Kanda's face to scrutinize it.

"We'll have to clean that." she said, wiping away a drop of blood from his broken lip, "Are you okay?" her eyes were still red and teary, yet, she maintained a composed expression.

Kanda only grunted. In some way, although he knew it was unfair, he was also mad at her.

Izzie's eyebrows furrowed, "is that a yes?"

"Yes, woman." He sneered and jerked his arms back. Now that his head was settled, he only glared at Tykki Mikk, who was being attended by his own kind.

Izzie sighed. Her eyes were cryptic, and she looked confused and disoriented, like she had no idea of what to do. Lenalee was the one to step forward with a paramedic and a towel. Her serious countenance gave away the singer's disapproval, however, she said nothing.

"This was stupid, Kanda." Komui scolded when he reached the group, "This was stupid, and reckless and idiotic. Do you know that there are cameras everywhere? The press is going to talk of this forever!" This was one of the few times in which Komui put on his strict face and nagged a member for a stupidity. Since it was quite uncommon to see other expression in his countenance that wasn't kindness or patience, the only times when he frowned were labeled as critical.

Kanda refused to apologize, so he averted his cold gaze.

Komui sighed and passed a hand through his hair, "I heard what happened, and maybe you're right in reacting this way, but this wasn't the right place to do it." Still, no response, "However, what is done, is done. Angel," he turned around and beckoned the singer, "Please, play a couple of songs while they fix Kanda's look."

Angel nodded and silently picked his guitar and summoned Matt. Before she left the backstage, however, she exchanged a meaningful look with Izzie, to which the songwriter shivered and lowered her gaze.

* * *

><p>Since their participation was already over, Matt proceeded to accommodate his equipment and put everything in its place to be sent back to the hotel. The blast of guitars, drums and basses made his skull tremble as Innocence played their songs on the stage. As he bent over to fold the keyboard's stand, a shadow waltzed around him and sat on a loudspeaker.<p>

"Hey, there." A familiar female voice saluted.

Matt looked up and half-heartedly smiled at Lulubell, "Hey…uhmm…Lulubell, right?"

The woman grinned charmingly and nodded, "I want to apologize for what happened. My stupid brother doesn't seem able to act his age." She said, referring to Kanda's and Tykki's incident of before. Matt didn't get what happened at all, but he knew that it was something related to Tykki Mikk flirting with Izzie.

Since it wasn't his problem, Matt only shrugged and replied, "Don't worry. I guess it's something between them."

"Still," Lulubell insisted, subtly leaning closer to Matt, "he's my brother, and I feel obliged to offer an apology on his behalf. You know, that's what family does."

Matt let out a sad smile and casted his eyes downwards. Indeed, that was what normal families did, although he never really experienced what it was like to have a brother watching your back. His relationship with Kurt, his only brother, had never been good. The rivalry, unyielding competence, envy and difference of opinions destroyed any trace of fraternal support that they could give each other. There was love, doubtlessly, but it was the type of love that would make Matt go to Kurt's side only in a terribly catastrophic situation, and not as something in a daily basis.

Therefore, watching Lulubell sticking up to Tykki's side made him feel quite ashamed, "Yeah, that's what family does." He reluctantly agreed.

"Do you have brothers?" the woman questioned, tilting her head to one side.

"One." Matt closed his case and sat on it, "His name is Kurt. He's older."

"He must be very lucky to have such an agreeable brother." The woman softly complimented. Her tone made Matt blush involuntarily and he had to clear his throat to speak.

"Not really. We…don't get along." He shyly confessed. He sent Lulubell a sideways glance, and felt his breath elapse when her golden eyes fixated on him.

"That's sad." She slid to the case and moved closer to Matt ,"May I ask why? You are a nice person." Matt suddenly felt her grab one of his hands and hold it between her slim, elegant fingers.

He stared at the rings in her hand, admiring their beauty, and forgot how to speak for a moment, "We're just…too different, I guess." He babbled sheepishly.

"Mm-hmm." She hummed in agreement and, slowly, put his hand on her lap and stroke the back of it, "But, well, family is family nonetheless, and you should always try to be by their side. Like Leo Tolstoy said: if one loves anyone, one loves the whole person, just as they are and not as one would like them to be."

"That's beautiful." Matt confessed, surprised by the sensitivity that came out of a woman he believed cold.

"And true." Lulubell smiled, "He is an amazing writer, you should read some of his books."

Matt felt even more embarrassed. He was not the kind of person that enjoyed literature, so he just responded, "Yeah, maybe."

As if guessing his nature, Lulubell commented, "Of course, you probably prefer The Rolling Stones over Jane Austen." She winked, "My brothers are just the same."

Discovered, Matt only smiled bashfully, "Uhm…sorry?"

"Don't apologize, honey." She soothingly said, "You know, you're quite nice. What about going out for a beer?"

"I don't drink."

"Well, then just a coffee. C'mon." Lulubell stood up and gestured at him to do the same.

Matt looked around in search of Angel. The girl was standing by the stage, watching the show in complete silence. _Well, she is not watching the show; she's just staring at one person._ Matt sadly thought. Since Angel was already helplessly infatuated with someone else, why shouldn't he go out with a beautiful, amiable woman like Lulubell? He was not attached to Angel in any other way that wasn't friendship, and that left him free to go out with whoever he wanted to. Besides, if he didn't give other women a chance, how was he supposed to get over his crush?

Determined to do this, he asked Lulubell to wait and approached Angel, "Hey."

The young singer, still wearing her wig and makeup, turned around and smiled at him, "Hey, Matt."

"I'll go out." He informed after recovering his breath. With a thumb, he pointed in Lulubell's direction.

Angel frowned, "I don't think she is-"

"She seems nice." Matt interjected her, hoping that he didn't sound rude. He was not going to let anyone talk him out of this. Seriously, Matt needed to give another woman a chance. That was the best for his heart and his sanity, because watching Angel get hurt at the same time he loved her was driving him mad.

"She is a Noah."

Matt rolled his eyes but smiled, "She hasn't done anything to me, and it is just a coffee. I'll be right back."

Angel scowled in a way Matt had never seen in her. She practically glared at Lulubell warily, and shuffled her feet, apparently undecided about something. It was clear that she wasn't fond of the idea of Matt going out with the musician.

Sending one last glance to Lavi, Angel turned around and dedicated Matt a strange look, "I'll go with you."

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for taking so long to update! A lot of things happened and I went through a writer's block, but here's the chapter :) Things are going downhill from this point on, this time I mean it!

I hope you have splendid vacations and enjoy your summer :)

Reviews?

Songs:

Holding on to nothing- Lovers and Liars, a suggestion made by Maqtyax.

Addicted- Enrique Iglesias.


	19. Jealousy

_Attached Strings_

_I think... if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.- Leo Tolstoy_

* * *

><p>Izzie crossed her arms and gave Tykki a withering look. She was still mad at him for his reckless behavior, and the fact that he acted indifferently about it only vexed her more.<p>

They were in a rather empty coffee house near the auditorium. Izzie sat across Tykki on a cushioned bench. The perplexed waitress placed on the table two cups of coffee and walked away afterwards.

"That wasn't funny." Izzie spat, "Why did you do that?"

Tykki shrugged, "I wanted to tell you how I feel."

"How you feel?" Izzie hissed harshly, "That was a love song. What you feel for me is nothing but possessiveness and caprice."

Tykki didn't reply to that. He sipped his coffee nonchalantly instead.

"Don't ever do that." Izzie commanded between clenched teeth, "You saw the consequences."

"As if a Japanese pretty boy could hurt me." He smugly replied. Nonetheless, the black eye and parted lip said otherwise.

Izzie scoffed Kanda-like and rolled her eyes, "You shouldn't be drinking coffee with that parted lip." She commented after a while.

Tykki shrugged, "As hard as it is to believe, _Isabel_, this is not the first time my lip is broken."

"Oh, it isn't hard to believe." A playful smirk threatened to curve her lips, but she contained herself. She wasn't supposed to enjoy these 'dates'; she was supposed to find them obnoxious and distasteful.

A smile spread across Tykki's face, "Already doubting my kind nature?"

"Do you even have one?" Izzie snapped back.

The Portuguese laughed well-naturedly, "You'd be surprised, my dear. Didn't I take you to the altar? You should admit that was rather nice, wasn't it?"

Izzie stiffened and reluctantly muttered, "Yeah, but there must be some trick hidden."

Tykki's eyebrows raised and he amusedly exclaimed, "No trick, sweetheart, just my best intentions at hand."

For some reason, that was really hard to believe and she expressed her skepticism with a snort, "Yeah, sure."

"I'm being serious, Izzie," Tykki reclined on his chair and grinned smugly, "When would Kanda do something as nice like that?"

Izzie was about to retort a defense, but the words choked in her throat, and she suddenly realized that there was nothing to say but something negative to Tykki's imply.

When would Kanda have done something like that for her? Except for the times in which he defended her, he never showed especial interest in her life. True it was that when she cried he got all awkward, and also that he respected her decision to postpone any sexual intercourse, but, aside from those situations in which she pushed the reality, he never asked something remotely close to 'how was your day?' or 'how are you feeling?'. Even after knowing that she had a rough day, he'd still fulfill the silence with kisses and caresses, instead of sitting down to talk about it.

_You're being ridiculous._ She mentally kicked herself, _he already explained to you that he's not good with words. He probably doesn't know how to act around emotional situations. That's all._ However, this explanation didn't help her relieve the uneasiness that the previous thoughts carried her.

"I guess I have points in my favor." Tykki chuckled when she didn't reply.

The sound of his laugh irritated Izzie. She glared at him and spat, "Since when did this turn into a competition?"

"Since the moment you agreed to sneak around to be with me."

"I-" Izzie was about to retort when the bell atop the principal door jingled. She sent a sideways glance to the entrance and felt her blood freeze. As a matter of reflex, she slid underneath the table and hit her forehead with the edge of the same, "Oww!" However, it was too late: Angel and Matt had already seen her.

Surprisingly enough, Tykki didn't say anything to her. From her not-so-inconspicuous refugee, Izzie saw Matt and Angel glance at them with curios expressions.

Izzie feigned a smile when she realized it was fruitless to pretend she was not there.

Angel, Matt and Lulubell approached them.

"Mind if we join you?" Lulubell proposed friskily.

Izzie crept back on her seat bashfully and avoided Angel's gaze.

"We were just about to leave." Tykki explained and stood up, "Let's go, Izzie."

Thanking him in silence, Izzie hastily nodded in acknowledgment and fled the scene swiftly. She knew Angel was going to demand an explanation, and she had the right to receive it, even if they weren't friends anymore. If Izzie kept her mouth shut, Angel was probably going to babble something nonsensically and the rumor would reach Kanda. It was better if, for the moment, he remained oblivious to the dead-end road she was in.

Izzie let Tykki pay the bill and then hurried back to the auditorium.

* * *

><p>Lulubell was eerily kind during their coffee. The conversation flowed naturally and she didn't say anything harsh or depictive. She even asked Angel about her progress as Nana and her projects for the future. She said very little about it, reluctant to share any information with the woman.<p>

However, Matt was not that reserved. He talked freely about his family when he was asked, described his childhood and shared his plans for the future. Several times, Angel nudged him discreetly to make him stop, but he just smiled at her and continued his ramble.

A dreadful sensation installed in Angel's stomach. Even when nothing in Lulubell's behavior betrayed her ill-intentions, Angel couldn't stop being paranoid. She was a Noah. She probably was involved in Izzie's kidnap…

Talking about that…what was Izzie doing with Tykki? Why were they having a cup of coffee so breezily? Did Kanda know? No, of course he didn't, because if he knew… was Izzie discussing with Tykki about what happened? That wasn't likely either. She wouldn't do something so reckless, at least not the Izzobel Fletcher Angel knew. This new girl with the modern haircut…Angel felt like she barely knew her anymore.

After the coffee, Angel refused to return to the auditorium. Watching Matt getting along so well with Lulubell had affected her. Something felt amiss, strange…and a sudden wave of fear hit Angel. What if Lulubell and Matt started dating? What if Matt went out with someone, not precisely Lulubell, and dedicated her his whole time and attention?

As they paid their farewells to Lulubell, these questions assaulted Angel's mind, along with a stab of panic. She was suddenly afraid that Matt may leave her side, just like everyone else had. Matt was all she had; her unconditional friend, her ever-faithful company. Up to that moment, she never considered the possibility of him being snatched from her side by some random woman. However, now, thanks to Lulubell, the possibility was bright and undeniable.

"Are you sure you don't want to go back?" Matt asked in a concerned voice.

Angel swallowed and tried to regain her composure. She looked up at his dark, gentle eyes and gulped, "I-we…I want to…you know…amm…walk a while. You go in if you want to." _Don't go, please, don't leave me._

As if reading her mind, Matt smiled shyly and put a hand on her shoulder, "Nah, I rather hang out with you. Is that alright?"

"Yes." Angel hastily replied. Her grin widened and she slid a hand around Matt's waist, "Let's see a little bit of Barcelona. We haven't enjoyed any city at all."

* * *

><p>They weren't there. Why weren't they there? They were supposed to be a team, weren't they? Even if they were the openers, they had a contract with Innocence and had the obligation to be at every event, didn't they?<p>

Yet, they weren't there. He hadn't seen them since they started the concert officially. Where was she? Was she so foolish that she wandered alone in an unknown city?

"Yes, thank you." He absentmindedly replied to a compliment on their concert, or was it on their album?

He glanced at his wrist-watch. 2 a.m. Where was she?

Allen said something, "No, thanks." Was that the right answer? What did he ask?

Lavi downed what was left of his beer and approached the mini-fridge to get another drink.

"There are no Skyys." He frowned, evidently in a bad mood.

"Man, you just rejected the last one." Allen informed him as he drank from the blue bottle, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes," Lavi hastily hissed and grabbed a XX.

They were holding a small party in their suite. Only few fans with VIP passes were allowed into the hotel room. Lavi would've liked to make something bigger, but they were reserving the big celebration for a French club. He wondered why they couldn't just go clubbing every night in every city. Why reserve a special night whatsoever?

Anyway, his wasn't the only opinion that mattered, and they all had agreed to hold the big party in Paris. It was the best for Lavi, after all. Paris was known for its beaus.

He wandered around the small lobby, beer in hand, and tried to ignore the useless racket of the fangirls. In any other situation, he'd be dancing with them, even flirting, but he was wor-

No. He couldn't be worried. Not for her, at least.

2:15 a.m.

Fuck.

Without thinking, he grabbed his jacket and walked to the door, determined to find the stupid girl. When he reached the frame, however, the door swung open and in walked Matt and Angel, giggling.

Angel brusquely stopped upon seeing Lavi. She dedicated him a wry smile and followed Matt into the suite.

Lavi closed the door and leaned on the wall. He drank the last of his beer and straightened. His heart was racing.

At least she was back, safe and sound.

And with _him_. Why was she so contented with herself? Lavi followed them with his eyes. Angel looked comfortable and…well…happy. They helped themselves with some snacks from the economic kitchen and walked to the balcony, laughing all the way through. They even signed some autographs and joked with the fans.

Why was she so happy around him?

A deep sensation of loss suddenly clutched his heart, and fear crept up his throat.

* * *

><p>"Did you see the man with the mask?" Angel asked Matt excitedly, a glass of orange juice on her hand, "He was freakishly creepy!"<p>

"I know!" Matt laughed and leaned on the rail of the balcony, "I almost peed on myself when he looked my way." He chewed a French fry and swallowed before continuing, "Did you know that those masks were used by doctors during the Bubonic Plague?"

Angel raised her eyebrows, intrigued. She loved when Matt cracked some of his curios facts. He was like one of those magazine sections with interesting notes, "Really?"

Matt nodded, enthusiastic, "That's why the nose is so long, so they didn't smell anything directly."

"Wow." Angel smiled and finished her orange juice, "I didn't know that. Where do yo-"

"More juice?" A deep, unmistakable voice offered. A shiver ran down Angel's spine and she turned to look at him parsimoniously.

Lavi had a bottle of fresh orange juice in his hand. He wryly smiled at her, not looking directly in her eyes, "I noticed you ran out of juice. Want some? Before the Moyashi drinks it with bottle included." He teased, like he would have done with anyone else.

But this wasn't just 'anyone else'.

Visibly perplexed, Angel extended her glass hesitantly and watched Lavi refill it.

Not once did he direct anything more than a sideways glance to Matt. After he served the beverage, he flashed Angel's scalp another smile, spun on his heels and returned to the party being held indoors.

Angel and Matt looked at each other, confusion written all over their faces.

"That was weird…" Matt stated cautiously.

A hesitant smile crept to Angel's lips, "Maybe my plan is working, maybe-" She felt her breath falter. Her heart pounded fiercely out of pure excitement. What was that? Was Lavi actually nice to her? He wasn't as cheerful as before, but this certainly was a huge step towards reconciliation.

Angel thought it had been ages since she last felt this hopeful.

Matt only looked at her with preoccupation printed all over his face.

* * *

><p>Angel freshened up and sat cross legged on her bed, expectant. Izzie entered the bathroom of their room, eyeing Angel warily. The singer feigned obliviousness by turning on the television and zapping channels absentmindedly. Lenalee and Nina were still at the party. Kanda and Izzie retired early to their own rooms, so Angel decided to follow her ex-best friend and talk about that evening's happenings.<p>

The door of the bathroom swung open and Izzie walked out, dressed in pajamas and with an extra hoodie on. The heating was delaying in warming up the atmosphere, and Angel also felt the chilly weather get underneath her clothes.

Izzie ruffled her damp hair with a towel and glanced at the television.

Abruptly, Angel turned off the device and turned to Izzie.

"Are you going to tell me?" she went straight to the grain. There was no point in pretending she didn't see anything.

Izzie stared at her with her unreadable, violet eyes. Angel wondered if she may have gone too far. She waited for a harsh response, already kind of used to it, but received instead a tired sigh.

"Please, don't tell Kanda."

Angel had a bad feeling about this. She beckoned Izzie with a movement of her head and made space for her on the bed.

"Then, explain it to me."

Izzie stiffened, "I don't want to."

Angel narrowed her eyes. There was something in Izzie's reluctance and defensive demeanor that made her aware of something even more amiss. She started to worry seriously about her friend.

"Then, I'll tell Kanda." Angel deadpanned, trying to sound determined and confident, even when, deep inside, she was a wreck, afraid she might scare Izzie away.

For a moment, judging by the venomous glare Izzie darted her, Angel believed her friend was going to hit her. She shrank inside and endeavored to keep a straight face.

"You wouldn't dare…" Izzie hissed menacingly.

Angel frowned, "It's Tykki Mikk, Izzie." She exclaimed, "He hijacked you, or don't you remember?"

"He has changed." Izzie suddenly snapped. However, a second after, she stepped back as if a bee had stung her and gaped, "Well, he seems to, he-"

Angel frowned. What was this ramble? She observed Izzie levelly, analyzing her countenance. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she pursed her lips. It seemed as if she was debating with herself silently and was confused by her own arguments.

"He is a Noah." Angel used the same excuse he had exposed to Matt, "It doesn't matter how nice he seems, Izzie, he is still the guy that kidnapped you and that, before that, attacked Innocence."

Izzie's breathing began to speed up. She glanced at Angel, this time, with fear written all over her face. Her eyes suddenly became glossy and, after a moment of hesitation, she sat on the bed in front of Angel and mumbled, "He threatened me."

Angel raised an eyebrow, "Tonight?"

"No." Izzie looked at her friend's lap and her voice quivered, "In Madrid."

Angel scowled. She remembered Izzie disappearing from a sound test during an hour or so…and Kanda ranted about something related to 'a stupid moron' the night of her birthday.

A dreadful possibility slapped Angel across the face. She opened and closed her mouth in disbelief and somberly asked, "You've been seeing him since then? Does Kanda know something?"

"No, he doesn't." Izzie hurried to say, "And he must know nothing. This is between Tykki and me."

"Between Tykki and you!" Angel repeated, horrified, "Izzie, do you realize that he may be dragging you to a trap?"

Izzie's way of shrugging nonchalantly only unnerved her more. If it hadn't been for the tears in her eyes, Angel would have believed she just didn't care.

She wanted to yell at her, ask what the hell was wrong in her head, but Angel didn't dare make any sudden moves. _Baby steps._

Angel sighed and ruffled her hair the way she did when she was nervous, a habit acquired from Lavi a long time ago. Her heart ached for a second, but she suppressed it. This wasn't the moment of getting all sentimental. _Is there ever a moment, though? _The question crossed her mind in a flash. Angel dismissed it swiftly and focused on Izzie.

Angel inhaled deeply, "You said he threatened you…"

"Not me." Izzie cleared out, "I mean…he…he said that he'd hurt Kanda if I didn't agree to do it."

"Do what?" Angel's heart started to sink, worried sickly for her sweet friend.

Izzie lifted her head and gazed at Angel bashfully, "Go out with him."

Angel was taken aback. She blinked owlishly as her brain processed the information, "Like, dates?"

The songwriter swallowed audibly and nodded.

Angel couldn't stop the exclamation from dropping off her mouth, "You're technically cheating on Kanda…with Tykki?"

Izzie's eyes widened. She seemed to have never considered her actions worth the label of 'cheating'. Her mouth opened, then she swallowed, fretted and babbled, "I…don't…I…I'm not cheating on Kanda. It's not like I want to do this."

"Why didn't you tell him?" Angel suddenly asked. Her stomach got a lot heavier and she felt like throwing up. The activities of the day started to weight heavy on her shoulders.

This time, it was Izzie the one who looked at Angel like she was out of her mind, "Angel, you saw how he reacted after the song. Can you…can you just fathom what he might do if he found out?"

"And he has the right to react that way!"

"No, he-" their conversation was interrupted by a knock on their door. The two girls stared at each other, wondering, fearing, that someone may have overheard their heated conversation.

The trembling, sing-sang voice of Lenalee resounded from the other side of the door, "Girls, you in there? We lost the keys." There was a dry thump and a giggle.

Izzie stood up and gave Angel a warning, sideways glance, "Tykki will kill Kanda if he does something. Just keep the secret, please." She pleaded.

Angel twisted her mouth, unconvinced.

Izzie held her gaze gingerly. She raised her eyebrows, "Please?"

Someone knocked on the door more energetically, and Nina yelled, completely drunk, "Giiiirlssss~ I'm so wasted, hahaha."

Angel made a vague movement of her hand and surrendered, "Alright, I'll keep the secret. Just…just be careful, okay?"

Izzie smiled faintly, "Always."

* * *

><p>AN: it's midnight and I'm worn out, but here it is! I hope you all enjoyed this. No song, I know, please don't hit me!

I've heard that the review button is not functioning. At least it didn't work in Celebrity Status (Camera Flash). Too bad :( Anyway, if you can, leave a review! And, if you don't, well..you can pm me or just enjoy!

I hope you have a nice day :D

With love

Mary.


	20. CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

**Christmas Special!**

She handed to the receptionist a clipboard with the medical history of patient 202.

"Tell Mark to keep an eye on him. I'm leaving for tonight." She informed to the young woman.

The receptionist nodded and filed the document.

"Dr. Fletcher, you're heading home already?" Dr. Rodríguez, Izzie's teacher and the best cardiologist in the state, asked her politely.

Izzie smiled, "Yes, they're waiting for me."

"Merry Christmas, then."

"Merry Christmas."

Before leaving the hospital, Izzie stepped by the lab. Her heart pounded fiercely against her ribs upon wondering what the results were going to be.

She didn't have to give her name to the secretary. The woman grinned enthusiastically and handed Izzie an envelope, "Congratulations, doctor."

Izzie frowned and accepted the envelope, "Merry Christmas, Diane."

"Merry Christmas."

As she headed to the parking lot, Izzie replied to several greetings politely. This was probably her last Christmas as a resident. Next year, she hoped she finally obtained her title as a surgeon.

With her breathing speeding up, Izzie slid into her black Bentley and ripped open the envelope. She got out two sheets of paper and read her blood test results.

The air escaped her lungs and her hands trembled. She somehow expected this, but ignored it as something plausible…until now.

"Oh my God."

* * *

><p>Saying that Angel was excited wasn't good enough. She was ecstatic, full of energy and endless happiness.<p>

As she hopped around the kitchen, she thought about how wonderful that night was going to be. This was their first Christmas at her house. Lavi's and hers. Even though the marriage was scheduled for next year, Angel and Lavi decided to invite everyone to spend Christmas Eve here for the first time. The place was practically empty. Angel had Lavi running errands since seven a.m. and he hadn't stopped since. He never complained, though, and wore the same enthusiastic smile Angel had.

"More salt." Allen, the food expert, exclaimed. He was moving the spaghetti with a wooden ladle.

"You think so?" Angel questioned, looking over the Brit's shoulder.

"Yep." Allen assured. He placed a strand of spaghetti in her hand and let Angel taste it. She nodded and gave him the salt shaker.

As Angel extended her hand to get something from the top shelves, Allen glimpsed her engagement ring inconspicuously. He sighed and thought about the velvet box wrapped he had left in the place where the Christmas tree was supposed to be. He wished he could afford a diamond like Angel's. Hers was a big rock, almost the size of a pea. On the other hand, the best he could get was a mustard seed sized diamond, and Lenalee deserved much more than that. He knew it wasn't his fault, though. After all, he didn't have Bookman's inherited fortune or Kanda's company shares. Compared to them, Allen was just an orphan boy who was adopted by a womanizer spendthrift. Yes, he won a lot of money as Innocence's keyboardist, but still…Lenalee deserved more. At least, he was planning this to be a perfect night, starting by helping Angel with the food. That was the minimum he could offer.

* * *

><p>Lenalee parked her Smart out of Lavi and Angel's brand new house. It was a lovely two-story cottage in the outskirts of town. Their property was large, as far as Lenalee knew, yet, the couple preferred having a rather medium-size house surrounded by trees, grass and nature. She never expected any less from them.<p>

She hung her purse on one shoulder and balanced the apple pie and a Tupperware with cookies on her hands. The sun was already setting in the horizon.

Komui got out of the passenger's seat, carrying a variety of gifts. This year, Lenalee was proud of her gifts. She spent three weeks subtly investigating each one's needs, and bought what she thought more appropriate. She even created an account on e-Bay to buy Allen the rare keytar he had been looking for since forever.

The siblings were received by a very hyperactive Lavi.

"Don't tell me. He found the chocolates." She commented as she walked towards the kitchen.

"No, he bought some." Angel replied. She turned around and smiled at Lenalee, "You brought dessert. You can put it on the-"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lavi hurried into the kitchen and accidentally pushed Lenalee. The girl stumbled forward and the tip of her foot got trapped between two loose tiles. Before anyone could do anything, she fell onto the pie and the cookies scattered on the floor.

"Oh my God, Lenalee, are you okay?" Allen swiftly approached her and grabbed her arm.

"MY SWEET LENALEE!" She heard Komui yell from the entrance.

Lenalee slowly sat and analyzed herself, "I'm fine, I'm fine." Nonetheless, upon watching the pie ruined and the cookies scattered, a stab of sadness pinched her heart. She had spent all day making that…and now…

"Does it hurt?" Allen gently asked.

"Move, lad," Komui roughly hissed, "I know what's better for my…"

"I'm sorry." Lenalee sniffed. Her vision blurred and a sob escaped her mouth, "I'm sorry, dessert…Allen," she turn to look at him. She did her best so Allen could enjoy a great dessert…, "I'm sorry."

"It's my fault." Lavi apologized. He crouched down and started collecting the cookies, "It's my fault, Lena-lady, I…"

Lenalee only shook her head and stood up. She discreetly dried her tears and sniffed.

"Come, I'll give you something to clean yourself with." Angel beckoned her.

Lenalee didn't understand what Angel talked about until she looked down at herself. Her dress, the one she had spent so much money in, was full of jam, frost and pieces of apple. A lump appeared in her throat and she followed Angel before tears streamed down her face.

* * *

><p>"YOU HURT MY SISTER!"<p>

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"YOU, IDIOT, COME HERE!"

"OI, CALM DOWN!"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

Izzie turned to look at Kanda, perplexed.

Kanda shrugged nonchalantly and walked towards the cottage. He was dressed in a nice suit that Izzie had obliged him to wear to church and to dinner. As a Catholic and Hispanic, Christmas had a special meaning to her.

Izzie followed him in silence. She hadn't talked much since she arrived home. Her stomach was such a mess that she wondered if she'd be able to digest anything without throwing up. She tried to think of a way to tell Kanda about…her condition. How was he going to take it? What would he say?

The door swung open and a desperate Angel showed up. She smiled nervously at the newcomers and then turned around to the pandemonium inside.

"What's going on?" Izzie asked, looking around. Komui had a knife on his hand and menaced Lavi from one side of the table. The singer, on the other hand, tried to find a way around the table where his neck would remain untouched.

"Lavi accidentally pushed Lenalee." Angel answered. Neither Izzie nor Kanda needed more explanations. They left their coats in a closet and Izzie accompanied Angel to the kitchen.

"So, no Christmas tree this year?" Izzie commented as she collected the plates. Before heading to the kitchen, she had noticed that the presents were piled up against a corner.

Angel sighed, "Lavi was supposed to go for it thirty minutes ago…but Komui-"

Izzie sighed, "I get it. Where's Lenalee?"

"In the bathroom, trying to clean herself up."

Izzie only nodded and went to set up the table. "Alright, move, plates are coming." She announced as she made her way through the room.

Before she could do anything, Lavi pushed the table and sent Komui stumbling backwards.

The racket of plates breaking resounded across the house. Izzie fell on her butt and hyperventilated. Pieces of porcelain cut the palms of her hands, but she didn't seem to notice them. Her attention immediately drifted to her belly.

"I shouldn't have fell." Izzie panicked. Her hands rubbed her belly, "I-I-what if…"

Kanda gently grabbed her arm and helped her up. Tears clouded her eyes, but she successfully suppressed the overwhelming emotions. It was just the hormones.

Around her, different voices started to argue. Angel inquired after the plates, Lavi sped up past Komui, and Lenalee, covered with her coat, said something to her brother with tears in her eyes.

Suddenly, everyone was talking at the same time.

"ENOUGH!" Allen yelled, his voice resounding above the scandal, "ENOUGH! CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A FREAKINGLY NORMAL CHRISTMAS EVE?!"

Everybody turned around to look at him. His face was red and his breathing had accelerated. Izzie blinked, surprised. He had never seen him like this.

"WE HAVE NO CHRISTMAS TREE, WE HAVE NO PLATES AND WE HAVE NO DESSERT AND ALL YOU DO IS KEEP ARGUING! AND THE TURKEY…" his eyes widened and he turned to look at Angel.

Angel gasped, "THE TURKEY!" she hurried into the kitchen afterwards.

"Can't we just sit down and behave?" Allen finally requested. Izzie noticed his hands were trembling underneath the gloves. He put them inside his trousers' pockets discreetly.

Izzie gulped and stepped forward, "Allen is right. Christmas is not about this… let's just…clean up this mess, okay?"

* * *

><p>Allen was frustrated. More than frustrated. He just wanted this night to be perfect, and now…what did he have? Paper plates, Kentucky fried chicken and a Wal-Mart three dollar cactus with a star atop it. This wasn't the eve he had planned.<p>

He glanced at Lenalee shyly. She was pretty…no, gorgeous, as always. However, the pretty black dress she had was ruined, and Allen didn't want her to remember their engagement night as the one in which everything went wrong.

Maybe another day…on New Year, perhaps…

"I want to offer a toast," Lavi stood up and raised his crystal cup, "To our brotherhood, friendship and love," he turned to look at Angel sweetly, "To our engagement, and the ones to come," he dedicated a wink to Allen and Kanda. Allen tried not to blush, especially when Komui had his inquisitive glare on him, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!" Everyone chorused, and downed the red wine.

Allen watched Lenalee from the corner of his eye. Albeit having her pie destroyed and her outfit ruined, the Chinese seemed to be comfort and happy.

"Do you want a wing?" She kindly asked to Allen.

Allen nodded and smiled at her, "Merry Christmas, Lenalee," he murmured softly, hoping Komui didn't listen, "I-I'm sorry for what happened."

"Don't be." Lenalee sweetly said as she served him chicken, "It wasn't your fault."

"Still…I wanted this to be perfect." He replied thoughtlessly.

Lenalee directed him an intrigued gaze. As if realizing her mistake, Allen smiled apologetically, "You know…it's Christmas and that stuff."

The Chinese beamed and helped herself with smashed potatoes, "We're all together, that makes this perfect. All the other stuff is dispensable."

Allen only nodded and smirked. In some way, she was right. He looked around and observed everyone. Lavi and Angel were sitting together, Lavi at the head of the table, as the host and future husband he was. In some way, it was weird that he was the one to settle down first. Allen always thought Kanda and Izzie were going to be the first ones, but the years went by, and nothing ever happened.

Kanda and Izzie were sitting side by side, ominously quiet. Allen repaired on the fact that Izzie had a soda beside her untouched wine. This was unlike her classy behavior, yet, he commented nothing.

"So, I gotta say, I always dreamed about having a double wedding," Lavi commented out-loud for everyone, "But none of my fellow musicians seem to think the same." His green eye went from Allen to Kanda mischievously.

"My dear Lenalee is not ready." Komui cried, "She would never abandon her dear brother, right?"

Lenalee only smiled but said nothing.

"Right?"

"I guess what Allen needs is Komui locked in a wardrobe for one day or two," Angel playfully added, "Otherwise, we might as well start looking for a cruise to Mexico."

"Mm-hmm," Lavi agreed, "Or guts, that can always work. Just imagine," he clapped his hands together and looked to the ceiling, "Beautiful Lenalee, walking down the hall, besides Komui. Allen waits at the altar, elegantly dressed. He looks at her and thinks, 'oh, what a beautiful woman!', and she thinks, 'look, how handsome!'"

"You're really willing to marry this guy, Angel?", Allen wickedly asked, eager to get the subject off himself, "Because, you know, sometimes I think he might be gay."

Angel giggled and patted Lavi's hand affectionately, "I think I'll take the risk." She locked gazes with him for a moment, completely mesmerized. When she snapped back, she glanced at Izzie, "What I wonder is, what does it take to get Kanda and Izzie married?"

Kanda clicked his tongue and ignored them. Izzie refused to lift her gaze from the plate. Allen felt kind of sorry for her. It was obvious how much she desired to get married, even when she denied it to everyone.

"A baby, maybe?" Komui slyly commented.

Izzie's shoulders stiffened.

"Tsch, no kids." Kanda coldly exclaimed.

"Oi, why not?" Lavi interfered, "They are funny and adorable! Imagine how cute a baby Kanda might be!"

"They are troublesome and dirty." Kanda grunted, "And noisy."

Lenalee rolled her eyes, "You were troublesome, dirty and noisy too."

"And?"

"You will survive."

Kanda snarled, "I don't like kids."

"So, you're never gonna have kids? Mm? What does Izzie think?" Lavi directed an inquisitive gaze to Izzie. His countenance was cheerful, but his eyes were serious.

The girl gulped and doubtfully looked at Kanda. The bassist, unmoved, replied for her, "She's too busy to have children."

"So, what if she gets pregnant?"

"She won't."

"But, what if?"

"Adoption." Kanda icily said.

Izzie stood up and left her napkin on the table, "Excuse me." Before anyone could say anything, she left the room.

The tension in the atmosphere was thick. Lenalee was not smiling anymore, and that worried Allen. What if this wasn't the night, after all? Was it ever gonna be a night good enough for Lenalee?

* * *

><p>Angel knocked the door gently, "Izzie, are you in there?"<p>

"J-just a moment." She replied from the bathroom.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No, there- there's nothing to-"

"You didn't drink wine." Angel emphatically said, "And you like it."

"I didn't feel like."

"Iz, you know you can tell me anything."

The door swung open. Angel stepped back and watched her friend. Her eyes were injected in red and her lower lip trembled.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

><p>Now that he had decided that this wasn't the night, Allen had to find a way to retrieve the present from the stack. He waited until everyone had finished eating and planned to fetch it once they busied themselves cleaning up.<p>

He wished he could choke Lavi when he stood up and said, "Let's open the presents! I'm so excited!"

"But the table…" Angel unsurely commented.

"We can clean it later, love." Lavi inclined and pecked Angel on the cheek, "I GIVE OUT MINES FIRST!" said this, he ran to the pile beside the cactus and chose some wrapped boxes from the group.

In between the frenzy, Allen didn't find a moment to take his present away. Besides, since all his money was spent in the ring, he didn't get Lenalee anything else. It would be awful if she didn't get anything from him, and Komui would kill him mercilessly.

When his turn came, he gave out everyone else's presents first. He then looked at Lenalee's expectant gaze. She smiled encouragingly at him, confident that he had got her something nice.

Allen gulped and took her hand, "I-Look, I…" he stammered and glanced at the small box.

"Yes?"

"I…" a drop of sweat started to slide down his forehead. He wiped it and clutched Lenalee's hand, "Look…hmm…"

The smile on Lenalee's lips started to falter. The silence that installed in the house was suddenly oppressive. He had viewed the scene in his head so many times, and it was definitely nothing like this.

"I-" if he said he didn't get her a present, he would only make things worse. She would be hurt, and that was the least thing he wanted. But, also, he wanted this to be perfect, to remain as a stainless memory in her head. After all, this only happened once in a lifetime.

Would a perfect memory be worth hurting her now?

Allen audibly swallowed and remembered her words. _We're all together, that makes this perfect. All the other stuff is dispensable._

Taking a deep breath, Allen took the box and put it in Lenalee's hands. Her soft hands started to rip the paper.

"Wait." Allen commanded, breathless. "Not here."

Lenalee dedicated him a confused gaze. Without uttering another word, he took her hand and guided her to the door.

"Wait." He put on his blazer and gave her a scarf. Outside, the snow was already falling.

"We'll be back." He practically yelled and, said this, he guided Lenalee outside.

"Al, what's going on?" the Chinese asked, perplexed.

"Just wait." Allen scanned his surroundings, looking for a place nice enough to do this. Their surroundings were pitch-black. There were no other lights besides the ones inside the house, and the moon was hidden behind a set of clouds.

_Perfect. _Allen sardonically thought.

Without letting go of her hand, he walked towards a tree few yards away from the house. The light was barely enough for him to watch where he stepped. "Be careful."

"Al?"

He stood underneath the tree and watched her in silence. The light lit only one side of her face while the other was submerged in shadows. She was so beautiful…her kind, brown eyes fixated on him, waiting for an explanation.

With trembling hands, Allen took the box and unwrapped it.

"This is…this isn't remotely the way I planned it to be." He stammered, "I…I'm not a rich guy." He avoided her eyes by all means. He knew that, the moment he looked at her, all his determination would elapse, lost in the generosity of her soul.

"I can't buy…great stuff. I don't have an inheritance, or company shares. My guardian is a womanizer that didn't even want to come today because he had some sort of commitment with Anita and-"

"Al-"

"you deserve more, much more." Allen gulped and looked at her, "But you're my best friend, and my girlfriend, and I'm the same to you. I mean, but in male…like boyfriend."

Lenalee smirked caringly, "You mean much more, Allen, and you know it."

"I know, and I don't know why, I, just…ugh…amm…"

"Yes?" Lenalee softly encouraged him.

Slowly, Allen got down on one knee. The ground was cold and rough, but he didn't mind. He opened the box and looked up at her.

"Would you-would you marry me?"

The smile that crossed her face was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. Tears of joy started to fall down her cheeks. She knelt down in front of him and cupped his face between her hands, "Yes, Al. A thousand times yes."

Warmness spread across his body in spite of the low temperature.

"Y-yes?"

She nodded, "Yes." The laughter that escaped her lips was like music to his ears.

With shaky hands, now from the emotion, Allen took the ring out of the box and placed it on her slim finger.

"I'm sorry this wasn't-"

"Don't say it." Lenalee stared marveled at the small rock. She then flashed him another grin, "It's perfect to me."

* * *

><p>"DOUBLE WEDDING!"<p>

"Lavi…"

"DOUBLE WEDDING, DOUBLE WEDDING!"

A small hand covered Lavi's mouth before he could keep yelling incoherencies.

"Sorry, his bedtime has already passed and he gets kind of crazy." Angel motherly apologized, keeping a hand firmly pressed against the singer's lips.

Lenalee only smiled. She was sitting on one of the chairs with Komui's head resting on her lap. The man's tears were endless and his sobs had lost any sense.

"Dear…Lenalee…lose you….no…."

Allen was standing safely behind his brand new fiancée. The beam on his face was just a tiny demonstration of the exuberant happiness within himself.

She said yes.

She said yes and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Congratulations, guys." Izzie patted Allen's shoulder.

The Brit didn't miss the nostalgic tone in her voice. "Thanks, Iz."

* * *

><p>When finally Komui got a hold of himself, and after he threatened Allen, they ripped open all the other presents and paid themselves their farewells.<p>

Truthfully speaking, Angel didn't want them to leave. She offered them a room and blankets, but Allen had to talk to Cross and Lenalee had a very affected brother to take care of.

Izzie, for obvious reasons, wanted to go home and talk to Kanda.

Angel was worried for her friend. Of course they didn't plan this, but the baby was already on the way. She was slightly bothered by Kanda's cold ways, and upon mentioning it to her fiancée, he only shrugged and suggested, "Let them talk. Kanda was only talking hypothetically."

"I know." Angel stored in the refrigerator the leftovers, "But he shouldn't say those things if he hasn't talked to Izzie first."

Lavi sighed and embraced her in a hug. Angel surrounded his waist with her slim arms and rested her head against his chest, "I'm just worried." She said, "It's obvious that Izzie doesn't want to give the baby away."

"They will figure this out." Lavi murmured against the scalp of her head, "I can bet Kanda will say 'would you marry me?' before even calling an adoption center."

"Do you think he will make a good father?"

Lavi shrugged and gave one step back to look into her eyes, "I'll make a better one."

"Oi," Angel playfully hit his chest, "Humility is not your thing, huh?"

"Just telling the truth." He smiled warmly at her and caressed her cheek.

"One thing at a time, Bookman." She tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on the side of his mouth, "One thing at a time."

"Mm-hmm" Lavi kissed her softly on the lips, "So, are you telling me what's your dress like?" With his thumb he traced random circles on her left hip, while his other hand tangled loose strands of her hair.

"Nope."

"No?" he inclined again and kissed her softly, pressing his lips against hers and tasting the sweet flavor of her mouth. With his hand, he tickled the side of her ribs.

Angel twisted between his arms and giggled, "Nice try, but no." She then writhed free and stuck her tongue out at him before sprinting out of the kitchen, "Better luck next time, groom!"

* * *

><p>Izzie fidgeted nervously. Finally noticing her odd behavior, Kanda glanced at her from the corner of his eye.<p>

"What's wrong?" he asked as he pulled off into the garage.

"Nothing." She automatically said.

"Tsch, you've been weird all day." He pointed out as they walked towards the entrance.

Izzie walked behind him in silence. Her high heels were hurting her feet and she was cold. And nervous…and scared. No, terrified.

He let her walk in first and turned on the lights.

Once they were safe in the cozy interior of the house and they had left their coats hanging beside the door, Izzie took a deep breath and turned around to look at him.

"Did you mean it?"

Kanda frowned, "Mean what?"

"The…having a baby stuff."

The Japanese stared at her in silence. "It was hypothesis."

Izzie only returned him the penetrating gaze. In slow motion, she sat on the loveseat and pointed to the couch beside her.

"It's late, we can talk about this later."

"No." Izzie insisted. She clutched the hem of her dress tightly and took another deep breath, "Just sit."

Kanda shook his head in denial, but he must've seen something in Izzie's countenance that finally made him obey. He took his place at the leather couch and crossed his arms.

"What?" he bluntly questioned.

Izzie sighed. She looked around nervously, like a cornered deer, and then fixated her eyes on her feet. Her stomach twisted painfully and threatened with puking the dinner. She wondered how much of that sensation was nervousness and how much was just pregnancy sickness.

"I had…I…see…kids aren't that bad." She thoughtlessly muttered.

Kanda sighed exasperatedly, "Look, Iz, we don't have to talk about that, we-"

"Listen!" Izzie abruptly exclaimed. Kanda shut up, taken aback by her annoyed demeanor, "I…I don't know how to say this."

Kanda scowled, "Just say it."

"I had…a blood test." She started. Her eyes scanned the room until she localized the envelope. Without knowing how to do it otherwise, Izzie took the paper and gave it to Kanda.

The musician sent Izzie an interrogative look.

"Just read it." She commanded.

Kanda stared blankly at the sheet of paper and then at Izzie, "I don't get it."

"Look better….it's there!"

"I'm no doctor, Izzie, I don't get it." Kanda angrily snapped, his temper already shortening.

"hCG elevated, nausea, sickness…"

"Are you sick?"

Izzie growled and messed her hair desperately, "No, Kanda, I'm having a baby!"

A dreadful silence filled the room. Izzie worried she might have been too harsh. Her eyes fixated upon Kanda's still figure. He said nothing, his eyes set on the piece of paper he had between his hands.

"You sure?" he tremulously asked after a minute.

"Yes."

Another moment of silence. Izzie's heart felt like jumping out of her chest. She tried to control her respiration taking deep breaths.

He placed his elbows on his knees and seemed to reflect deeply. His silence unnerved Izzie. She feared his answer, his solution. Even though a baby was going to jeopardize her career, she was not willing to give up on him, or her. It was her baby, after all. _Their_ baby. Was Kanda so cold-hearted to think otherwise? How could he ever consider the possibility of giving their baby away? How?

"What are you thinking?" she asked after what seemed an eternity in silence.

Kanda let out a long exhalation and straightened his back, "He's going to a private school."

Izzie frowned, "What?"

Kanda locked gazes with her, "He's going to a private school," he slowly repeated, "where he practices kendo."

Izzie's heart almost missed a skip. Her lips curved involuntarily and her eyes filled with tears. Hormones. "What if it's a girl?"

"So what?" Kanda shrugged and stood up, "That way she can beat up perverts."

"So," Izzie's breathe sped up, "you're okay with this?"

Kanda offered her his hand and shrugged, "It had to happen sooner or later."

Izzie was still doubtful. This was too wonderful to be real, "But, what you said…"

"Bullshit." He cleared, "Let's go to bed, you need to rest."

Izzie grinned and jumped into his arms. His perfume filled her nostrils and she couldn't resist the urge to kiss him. He returned the gesture delicately, pressing her against his chest with more gentleness than usual, as if fearing he could break her.

"Merry Christmas." She whispered against his lips.

"Mm-hmm." he kissed her again and guided her upstairs.

* * *

><p>AN: HELLO! I'm back! And I wish I had come with the continuation, but it's Christmas and I've had this idea circling inside my head since...forever. Sorry, guys! I promise a new chapter before I go back to school, as well as answering each one of your PMs.

Just in case you are wondering, this isn't a view of the future or something like that. This is just a 'what if' situation, like an alternate story. Sorry guys, no spoilers ;D

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you the best for this New Year.

Mary :D

pd. sorry for any mistakes, my English is rusted.


	21. Heartbreak

_Attached Strings~_

_Don't want to make it up_

_Don't want to let you down_

_I want to fly away_

_But I'm stuck on the ground- Save you by Matthew Perryman Jones_

The next morning, Lavi acted even weirder. He commanded the tables to be put together so the whole staff could have breakfast. When Angel sat down at a random seat, right next to Matt, Lavi shooed Allen so he could sit right across the duo.

Angel observed Matt narrow his gaze. Lavi, on the other hand, pretended not to notice the distrustful glance and grinned widely at Angel.

"How was your night?" he questioned politely, helping himself with some apple juice.

Angel's heart skipped a beat pleasantly. A smile threatened to cross her face, but she contained herself, trying not to act too eager. She caught sight of Matt's warning sideways glance and shivered.

"Fine, thank you." Angel replied as nonchalantly as she could and extended her hand to grab a piece of bread.

"That's good." Lavi nodded.

During the whole breakfast, he was talkative, even though he didn't direct a single word to Angel again. She was quite disconcerted, but the morning's small talk lifted her spirits just enough to respond the inquiries animatedly.

Just before breakfast was over, Komui stamped a newspaper on the table right in front of Kanda and Izzie. "You are on the front page"

Angel leaned to get a better look. At the bottom part of the page were two pictures of Kanda and Tykki rolling on the floor, hitting each other. On one corner was another photograph of Tykki cleaning the blood from his lip with a towel. Angel exchanged a worried glance with Izzie.

Kanda only clicked his tongue spitefully and set the paper aside, "I don't care."

"Are you aware of the kind of message you are giving with this?" Komui pushed.

The Japanese musician glared at him, "I am a rockstar. I play music and they like me for that. What I do with my personal life is my own business."

"It is as long as you don't do it on the stage." The manager grunted. Everyone fell in a tense silence, and Angel could see Izzie stiffen.

Kanda only made a 'tsch' with his mouth and crossed his arms on his chest.

"You have to apologize." Komui declared.

Kanda puffed up in a second, "Hell, no!"

This time, Izzie interfered, "Komui, I don't think…"

"And you," Komui directed a softer glance in her direction, although his voice was stern, "I know you have your best intentions in mind, but you cannot expose yourself to clean Kanda's mistakes."

Izzie was taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"They saw you talking to Tykki after the incident," Komui took the newspaper and revealed a picture some pages ahead of the principal lines. There they found the continuation of the note and a blurry photograph of Tykki and Izzie inside the coffee house.

Angel saw the color disappear from her face in one second. Kanda snatched the paper away from Komui's hand and growled, "What is this, Izzie?! What were you thinking?!" his voice edged on a yell.

Izzie took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure, "I apologized for you, what else?" she lied.

"Why didn't you tell me?! You know what this-"

"I went with her," Angel interrupted, "Actually, we," she nudged Matt to nod, "we went with her. She was safe."

"I don't see you in the photograph." Kanda distrustfully pointed out.

"We were getting the coffee." Angel smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry, we should have told you, but Izzie knew you'd never agree. She was just trying to prevent them from suing."

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard," Kanda turned to look at Izzie, "what were you thinking?!"

"I-" Izzie gave Angel a sideways glance and swallowed, "I just pretended to protect you."

"I don't need your protection." Kanda abruptly stood up and sauntered away.

Allen exclaimed, "Come on, Kanda! Don't be like that!"

Izzie left her chair soon afterwards and pursued Kanda towards the elevator. She grabbed his arm and he snatched it away brusquely. Angel frowned, annoyed by the douche behavior, but kept her comments to herself.

Lavi, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes and murmured, "There's something going on."

Angel looked at him, "What?"

They locked gazes and Lavi repeated, "There's something going on," he shook his head and stood up, "I can notice it."

* * *

><p>Izzie followed Kanda into the lifter and along the hallway stubbornly, "Yuu, please. Kanda!"<p>

"Get out of my sight, woman!"

Izzie seized his arm, "Can you just listen?!"

"No!" he jerked away from her, "I don't want to talk!"

"Why are you so mad?!" Izzie stood between his hotel room's door and the musician, "Why does it bothers you so much?!"

"I am Yuu fucking Kanda, I don't apologize!"

"Okay, don't do it, but stop acting like this!"

"Well, don't do it you either!"

Izzie shook her head, "What?"

"I didn't do anything wrong and you fucking go and apologize like I was the fucking villain! If it fucking bothers you that I fucking defend you, then go and get yourself fucked up by that idiot!"

She could not handle it anymore. Having Kanda yelling at her and being so rude brought tears to her eyes. The truth was about to drop from her mouth, but it was probably worse than the lie they had made up. All she had been doing was for his sake, and this was what she gained?

Izzie hit him on the chest with her open hands, "I was covering your back!" she yelled.

"I don't need you to cover my back!"

"Then what do you need me for?!" she exploded, "Just to make out?! Is that all you want from me?!"

"What the fuck, woman?"

"That's all we do!" Izzie cried.

"That's what we are for!" Kanda defended in the same aggressive tone.

Izzie's eyes widened. "Is that so?" she felt insulted and disappointed, "Is that what it means to you?"

Kanda observed her levelly, "I don't get you."

"Of course you don't, because all we do is make out and make out and make out!" she pushed him away violently and stalked to her room.

"Izzie!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

* * *

><p>Angel knocked on the door gently before sliding into the room.<p>

She found Izzie curled up on a bed, her face buried between her knees. She trembled and sobbed quietly.

Angel sat at the feet of the bed and touched Izzie's leg gently. The songwriter lifted her eyes towards her and shivered.

Feeling kind of rejected, Angel stood up to leave. Nonetheless, before she gave a step forward, something gripped her wrist and forced her back down.

"Don't go…" said Izzie in a tremulous voice. Suddenly, the girl leaned forward and hugged Angel tightly. Without knowing what to say, the singer just patted her friend's shoulder awkwardly and made soothing noises with her voice.

"What if we break up?" Izzie muttered between sobs. She slid slightly away and brought her knees to her chest. Angel observed her, perplexed.

"You just fought," the girl tried to console her, "you won't break up."

"What if we do?" insisted Izzie, "What if he finds out about…you know…"

Angel frowned. Truth be told, she feared the paparazzi and random cell phones with cameras. Tykki and Izzie had been rather careless, and they had been going out in public without any kind of prevention. They might as well put a neon light above their heads and walk down the streets.

"He won't," Angel said for the sake of her friend, hoping with all her heart that it was true, "as long as you're careful, he won't."

"But, what if he does?" the songwriter grunted and pulled her hair, "What if he does? What if we never get past this? What if I never free myself from Tykki?" the possibility horrified Izzie and Angel. The former, however, turned pale and she widened her eyes in fear. She sobbed and cried out, "what if this just goes on and on and on? How am I gonna defend Kanda? How…how…they are travelling with us! What if Kanda finds out and he fights Tykki and he gets killed?! Angel, I'm doing what I can, but the photographs, and…" the weep choked any other word she might have been about to say. Angel hugged her tightly, pushing her head onto her shoulder, and consoled Izzie the best she could. The writer's desperation brought tears to her eyes, and she felt powerless upon knowing that there wasn't much she could do but stay there with her.

"I don't want to lose Kanda…" Izzie whispered.

"You're not losing him…"

"Yes, I am!" Izzie gritted her teeth, "Every day, Angel. Every day since you left…I'm doing what I can to get closer to him, but then all this happens and he just…we…" she inhaled deeply to recover her breath and continued, "I'm so scared, Angel."

Angel took Izzie's hands between hers, "Don't be. Everything will be fine."

"How?! How, Angel, how?! We are so trapped into this…how…when did all got so messed up?!"

"I don't know how, but it will be fine." Angel tried to offer her a confident smile, "It's a mystery."

Amongst her sobs and horror, Izzie exclaimed, "You just got that from _Shakespeare in love._" She frowned, "That's a movie. It doesn't work in real life…we're _fucked up._"

Angel gave her a serious, stern gaze, "Yes, it is, but we can fix it." She tried to transmit her determination to Izzie, "I don't know how, Izzie, just…let's just…hold on for a while. We'll find a solution along the way."

"What if we don't?"

"We will."

"How are you so sure?" the look in Izzie's eyes was that one of a desperate soul looking for a small piece of redemption. Angel's heart wrenched.

The musician reunited all her strength and smirked, "We always do, we just…"

"How's dad?" Izzie abruptly interrupted. Angel watched her levelly, surprised by the sudden change of subject. She had a rather puzzled, desolated expression. Her hands had clenched into fists and she trembled more than before.

"Fine." Angel assured, "He's okay."

Izzie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She seemed to be meditating intensively about something.

"You should call him." Angel ventured cautiously.

"No" Izzie declared, opening her eyes, "Not yet."

Without knowing what else to say, Angel only sat by her side and waited for the sobs to relent. When she seemed to have gotten her mind together, Izzie turned to Angel and murmured, "Thank you…for helping me out there."

Angel only shrugged, "That was the least I could do."

"I'm sorry…" Izzie reluctantly hissed, looking at her hands "err…for being an idiot…sorry". Since she was with Kanda, the apologizing words started to disappear from her vocabulary. Angel knew how hard it was for her to pronounce that phrase, and the fact that she had done it touched her heart deeply.

"That's okay." She soothingly replied, "You're forgiven."

Izzie smiled wryly at her. Angel hugged her briefly and murmured, "We'll be fine."

Izzie was applying new make up when a knock on the door caught her attention. Angel and she exchanged a consternated glance and Izzie hurried to cover her reddened eyelids with powder. She was about to answer when the door swung open and Kanda stepped in noisily.

Izzie watched him carefully. Her heart turned inside her chest, but she tried to appear serene and normal. She knew that they had to fix things sooner or later, although she never imagined it would be so soon. It surprised her, however, that it was Kanda who took the first step this time. Usually she was the one following him around so they could sit down and talk. If it was for him they would never speak out their problems.

And she was right.

Kanda said something in a grave voice that her mind didn't record. She gaped at him and blinked twice, not really understanding why. Her mouth pronounced a question and she observed his lips move to repeat whatever nonsense he was saying.

She frowned. This was ridiculous. Her body felt numb and, out of nowhere, it was really hard to breath.

"I don't get it-" she finally heard herself murmur.

"I'm done." Kanda deadpanned, and this time the words resounded clear and loud inside her head.

Izzie stared at him while she felt her own body shrink, "I-I'm sorry, I still…what are you trying to say?"

Kanda sent her a fumbling look and clenched his hands into fists, "I can't do it no more, Izzobel!" he roared, apparently frustrated, "It's too damn hard! It's over."

The world suddenly started to spin around. The room blurred and the sounds were muffled. The obvious dropped from her mouth as an automatic reflex, although she heard everything as if it were happening far, far away, "Are you breaking up with me?"

Kanda averted his gaze and somberly replied, "Yes."

* * *

><p>AN: It's been a long time, but I AM BACK!

I'll be replying PMs soon, so forgive me if I haven't answered! I have not forgotten you!

So...yes, yes, after some drama in my life, I'm ready to pour some in here. Hope you enjoy it. Or, have you forgotten me? :(

Greetings!


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